Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. I do own Lexi.
Chapter 25: Eyes Open
"Sammy, why don't you go out? Get some groceries or something? You've sat here all night." Dean suggests to his little brother.
"I can't. I can't leave her." Sam says, not even taking his eyes off Alexis, as if she'd disappear if he did.
"You can't just keep sitting here. Besides, when she wakes up she's going to be hungry. I'll sit here with her, okay? You need a break." he tells Sam.
It was getting to be nine in the morning, Alexis had been out cold for over six hours and Sam had barely even moved from the spot next to her.
"But-" Sam begins, only to be cut off by Dean.
"But nothing. Go get some groceries and come back. She's not going anywhere Sammy, she's going to be fine." he says.
"Fine. I'll be back soon." Sam says and then gets up.
As soon as he hears the door shut, Dean sits down near Alexis.
"You've got to wake up, Lex. You've got to wake up and be okay. Because if you're not…" he says, trailing off. He didn't want to think about what losing Alexis would mean. Not having her around was unimaginable.
"I don't even think you can hear me, but you just need to wake up. Open your eyes, Lex." he continues.
Figuring no one could ever prove he was getting this sappy, he goes on. "Sammy needs you, Lex. More than you know. We both need you. I don't know what demons want with you, but they're not going to get you, okay? We won't let them."
About a minute later he hears, "Who are you and what have you done with Dean Winchester?"
"Lex? You heard all of that?" he asks. Thank God she's awake. Well not God, he probably had nothing to do with it.
"Every word." she says and then coughs. "Could you uh, get me some water?" Alexis asks.
"Water. Yeah, be right back." he says and then heads out to the kitchen.
When he gets back, Alexis is attempting to get out of bed. "Hey, hey, what are you doing?" he asks, setting the water down and reaching her just as she trips. She'd have fallen flat on her face had he not caught her. "You need to be in bed." he says, holding her up.
"I'm fine." she says.
"You just woke up. Castiel said you need rest. No walking around for you right now. Back in bed." he tells her. "You can fight me on this, but it's a fight you won't win." he adds upon seeing the look in her eye.
She scrunches up her face and says, "Fine."
Once she's back in bed and has had some water she asks, "Where's Sam?"
"Sent him to get groceries. I should probably call him." he says, reaching for his phone.
"No, don't." she says, stopping him.
"What?" Dean asks, not understanding.
"Don't call him." she says.
"What- why not?" he asks her, an eyebrow raised in confusion.
"Just don't. He'll be back soon enough." Alexis says.
She wasn't making any sense and he could see the old walls being put back up in her mind. She was pulling away again, cutting herself off for some reason.
"Lex, what's going on?" he asks, not entirely sure he wanted to hear her answer.
She turns away from him so she's looking out the window and says, "When Sam gets back you two should leave."
There was no emotion on her face or in her voice. The way she was acting was like the past few years never even happened.
"What?" he asks entirely shocked and completely confused.
"Demons want me. Alive. They also want Sam. Dead. They'd like you dead too. If we're apart, it's harder to find us, harder to get us. If they found us, they'd kill you both and make me watch. What happened yesterday would be a walk in the park compared to what they'd do if they got us all. That- that can't happen." she explains, still not looking at him.
He understood exactly what she was saying, and a small part of him agreed, but he knew they shouldn't split up. "No. We are not splitting up. No way, not happening." Dean states.
"It's the best way. I can't…" she trails off, her mask faltering a bit.
"You can't what?" he asks.
"I can't watch them kill Sam. I can't watch them kill you. I just can't. They can slice me up seven ways till Sunday and I won't care. They can't hurt me that way. They can hurt me through you two, and they know that." she explains, the walls beginning to crumble.
"Look, I get what you're saying, but we can't separate, Lex. Back with the demon my dad wanted the same thing. It didn't work. We were stronger together, and in the end that's how we brought the son of a bitch down. It's the same here with this. We need to stick together." he insists.
"Dean, I can't. I just- I can't." she says, on the verge of tears.
She wasn't one to cry easily, so seeing her like this was unsettling. "Alexis." he says.
"Dean." she responds, matching his tone.
"You can't do this." he says, feeling like they were headed for an argument.
"Oh I can't?" she asks, sarcasm dripping off her words.
"Think about Sam, Lex. You can't do this to him." he tells her, trying to reason with her. Who am I kidding? She's a Harvelle. You can't reason with a Harvelle that doesn't want to be reasoned with.
"I am thinking about Sam." she defends.
"Are you really? Because if you were, you'd know you can't do this to him. It'll destroy him, Lex!" he says, beginning to raise his voice.
"He has you! And at least he'll be alive! If I stay he'll quite possibly end up dead!" she retorts, also raising her voice.
Dean just scoffs and shakes his head.
"You can't seriously think I'm happy about this. It's just what's best for all of us." she says.
The two continue arguing back and forth until Sam walks in.
"Guys?" Sam questions, having heard arguing upon walking through the front door. He was relieved to see Alexis awake but confused about what was happening.
The two abruptly fall silent, turning their attention to him.
"What's going on? Why were you yelling?" he asks.
"Ask her." Dean says coldly.
"Lex?" Sam asks, turning to her.
Alexis just turns and stares out the window, not saying anything.
Dean scoffs and says, "You can't even tell him. She wants to leave, Sammy."
Leave? What? He looks to Alexis, hoping to see it wasn't true, but the distant look he finds on her face tells him Dean was right.
"Go." he says to his older brother.
"What?" Dean asks.
"Go. I need to speak to my girlfriend alone." Sam says, some anger seeping into his words. He was angry, but mostly hurt. Part of him wanted to yell and part of him wanted to cry, so he went with sitting next to her and trying to keep his cool.
Without looking at him Alexis says, "You and Dean should go."
"Lex…" he trails off, not knowing what to say.
"You don't need to stay, so you should just leave." she says, still not looking at him.
"Lex, look at me. What's going on?" he asks, cupping her chin in his hands, turning her head to face him.
She shuts her eyes and doesn't say anything.
"Are- are you breaking up with me?" he asks dejectedly.
She opens her eyes and for the first time makes eye contact with him. He can see how torn and upset she is.
"Did I- did I do something? What I said the other day, I'm sorry. I didn't-" he says but gets cut off by
Alexis putting her finger to his mouth and then shaking her head.
"Then what is it? Why do you want to leave?" Sam asks, not at all understanding.
"I just- we have to split up." she says, clearly fighting tears.
"Why?" he asks.
She looks like she's struggling to find words so Sam says, "Is it because of the demons?"
Alexis nods.
"That's why we can't split up, Lex. They want you. If we leave you, they can get you more easily."
"Let them." she says.
"What?" he asks, shock evident on his face.
"Let them get me." she repeats.
"But- but they'll torture you or kill you, or both." he tells her.
"I don't care."
Those three words pierced through him like a bullet. How can she still not care about her own life?
"I do." he responds.
"The demons don't just want me, Sam. Yes, I'm the one they want alive. But they want both you and Dean dead. If they find us all, they'll- they'll kill you and make me watch. I can't Sam. I can't watch that. So we split up. They're going to be after me more I'm guessing, so it should throw them off your track. If they find me, so be it. At least they don't find you two also." she explains.
Dammit. Everything she just said makes sense. "We're stronger together Lex. If the demons find all of us, we fight them. You took out five demons on your own. We'd get out. You just- you just can't leave. I can't lose you, I won't." he tells her, one of her hands enclosed in his.
"That took me hours, Sam. By the time I'd take enough of them down to get to you, you'd both be dead. I don't want to leave, I don't, but it's what's best." she says, her eyes locked on his.
She was barely holding it together and all he wanted to do was hold her and tell her everything would be okay. "It's not what's best, Lex. What's best is we stick together, we fight them if they come. If we die, well we die. But something tells me the angels aren't going to let Dean die, and if one of us dies, Dean will demand we're brought back before he helps them. And Castiel said he couldn't find you. You're hidden for some reason. So if we split up and you get in trouble, we'd never be able to find you." he argues, trying his best to convince her to stay.
She closes her eyes and buries her face in her hands.
She looks so small, so fragile, and so scared. Three things she very rarely looked let alone all at the same time. Not able to sit and watch her like that anymore, he moves himself so that he is positioned behind her and pulls her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her. "Just say you'll stay." he says softly.
"But…" she says, trailing off.
"Please." Sam pleads.
"If I lose you…" she says brokenly, trailing off once again.
"You won't. I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you. We're both going to be fine, okay? You will not lose me. Not a chance." he tells her firmly.
Alexis nods against his chest as a tear runs down her face.
"Please just stay." Sam says.
"I'll stay." she says quietly as a few more tears escape.
"Hey, no tears. It's all going to be okay. We're all going to be okay." he says, wiping away a few of the tears on her face away.
She turns herself sideways slightly and buries her head in his shoulder.
The two sit there in silence for a bit before Sam speaks up. "Hey Lex." he says.
She looks up slightly with a questioning look.
"I wanted to apologize for the other day." he begins.
"Sam, you don't have to. It's okay." she says.
"No. No it's not. Just let me apologize, okay?" he says. He felt horrible about the fight they'd had, mainly because it was entirely on him. And accusing her of liking Dean was just a low blow.
She nods and lets him continue.
"We shouldn't have fought at all. It was stupid and entirely my fault. I shouldn't have gotten so mad at you and I definitely shouldn't have accused you of liking Dean. I know you don't and I shouldn't have said it. I hate fighting with you. And then when I got back to well, living, and Pamela said you were taken I couldn't help but think what if our last real conversation was a fight?" he says.
"Oh Sam." she says, bringing her hand to his cheek. "It's okay, alright? Couples fight. It happens. But we're both here, we're both okay. Don't beat yourself up about it."
"But it's-" he begins but is cut off by her pressing her lips to his.
She kisses him gently and then says, "No buts. It's okay."
"God I missed you. I was so scared that you weren't going to wake up, that you weren't going to be okay."
"Well I am, or will be in a day or so." she tells him.
"Will be?" he asks, giving her a questioning look.
"I uh, tried to get up earlier and nearly fell flat on my face. Totally would have had Dean not caught me. Guess I used a lot more energy and lost more blood than I thought." she says.
"Yeah, Cas said you'd need rest. You almost died Lex, and had it not been for him, you would have. You would have died in my arms." he says, choking on the last few words.
"The important thing is I didn't, okay? I'm right here." she tells him.
"You had lost so much blood. I never ever want to come that close to losing you again. Not like that." he says, slightly tightening his hold on her.
"I know." she responds, leaning her head further back to rest on his shoulder.
After another few minutes of silence, Sam asks about something that hadn't sat well with him. What she'd said earlier about not caring what the demons would do to her.
"Lex?" he asks, tearing her out of her thoughts.
"Hm?" she responds softly.
"What you said earlier about not caring if the demons killed you, how can you not care? How can you still not care about yourself?" he asks, turning slightly to face her.
"I don't know, I just don't. What I meant though was whatever they do to me would be better than them having either you or Dean. So it's not that I don't care at all about myself, I guess I just don't value my life more than others, especially you two." she says, trying to explain.
"That's kind of dangerous, Lex." he tells her.
"Yeah, whatever." she responds, trying to brush the topic off.
"No, not whatever. You need to care what happens to you, Lex. If you don't, you'll be more reckless. I care about what happens to you, and you care about me, right? So can you try and care more about yourself? If not for you, for me?" he questions.
"I'll try. For you." she responds.
"Good." he says.
She leans back again and says softly, "I love you."
"I know. I love you too." he responds.