AN:

Yesssss, New one! Believe it or not!

Enjoy!

Warning: Angst + Extreme Cuteness (Yes Again) + Fluff

The Painful Guardianship

Chapter 25 – Back

Last Chapter:

Just as Snape stood up to go to his room, Harry opened his eyes and quipped, "Daddy? When I was taking the bath, I found my thing looking so big. Is that bad?"

"Er ...!"

……………………………

Now how the hell was he supposed to answer that? And what in Merlin's name was Harry thinking asking him this?

Snape's mind was reeling as he watched the boy looking up at him expectantly. God, he never thought he would be in this situation, "You see … erm … no I mean it's …"

The boy was listening. Damn it!

"Ahem, well you have to sleep now. I … I will answer your question later." Snape then smirked. "After tomorrow." There, let's just see what the boy will do then.

Harry pouted a little, but his eyes were drooping, "kay. Night Daddy."

"Good night, brat."

Harry grinned as he closed his eyes. He didn't know why, but he liked it when his Daddy called him that. Snape smiled and kissed the top of Harry's head. If anyone ever knew he did that almost everyday … the very thought was just horrifying.

….………………

After the brat was finally asleep, Snape went to his room, changed his clothes and settled in bed with a book. He was tired and Harry had managed to give him a nasty headache.

His thoughts drifted to the day's happening and suddenly he sat up in bed. Dumbledore! Oh God, what did he do? What did he do? Did he really throw Albus out of his house? Snape's heart clenched. And the things that he said. He rubbed his now aching temples as he left bed and started pacing. How could I ever do that?

He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself down. It didn't work. If anything it made it worse. The only thing he saw in his mind when he closed his eyes was Dumbledore's pale face when he was ranting. Snape's throat felt tight. Dumbledore! The only person that had shown him any emotion, besides his mother. The only person that trusted him. The only person who loved him. He treated him fairly, despite all his sins. How could he do that? How could he?

Snape sat down again, his thoughts blinding him. What was Albus doing now? God, the expression on his face when Snape told him he ruined his life and was ruining Harry's! It was just unbearable.

But Harry was sick. He had collapsed because of Dumbledore. Yes, but he didn't want that to happen, did he? Dumbledore was distraught himself at what happened because of him. But Snape had every reason to rant and rage at him. If it wasn't for Dumbledore, nothing of this would have happened. But, if it wasn't for Dumbledore, Snape wouldn't even be here now, he would be rotting in Azkaban.

Another memory sprang on Snape's mind almost making him sob in frustration and guilt. That one memory that Snape held onto whenever it became too dark around him. He could remember it as if it happened only yesterday not sixteen years ago. That night, he almost crawled to Dumbledore's office, bleeding and sobbing, grief and pain tearing him apart, still clad in those cursed robes and mask. Dumbledore came running down the stairs from his office and caught a much younger Severus in his arms before he collapsed, and carried him back to his office, holding him close like a child, not caring if he stained his robes and beard with his blood. He only said five little words that day, five words that reshaped Severus' life, that gave Severus a life. He held Severus in his arms and whispered, "I was waiting for you." That was the last thing Severus remembered before the darkness engulfed him. He said he was waiting for him. Albus never lost hope that he would come back. He gave him a life, another chance. He helped him, defended him, and cared for him for years. Even when Severus confessed everything he had done, disgusted with himself, and retching too many times while recounting every detail, Dumbledore only held him and let him speak. Even when Severus tried to bathe afterwards, he wanted to clean each and every filthy inch of his skin. The water was scalding hot and he scrubbed himself until he bled, but he knew he would never be clean. Dumbledore came into the bathroom, and with a wave of his hand, he cooled the water and took the wash cloth from Severus' hand. He bathed him, gently and slowly, soothing him with some inane words, telling him that everything was going to be alright. That he was now clean.

Snape watched in fascination as tears trickled down from his face onto his hands. Great, so now he started crying like Harry at every little provocation?

Harry! What was going to happen with Harry? He would never leave him, would never let anyone take him away. Not after they found each other. But Dumbledore was right. They have to think about what would happen later. They couldn't possibly show up at Hogwarts with the boy calling him Dad and hugging him every few minutes. Snape snorted. The Gryffindors would have a field day, not to mention his Slytherins. And of course, his associates. If the signs were true, they would also have more serious complications coming up. Things were stirring, his arm was itching and all the others were feeling it as well. If his last conversation with Lucius was any indication, things were going to get much darker very soon.

…………………….

After some time, Snape lost all hope of sleep and quietly went down to his study. He opened one of his favourite old potions tomes, closed his eyes, and let his mind wander again until he heard footsteps.

So the girl couldn't sleep too it seemed.

Hermione knocked lightly on his open door and he gestured for her to come in.

"Miss Granger, Shouldn't you be getting some sleep?"

Hermione studied her hands for a moment before taking a deep breath, and asked, "Shouldn't you, Sir?"

Really, that girl had a nerve.

"Not that it is any of your business Granger, but I couldn't sleep."

Hermione nodded. It was understandable and of course expected.

"Now would you return the favour and answer my question? Why are you out of bed this late?"

"I … I couldn't sleep, Sir."

"Ah, a valid excuse!"

Hermione surprised herself by smiling at the comment.

"Have a seat Miss Granger." Snape commanded closing his eyes again.

Hermione watched the potions master for some time. His face was expressionless, but she could feel it. The man was hurting, and she wished she could do anything to comfort him. He had done everything in his power to provide Harry with a shoulder to lean on. Harry whom she came to think of as the brother she never had. Harry would want her to be there for his father.

"Sir?"

"Yes, Miss Granger?"

"Is there anything I can do?"

Snape opened his eyes and studied the girl intently making her fidget in her seat. She held her head high and forced himself to stop fidgeting. She only wanted to help.

"Tell me Miss Granger, what would you do if you had a life that was dark in very respect and then you find a beam of light trying to escape inside your life?"

"I would hold onto the beam of light with my very bones, Sir." Hermione answered quickly and confidently.

"What if all your bones will be crushed in the process, and you're not even sure that the light won't drown in the midst of all the darkness around you?"

Hermione swallowed. Somehow, his tone, his expression, his eyes, and his voice as he whispered the question to her, made her heart clench and her stomach twist painfully. She was almost in tears as she answered her teacher, "I am sorry Professor. I don't know, I am sorry."

Snape was now standing beside her. When did he leave his chair and come nearer? He laid his hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him with frozen tears in her eyes.

"It's alright Miss Granger. It isn't your responsibility to solve the problem. Go get some sleep."

Hermione nodded and stood up. Snape smirked, "After all, you wouldn't want to miss the brat's awakening in the morning, would you?"

Hermione smiled weakly at that, "Good night, Professor."

"Good night Miss Granger."

As she reached the door, Snape called out, "Miss Granger?"

She looked back.

"Thank you."

Hermione acknowledged the thanks with a curt nod and went to her room. After a few moments, Snape put off the lights and followed to his room too. He might be able to get some sleep after all.

……………………..

Snape woke up to the feeling of something heavy settling on his chest. He opened his eyes to see a mop of very messy black hair tickling his nose as Harry laid his head on his chest fast asleep, arm securely around his Daddy's waist.

Snape couldn't help but smile. Never in his life, had he thought of seeing a day where a child, his child, would be sleeping in his arms. He gently stroked the messy hair for a few moments and wondered briefly what he did to deserve having this child in his life.

Then, for the first time that he could ever remember, Severus Snape fell asleep with a smile tugging at his lips, his arms embracing the boy.

………………………………

Morning came too quickly. Snape woke up in a foul mood. Between lack of sleep, a brat running wild in the house, and all what happened with the Headmaster, the last day had finally taken its toll on Snape's nerves. In short Snape was totally unprepared for the scene he saw in the kitchen.

Snape blinked, then stared. That BRAT was in for a rather long session over his knee, if he could extract him from all the chocolate that is.

He snapped, "What do you think yourself doing?"

Harry flinched at the tone but then looked up and saw his Daddy. He grinned. Well at least Snape thought that he grinned when some white teeth showed inside the dark brown smudge that seemed to be in the place of the brat's mouth and chin.

"Eating (slurp) ice-cream, Daddy."

Snape didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Harry was sitting cross legged over the kitchen table with the chocolate ice-cream bowel in his lap, the spoon buried deep in it and he was using his fingers to scoop ice-cream in his mouth staining his pajamas, his face, his arms, the table and anything within his reach.

Snape took a deep breath. It was all he could do not to hex Harry into oblivion right then and there.

A rather cheerful voice came from behind him then, "Good morning Professor. Good morning - Oh My God!"

Hermione tried to stifle her laughter as Harry looked back at them innocently.

The potions master snapped viciously making both Hermione and Harry jump, "Harry James Potter! You have exactly 10 minutes to clean yourself and this mess, or may God help you, I'm going to spank you until you cry!" Which was actually a mild threat considering that even the 14 years old Harry usually started crying after the fifth smack!

Harry immediately sniffled, his eyes brimming with tears. Snape rolled his eyes and left to take refuge in his study.

Hermione's heart went out for Harry as she gently took his hand and pulled him off the table.

"Aw Harry, why are you crying now?"

"Be-because Daddy said he .. he's going to sp-ank me until I c-cry."

Hermione shook her head in amusement. "Harry you do realize that you're already crying?"

"Yes, but Daddy didn't spank me. And he said he will, and I don't want him to." He whined.

Hermione made a mental note never to try logic with Harry in that state. "Right. Um, so why don't we clean this mess now and then Daddy will be happy, OK?"

Harry nodded pathetically and it was all Hermione could do not to hug him and make a mess out of herself too.

She made another mental note to try and stop Harry from committing suicide once he was 14 again. Poor Harry! Why was everything happening to him?

……………………….

10 minutes later, Snape heard a small knock at his door. He smiled, so finally the brat was clean again. "Come in," He called drawing a stern expression on his face.

The door opened and Granger entered with Harry following closely, trying to hide behind her, which was a miserable attempt as he was taller than her. Snape forced himself not to smile at the scene.

Hermione pulled a very reluctant, and thankfully clean, Harry from behind her. "Professor, Harry wants to apologize." She gently pushed Harry forward whispering, "Go on!"

The boy came beside him studying his shoes and whispering with a voice still full of tears, "I am sorry Daddy."

Merlin! That boy would definitely be the death of him.

Snape smiled, "Come, brat." In a flash, Harry was snuggling in Snape's arms trying his best to disappear inside his Daddy's chest.

Hermione was smiling as she left them alone and went to prepare some tea for breakfast.

After a few moments Harry asked meekly, "Daddy are you still angry with me? I will never eat ice-cream again. I promise."

Snape chuckled, "No Harry, I am not angry with you. And eating ice-cream is alright."

Harry looked at him in confusion, "It is? But … but you were angrrryy" Harry whined making Snape roll his eyes.

"I was angry because you ate ice-cream before you even had any breakfast, and you know better, brat. You were almost unrecognizable with all the mess you've done."

Harry snuggled even closer, if that was at all possible repeating again, "I am sorry," feeling really very sorry for making his Daddy angry.

Snape smiled, "It's alright now Harry. So, how about some breakfast?"

Harry blushed, "I'm full, Daddy."

Naturally, Snape thought snidely, "Alright just come sit with us then."

…………………………..

After breakfast, Snape called Dane to inform him that Harry was … indisposed… and couldn't baby sit Maria. He put down the phone to see a pouting Harry with his hands at his waist. He raised an eyebrow, "What now, Harry?"

"I wanted to play with Maria."

Snape shared an exasperated look with Hermione, "That's not possible today, Harry."

Harry pouted even more severely, "But I want to!" He whined. Snape shook his head. That was getting too much for him. One more sentence from Harry using that whining tone, and Snape was sure he would be greatly tempted to hex him into a few years of silence.

"Harry, you wanted to color some more last night, remember? Why don't you get your books and crayons?"

Harry smiled, "kay!" And he ran to his room to get his things leaving Hermione and Snape in an uncomfortable silence, until he groaned, "I will need a few months of rehabilitation after this."

Hermione laughed. Harry was proving to be more trouble that she ever thought he was, but he was just so cute and innocent, and well, a brat. "I just don't understand Professor. I don't think he was like that when he was four, far from it. So why is he that much of a handful now?"

"The brat is testing me, Miss Granger. He wants to know if I am going to accept him, whatever he does or not, in a most childish way of course."

"Oh!"

Snape rolled his eyes. What was it with those three kids and language skills?

"Sir, I just want to tell you how much I appreciate what you're doing for Harry. I would never have believed it had I not seen it myself. You love him Professor and he loves you back more than you can ever imagine."

Snape's expression softened, "It's hard not to love that boy."

Hermione really wanted to retort with something like, Yeah? So why did you make his life hell for the last three years? But then thought better of it. That past was over now.

"Um, I think I should leave now. Thank you Professor for letting me stay last night."

"You, and the Weasley boy, are Harry's best friends. You will be always welcome in Harry's home."

Hermione blinked. She still couldn't understand how things escalated that quickly. That now, Snape was calling Harry his son, and his house was now Harry's home. It was as if Snape read her thoughts. He added, "Yes Miss Granger. Whatever happens later, this will continue to be Harry's home. At least that's always what I will think of it."

Hermione shook her head, "I hope you never have to change that Sir, for both your sakes."

Snape raised an eyebrow making Hermione blush. Now, the girl cared about his feelings too. Great! Soon he will find himself wearing red shirts with golden buttons.

Harry was running down the stairs now holding a big assortment of transfigured sheets and crayons, while Hermione went to phone her parents. Snape stopped her, "Miss Granger, if you would like, you can stay until Harry gets better. I am sure he enjoys your presence."

"Thank you Sir. I would love to."

Snape turned to look at Harry who was now tugging at his sleeve. Snape waved his hand carelessly at Hermione saying, "Of, and while you're here Granger, you can look through the books in my study."

Hermione perked up at that. "I can really? Thank you Sir. That's great. I will be able to review the essay on -"

Snape silkily asked, "Miss Granger? Can you do me a favor?"

Hermione stopped short in her rant, "Of course Professor. Anything."

Snape smirked, "Hush up. Will you?"

Hermione pinked and nodded silently. That man can't even continue to be nice for a few hours to save his life!

…………………………

Some time later, Harry was lying down on the floor on his stomach coloring away, Snape was reading in an armchair, Hermione, much to her delight, was also burying her nose in one of Snape's books.

Oh yes, Snape had given her 'the lecture' concerning what would happen if she so much as wrinkled a corner of one page of his books. But it had absolutely no effect on the girl. She merely scoffed saying, "Professor, I think you will need to add more acid to the solution if you want my fingers preserved for a longer time in the jar above your desk." The girl had fled to sit with Harry before he could reach a nearby knife to start cutting her fingers immediately for that retort.

………………………………

They were sitting in the kitchen in peaceful silence for at least an hour drinking coffee (Snape), tea (Hermione), and juice (Harry) while writing, reading, and drawing respectively. That was until Harry discovered Midnight on the window seat purring in the sun. Harry snatched him eliciting a deep growl from the cat and proceeded to pat him. Midnight flipped his tail on Harry's chin in annoyance but let the boy pet him without further protest. Harry beamed. He put the cat on his lap and scratched him behind his ears. The cat glared at Harry for a moment before seemingly accepting its fate and submitted to the - oh so cruel - torture.

Harry giggled making both Hermione and Snape look up at him with an identical 'What now?' look. "Daddy, this cat looks so much like you!" Snape chocked on his coffee while Hermione was desperately trying to stifle her laughter.

"THAT'S IT BOY!" Snape snatched a large cleaning broom and pounced on Harry who squeaked and ran for his life.

Harry let himself be chased around the house, up and down the stairs, with Snape closely at his tail, making sure to keep some space between them and never catching the brat. Harry was giggling his head off while he ran away from his Daddy until he finally hid under his bed, still giggling loudly. So much for keeping quiet in his hiding place.

Snape sat on the bed making sure to thump the broom on the floor menacingly and waited for the brat to come out. After sometime, a very messy haired head peeked out from under the bed. Snape scowled making Harry duck under the bed again. "Come out brat!" Snape could hear Harry sigh, then he crawled out, and sat beside Snape on his bed silently. Snape closed his eyes and ignored him. The brat shouldn't get away with comparing him to the blasted cat in his opinion.

A few moments later, Harry leaned his head on Snape's shoulder and whispered, "Dad? Are you going to leave me?"

Snape's eyes snapped open. That was not the little Harry. It was his Harry. He raised Harry's chin and looked straight into his eyes, "I will never leave you. You will always be mine. I don't care if we have to keep this a secret, I don't care what we have to do to make people think we hate each other, what is only important is that I am your father. Nothing is ever going to change that. Do you understand?" Harry felt so tired, he leaned his head on Snape's chest and closed his eyes.

………………………

Snape snorted and Hermione looked up startled. Exactly as he had expected, the girl was glued on her seat in the exact position they had left hear, her nose buried in the book oblivious to whatever was going on. A herd of elephants could have entered the house and she wouldn't have moved a muscle.

"Interesting book, Miss Granger?" Snape asked snidely.

Hermione was about to launch on a description of the book when she noticed that Snape was alone.

She looked suspiciously at Snape, "Sir, where is Harry? You … haven't really killed him, have you?"

Snape rolled his eyes, "Not yet Miss Granger. I am sure he will save the trouble himself when he wakes up."

"He slept?"

"Harry's back, Miss Granger. He's 14 again."

Hermione was worried. Poor Harry! What was he going to do now? He would never live it down!

……………………………….

Snape and Hermione had lunch together alone because Harry was still asleep. Afterwards, the girl declared that she too needed some sleep, and for the first time that he could ever remember, Snape decided to take an afternoon nap as well.

……………………………………

Thud! …

"Harry, come on!" The girl snapped irritatingly.

Thud! …

"Harry, open the door this instant or I'll tell Professor Snape."

Snape opened his eyes. A short silence, then, Thud! …

Snape stretched his body, Thud! "Oh for the love of …"

In a few second, Snape was standing outside Harry's door beside a frustrated looking Hermione. Obviously Harry had woken up and things have just clicked. He was banging his head on the door. Thankfully not really hard to do any damage … to the door!

"POTTER! Open the door NOW!"

Harry froze. He was so embarrassed. He didn't know what to do. He seriously considered jumping out of the window, but was afraid that the jump might not kill him. He shuddered when he though of Snape's reaction to that stunt.

"Fine, we're coming in, Alohomora!"

Harry jumped in bed pulling the covers tight over him, covering his head. He really really couldn't look them in the eye … ever again. Memories of the last day flashed in his mind making his whimper in mortification at what he had done and said.

Hermione started reasoning with Harry, "Harry, come on, it's not-"

Snape cut her off effectively with a quelling look that made her gulp. He cleared his throat before very silkily saying, "Missster Potter."

Shivers ran down Hermione's spine. She didn't want to be in Harry's place now.

Snape simply added, "I will count to three!"

"One."

Harry whimpered.

"Two."

The covers shifted.

"Thr-"

Harry threw the covers and jumped out of bed with a scarlet face, and scowling for good measure.

"Harry!" "Ah there you are!" Hermione and Snape said simultaneously.

Harry put his hands at his waist, not caring how childish he looked now.

"Come here!" Snape ordered growling and even in that mortally embarrassed state Harry knew better than to disobey. He pretty much had an idea of his fate.

Immediately, Snape's hand latched in an iron grip on his ear eliciting some very satisfactory 'ows' on Harry's part, and a sympathetic look from Hermione.

"This, Harry, is for putting yourself deliberately in danger of brain damage, thumping your head on the door like that. Didn't you even think of what might happen to the door?"

Harry would have laughed, but his ear was suffering some Nazis torture right that minute. Snape tugged at his ear again making him tiptoe in a desperate attempt to keep his ear attached to his head. "And, this, is for being an insufferable brat over the last two days."

"Owwww Dad, sorry!"

Snape left Harry's ear only to pull the boy to his chest tightly, "don't you ever black-out on me again, boy."

Harry rested his head on Snape's chest while smiling sheepishly at Hermione. She laughed, "Well Harry, welcome back!"

"Thanks Mione."

Harry pulled back from Snape rubbing his ear, "You have a hard hand!" He complained.

"Yes well, you would better remember that then. Next time I won't be this lenient."

Harry scowled, "lenient! Harry shook his head. That man really needed to look up some words in a dictionary. "You are a meanie!" Harry declared.

Hermione laughed again, receiving a glare from the potions master. Harry chuckled, "Yeah, that's a good idea. Every time you call me Brat, I will call you Meanie. See how you'll like that!"

Snape bared his teeth, "Oh, just make sure you do that brat! I will definitely enjoy watching you squirm on the chairs for the rest of the summer!"

Harry wisely shut his mouth.

…………………………

After dinner, Snape apparated Hermione back to her home after giving Harry's backside a very firm swat for suggesting to obliviate both of them. When he returned back Harry was still pouting while scratching Midnight behind the ear.

Snape sat down beside him watching play with Midnight. After a moment Harry looked up and simply asked, "So, are we going to talk?"

Snape was amazed. Everyday Harry proved to be very brave. "If you want to do that now."

Harry looked down, "Yeah, I guess." The boy then took a deep breath, "Let's get it over with, Dad."

"Alright. I think you do know now that Dumbledore wasn't here to take you away?"

"Yes, I know that now. But do you?"

Snape blinked, "What?"

Harry repeated, "I know now that Dumbledore wasn't here to take me away. I just panicked. But do you know that?"

"Whatever made you ask me that? Of course I do."

Harry smiled, "Nope, you don't. If so, then where is the Headmaster? Why didn't he come to see me and make sure I was ok? I know he wouldn't have left just like that and never came back, specially that it was all because of him."

Snape stared at Harry. Since when did the boy grow a brain?

"So Dad tell me, did you hex him?" Snape glared at him. "Oh ok, I think not. After all no one can hex Dumbledore and live to tell the day. So what did you do?"

Harry's heart was racing. He knew perfectly well that something had happened. He felt guilty about it. Snape seemed to love and respect the Headmaster beyond measure and something had happened.

Snape softly said, "I threw him out of the house, Harry." Harry looked at Snape, horrified while he added, "I told him to get out and never to come back here again."

They sat in silence for a few moments until Harry said, "Um, so, aren't you going to talk to him?"

Snape raised an eyebrow, "You are taking this much better than expected, Harry."

Harry grinned, "Yeah. Someone made it very clear that I shouldn't black out again on him, you know!"

"Ah, I see."

Harry then seriously said, "Dad, I knew all along that this was going to end sometime. You will always be my Dad, I will always think of you as my father, but I was sure that things will have to change. I never knew why, but I knew that it was impossible for us to go back to school like this. I just didn't want that to happen."

"Harry, there are things that I cannot tell you now. Circumstances beyond our control that would-"

"Dad, it's alright. I don't want to know now. I don't want to spend the rest of the summer thinking about those things as you call them."

Snape stroked Harry's hair, "You know Mr. Potter, for a brat, you seem to be alright!"

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Oh? Well and for a Meanie Mr. Snape, you're doing well yourself. How could you chase a 4 years old with a broomstick?"

Snape narrowed his eyes, "Ah, that reminds me. I think it's time to answer your question."

"What ques-" Harry turned bright red and groaned slapping his hands to his face while Snape laughed loudly pulling his close. Harry buried his head in Snape's chest, just like he did over the last day, "You're evil!" Harry declared, his voice muffled in Snape's shirt.

………………………..

TBC

AN:

Dear Readers, here we meet again.

First I would like to thank each and everyone of you. You're all gorgeous and that's what keeps me going. Thank you.

Our main point of discussion is my updating issue. Many of you are angry with me because my updates are becoming slower every chapter, but really I couldn't do it faster. My RL is really crazy and I am doing a hundred things at the same time so there is really very little time for me to write. But to answer the main question that I receive, NO, I am NOT abandoning this story. So don't worry.

Concerning and Harry/Hermione relationship. No there won't be any of that. Harry and Hermione are best friends and their relationship is quickly growing to be a brother/sister relation. Harry loves and trusts Hermione and Hermione has his best interests at heart. She is also cute in my story. Well she insisted to be, I didn't have anything to do with that!

Ron is not being left out, he is just not suitable in these situations. He is loyal and also loves Harry dearly. Whatever his character flaws, when it things become serious, he will stick to Harry as a best friend should.

Draco: Don't worry, coming!

Remus and Sirius: Again don't worry, coming!

Dumbledore: Well, I believe that Dumbledore is a very nice and twinkly old man, very wise, and he really cares about people. He can make a very good grandfather, but come on we have to admit, he sometimes makes very silly decisions and someone should just knock some sense into him every now and then.

Lastly, keep R&R.

Love, Dina