AN: oh Gabrielle ;) lol

Chapter 25

Gabrielle began training with Alexa in her spare time as her initiation as an amazon was nearing. She had been in the amazon camp for a month now and she tried her very best to keep Xena off her mind and that proved very difficult especially since her son was a constant reminder of her.

Alexa attacked Gabrielle with a wooden staff and she fell to the ground, staring up at the bright sky. Alexa smiled leaning over her apprentice, lending a hand to her. Gabrielle got up off the ground and threw her wooden staff aside becoming frustrated with herself. She thought she was a pretty good fighter but she was so distracted, or perhaps because it was that the Amazons trained differently than Xena.

"Don't worry Gabrielle, you'll get the hang of it soon enough," the young amazon winked and threw the staff aside, wrapping her arm around her blonde friend. Gabrielle folded her arms and together they walked through the camp, curtly nodding their heads at the elder amazon women.

Gabrielle huffed and threw her hands in the air. "I don't know why I'm so bad at training with you," she frowned deeply as they continued to walk back to the hut where Xena's son was being watched by three young amazon girls no older than ten.

Alexa shrugged her shoulder and just as they were about to enter the hut they now both shared she stepped in front of Gabrielle, blocking the entrance. "Maybe you were training for the wrong reasons with Xena." The blonde nodded slightly agreeing with the amazon. "You don't really talk about her much...were you two close?" her eyes widened and her eyebrows lifted, hoping that Gabrielle would open up.

"I guess, I don't know," she bit her bottom lip not wishing to discuss this matter any further. She side stepped Alexa and entered the hut. The three girls gasped as the two entered the hut. Gabrielle smiled at the three babysitters. "Hey there, I hope he wasn't a lot of trouble?" she came over to see the infant and he had a bright smile on his face.

Gaila, one of the girls, smiled brightly at Gabrielle. "He was great! I hope you let us watch him again, Gabrielle." The other girls nodded their heads eagerly and Gabrielle took that into consideration. It was obvious that these girls had not been around children or babies for that matter and she definitely needed people to watch him while she trained.

Alexa sighed and ushered the girls out of the hut and they all had disappointed faces. She closed the door and watched as Gabrielle attended to the baby. She came around to her and put a hand on her shoulder gently. "You haven't even named him you know..." she kindly approached the sensitive subject as best as she could.

Gabrielle folded her arms staring at the smiling oblivious baby on the bed surrounded by many blankets and pillows. He had no idea what was going on and that was definitely a good thing. She turned her attention to Alexa with a solemn face. "I don't want to do that, she might show up at any time," she remained hopeful.

Alexa shook her head and sat down on the bed, sitting next to the infant. She now understood why Gabrielle didn't want to talk about Xena. There was obviously a lot of baggage between the two and she had barely spoke about her since she came here a month ago. "Gabrielle...she's not going to come back and I think deep down you know that."

She didn't like to hear those words and denial began sinking into her brain. She had to believe that Xena was alive somewhere and not in the hands of Caesar and Dido, but her hope was fading away as each day passed. "I have to believe that she is alive, Alexa otherwise I'll be stuck in the same cycle that I have been for awhile now."

"Tell me about her, Gabrielle. It might help you to talk about her," Alexa smiled patting the empty spot on the bed. The young blonde was skeptical but relented and sat next to her. She then picked up the infant to be closer to him and laid him down in front of them. Alexa smiled at her seeing the happiness in her eyes. "He reminds you of her doesn't he?" she mused.

Gabrielle nodded, "yes he does. They both have the same blue eyes." The amazon thought this was a good thing that her new friend was beginning to open up to her about Xena. She had no idea what this woman looked like or what kind of trouble she was in but it was obvious that Gabrielle cared for her a lot. The blonde sighed audibly as she thought more about Xena. "She's so strange. She kidnapped me you know," she mumbled.

Alexa's eyes widened at that. She never mentioned that but now that she was comfortable around her she was glad she opened up more. "she kidnapped you and you think of her as a friend?"

"Silly isn't it?" Gabrielle chuckled at that. It did sound ridiculous but it wasn't like she made it out to be. "She was nice to me. She wasn't like any other person I ever met." She paused. "She taught me things that nobody else would have if I had continued to travel alone."

"And what were these things?" Alexa leaned in closer.

Gabrielle casually shrugged, "I saw that she was having some inner struggles of her own. We were so similar in that way we just chose different paths. She taught me that you can't trust anyone, including herself." She stared into Alexa's confused eyes. "She also taught me that not everyone is going to be nice to you even if you're nice to them. She didn't realize that she was teaching me these things but I picked up on them as we spent more time together."

She continued, "she was so misguided and I don't know if my words ever got through to her. I hope that she will change her ways before it's too late," she stare down at the squirming baby laying near her legs. "Power is a deadly thing, you know. That's all she was after and I thought that if I spoke to her that I could...change her," she admitted sadly.

Alexa frowned and wrapped a warm around her friend. "Sometimes Gabrielle, people need to figure things out for themselves. I'm sure she will learn eventually."

She shook her head, "no. Xena will learn the hard way because she allows it to be that way." The more she thought about Xena the more angry she became at the path she had chosen. She thought that she would have seen the light in the end, but she didn't. she thought of herself more than anyone else and that was one of Xena's major flaws. She turned her attention back to her amazon friend. "I don't think I'm going to tell her son about her anymore. It's best that he doesn't know who she is. At least until he's old enough..." she frowned. "To keep him safe," she concluded that this was the best decision for now.

After Ares helped Xena escape from Rome she was left alone once again, always alone, she thought. She couldn't go back home because she was sure everyone hated her for what she had done in Greece. She also couldn't go to Anatolia either as she was not liked by the Centaurs and certainly wasn't going to back to find the Mesopotamian army either. She didn't have any quarrels with them but she would definitely be found out if she traveled with them as well. She also couldn't be anywhere close to Rome or Caesar because she'd probably be captured again. She was tired of being captured because she made poor decisions.

Xena began thinking about everything that Gabrielle said about her life decisions and that the path she chose was wrong. She was beginning to think that she was right about that. Everything that she did ended in despair and disappointment. She had no way of reaching out to Gabrielle to find out where she was but deep inside she didn't want to know because every time she went to seek her out bad things happened not to just her but to Gabrielle as well. She cared for her deeply and thought it best that she'd stay away from her until their paths crossed again as they did before. They always seemed to cross paths at such unexpected times and Xena wasn't sure if it was because they were meant to cross paths or not, but it was quite adventure.

Seeking out a new life would be hard and she hadn't traveled very far. Anatolia was the furthest that she had traveled but she decided that if she stayed anywhere near the Romans or Carthaginians that she'd be caught again and she didn't want that. She needed to go somewhere far away so she wouldn't be found out again. Her name had been circulated around the Mediterranean in very well known places so she wanted to set sail to go somewhere else.

She felt like she was back at square one with no army, no friends or family just as she left her home, though this time she had done such horrible things and had a child. She wouldn't forget about her son, he would always stay in her mind no matter what she did, he would always be a reminder of what could have been and what awful decisions she had made. She only hoped that he was safe and hopefully still with Gabrielle. She also hoped that she would keep him out of harm's way, although it wasn't Gabrielle's job to take care of her son and she didn't expect her to, but he would be safe with her. Gabrielle was a smart girl, she recalled, and her son shouldn't be around her because she always chose the wrong path as Gabrielle said. He didn't deserve a life like that. He deserved to be in a safe environment and grow up with other children. Xena wished the best for him and it would be hard to block that out of her mind, but for now, she couldn't be anywhere near Rome or she'd risk being captured again.

Xena had managed to stay away and traveled to the coast of Iberia figuring that Caesar wouldn't dare come that far to find her. She was unknown there and there weren't any Greek people in this country which was good news for her, but she had to learn their language while she stayed there. This country was not filled with war and famine like certain parts of Greece was, which she thought that the Greeks could learn something from these Iberian people.

Her skills as a warrior were rather useless in this land so she did very little there, but it was a good escape for her. She knew that this place would somehow end up in Caesar's hands because he wanted to expand Rome to surrounding countries and territories. She pitied these people and would love to hear that they had been conquered by Caesar himself in the future. A peaceful place like this was a great breeding ground for Romans to invade. She knew she couldn't stay here long especially since she had no money or people that were familiar to her. She had always felt like an outcast but in her own country, it was different in an unfamiliar culture.

As she wandered through the narrow streets she came to the coast and saw the Mediterranean Sea. She thought she'd never escape that sea. It followed her everywhere and that's where life began and ended as well. As she stood by the docks she saw large ships docked at the port. Some were cargo ships, others were merchants trading seafood and then she saw a ship full of people, slaves she presumed.

Folding her arms she took a good look at the man with the slave ship. He was talking with a dark skinned Iberian man, exchanging harsh words she could tell from afar. The more she looked at the man, he reminded her of Sinbad, the same eyes, dark hair and charisma too. Even his clothes were all too familiar and then she realized that he was not from Iberia. He was probably from a land like Sinbad's by the features he had.

The sailor had finished exchanging money with the Iberian man and Xena decided to approach him, curious of her own thoughts. She smiled and appeared in front of him. The sailor's eyes glanced up at her and he raised an eyebrow then grinned at her.

"May I help you, miss?" he asked kindly.

Xena's eyebrows raised and a sneaky smile came to her lips. "Do you know the sailor Sinbad?"

His eyes lit up, "do I? who doesn't? is he a friend of yours?" he inquired and tucked the pouch of money in his pocket.

A sad thought entered her mind once she realized that Sinbad was gone because of her. He was a good person and he even liked Gabrielle as well. He was willing to do anything for her and she used him for her own gain. She shook her head, "He was. Once," she added softly.

The man nodded his head with an eager smile. "You're not from around here, are you, miss?" he winked and Xena played coy but bobbed her head. He walked over to his ship and handed one of his men the pouch of money and leaned on one of the dock's posts. He placed his other hand on his hip smiling endearingly at this woman. "You don't look like a pirate or a slave either...and your accent is most familiar..." he rubbed his chin and saw her eyes change from curious to enticing.

She took a step closer, "you're a slave trader," she gestured to the many women on his ship. He laughed and then cleared his throat. She simply smiled, feigning innocence.

"I prefer to call it an opportunity," he winked at her.

Xena placed her hands on her hips, "would you mind if I travel with you? Where are you heading?" she grinned.

The man blinked, "you want to travel with me? Some might see that as an insult," he chuckled. He then saw that she wasn't joking and really wanted to come along with him. "Well, if you're Sinbad's friend, I wouldn't mind but keep your hands off my merchandise," he teased, joking about his female slaves aboard. He bowed his head politely allowing her to board his ship. "After you..."

Xena grinned and stepped onto the ship. Many of the men stared at her and noticed that she definitely wasn't a slave, but a guest. They all averted their eyes once their leader came aboard. He put his hand on Xena's shoulder, "don't mind them," he whispered in her ear. "They're only used to seeing slave girls." She simply smiled and he left her side then grabbed her hand pulling her along, which shocked her. She didn't mind, though she wouldn't want another relationship with a sailor. That didn't end well for her or for her sailor lover. She wasn't about to do that all over again. "My name is Naseem," he curtly bowed and she raised an eyebrow. Yes, he was definitely one of Sinbad's people recognizing a name like that.

"Xena," she said proudly and he smiled at her.

"That's a pretty name. Greek, right?" he winked. She shrugged her shoulder casually, not responding and he chuckled lowly then brought her below deck. Xena followed him a bit wary of her new surroundings though she was used to getting what she wanted, she had to think of Ares too. He helped her but it was not without a price. He would want something eventually, but for now he laid low just like he had for quite some time when she actually needed him.

He entered his room and Xena stepped inside. It wasn't anything special and it wasn't decorated with jewels and trinkets like Sinbad's ship was. This man was not a pirate for jewels, but a pirate of people, which could be considered worse in some eyes. She understood why it would be considered to be an insult to be traveling with a man like him.

Naseem poured some wine for her and offered her to sit down. She took the wine which she felt like she definitely needed and sat down graciously. He smiled and leaned on his deck sipping his wine. "So, where are you headed?" he asked politely.

She snickered, "I asked you first."

He tisked, "Xena, you're on my ship now. I ask the questions," he winked taking another sip of his wine. "But if you must know, I'm heading to Japa to drop off some of these women. They were requested a month or so ago."

Xena frowned, she didn't recognize this name at all. "Where is Japa?"

Naseem thought she might be joking, but then realized she wasn't. A lot of people didn't know where that was unless they were pirates or sailors and not many people were either of those things. "It's a land far from here. It's quite different there. I'm sure you'll love it," he grinned. He then sat next to her, making sure to keep his distance. He figured by her body language that she didn't want to be touched or have any intimate contact with him which he respected.

"So, I don't normally take travelers with me on my expeditions," he mused and Xena raised her eyebrows, keeping to herself and sipping the thick red wine. "Being with a pirate is not a noble thing, you know Xena. Although, if you knew Sinbad, I'm sure you're used to being around people like us, right?" he chuckled. Xena smiled slightly and he sighed heavily. "Since you're traveling with me...I might as well make you useful to me," he stood up and grabbed a dagger off his deck. "You know how to fight?" he raised an inquiring brow.

Xena nodded, "the sword is my life," she admitted, though not proudly, she put on a show for the pirate. He liked the sound of that, she could tell by his change in expression.

Naseem then thought that this woman could be of use to him after all. "How 'bout this," he put the dagger back on his desk and smiled mischievously at her. "I have to make a few more stops along the way and some of these places are shall we say...dangerous." he shrugged and sat down next to her, flipping the chair over. "You can put these people in their place while I get the slave girls, deal?"

"You want me to hoard off people for you?" she repeated making sure she was hearing that correctly. Essentially, she was becoming the same thing she was when she worked for Caesar. "I don't work for free..." she smiled, raising a brow, staring into his green eyes.

The pirate chuckled and waltzed over to his desk pulling out a small pouch from the drawer. He threw it in her lap and she frowned, staring at the bag and it was obviously filled with money. "I will pay you. I mean, if you're not interested.." he hissed. She shook her head then stood up holding out her hand. He grinned and shook her hand warmly.

This was a great way to get out of the way from the Romans, Xena thought. She knew that she could be of use to this man and for now she trusted him and his actions. She should really get a new line of work, she told herself. A second time she had come in contact with a pirate but this time she was a contractor for him, which was a different relationship from hers with Sinbad. He was different than Sinbad. He worked for a living, Sinbad was a thief and Xena definitely wasn't a thief.

The experience she had with Maeve was not a good one in the end and frankly she couldn't really remember what happened that night except she was kept moving from tent to tent with Sinbad and Gabrielle. Everything was so foggy, but she needed to get away from that life even if it meant being far away from her familiar home and Gabrielle. One day, she hoped, she would see her again and if she did, she hoped that Gabrielle's heart would soften and come to forgive her for what she had done to her over the last year.

Three Months Later

Gabrielle had been training with the amazons for four months now and Queen Melosa had decided to officially make her one of them. She had been waiting patiently but she had trained for quite some time now and thought that she had gotten a lot better since the first day of training. She realized that Xena had trained her to kill and that was a different skill that the amazons didn't have. Xena's way was so abrupt and though it got the job done, the amazons were more on the side of defensive training. These women were not the barbarians that the Centaurs believed them to be.

She began to think that Xena might do well here and would fit in with them if she left her violence behind but Gabrielle knew that wasn't likely to happen. She never forgot about Xena even after four months had passed by. She only hoped that she was still alive and that she would follow a path for good and not for evil again. Xena was easy to manipulate because she was so power hungry and she wanted so much more for Xena and her son was a constant reminder that something good came from her. He was innocent and that was something that Xena was not. She was young, but she was selfish and her son was a sad reminder of Xena's selfishness. Gabrielle knew that her decision not to tell Xena's son about her was the best thing for him. She named him Solan since she knew that Xena would not get that opportunity to see him again, if she was alive.

Gabrielle knew that Xena was alive, she felt her presence somewhere in the world even if she was not standing right next to her.

Queen Melosa wanted to have a coronation for Gabrielle this afternoon and she had a few hours to get ready. Gabrielle put on her short skirt that one of the sisters made for her and a cropped brown top to match. She glanced in the mirror then heard small murmurs coming from the other side of the room. She smiled, turning to Solan, he was making all kinds of noises which meant he was awake.

Gabrielle allowed the young girls to keep watching him during the day when she couldn't, which she thought was great therapy for the young amazons. She believed that they needed to be around small children especially a male since they were all females.

Waltzing over to him she picked him up in her arms then walked over to the mirror. His eyes wandered around and he pulled at her blouse. She grinned at him holding his finger close to her chest, which he seemed to like. Then she heard the door in the hut open and she turned to see her friend, Alexa, standing at the entrance in her ceremonial attire.

The brunette amazon came next to her peeking over her shoulder to see Solan's eyes widen as well as his smile. "You know it's a good thing we have him here," she concluded and the small infant grabbed hold of Alexa's hair. "He has really changed the way our sisters think about males," she smiled at Solan's bright blue eyes gazing back at her with a goofy smile on his face.

Gabrielle nodded, "he's probably the only good thing that has come from Xena," she admitted not with sadness but with pity. She told Xena that she pitied her once and then she took it back but now since she had possession of her son, her feeling of pity came back into her heart.

Alexa took Solan from Gabrielle's arms while she took the time to get ready for her coronation. She stared at her blonde friend and saw not sadness in her eyes, but something else. "Do you really think she's alive?"

Gabrielle smirked and brushed her long blonde hair making sure she looked more presentable. "She's Xena. She gets out of anything. I know she's alive, Alexa." She turned to her brunette friend. "I can feel it," she pointed to her chest and Alexa nodded, remaining quiet and occupied with the squirming child in her arms.

"Come on, we should get going. It's going to be a big day for you," Alexa smiled urging Gabrielle to get out of her dark mood for now. It was supposed to be a happy day today.

During the ceremony Gabrielle stood watching all the amazon sisters celebrating by a special dance they did and she smiled the entire time, a bit confused but also entertained by their way of showing affection and gratitude. Alexa stood beside her with a large grin on her face and wrapped an arm around Gabrielle. Gaila, one of the young amazons held Solan in her arms standing off on the side with the other young girls, enjoying the ceremony.

After the dance was complete, Queen Melosa smiled and gestured Gabrielle to come forward. The nervous blonde walked ahead to the queen's throne with an anxious smile. She felt all eyes on her and she became more nervous as the queen stared down at her.

The Amazon Queen drew out her sword and placed it over Gabrielle's head initiating her through a whispered prayer as Gabrielle concluded. She couldn't believe what a life she had in this last year. She had traveled to so many places just like she wanted, though some places were not her choice. She had been all across Italia, Greece, Anatolia and even Carthage. Now she was here being initiated as an amazon in front of everyone. She would never return home now, she knew that. She belonged to these people now and somehow she really liked belonging to something meaningful.

Throughout this year she felt she had learned a lot about herself and about other people. She now understood why Xena thought she was a naive little teenager, because she was, but now, she felt that she wasn't the same naive girl she once was. Gabrielle knew that her family missed her dearly but she finally felt that her life was worth living and it wasn't chaotic for once, not when she was with Xena. Though, she cared for Xena, she realized that Xena was a wild card and definitely a lost soul.

Queen Melosa gave her sword to a fellow amazon sister then placed a decorative headdress on Gabrielle's head. She smiled and everyone cheered, shocking Gabrielle, causing her cheeks to redden with all the attention focused on her. For once, she received all the attention and before she was just a shadow, now she belonged somewhere, to something and to people who cared for her. She felt arms embrace her from behind and she stumbled forward. Alexa hugged her tightly and Gabrielle smiled, holding onto her hand warmly.

Later in the evening the entire amazonian community celebrated with wine and everyone surrounded multiple campfires after Gabrielle's coronation. Gaila and the other girls who babysat Solan had to go to sleep and miss out on all the festivities as they were too young. Solan was watched by a teenage amazon named Hella, and she was always good with the young children in the amazon camp so she was definitely a trusted person to watch over him for the evening.

Alexa walked over to Gabrielle as she sat alone next to the large bonfire and she gave her a chalice of wine. Gabrielle took the wine and smiled as the brunette amazon sat very close to her. "You're one of us now, Gabrielle!" she hugged her again for the zillionth time. "You must be excited."

Gabrielle smirked, "I am overwhelmed to be honest," she sipped on the wine and it was unlike the wine that she had with Xena. It was sweeter and even...herby?

"I can tell," Alexa nodded and drank the wine graciously, enjoying every sip of the sweet drink. "Gabrielle, we are friends, right?"

The blonde furrowed her eyebrows thinking that was such an odd question. "Of course we're friends."

Alexa looked into her green eyes and smiled nervously, "you can tell me if anything is bothering you, I hope you know that," she placed her hand on Gabrielle's thigh and the blonde looked down, a bit cautious of her friendly nature but smiled in response.

"Thank you Alexa. It's nice to have someone like you around," she stared into Alexa's dark brown eyes and saw her face still and Gabrielle's smile faded, unsure why she felt the way she did around Alexa all of a sudden. She thought it was just the wine, but she barely had a sip of it.

Alexa leaned in slowly and Gabrielle sat frozen then the amazon smiled, feeling Gabrielle's nerves radiating off of her, she kissed her cheek softly. She then stared into Gabrielle's green bemused eyes and grinned. "If you need anything, I'll be here for you," she pat her knee breaking the ice. Gabrielle nodded her head as a late response and felt her cheeks radiating heat as Alexa's lips grazed her cheek lightly a few moments ago.

The brunette amazon stood up abruptly, "I'm going to get some food, do you want something?" she grinned. Gabrielle looked up at her with the same shocked expression and shook her head, politely declining. Once Alexa left Gabrielle wondered if Alexa wanted more than to be friends by that look in her eyes or perhaps she was just imagining things?

She touched her cheek then thought of Xena. She had kissed her once too, but that was not the same. Their lips touched and that was definitely an odd sensation that she hadn't forgotten but she had it in the back of her mind until Alexa leaned in close then decided to kiss her cheek instead. Gabrielle couldn't decide if she liked that feeling or maybe she just wasn't used to it and didn't know how to respond to it? she didn't understand it and this was the third time. Even Princess Dido had become very friendly towards her and she couldn't deny her, but her memory of Xena always came her mind. She knew she was alive and Alexa's sudden intimacy had shocked her, but it wasn't the same, not with Xena. She would always be Xena's little blonde mouse and truth be told, she missed being called that sometimes.