Joan stood just inside Trollmarket's exit tunnel. Nomura tried to convince her not to do this. Hours they argued. The suggestion to ask Claire for help came up, and Joan had no doubt the other girl would help if asked. But it didn't feel right.

This is my family! Joan stepped into the cold morning light and squinted. It's been forever since I went outside. Two or three evening excursions with Claire didn't compare to going out alone. I can't remember the last time I did this…

Joan walked a few empty streets. Before she went to Trollmarket, she wandered almost every day to avoid going home.

She navigated the familiar Jersey slums. Right now, no one was out. Gang members went home an hour or two before dawn, and the homeless were still asleep. This was the most peace a place like this could have.

Joan tapped her shoe on the concrete. And there's a whole other world just under our feet… They're poor too – homeless – or, they were. But they didn't fight about it. They built a new home, and that's kind of… inspiring. She rubbed her hands together in the crisp air as her breath clouded and vanished. And Blinky's nothing like Josh or the Punk Sharks leader. She snorted. Blinky got picked for actually doing some leading.

A cluster of sleeping men and women, bundled in old coats with newspapers stuffed down the front, huddled near an abandoned store-front. Bits of old magazines and paper cups rattled and tapped down the street.

Even Jim – their greatest warrior isn't scary. He's nice, and he doesn't like to hurt people. She dodged a pile of broken glass. And Nomura… Well… She's Nomura.

A familiar old apartment building greeted her when she rounded the corner. The worn, gray block was still ugly. The door squealed as Joan opened it and headed up the narrow stairs. When she found the right door, she dug out her house key. It clicked into the lock.

"Mom?" she called as she peaked inside. "Mom, are you home?" She stepped onto the cheap carpet. "It's… it's me. I–"

"Joan?!" From the kitchen ran her mother, makeup smeared, hair a mess. "Joan, you – you–Where you been?!" she sobbed. "You have any idea what we've been through? We thought you were dead – that we'd find you in an alley somewhere!"

"I – I'm sorry." Joan swallowed hard. "I couldn't come home. Josh… He…"

"He said you'd gone over to the Proud Hogs," said her mother. "That where you been? With them?"

"What? No!" Joan replied. "I've been… at a friend's place."

Her mother thought for a second. "What friend?"

"Erhm…" Joan fiddled with her fingers. "Nomura. She's… a music teacher."

"Music teacher?" Her mother's eyes narrowed. "Where'd you meet a music teacher?"

"I – I hung out with some people at the theater – at centrum. And… we talked music and stuff, and…" She tried to calm the anxiety that twisted her stomach. "Mom? Are you doing okay? How're Chris and David?"

"Fine." Her mother snorted. "You should apologize to them."

"Yeah. I'll do that," Joan said.

"And Josh."

"What?" Joan crossed her arms and sneered. "You're still seeing that scumbag?"

"Don't you talk about him that way," her mother hissed.

"He's horrible!" Joan insisted. "And no, I'm not apologizing to him. Are you crazy? He tried to kill me!"

"You're overreacting."

"No, I'm not! Do I mean so little that you'd choose him over me?"

"What're you saying?" her mother demanded.

"I'm saying… as long as Josh is here, I won't be."

Her mother stared.

"He's a deadbeat! And he's dragging everyone else down with him! Why do you keep hanging out with people like that?"

"What do you know 'bout what I had to go through?" her mother challenged.

"Plenty," Joan retorted. "You never shut up about it. And yet you keep hiding behind awful men. You're so pathetic! Take some responsibility for once. Why do I always have to get dragged into your messes?"

"You have a better idea?" her mother leaned close, anger in her face.

"Yeah. I'm going to live my own life, thank you," Joan replied as she held her mother's glare. "I won't end up like you. I'm going to become something!"

"And what's that?"

"Someone who doesn't have to spend every day in misery because she didn't have the backbone to do something!" Joan shouted.

Stunned silence fell as Joan and her mother stared at each other.

Joan took a deep breath. "I – I just wanted to see you, Chris and David. I'll leave after I see my brothers. Then you won't have to bother with me ever again."

"You're leaving? Where you gonna go?"

"Anywhere's better than here," Joan muttered. "Even the street. At least it isn't a prison. Out there I can do what I want."

Her mother tried to hide a nervous gulp as Joan headed for the door. "Wait! Can't you at least stay for dinner? You wanted to see your brothers, right?"

Joan stopped. "Is Josh coming?"

Her mother shook her head. "He's outta town."

Joan tilted her head in thought. "Okay, fine. But after I get to talk to Chris and David I'm out of here. And I'm not coming back until Josh is gone."

Her mother nodded. "I see."

Nomura hissed into the quiet keep. No matter what position she chose, her bed was uncomfortable. Joan wasn't safe on the surface with those people, but there was nothing Nomura could do about it. By now, the sun was long up. She never liked her human form – too soft, too high maintenance, too weak. But now she wanted it one more time – just long enough to walk on the surface for a few hours.

Most trolls would never consider taking human form. Their world was tunnels and caves, and they rode underground highways that spanned the globe. There was no need to go above ground.

But Nomura had to get attached. She groaned at the wall clock. Eleven A.M. She flopped back onto the bed. It felt like days since Joan left. How was it not even noon yet?

"Chris!" Joan cried as she hugged her older brother.

"Man, don't scare me like that!" said Chris. "I thought some coppa shot you."

"Of course not." Joan pulled away. "I'm fine."

"That's good. Josh and the others were sayin' some monster attacked all a you. Sounded crazy," said Chris.

Joan groaned. Her brother wasn't a bad person, but it annoyed her that he would join Josh's gang.

"Were they high or something?" Chris said. "A pink monster with glowing eyes? Really?"

Joan remembered her promise to Blinky – not to tell anyone about trolls. "Sure sounds like they were high."

"So, what really happened?" Chris asked.

"I was fed up. That's what happened," Joan said. "I'm done. I won't be a part of this anymore."

"You can't say that!" Christ protested. "If you aren't part of this, then who's going to protect you?"

"I'll protect myself," she replied, to her brother's surprise.

"That… doesn't sound like you at all," said Chris.

"That's because… I made my decision." Joan gave her brother a firm look. "We don't have to be part of this, Chris. It's not leading to anything good. What're you going to do? Spend your whole life in a gang? Waste away, getting high and going to prison until you're old? Then what? Does that sound like a life to you?"

"What else can I do?" Chris said.

"You're smart. You can do so much better. It doesn't have to be this way. We can have whatever we make for ourselves."

Chris gave her a long look, then with a groan, turned away. "You want to go? Fine. You'll come back, eventually. That's all right though. I'll protect you like always. That's what I'm here for, you know."

He doesn't believe me… Her heart ached to know she really wouldn't be coming back. The longer she talked, the surer she became. Going away for good was the best thing she could do for herself.

She fought back tears. Even if it hurt, she had to stick to her decision and go.

This chapter has been editted by Dtill359