A Heart's Recompense
Chapter 25
It wasn't until Sesshoumaru took his son from Kagome's arms that he remembered the state of her clothes. Miroku shrugged out of his borrowed jacket and handed it to her.
"I would appreciate you returning this to Touga's driver for me. I'm afraid I will be tied up with paperwork for some time."
He kept his eyes on Sesshoumaru until the miko had buttoned the jacket and began rolling up the sleeves. Yes he had been most tempted to look at the miko's exposed body. She was, after all, a beautiful woman. The temptation was short lived, and the decision an easy one. He was quite fond of his head where it was, thank you. On his shoulders. Where it would not have been for long if his friend had caught him looking. Self-preservation was definitely the order of the day.
Kagome thanked Miroku for his kind gesture and followed Sesshoumaru to the car where a driver was waiting to take them back to the Taisho mansion. Sesshoumaru helped her into the car and settled Kazuki into her lap once he got in.
Exhaustion quickly took hold and in moments both mother and son were sleeping. It gave Sesshoumaru much needed time to think. Kazuki was safe. Now he needed a plan of action to set things right with the woman he loved. The woman he had never stopped loving. He had so much to make up for. An apology was not sufficient. Not for what he had done to her. Could she ever forgive him?
He remembered Kagome's tendency to sleep soundly and took advantage of it, wrapping his arms around her and their son. He pulled them close and tucked her head under his chin. His family was safe and all was right with his world. He would indulge the illusion. At least until they got back to the house.
Kagome woke up to Sesshoumaru's gentle nudge.
"Wake up. We're here."
She shook the sleep from her brain and sat up, careful not to disturb her sleeping son. She had fallen asleep with him cuddled close in her arms. Looking around, she turned confused eyes to Sesshoumaru.
"This is my building. I thought we were going to Touga's."
"Father called while you were sleeping. The media got wind of Kazuki's kidnapping. Reporters and news trucks are camped out in front of the house. Since a never before heard of heir to the Taisho line is sensational news, I'm sure that my penthouse is being watched too. So…"
"So you brought us here. Good thing the driver parked in the back. Even in this building a limo kind of stands out. Let's go in before somebody notices."
He opened her door and she handed Kazuki to him while he helped her out. It was still early morning so no one saw them as they entered her apartment. Kagome closed the door behind them and led Sesshoumaru down the hall. Turning on the light, she directed him to Kaziki's bed. Sesshoumaru laid him down gently and pulled the blanket over him. He gently stroked his son's head before standing and following Kagome to the kitchen.
She opened the cabinet and brought out two cups. She indicated he should sit down as she placed the cups on the table.
"I guess we need to talk. I'll make some tea."
He sat down. And folded his hands on the table in front of him.
"Yes. We do need to talk. Are you sure you don't want to wait until you've had some rest? You haven't had any sleep since Kazuki was taken."
She put the kettle on and busied herself with a plate of snacks.
"I'd rather get this over with if you don't mind. I'll sleep better once everything is settled."
His eyes bored holes in her back as she went about her self appointed tasks without turning around.
"As you wish."
Kagome was nervous and used the activity to try to still her shaking hands. She thought about what she wanted to say. And what she thought he would say. He knew about Kazuki now. There was no going back. Would he really want to be in his son's life?
Also of concern was the media. They were aware of Kazuki's existence now. Once they found out where she lived and what she looked like, there would be no peace. She knew that as a fact. The Taisho family was important. Anything that had to do with them was news. And an illegitimate heir was big news. Could her life get any more complicated? She was soon reminded never to ask questions that you really didn't want the answers to.
Sesshoumaru waited until she had taken the seat across from him and poured their tea to begin.
"I would like you to consider returning to me."
Kagome froze at the last words she expected to hear. She'd thought they would be discussing Kazuki. Visitation, his training, plans for his education… not this.
He reached for her trembling hand as she set the teacup down.
"I find that I have missed you."
She closed her eyes as old feelings rose to the surface. She couldn't afford to fall into that trap. Two years had passed. She had worked hard to put her feelings for him behind her and move on with her life. She wasn't ready to go backward. But remembering Touga's words, and realizing she had been stuck in one place, maybe she was ready to move forward again.
"Why?"
She had to know. Before she could even think about it, she had to know if he was only keeping up appearances for demon society and his father.
"My feelings for you have not changed. If not for the lie I was told, we would be mated by now."
"Would we?"
"Of course. It was always my intention. Once I knew about my son, it would have been done immediately."
"You seem certain I would have agreed."
"You loved me. You would not have said no."
"You are probably right. But… that was then. Everything has changed."
He needed to make concessions. She was unsure. Not surprising after the events of the past. She needed reassurances.
"Not everything. I still love you."
She pulled her hand back.
"It doesn't matter anymore."
"Of course it matters. I made a mistake, Kagome. Are you saying you will never forgive me?"
"A mistake? Is that what you call it? You threw me out of my home with nowhere to go. You fired me from a job I liked and left me with no way to make a living for myself and the baby I carried. You told every employer who called for a reference that I was a gold digging whore with no job skills. My family disowned me for disgracing them. I sold or gave away almost everything I owned. Except for what I was forced to leave behind when you evicted me. And it was all a simple mistake?"
She hadn't intended to subject him to two years worth of venting. But she felt better having gotten it off her chest. She sat back in her chair and tried to calm down. She was out of breath and her eyes were shimmering with tears.
"Hardly a 'simple' mistake. I take full responsibility for everything. I know I can't erase the last two years. Or the hurt that I caused you, whether directly or indirectly. I honestly thought you could go to your family. It never occurred to me that they would turn their backs on you. It would be unthinkable in demon society to disown a family member no matter what they had done. I was not aware of the references that were being given. I would have put a stop to it had I known. I never intended to keep you from finding another job. Seeing you at work would have been awkward for us both. I have dealt with the person responsible for the references given. He now understands his error."
She could just imagine how he dealt with the man. But after hearing one of those references, she couldn't feel sorry for the man who felt no remorse for ruining her reputation. So Sesshoumaru was not really responsible for her not finding a job. That was nice to know. It had hurt when she thought that the references were given by his order.
"I regret it all, Kagome. I should not have believed the lie. I should have given you a chance to explain. I should have scented the pup for myself. If I had, I would have known. I would change it all if I could. I can't. The past is gone. I am asking to make a future with you and my son. I want us to be a family. I want you to be my mate. To be by my side for the rest of my life. There is a lot to forgive. I know it will take time. Will you consider it? Will you give me a chance to make it up to you and Kazuki?"
"I… don't know. So much has happened. So much time has passed. I got used to being alone. Just me and Kazuki. I'm not sure I'm ready to change that."
"It's already changed. I plan to fulfill my responsibilities as Kazuki's father regardless of your decision on our personal situation. I want to be there for him every day. To raise him with you. Together. A family. The family we should have been all along."
"I'm tired. I don't want to think about this right now. I thought we would be discussing Kazuki."
"We are."
"You know what I mean. His education and training. A visitation schedule. His future."
"We are discussing his future. His future with his family. His whole family. I don't want to sit and dispassionately discuss visitation schedules as if we are divorced. We would have to be married before we can divorce."
Kagome rubbed her throbbing temples trying to ease the headache she now had to go with her exhaustion.
"I'll think about it. But later. Ok? We both made mistakes. We were both at fault. There was pain on both sides. It'll take a lot to overcome that. For both of us. I know that. The important thing is Kazuki. I will do whatever is best for him. He comes first."
"Agreed. But there is no reason why we can't be happy too."
He brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear with gentle fingers..
"We were once. We can be again."
She closed her eyes. His argument was convincing. Their time together had been special. They were happy. Could they be happy again? Was it possible?
Sesshoumaru frowned as his phone rang. He checked the display. His father. He would not interrupt his time alone with Kagome unless necessary.
"What is it, Father?"
He stood and walked into the living room. A quick search found the tv remote and he thumbed it on. He hung up the phone as he watched the reporter conducting her live interviews on the street in front of his office building.
One after another, although they were nothing more than conjecture and wild accusations, it was an indication of the whispers that would haunt them all. Secret heir? More like the hidden child of a mistress. A mistake. An accident. The result of a casual liaison with an unsuitable woman. The mother? Only a fling. A gold digger who failed in her attempt to coerce a powerful, wealthy demon into marriage. A bastard child. Could he even inherit? The names got uglier. Aimed equally at the mother and the child. He heard all he needed to. He turned it off and tossed the remote onto the table. His decision made.
"Our courtship is over. We will be mated tonight."
To be continued…