The silence was heavy as Auria sat her cup down, eyes haunted by a past that they didn't dare ask about. Steve practically felt his heart break at the expression on the young woman's face, the never ending ache of loss so strong that Steve had to restrain himself for reaching for Bucky to psychically remind himself that he was there. That his best friend was back by his side, alive once more, was an absolute miracle that Steve was aware of every single day. Who had Auria lost that it made her ache like that?
To say that Steve was startled by Natasha's apparent affection for Auria would be both an exaggeration and an understatement. He knew that Natasha had a great heart, capable of loyalty, bravery, and a strong love even if it was hidden. That she seemingly decided that she was going to take Auria under her wing and let her be one of the few people she looked out for was what surprised him. Now Natasha silently took the other woman's hand.
Auria froze, stiffening at the contact and Steve's skipped a beat. She stared at Natasha's slender fingers wrapped around her unresponsive ones as if she didn't know what was happening but then her grip tightened, her body relaxing into the touch. Steve's eyes lifted as the elevator doors slid open, the lack of warning from the Friday and the knowledge that only a few people had the security level access to his floor, and those few were the Avengers, meant that he was expecting the last member of the team in the tower that was not present. He was not expecting the angry expression on Bruce's face however, and the rare, and worrying, emotion made Steve straighten in alarm, instinctively reaching for his shield that was currently in his room and not by his side.
"Bruce?" Tony asked, dumbfounded by the way he strode towards them, taking charge of the room and commanding their attention before he even opened his mouth. And all of this from a middle aged scientist still in his pajamas and house shoes.
"No one woke me," Bruce told them, giving the entire room a disapproving look before his eyes fell on Auria, taking in the bruise growing on the side of her face from where she hit the floor, her bloody knuckles, and then Natasha's hand on her own. He softened at the sight, sighing as he crossed his arms.
"Are you alright?" Bruce asked Auria and she nodded, too stunned by his forceful entrance to try and respond. Bruce ran his hand through his hair sheepishly, looking back around the room as he realized everyone was staring at him in shock.
"Sorry everyone. But I think it would be best if we took care of her injuries, and let her try and get some rest," Bruce told them, sheepishly at first but then firmly.
"I'm not tired," Auria interjected and his brown eyes looked back at her with a stern look.
"I know, but Auria if any of my past experience relates to yours at all, you are probably in shock, and in pain. It would be best for you to tend to your needs rather than having them overwhelm you. You have just expended major amounts of injury, and forcing energy from your body will leave you drained," Bruce told her gently, and she frowned contemplatively as if she was reluctantly realizing he made sense.
"Do you think I could feel better quicker than usual then?" Auria asked him hopefully.
"I'm not even certain what happened, but in my opinion you should recover if you do not push yourself so soon after an episode," Bruce told her and she slumped back onto the couch.
"Fine, I'll try to get some more sleep. But I expect food in the morning," Auria grumbled. Tony grinned, lazily stretching as he stood.
"That can be arranged. If you get some sleep," he promised her with a wink, ruffling her hair on his way past. She glared at his back.
"You look like you need some more than me," Auria protested, and he flipped her off over his shoulder. A flash of white was her quick grin, falling quickly in exhaustion but it had been there. He paused next to the elevator, leaning against the wall to wait for Bruce.
"Are you comfortable here?" Natasha asked her as she stood, staring into her eyes to make sure she told her the truth. The direct look didn't unnerve Auria as it had others, and instead the intense interest made her smile.
"Yeah, Steve has good taste in couches," Auria promised her.
"I told you that I would take the couch. You can have my bed," Bucky interrupted, and Auria glared, not backing down as she met his forceful blue gaze.
"And if you hadn't ran away because you were scared of the kiss, than I would have told you that the offer is unnecessary," Auria told him through gritted teeth. Steve snapped around so fast that he almost fell off of his chair, turning to look at his friend with wide eyes. Bucky stiffened, leaning forward with a glare that Auria only returned, although the woman was blushing. Natasha looked between them with a small smirk before going linking her arm through Bruce's and leading him away.
"We'll leave you to it then," Natasha murmured, leaving the confused scientist into the elevator. She grabbed Tony's arm on the way, dragging him away before he could get his open mouth closed and moving and make things worse.
"Goodnight, Auria. Boys," Natasha called to them in amusement, and then the door was sliding closed and Steve was left with the pair staring intensely at each other. Steve looked in between them, uncomfortably shifting as he decided what he should do. Before the war if Steve had even heard a whiff of the smooth Bucky running away from a woman he would have been all over him, teasing him mercilessly, but these were very different times. And they might just both murder him if Steve even tried it. Steve cleared his throat, getting their attention and immediately regretting it as he became the recipient of two very annoyed and embarrassed gazes.
"I can sleep on the couch. Give you two some…" Steve trailed of, swallowing the word privacy as Bucky gave him a look that easily conveyed his urge to rip Steve's tongue out and/or detach his metal arm and beat him to death with it.
"No need," Auria replied coolly, giving Bucky a look that Steve couldn't decipher. If Bucky's bewildered expression was anything to go by neither could he, and Auria stood. Steve and Bucky immediately stood as well, and there was an uncomfortable moment as they all stared at each other before Auria grinned.
"Charming," she noted with a head tilt and Steve winked, tilting an imaginary cap and making her chuckle. For once Steve felt more confident than Bucky when it came to interacting with a pretty lady and Steve couldn't decide if it amused him to no end, or worried him.
"Fine, no matter what you decide, I'm bunking with Bucky. There will be a spare bed if you want it," Steve told her, giving Bucky a smug look as he told Auria goodnight and hurriedly headed towards the bedroom. Bucky's eyes narrowed before he darted after him.
"No you don't, Steven Rogers you punk, you are not stealing all of my pillows!" Bucky growled and Steve laughed, tumbling into the room before Bucky could stop him. They disappeared from view for a moment, loud thumps and swearing making Auria's eyebrows rise before it fell suspiciously silent. Auria hesitantly crept forward, peaking through the door to make sure no one had been murdered.
Steve had successfully beaten Bucky into the room and was wrapped up in the entire comforter like some kind of absurdly attractive burrito with a side of patriotism. On the floor. Bucky was smirking from atop the bed, propped up on both of the pillows.
"I call a truce," Steve offered, voice slightly muffled and Auria laughed as Bucky started pelting him with the pillows before leaping atop of him and tugging at the blanket, sending the blonde sprawling as he unraveled. Steve was retaliating when Auria went back into the living room, picking up the coffee mugs the others had left behind and taking them to the sink. She finished her own drink, content to sit in the kitchen and relax as she listened to the muttering from the bed room, intermittent with curses and laughter. It fell silent not to long after, and Auria wondered if she should just sleep on the couch so that she could have deniability in case a murder really had happened, but soon she was drooping over her cup and the thought of the grown men purposely leaving her an empty bed and her not using it made her upset.
She rinsed out her own cup and walked quietly over to the room, picking up her borrowed blanket and keeping her footsteps light in order to let them sleep. She slipped into room by the light of the kitchen, looking over to see that they had come to a compromise. Steve was closer to the wall, his back pressed against the wall as he slept on his side and using two pillows, although only one was in under his head. The other was being used for his legs. He was pressed up against Bucky comfortably, legs against his friends and his arms curled up between them, against his side. Auria had been worried they couldn't fit, but they didn't seem to have a problem accommodating each other, although she noted they had gotten an extra blanket so no one would steal the covers.
Bucky was on his back, his arms crossed in under his head and he was so still Auria immediately knew he was awake even though his breathing was deep and even, seemingly relaxed. Sure enough whenever she moved out of the doorway she saw his head tilt in her direction, eyes catching the light before they dimmed, leaving them in darkness. Auria felt her way to the bed left empty for her, trying not to feel too awkward and loud in the silence. She couldn't help but feel expectant, face heating as she remembered her brash words earlier in front of everyone. She never should have brought it up.
She sat down on the mattress, cringing as it made a noise that would have normally been unnoticeable. Now it felt louder and more startling than a gunshot, and she froze before forcing herself to lay down and act like she was unruffled. She couldn't relax however, muscles tensed as she curled up on her side, wrapping her arms around Steve's pillow and hugging it to her chest. It smelt like fabric softener and perhaps the clean soap smell that was Steve and it was comforting to know that he was right across the room, perfectly at ease with having her here. Was kind enough to give her his own bed even, not just tolerating her presence but going out of his way to make her feel welcome. Bucky on the other hand, was all sorts of unsettling, and the knowledge that he was right across the room left her frustrated, and not in the good way.
"I'm sorry," Auria blurted, burying her face into the pillow at how loud her words seemed in the quiet room. After a moment she felt rather than heard movement in the other bed as Bucky faced her.
"What do you have to be sorry for?" Bucky asked softly, his voice lowered in deference to his sleeping friend, and the compassionate intimate sound made her lift her head to look for him although she knew she wouldn't be able to see. She choked down a bitter sob at the question, knowing he wasn't asking for her dark history although she suddenly wanted to give him the entire list of her mistakes.
"I understand that you didn't want." Auria started, breaking before she could say me and quickly changing her mind, "To speak about what happened, and I should have respected that. Especially in front of your team."
The silence from across the room was the loudest thing Auria had ever heard as she laid in the dark and desperately hoped that he could forgive her and that they would never have to speak about it again. He had caught her hesitation though, of course, and he contemplated the casual way she was trying to speak, mind buzzing as he tried to figure out what she was really wanting to say.
"Then why did you?"
Auria swallowed thickly, rolling onto her back to stare blankly up at the dark ceiling in mortification. He couldn't simply say 'it's okay!' and move on with his life, of course not. That would be too easy and wouldn't torture the hell out of her.
"I don't know."
"Can I ask you a personal question?"
His hesitant question made her heart thump in her chest, stomach shifting nervously. She knew what he was going to ask, what they had all wanted to ask and she didn't know if she could answer.
"If I can ask you one," Auria decided against her better judgement and she heard him hesitate before taking a deep breath.
"Sounds fair to me, doll," Bucky told her and she smiled despite herself at the old-fashioned endearment.
"You asked first," Auria prompted, crossing her arms behind her head and unconsciously mimicking his earlier pose.
"Why aren't you with Max and the others?" Bucky asked her and she leaned up, startled. That wasn't what she thought he wanted to know and the question took her off guard. She answered without thinking about it, without censoring her words like she should have.
"Because they are better off without me, everyone is," Auria told him, clasping her hands over her mouth as soon as she words came out. First her body betrayed her and now her sense did as well, responding to him truthfully before she could decide if she should.
"That's not true," Bucky told her harshly and she snorted, laying back down and trying to calm her beating heart.
"You don't know anything about me," Auria told him, and this time he responded immediately, not having to take time to think of what he wanted to say.
"I know you're one of the bravest people I know and that you would do absolutely anything for them, that didn't take a genius to figure out, sweetheart."
At the strength of his conviction, Auria felt the tears well up again, something that was happening far too often around these people, but in the privacy of the darkness where no one would ever know that they had been shed, she let them silently slide down her cheeks.
"I'm bad for them, Bucky, no matter how much I don't want to be," Auria admitted softly, sharing the source of her private pain in her new life. She could never burden Max with the burden of knowing that she wasn't as content alone as she claimed, but Bucky simply listened.
"Is it because of the person you lost?" Bucky asked and Auria took a shaky breath, the question she had thought he was originally going to ask now hitting her hard after she had become emotional.
"No," she told him simply and he didn't pry, willing to let it drop if she was unwilling to talk about it but she continued after a moment, mind whirling with memories and feelings and things she wanted to say but didn't know how. She took a deep breath, "He was a fellow experiment."
She heard Bucky breathe in sharply but he didn't say anything. She could feel him staring in her direction however, attention focused on her and urging her to go on. He was listening.
"He wasn't an Elite like me, not even in my generation but when I started showing emotions that were not allowed, weren't beneficial to missions. Well, that's when I started seeing him around. At first it was just a glimpse while I was moved from the lab to the training yard, or to the cages. Then he would be involved with whatever my training was, not interacting with me but there. Soon we had to interact. I didn't know that they it was all on purpose, a test to see if I would become emotionally invested in another, even if it was someone I should have no reason to care about. He wasn't beneficial you see. Not even a little bit, actually a failure that would have been terminated if they hadn't found a new use for him. The experiment to purposely administer the appropriate dna to make him be able to camouflage his skin at will had failed, leaving him scarred and weak. I should have dismissed him as useless to my mission but instead I had started paying attention. To his small smile that was kind and so out of place in that hell. His brown eyes were so intelligent, always watching, and he loved the sun, would bask in it whenever we would be outside, ignoring everything around him like it wasn't important," Auria paused, caught up with remembering someone she had forced herself to try and forget. The floodgates were open, memories washing over her in a mixture of love and pain.
"What happened?" Bucky asked her gently, and she pressed her eyes closed, eyes burning.
"I failed the test. They killed him in front of me," Auria whispered, and the sound of Bucky abruptly standing made her open her eyes, his presence quickly moving to stand beside her bed. He kneeled beside it, carefully reaching for her and when he found her arm he trailed his fingers down her arm until he found her hand. Then he cupped it between both of his own, eyes trying to find her face in the darkness. Auria shivered in surprise, the path his fingers had taken tingling from the sensation of his skin against hers and she froze, wishing she could watch his actions, see his face.
"I know it doesn't change anything. But I am so sorry, Auria," Bucky told her passionately, and when she didn't pull her hand away he lifted it to his lips and gently kissed her knuckles, brushing the skin with his thumb. He nearly shook with the need to do more, to pull her back into his arms and hold her, let her know that she wasn't alone. Hug her again, like he was sure she had never been before. But he remembered the way she pulled away downstairs, his fear had made him reach out for her and she hadn't wanted him to touch her. Fairly so after he had kissed her and just left, but now he was so scared that he was going to push too far when she needed someone to be here. And so it surprised him when she lifted her other hand and laid it on top of his, sitting up to lean forward and rest her forehead on his shoulder.
He felt tears seep through his t-shirt but she didn't sob in his arms or even move closer so that he could hold her. Instead she just leaned against him for support, holding his hands holding hers as if she was helping him as well. Bucky closed his eyes, letting his head drop onto his shoulder and for the first time in a long time he didn't feel scared. There was no part of him that was screaming about hurting someone, or being hurt, or even not being good enough. Instead he was just here, in the moment, and he was doing just fine being himself with Auria when she needed him, even if he didn't know who that person was.
He laid his cheek on her shoulder, her skin soft in under his cheek as he pressed against the curve of her neck and smelled the scent of her, the familiar smells of his pine soap and some of the flowery shampoo he had accidentally used his first week here, and what he wanted to describe as just wind.
"Are you okay?" Auria asked him softly and he was surprised by the gentle touch of her hand as she tentatively stroked his hair, pausing for a moment before gaining confidence and running her fingers through it.
"I should be the one asking you that," Bucky objected, and she stilled at the sensation of his breath against her neck, lips ghosting across the skin, but she shook it off, remembering the way he had walked away earlier. Instead she focused on the way his thumb idly traced over her skin as if he didn't realize he was doing it. The cool metal was smooth and slid over her knuckles, making her heart speed up against her will. It seemed to be a grounding motion instead of a seductive one, a simple touch to remind him that she was there, just like the way he leaned into her. She wasn't the only one that needed someone, and she was sharply reminded of the way he hugged her in the lab at the sight of her bloody hands, holding onto her tightly surrounded by the remains of cages.
"I'll be fine," Auria told him, soothing him the way she had seen Max do the Flock's children. Although she was certain the urge to tighten her hold on his dark hair and pull his lips closer was all her own, and not one that would be particularly soothing. The sensation of the silky strands through her fingers was a novel one anyway, and she was once again torn between focusing and processing different sensations, his breath against her neck, his hand on her own, and the way his hair felt.
"I never should have kissed you," Bucky muttered and Auria froze, a backlash of pain and rejection making her go rigid. Bucky straightened in alarm, the peace from mere moments before shattered, and he reached for her face in a panic, gripping it between his hands and stroking her cheeks in apology.
"No, no, damn it, I didn't mean I regret it. God, I don't regret it," Bucky told her and she knotted her hands in her lap in confusion, the longing in his voice making her want to lean back into his warmth.
"I should never have kissed you when all I can offer is more pain, not when you deserve so much better than that," Bucky told her fervently, and she leaned away from his hold, his hands dropping away from her in disappointment.
"I think I'm the one who gets to decide who and what I want, James Barnes," Auria told him indignantly, and Bucky shushed her, pressing his finger to the approximation of her lips as he tried to listen for Steve. He managed to find them at least, only to have her nip at them in annoyance, making him snort.
God, she wished that she had light so that she could see him, or at least so he could see the glare he was now receiving.
"I know that," Bucky told her, but it was the same way she had heard Gazzy agree with Max before going ahead and blowing something up anyway.
"Obviously not. I don't know what kind of girls you were used to back in the day, Bucky Barnes, but I'm not willing to let anyone make my decisions. Not anymore," Auria told him firmly, lowering her voice so as not to wake up Steve and leaning forward so he could hear her.
"I can honestly say I've never met a dame like you," Bucky told her and she could hear the teasing tone in his voice. She sniffed, shaking her wings out and he shook his head even though she couldn't see him.
"Not talkin' bout the feathers," Bucky told her, and the way he said it made her warm on the inside, almost like when she had taken someone's power, but this didn't hurt although she couldn't contain it either. She found herself smiling goofily at him in the dark, and her hands had somehow found their way back to his.
"You're something special yourself, even if you are aggravate—", Auria told him, her words interrupted by a yawn that made her jaw pop. She rubbed her eyes in surprise, realizing that Bruce had been right. She really was exhausted.
"You need to get to sleep," Bucky told her firmly, shifting back on his heels and she reluctantly let go of his hand.
"Yeah, you should too since you haven't been to bed yet," Auria told him pointedly, remembering him being awake whenever Steve had woken her up.
"I couldn't sleep," Bucky told her shortly, but she wasn't going to put up with that when it was about her, and she had just told him her freaking tragic backstory. He was not going to pull the silent treatment. She grabbed for him as he stood, finding his wrist. She tugged him back towards her, not letting him leave and she felt him tense reflexively before he let her pull him, making him stumble forward. Unfortunately it was into her, and she let out a yelp of surprise as he half fell on top of her. Her wings fluttered instinctively as she toppled backwards, his arms shooting out to catch himself and he easily righted himself into a standing position.
"Sorry," Auria muttered from her position laying on the bed, and she heard him chuckled before he nudged her knee with his own.
"If you wanted me to stay you could've just asked," Bucky told her with a flirtatious drawl, and she could picture the wide grin and exaggerated wink that accompanied it.
"Shut up, Barnes," Auria told him, exceptionally grateful that he couldn't see how red she was. She was just a glutton for punishment and humiliation however and she found herself asking, "What did you mean earlier, that you wish you never kissed me?"
"I should have known that you've been through heartbreak before. You've already lost someone you've loved, you watched him die. You don't need me waltzing in and messin with you," Bucky told her softy. She could feel the heat of his leg against hers, and the way he towered over her, and that distracted her for a minute before she realized what he was saying.
"No, Bucky. I wasn't in love with him, I didn't even know what love was then, but I was already on missions and he was just out of the lab. He was only six."
This time Bucky couldn't stop himself from reaching out and pulling her up for a crushing hug, his heart being compressed in his chest so tightly he needed to psychically hold her for it to ease. Fortunately she slid her arms around him as well, this time understanding the embrace for what it was.
She was overwhelmed by the sheer empathy and care that he was showing her. She was wrapped in his arms, surrounded by his heat, and that should totally terrify her but all it did was give her the reassurance that he had her while she broke down. She held onto him tightly, and this time she had to bite back the sobs that shook her body.
He murmured words to her, apologies and platitudes against her hair as his hands rubbed circles on her back, one hand idly smoothing down the feathers that now bristled from her emotions. She didn't really register anything that was happening, too far gone for anything other than the novel sensation of comfort.
Her wing pressed into his hand in approval, body responding to the kind touch. They swayed together as she cried, stifling any noise against his shoulder. She didn't know how long he held her, rocking with her until she calmed down. Only when she got the sniffling under control, unable to find any more tears and with a growing headache behind her eyes, did she realize how tightly she was holding him. She loosened her grip, worrying about hurting him, but he didn't say a word, only lift his hands to wipe her tears away. His left hand was light against her skin, barely there as if he was worried that he would hurt her or about how she would react and so she tilted her head into the touch, sighing whenever he cradled her face and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead.
"Are you okay?" Bucky asked her, and she shook her head, mouth wobbling. She felt like she was going to break apart if he let her go, like she was so fragile that without his support she would shatter.
"I will be," Auria told him thickly.
"Do you. Would you like me to stay? Just sleep, so you aren't alone?" Bucky asked hesitantly and Auria contemplated the offer, considering what it would imply if she took him up on his offer. For just this once she wanted to hold onto the sensation of safety, of warmth, and someone caring about her but if he said he regretted it in the morning then it would only be worse when he was gone.
"Wouldn't Steve miss you?" Auria asked him, but she didn't let go.
"He'd understand. I couldn't sleep for a while, had to know he was there," Bucky admitted but Auria hesitated.
"Hmmpf. Yew can have 'em. He snores. Go ta sleep," Steve muttered still half a sleep, Bucky and Auria froze, eyes wide as they realized they had woken him up. And then Bucky snorted.
"I don't snore Rogers, but that's swell coming from you, punk. You used to sound like a chainsaw before that serum gotta hold of you," Bucky taunted his friend.
"Di' nah," Steve murmured, almost unconscious and Auria snickered at their bickering.
"Well, now that I don't have to steal you..." Auria whispered, and Bucky nodded, letting her go so that she could settle back onto Steve's bed.
"As long as you don't steal pillows. Or snore," Bucky grumbled as he stretched out on his side, carefully keeping distance between them. They didn't touch at all at first, tension thick as they settled into the mattress. She threw her blanket over him, offering to share.
"How would I know if I snored, I'm asleep," Auria told him, and he rolled his eyes.
"Fine, I'll tell you in the morning," Bucky told her and she grinned, hand reaching out to find his and he tilted his hand until he could lace their fingers together. After that it was easy for her to slide closer, pressing her head against his chest as he rolled on his side to face her. He threw his arm over her and tugged her closer, their legs twining beneath the blanket as if in an effort to get as close as possible.
She worried for a moment, that it would be too weird for him as she felt herself relax and her wings brushed against his arms but he only settled more firmly against her. She wasn't sure if she would go to sleep with him touching her, but her body had other ideas. Safe in his arms and in his warmth she immediately started nodding off.
"G'night," Auria told him, fighting to stay awake long enough to make sure that he didn't change his mind but he didn't seem to be going anywhere.
"Good night, Auria. See you in the morning."