TREY PARKER: THE MAN BEHIND THE MYTH

This week the name on the lips of every NBA fan around the country is Trey Parker: the kid already nicknamed 'Saviour' for the San Antonio Spurs. Parker's first game of the season sparked immediate interest when fans witnessed the newcomer dominating the offensive wing of their clash with the Memphis Grizzlies last week. However, the mysterious and sudden arrival of Parker, this coupled with the arrests of he and fellow team mate Jay Calhoon just 3 days ago for reckless public behaviour, have sparked great interest into the past of this athlete and now after much digging we bring you the full story.

"Trey Parker" was born Troy Bolton on April 5, 1987; making him 19 yrs old, not 23 yrs old as previously thought. Troy Bolton was the MVP and star captain of the East High Varsity team in his sophomore year, leading them to win the Championships that season. This reporter met up with one of Bolton/Parker's former classmate and friends, who wished to remain anonymous.

How would you describe Troy Bolton at East High?

Troy Bolton was like the East High heartthrob. Everyone wanted to be his friend and wanted to know what he was doing or dating. He was like a celebrity. Guys wanted to be him, and all the girls had crushes on him, whether or not they admitted it. Everyone thought he was perfect. He had good grades, he was athletic, he had an amazing voice and starred in the school musical with his sweetheart Gabriella (a very close personal friend of mine).

So how did that Troy Bolton end up on the streets of San Antonio?

I can only speak for the time he spent here: after he left no one knew where he was or what he was doing. The whole thing began slowly. He started acting weird; he was very quiet and distanced himself from everyone. He started hanging out with a really rough crowd of hoods instead of Gabriella, and us, so they broke up. I think he took that pretty hard because after that we really didn't see him much. He came to school, because his dad works there so he had to, but he always disappeared during recess and lunch. He started chain-smoking anything that he could get his hands on and would turn up at school drunk or on some type of drug or another. He became a greaser. We would hear stories of him being hauled into police stations all across town and coming home with multiple hookers in the early hours of the morning. He had a really bad problem with self-harm and used to cut himself really badly. One afternoon he was found on the school roof unconscious after cutting his veins and taking an overdose. He survived, obviously, but his brain had blocked all his memories and he couldn't even recognise his own family- except for one girl, the new girl in our class, Emma Wiltshire. About 2 months after that, he disappeared. And no one saw him until the Spurs game last week.

Anything you would like to say to Bolton/Parker should he be reading this article?

Yes. Just that he never thought of anyone but himself, and he never thought of the consequences and affects that his actions had on others. Bolton, you maybe the Spurs' new golden boy, but you're weakness of character is reflected in current lives of those you left behind. I hope you realise that.

So there is the full scope on the San Antonio Spurs' newest player. It seems his reckless attitude has already worn off on fellow teammate Jay Calhoon, but let's hope Coach Scott Burns can keep him in check before he corrupts the rest of his team. (Interview by Robert Dench).

As Troy sat in the East high cafeteria that lunchtime, he couldn't shake the somewhat dark and depressed mood that was nagging him. Looking at the students around him, Troy couldn't help but feel envious of them. Troy knew that everyone had problems, but watching them all casually eating their lunch, he couldn't help but be angry that their lives were so much less complicated than his own. I mean, in a few short months they would graduate high school with their friends, just like planned, whereas he had spent the time living on the street. How does God choose who gets what hand dealt to them?

He saw Emma walking over to him, and he couldn't help the huge grin that appeared on his face. But he began to worry when she didn't return it. She came up to him and sat down next to him, staring out at the rest of the EHS cafeteria below. There was a short silence before Emma spoke.

"Troy, I have something to show you… and well… you're not going to like it." She gave him a worried look. Troy gave her a curious look before she handed over a copy of the newspaper to him. There on the front page was a picture of him, and the breath was sharply sucked out of his chest as he began to read the article.

Troy's blood was boiling. He stood up, grabbed the paper and marched over to the table where his old gang was sitting.

"ALRIGHT THEN CONFESS! WHICH ONE OF YOU LITTLE WEASELS DID IT?!"

"Did what Troy? What are you talking about?" Chad asked. Troy answered him by slamming the paper down on the desk. He gave them a few seconds to recognise the article, which they had all seen that morning.

"So, who did it?" Troy watched them all squirm and look guilty. He knew it was one of them, because only they knew that much information about him, and he knew they all knew which of them did it. But none of them spoke.

"I'll say it one more time. Who did it?" Troy said in a dangerously low voice. Still none of them spoke so Emma attempted to calm Troy down.

"Um Troy, look... I'm not condoning what happened… but it really doesn't matter now… the damage is done." Troy stared them all down for another few seconds until the bell went for the second half of lunch. He knew the Wildcats had to get to the gym for practice, as did he - that was, if he still had a team to play on. Slowly the gang got up from their chairs, treating Troy as though he was a ticking time bomb, and filed out headed for the gym (the boys to train, the girls to watch). Troy watched them leave. The friends he used to know could never have done something like this. But then, as Emma said, we all change as we grow. But not always for the better. Emma had a music assessment next period, so Troy told her to go practice because he needed to train anyway, but she wanted to walk him to the gym. When they arrived at the doors, Emma noticed Troy made no attempt to pass through them. Instead he stared at them as though they held all the intricate secrets of the universe.

"Are you afraid they will ask you about it?" Emma asked.

"Or maybe that they won't. I don't know what's worse… But it's not the team I'm worried about: I can handle them. It's the suits." Emma gave him a curious look. "The people who own and manage the Spurs, they don't care about the game, it's all about the image. I could lose everything over this. And those who are going to take it away, could be waiting on the other side of this door." Emma nodded and squeezed his hand. He kissed her cheek goodbye and she left as he entered the gym.

Upon entering the EHS gym, Troy immediately knew something was wrong by the quiet behaviour of his team. Looking past them, Troy saw 4 'suits', dressed appropriately in suits awaiting him. When the sound of the doors was heard, the attention of all spurs, wildcats and spectators turned immediately to him. At that moment, Troy wished he were invisible.

"PARKER / BOLTON." One of the suits yelled and indicated for him to enter Jack's office, unfortunately on the other side of the gym.

People often talk about "last looks." The look you get from people when they think it may be the last time they see you, as though you're facing death. Well on that walk across the court, Troy began collecting them. In one sense it was the longest distance Troy had ever walked, each second lasting for eternity as all eyes followed his footsteps. In another sense, that walk was not long enough, as only to soon was he in that office, with the four suits plus Scott and Jack, wishing he would wake up from his nightmare.

"Trey, or Troy rather, we have brought your father in here as you are not legally an adult despite previous misconceptions." Troy didn't even look over at Jack; he just nodded. "Well in short Troy, we on the management board are shocked at the recent revelations about your past and character which were revealed publicly just this morning. Despite your extensive criminal record and doubtful beginning we continued to blindly support Coach Burns' decision to keep you, even so much as celebrating your arrival at the convincing victory of last week's game, and then something like this happens. This is not the kind of publicity that this team, and this sport needs. Even overlooking this morning's article, you were arrested earlier this week, and you dragged Mr. Calhoon down with you-"

"Actually Sir there is no evidence that it was Troy's fault-" Coach Burns interrupted, but was silenced again by the suit.

"Regardless, the fact remains that this team did not face these kinds of issues previous to your orientation. Do you understand what I am saying?" He asked Troy.

"Yes Sir. I am sorry Sir." Troy said quietly.

"Yes well. What is left is to decide what to do about it. As for right now, most of the board members are at a conference in Ohio so consider yourself on probation. The board will meet early next week to discuss whether or not to terminate your current contract. Any questions?"

"No Sir."

"Then our business here is done. We will be in contact." With that the four suits exited the office, and the gym, and Troy, Jack and Scott were left in silence. For almost 5 minutes no words we said, each was caught up in their own thoughts, attempting to allow the information sink in. Finally Jack spoke.

"Troy-"

"Don't. Just don't." Troy said before getting up and walking back out into the main gym area. However Jack followed him.

"Troy! Come on-" Troy spun around as Jack stopped in his tracks a few meters away.

"WHAT DAD?! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! WANT TO REMIND ME HOW I FAILED YOU AGAIN?! OR HOW MUCH A SCREW UP I AM?! OR MAYBE YOU WANNA DISOWN ME AGAIN?? WHY THE HELL NOT YOU SEEMED TO ENJOY IT LAST TIME!!"

"Troy-" Jack attempted again.

"Whatever." Was all Troy said as he walked out the double fire doors and sat down on the steps outside. One of the Spurs' tried to go over to him, but Jay stopped them. Jay knew Troy needed time to cool off first. The whole gym was trapped in a silence – one of those silences that seems so loud that you know you'll go crazy if it continues any longer. Coach Burns decided to break it by setting the Spurs to work. He sent the Wildcats to join in as Jack had returned to the sanctuary of his office.

Troy sat on the steps outside, staring out at the EHS grounds, but seeing nothing. He knew without the Spurs he had nothing, and the thought terrified him. But yet he couldn't cry or breakdown, because it was all such a shock. Last time, his safe reality had slowly slipped away like sand through his fingers. This time, it was snatched away in an instant. The thought of having to relive his past days on the streets threatened to overwhelm him and drown him in fear. He knew he would rather die than live like that. He wasn't even sure that he still had enough strength left to be a greaser: he no longer held that will to keep pushing.

After about 20 minutes the teams had a break. Jay tentatively walked out onto the steps and put his hand on Troy's shoulder.

"You ok buddy?"

"It's proby now." (A proby is like a derogatory nickname for someone on probation).

"Need anything?" Troy just shook his head. But as Jay turned to walk away, he spoke again.

"Hey Jay. There's a Wildcat in there named Jason. Will ya get him for me?"

"Sure." Jay turned and walked back into the gym and over to where the wildcats were sitting on their break.

"Hey is one of you Jason?" All heads turned towards Jason, and he looked a little freaked as he nodded at Jay. "Troy asked for you." Jason looked really confused, but after an encouraging look from Kelsie, he walked over to where Troy was and slowly sat down beside him.

The two sat in silence for a short while as Jason waited for Troy to speak, not wanting to push him. Finally Troy spoke.

"I know it wasn't you who ratted on me." Jason said nothing, waiting for Troy to continue. "And I didn't ask you over to make you rat on your friends." Jason sat in the silence for a moment before speaking.

"Then why did you want me?" Jason continued to mirror Troy's action of staring out at the grounds, feeling as though Troy's emotions would be written so deeply on his face that to look at him would be an aggressive act against his privacy. Or maybe he was too scared to face the hurt he thought he would find there, etched into all of Troy's features. But it made no difference. Troy shrugged.

"Guess I just needed a friend." Again the two sat in silence, both just absorbing and appreciating the fact that despite everything, they were ok with each other. They both just kinda knew they always would be. Sometimes it's those people who you seem to have little in common with that make the best friends. Like they know they don't understand and can't help, so they just give the support of a stable connection. This was what they had.

When Troy spoke again, his voice was quiet and unsure. For Jason, it was one of those moments when you realise something that you've never seen before, but was in front of you all along. The truth was that since he had returned, Jason had always thought of Troy as older than him, and therefore stronger. But after hearing his voice, it suddenly dawned on Jason that despite everything, Troy, like Jason, was still just a kid. It's like those moments when you see adults like your parents cry, and everything you had built up comes crumbling down as you witness first hand the fragility of all human kind, even those who seem unshakable.

"Y'know there's a guy on my team called Michael. Aced high school and gets a full scholarship to play college ball. He graduated with honours and immediately gets contracted… I dropped out of high school and lived on the streets under a fake ID. By chance the guy who finds me near-dead on a park bench is Coach Burns and I end up playing one spectacular game, before being sent right back to the streets… Who decides that? Who chooses who gets what?" Jason listened and thought before he spoke.

"If my dad were here, he'd say God."

"What would you're dad say to a barely 19 year old kid who is about to knowingly be sent back to the streets by an organization of suits?"

"He would say that God had some plan in place that we just couldn't see yet." Troy said nothing for a few minutes. Before giving a sad laugh.

"I wish I had that. Faith – or whatever it is… But if God exists, I must be his cruel joke." Just after he said this the bell went. Jason had to go to his assessment, and Troy knew this. Troy nodded at him, both an indication to leave and a silent thankyou. Jason walked back into the gym and left. All to soon the gym was quiet as Troy continued to stare out into nothing. The sound of footsteps shook him from his thoughts, as he noticed Jack sit down next to him on the steps, offering him a cigarette. They lit up and sat in silence for a few minutes, until Jack spoke…

Hey guys. So sorry this took forever but life has been sooooo hectic and tiring but I promise this is the first of a quick succession of updates in an attempt to make it up to you guys! Sorry it's kinda shit I usually rewrite parts of chaps but I wanna post this for you tonight.

Next chappie:

Troy and Jack…

Troy and Emma…

Confession from the interviewee of the article…