Confessions of A Gold-Digger
#24. Elena Says Stupid Shit. Again.
"Ciaossu, Dame-Elena," I heard that the moment I opened my eyes. Ugh.
"What are you doing here, Reborn?" I sat up straight on my bed. The asshole baby was sitting on one of the window sills of my hotel room. "How are you here in Varia territory? Here to rescue me?"
"So you're no longer brainwashed and it seems that your flames are permanently claimed," Reborn sounded almost pleased and then he answered my questions. "I'm the strongest hitman in the world. I can go wherever I want. Also, I'm not here to rescue you, you stupid damsel-in-distress."
"Of course, why would you ever do the right thing?" I sighed. "You enjoy when I suffer."
"Yes," Reborn agreed. "Also, the longer you stay here, the harder Dame-Tsuna trains. You should get kidnapped more often. Maybe, even tortured."
The sad thing was that I didn't know if he was joking. Sadistic bastard.
"Why are you here then, Satan?" I snapped. I was too sore and tired to push the asshole about the window.
"I need you to contact Rokudo Mukuro. I want him to be Dame-Tsuna's Mist Guardian," Reborn said. It took me a few moments to process that.
"Contact him? How? And why are you involving me? Surely there are better ways to-" I started, feeling confused.
"I need to affirm his loyalty to Dame-Tsuna and you're the best way to get that done," Reborn said. "The ugly pineapple necklace you're wearing is a direct way to contact him. I can't believe you didn't notice that it's doused with his Mist flames. Typical of Dame-Elena to not notice that she's being watched over."
"What?! Mukuro's spying on me? That asshole. Why can't he be a cute, normal descendant-" My rant was stopped by one glare from Reborn.
"He's not spying on you. The necklace just informs him when you're in danger," Reborn pointed his gun at me. "Now call for him."
"You could've just said 'please," I snapped. I closed my eyes and called out for my lunatic, not-cute descendant.
"Elena, what-" I opened my eyes the moment I heard Mukuro's voice. His heterochromatic eyes focussed on Reborn and glared. "What are you doing here, Arcobaleno?"
He was an illusion but damn, did I miss him. He looked just as psychotic as the last time I saw him and sight of him gave my heart the warm fuzzies.
"I'm here to proposition an offer," Reborn said. "I want you to be Tsuna's Mist Guardian."
"Kufufu," ugh, he had a laugh that only an ancestor could love, "You are hilarious, baby. What makes you think I'm gonna be some Mafia Don's bitch?"
"Why not?" Reborn asked carefully.
"I mean, Reborn, he kinda wants to burn the Mafia to ashes," I tried to explain the moron hitman. "Surely you didn't forget all the angst and drama that happened in the last arc of this manga, right? You're getting old, Reborn, if you're forgetting shit like that."
"The idiot is right. Working for future monster king of the Mafia is not exactly on my bucket list," Mukuro glanced at me before going back to glaring at Reborn.
Reborn smirked and I shuddered when I saw him staring at me pointedly.
"What about your dear Elena?" Reborn asked, gesturing towards me. "Didn't you notice that her flames are already claimed? She's forever bound to the future monster king of the Mafia."
Mukuro's head snapped in my direction and his face darkened as he studied me carefully.
"What's more, she declared herself as a trophy of the Ring Conflict. If Dame-Tsuna loses, she's officially Xanxus' property. Now, imagine if we got another Mist.. Even winning one ring could make a difference," Reborn smirked, again. Bastard.
"YOU DID WHAT, ELENA-" I had never seen Mukuro so angry at me.
"I did what I wanted to do!" I yelled at back. I have dealt with enough shit about this. "Lambo is my child and if I need to burn the entire world to protect him so be it!"
Mukuro's eyes flared. "I am sick and tired of your bullshit, you fucking moron. You want to die! Do you know what the Mafia does to dumbasses like you? You're gonna die a dog's death-"
"Enough." Reborn's voice was as sharp as broken glass. "What's done is done. If you're not interested I'll find someone else."
Mukuro gave me one disgusted look before settling his angry eyes on Reborn. He quickly composed himself and gave Reborn a calm look.
"Kufufufu. Why not?" Mukuro crossed his arms and smirked. "It'll give me a better opportunity to control Vongola's body."
"As if you'll ever do that," Reborn smirked back. "She'll never forgive you if you do."
Mukuro's composure fell and he openly seethed.
"Go to Kokuyo Land and we'll discuss the details. I have a proxy in mind," Mukuro said coldly.
"Stay alive, Dame-Elena," Reborn tilted his fedora and jumped out of the windows.
"What the fuck are you doing, you moron?" Mukuro turned towards me, his fists turning white. "It's bad enough that Vongola claimed your flames but now you're a fucking trophy? Not only are you pulling back feminism to the Dark Ages… are you so eager to be Xanxus' whore?"
"You're never going to respect my choices, will you?" I closed my eyes. "No one ever listens to me. I wish you did.. because you're my family-"
"Elena, you are all the only humane thing I've allowed myself" I opened my eyes and looked up at Mukuro, "but I am sick of your bullshit. Don't contact me anymore. I'm going to have to fix the messy situation and I'll try to get you out of this kidnapping situation as soon as I can but I am extremely pissed off with you. Idiocy should have limits."
I got off my bed and snapped at him. "I didn't ask you to rescue me. I'm fine."
"Do you even think?" Mukuro demanded.
"I want to stay here. I'm not much use to the Vongola right now but there are things I need to figure out and people I need talk to," I said.
"What business could you possibly have with the Varia?" Mukuro demanded. "Haven't you done enough stupid enough things for a lifetime?"
"I've got news for you and Tsuna," I snapped, "I'm not your fucking real estate property and I don't have to answer anything."
"Elena-"
"I don't want to argue anymore," I stopped him. "Can you send your proxy over to me before the Mist Battle? I want to meet her."
My homegirl Chrome needed a self-confidence boost and who better than the amazing me to help her out?
"Whatever." Mukuro gave me an angry look before disappearing into thin air. What an un-cute descendant.
"We need to talk," I told Xanxus the moment I walked into his bedroom. The lazy ass spent 90% of his time on the bed, drinking.
"So you finally want to have sex?" He gave me a lazy smirk. "What's with that outfit?"
"Not slutty enough for you, asshole?" I demanded. I was no longer in those skimpy dresses he made me wear.
He pointed his gun at me.
"Behave, Barbie trash," Xanxus said, eyeing me intensely. "So the brainwash is off? Looks like the Sawada scum claimed your flames. How did he do it?
He sounded genuinely curious and I flushed at the thought of last night. If I spent more time with Xanxus... would Tsuna's flame get possessive, again? The thought thrilled me and there was nothing more my flames wanted.
"Well," I sat on a chair. "I'm not here to discuss about that. I'm here to demand a lot of things and talk about a lot of things. And you are going to 100% kill me before I'm done and that sucks."
"What do you want?" His gun was still pointed at me, as if challenging me to say something stupid.
Challenge accepted.
"For starters, I will smack you so hard that you're body will fly all the way to Paris if you treat me like some fucktoy again," I said with a straight face.
"Do you have a death wish, bitch?" His scars began appearing and he straightened.
"Kill me after I'm done, asshole," I said. My palms were sweaty because of what I was about to say next… "You don't want to be Vongola Decimo."
When I was studying Daemon Spade's betrayal I kept wondering Xanxus's motivation for the coup. It was unclear until I actually met him.
"What? You high, trash?" He demanded. If looks could kill, I would be a kebab.
"You used to live in the ghettos. You had a mentally ill mother and it's safe to say that your life wasn't ideal. That was until Nono adopted you. And then your life was perfect. You were spoilt rotten and your father loved you and then your brothers started dying and then you learnt that you weren't actually his son," I paused and looked up at Xanxus.
Big mistake.
Before I knew it, his hands were around my neck, almost choking me. His hot gun was on my abdomen and I could feel it burn me.
"Your death will be slow and painful," Xanxus hissed. I looked at him straight in the eye.
"You don't want to be Vongola Decimo. You already have the money, the power, the reputation.. Hell, being Vongola Decimo means more responsibility and less fun. You just have this need to prove yourself and you think having a fancy title will…" I swallowed. "You might be one of the deadliest men alive but you're terrified of being that scared little boy from the ghettos again which is stupid. You have a father who loves you unconditionally and men who would follow you to Hell. But you're throwing that all way to get something you don't even want. You already belong. You already have a home and the people who love you won't abandon you so stop this madness."
He pressed the barrel of his gun against my head and I closed my eyes. I heard the shot.
This is how it ends.
I opened my eyes when he let go of his choke hold of me. There was a hole on the wall next to me. What the hell..?
Our faces were just inches apart so I took the opportunity.
I headbutted Xanxus.
He took a few steps back with hand on his forehead and then stared at me incredulously.
"What the fuck-"
"That's for all those pervy comments!" I yelled.
"You are the most annoying piece of trash in the entire fucking world," Xanxus said as went back to his throne. "I hope to the Devil you marry that Sawada scum. There's no better way to torture him."
"Wait, aren't you going to kill me? I even wrote a will on the bathroom tissue paper. Lambo and I-Pin and Fuuta get all my stuff and Mukuro gets nothing because he is an asshole-" I was silenced with a glare from him.
"Barbie," Xanxus played with his drink, "why aren't you ever afraid? Did your mom drop you on the head too many times? You should shut up and stay on the sidelines. I have never met a more useless thing in my entire life."
Never afraid? I wouldn't say that. I was always terrified, especially when I was about to do something stupid.
"I killed myself," it always felt like I was swallowing acid whenever I acknowledged that, "I already took the coward's way out. I got a second chance because apparently the universe believes in second chances… Yes, I'm not the most beautiful or the most talented or the most smart girl alive but I have a voice. If I don't stand up for myself, if I don't share my thoughts and if I'm okay with being some side character in my own story- that's when I'll actually be an object. Am I stupid to confront you? No. I'm not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance."
Xanxus gulped his drink in one go.
"Dumbass, it's 'smartest'. Not most smart. No wonder you're failing your Language classes," Xanxus said and massaged his temples. "I can feel my IQ points melting off."
"Ugh. You ruin all my cool, sentimental monologues. Who would've thought you were a Grammar Nazi?" I made a face at him.
"What did you want anyway?" Xanxus asked.
"Well, I know you have Nono tied up somewhere and I wanted to talk to him," I said without thinking.
That was the main reason I wanted to stay with the Varia. I'd get some alone time with the most respected man in the Mafia. I mean the dude was kidnapped but.. whatever.
"How do you.." Xanxus squinted. "Never mind. I don't give a fuck. You're so stupid that logic can't be applied to you. Why do you want to meet the old man?"
"You see, I'm an aspiring gold-digger and I want him to you know.." I winked. "Match me up with some rich mafia bosses. The plan is to take care of the poor, kidnapped Nono so that he becomes eternally grateful to me and uses his connections to hitch me up with some M-O-N-E-Y." I sang the last part while bouncing my head.
"Why did I even ask?" Xanxus gave me a pungent look.
Step #25: Your voice matters.