The League of Super Evil Chapter 25: Shrek Flashback V
It all begun, years ago when Shrek lived back in his parent's swamp. He had a beloved brother named Shrack, and when I say beloved I mean hated. Shrack was awful to Shrek on a daily basis and always acted rude and crude to him. While Shrek was still very young, Shrack was already in High School when Shrek was in Pre-School.
Shrack was a big red ogre, much taller than Shrek. He had purple eyes, ear piercings and wore edgy eyeliner, and was one of the few last Red Ogres to live. Naturaly, as a Red Ogre he took an interest in his heritage and studied the way of the sword though his mother and step-father did not approve. However, Shrack always convinced her to allow him to continue his studies and practice of swordsmanship as a way to honor his late biological father. In fact, Shrack was the one who intitially told Shrek about the existence of the fabled Onionblade, though it was of his own spite and on accident.
Shrack would push Shrek aside and mock him. Their parents would always tell Shrack to be nice, but Shrack would push them off and never give them the time of day. He'd be ungrateful for all they did for him, unlike Shrekabelle. Shrekabelle was the middle sister of Shrek and Shrack. Shrekabelle greatly appreciated everything their parents had done for them, though she would eventually become rebellious due to conflicting views and eventual misuse of parental jurisdiction.
However, one day Shrek's life completely changed thanks to Shrack. It was Shrek's first day of first grade and Shrack was tasked with walking him home after school. Shrack had taken one of their parent's cars to drive up to the school. Shrek got in, asking him why he had taken the car despite their parents telling Shrack he wasn't allowed to drive after getting a speeding ticket. Shrack merely told Shrek to silence himself in a rude manor, then drove off. Halfway there Shrack had realized it was a Wednesday, which only meant that his mother would be home from work early. Shrack parked the cry and started bickering to himself and got worked up, being angry at himself and at his mother. With this, he decided to prolong his drive home much to Shrek's chagrin.
"We can't drive through that forest, it's dangerous in there! You can't just drive through it!" Shrek cried from the passenger's seat, wearing his seatbelt.
Shrack scolded him angrily, wearing no seatbelt. "Shut up, we live in a swamp; that's no better than living in a forest. And what do you know about driving? This is a shortcut."
"I know more than you!" Shrek snapped back, holding up his arms for defense. "You're not even using the turn-y stick thing!"
Shrack saved himself the trouble of hitting Shrek because he knew Shrek would just tell on him and because he didn't want to have to put up with Shrek in the car. Ignoring his brother, he shifted gears and started moving forward into the forest. They hit a few bumps as they passed along the muddy trails of the forest.
After a few moments, the forest suddenly grew dark and mysterious. There was nothing but darkness as far as the eye could see.
"What's happening?" Shrek yelled.
"How the hell would I know?" Shrack scolded.
Shrack swung the car door open and ran out, gazing around but all he could see was the car and nothing but black everywhere else. An image of a triangle appeared in the distance and it lit up as a laugh echoed throughout the area. Shrack suddenly started falling, downward and downward.
Shrack was suddenly grabbed by two arms that held him up and brought him to gaze up at a giant, lone eye. It illuminated a figure around him that had the apperance of a giant triangle.
"Shrek? Shrek where are you!" Shrack shouted.
The eye suddenly had a mouth that opened and laughed, scaring Shrack shitless.
"Sorry to barge in like this, but I have to ask you if you're willing to exchange favors..."
Shrack woke up immediately the next morning. He saw his family surrounding him, worried if he was oky or not.
"What happened?" Shrack said, sitting up in his bed.
"You suddenly passed out in the car..." Shrek said. "The car shot forward for some reason. I jumped out of it but you wouldn't wake up..."
Shrack immediately got out of bed and walked away.
"Where do you think you're going?" inquired Momma Shrek in an upset tone.
Shrack ignored her and walked away.
From that day forward, Shrack became quiet, though he was still a delinquent. He frequently left the house at night when not allowed and never spent any time with anyone besides himself. Or did he?
Shrek followed Shrack one day. He saw him return to the forest where the crash happened. Shrek carefully trailed Shrack in, watching him return to the part where he crashed. A glowing triangular figure appeared. Shrek carefully watched from afar, listening in on them.
"You can never go back from here. Are you okay with that?" asked the triangle.
"Yes. I'm ready for this," Shrack replied. "You're keeping your end of the deal, right?"
"Yes, I've already told you. Once everything's said and done, the Onionblade shall finally be returned to and passed down onto the next generation, duh," the triangle said.
"Okay, but you better not be double-crossing me, Bill," Shrack said.
"Why would I?" the triangle-Bill-asked. He snapped his fingers as a portal opened up. Shrek couldn't make out what was on the other side.
"Thanks Bill," Shrack said in a voice that seemed rather unsure as well as solemn. He stepped into the portal and Shrek knew right then he'd never see him again.
The portal instantly closed as Bill laughed. "No more Red Ogres now," Bill laughed. "Too bad he was so painfully unaware of me. Didn't his daddy pass on the warnings of the unholy triangle? That was almost too easy. Ah well, maybe I'll wipe out Blue Ogres sometime, but that Drek entity would kill me. Green Ogres are innocent enough to live. For now, at least."
The triangle disappeared and Shrek returned home, unable to sleep. Years passed and Shrek had never told anyone what had happened to his brother. He felt responsible, and the guilt pained him. He slowly dissociated with his family as his sister left the house to find a safe haven living with a friend Shrek would later know as Phosphora. Shrek had visited them many times when he felt lonely and wanted to get out of the house, as Shrekabelle was one of the only people he felt like he could trust during these lonely days. At least until he met Elsa. He remembered that one day they were both getting ready to go to some concert and the two of them seemed embarrassed, but when Shrek picked up the ticket Phosphora dropped to hand it to her, he remembered reading the words "Muppet Show" on the ticket. He felt it was kinda silly they were going to see that, but he didn't judge others. In fact he almost asked to come along due to wanting to spend time with them and not wanting to return home where he constantly felt guilty just being around people he had to lie to daily, people who acted rude to his sister.
One night, Shrek went on a walk, years after he lost his brother. His mother told him to come back home before it got too late, but Shrek was feeling too crestfallen to care. He walked through the rain, enjoying the calm nature of it as the rain beat against his raincoat. As he aimlessly wandered along, he started to slowly walk through the path in the woods where he had last seen his brother. He stared at the spot where the portal had opened up and shed a few tears. His sulking was cut short though, as he heard a sound in the distance, something in the bushes nearby.
Hordes of monster leaped out from every corner of Shrek's surrounding area, surprising him. The monsters looked grotesque, shadowy, and scary. Shrek screamed as he ducked and cowered. Before he knew it, he felt a sensation though. Shrek noticed a powerful feeling in the palm of his hand. He let it flow, and he noticed it becoming more and more powerful. With great gusto, Shrek screamed as a blade magically appeared in his hand. It was none other than the mythical Onionblade, the very one Shrack had told him about. With a burst of power, Shrek took down each and every enemy in mere moments. He ran home in fear, worried of more monsters he believed were yet to come. Upon entering the house, he threw his raincoat off over to the direction of the coatrack and locked himself up in his room right away.
"What the hell was that?" he whispered to himself, afraid. "That sword... it looks just like the Onionblade that Shrack told me about. It even as the onion scent to it..."
Shrek looked out the window and into the darkness of the night. Rain hit his face, but he enjoyed it. He just kept staring out the window, wondering how the hell he even managed to summon such a blade. He believed it had belonged to his old brother Shrack, but maybe since he was gone now it had moved onto him? Shrek was confused and sad. He missed his jerk of a brother and wished things had never ended up the way they had.
In current time, Chad Kroeger woke up in his soft, nice bed. His wife was right next to him, looking comfortable and cuddly. Chad carefully slipped out of bed without waking her up. Everything felt surreal to Chad. He had no idea how he suddenly awoke in bed, he just remembered being near the entrance to Hell and waking up the way he was a moment later. Full of worry, he quickly checked the mirror to make sure he was himself. He was still himself, much to his relief. However he spotted a note taped to one side of the mirror.
Concert tonight 11:00 PM.
Meet up outside this dressing room.
Chad suddenly realized something was off. The deal he had made didn't just make everyone forget him... it made him go back. It sent him all the way back to when he was still in his band. Chad freaked out. Nobody knowing his identity was good, but being stuck together with his former now current band members was worse.
"Oh God, what do I do...?" he wondered.
He thought for a moment and suddenly realized what happened to the other members of both Leagues.
"Ah, I know! I should meet up with the others and see if they're any different. Maybe I wasn't sent back in time, but the timeline was just altered or something so that I'd be in Nickelback still. It's a bit of a gamble but I have no other options," he said.
Chad took out a piece of paper and a pen and quickly wrote a note for his wife. He slipped it into a note and left it next to her on the bed before slipping out of the window and sneaking away. His next step was to find Shrek...
It's that time again! Future chapter titles:
The League of Super Evil Chapter 26: Undoing Our Mistakes Part II
The League of Super Evil Chapter 27: Muppetational!
The League of Super Evil Chapter 28: An Overdue Bill
The League of Super Evil Chapter 29: Intermission
The League of Super Evil Chapter 30: Shrek Flashback VI