December 24th - No Stars to Light This Christmas Eve

Though none of them would admit it, there was a strong sense of foreboding that hung unspoken of over their heads. It had been six days since the doctor had started treating her pneumonia and, though it had seemed she was getting better, it was now clear that that wasn't the case. It had been a little over twenty-four hours since she had been admitted to the hospital and put on a ventilator to keep her breathing, a thought that was even more depressing. Needless to say, the horizon was looking pretty dark at the moment. So, though they hadn't actually spoken of it, they all felt the impending sense of loss...

Some Christmas eve this was turning out to be...

Garcia was still unconscious, but the team had been taking turns standing watch in her room in case she should wake up; they didn't want her to wake to unfamiliar settings, alone, on Christmas eve. And, each time someone would take over for the other, they would find the room looking a little more festive as slowly, each person attempted to introduce at least a small bit of Christmas cheer to the bleak room. A small tree stood in the corner of the room, bearing evidence of everyone who had been there in the form of a decoration or two, each remarkably indicative of its owner. Paper snowflakes had been taped to the window, those also reminiscent of their makers, Morgan's and Reid's looking like they had been regurgitated from a paper shredder, JJ's and Emily's actually looking somewhat like snowflakes.

It was almost as if they were attempting to make the place she would be coming back to more appealing than whatever was waiting for her should she let go, should she give up.

And, as they each took turns waiting for her to wake up, it seemed that they were each attempting to coax her back by reminding her of what she was missing. Clearly, they had all planned on her being here for Christmas eve, they had all planned on sharing some part of what it was that made the day special for them, and the fact that she wasn't awake for it wasn't about to stop them from reminding her of all the things she had to live for.

******

Emily set a plate of cookies on the bedside table as she sat down beside Garcia's bed. "They're a little burnt," she admitted, "And by 'a little', I mean burnt to a crisp. But I don't think Santa will mind... And by 'Santa', I mean whoever's keeping vigil after me." She smiled slightly at her joke, but it felt a little feeble, even to her.

She reached out to hold one of Garcia's hands and frowned, feeling rather disconcerted at the way even her hands seemed to have wasted away to skin and bones. She sighed, trying not to think about it, and started talking to Garcia in an attempt to fill up the overwhelming silence.

"You have to wake up soon, you know. Because you promised you and JJ would teach me how to bake cookies. And JJ just doesn't have the patience like you do... If she tried to teach me alone, there'd be a holly jolly bloodbath... And I promised Derek that, for his Christmas gift this year, I'd learn how to bake cookies since he's got a real sweet-tooth.

"I even went out a bought a cookbook and an apron, one with little gingerbread men on it... All that's left now is for you to wake up. And this time I won't eat all the dough or spill milk on the cookies or...anything else that I did wrong last time. Because believe me, do I ever need the help... Since this," she picked up one of the burnt cookies from the plate, "Is what happens when I try to bake on my own..." She tossed the cookie across the room, it hit the wall, and fell to the floor, still in one piece.

******

JJ gently set Henry down next to Garcia and the infant looked sadly between his mother and his unconscious godmother, not sure what was going on, but sure that he didn't like it. He started to whimper softly. "You see?" JJ said to Garcia, "You have to stick around for this little guy. He needs someone to spoil him rotten. And it wouldn't be fair to him if Jack got to spend so much more time with his Aunty... Who else is gonna spend the day with him making gingerbread houses and letting him eat a ton of sugar? That's your job! It wouldn't be fair if he didn't get a chance to remember what a sweet, fun person his godmother was... And what if something happened to us? Do you honestly think Reid could take care of a kid on his own? Henry needs his godmother."

Henry started to sob a little, as if he understood what his mother was saying. "I know, buddy," JJ said to him, "It's not fair."

Turning back to Garcia, she added, "And if that isn't enough..." she grabbed one of the cookies off the nearby plate, "Look at this... This isn't a cookie, it's a hockey puck! And I'm sure you love Morgan enough not to let him eat this monstrosity. He'd break all of his teeth. And there is no way in hell I'm going to teach Emily how to bake without you, we need you to referee. I swear, I would end up killing her otherwise... You see what happens when you're not around? Things fall apart... You're the glue that holds us together."

******

"T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse," Jack read from the well-worn, dog-eared copy of the old rhyme.

He sat next to Garcia on her hospital bed, dressed in his Christmas pyjamas, concentrating on reading. Except for the book and the pyjamas, you would have been hard-pressed to find any sign that the young boy was waiting for Santa to come; in fact, his almost solemn mood was the exact opposite of what one would expect from a child on Christmas eve.

"The stockings were hung by the chimney with care in the hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there."

Hotch sat nearby, watching the little boy lavish concern over his aunt. Earlier, Jack had overheard a conversation which mentioned the fact that she was in the hospital and had insisted on visiting her, no amount of convincing could change his mind.

"And Ma in her ker-ch-ee-f," Jack sounded out, "And I in my cap had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap."

Usually, Hotch reflected, he read the story to his son before he fell asleep that night and the little boy would hardly be able to sit still from his excitement. But tonight, Jack had insisted that he read it. It was disconcerting how different this Christmas eve was from last year.

A nurse knocked at the door then, wanting to change the IVs.

Turning to Jack, Hotch said, "Buddy, we should probably go home now; it's past your bedtime."

"But Daddy," he whined, "I'm not finished the story."

"Come on, Jack," he attempted to be stern, despite the boy's obvious concern, "You know Santa won't come if you're awake..."

"So, I'll sleep here," he resolutely tried to bargain, "Santa has to come here to make her better!"

******

Admittedly, Rossi felt rather uncomfortable keeping watch over Garcia. It was clear that he didn't know her as well as the others, they weren't as close 'friends'. He had been making an effort more of late, but there was no denying the fact that it just wasn't the same.

But he was nonetheless concerned and anxious for her to wake up.

So, he tried to help the only way he knew how. He pulled an old wooden rosary from his pocket, clutched the beads in his hand, and shut his eyes tightly as he started to pray.

******

Reid spent several painfully awkward, unbearably silent moments just fidgeting as he sat next to Garcia's bed. He wasn't good at comforting people who were awake, how was he supposed to manage to do it for someone who wasn't even conscious? For some reason, despite the fact that he knew she probably couldn't hear him and certainly wouldn't remember what he said or didn't say, he was inexplicably anxious at the thought of keeping her company.

His mind began to get away from him as he looked frantically about the room for some clue what to do, eventually landing on the Christmas tree. His mouth began to follow after his mind and he began blurting out the first things that came to his mind, "The modern Christmas tree was a cultural import from Germany, believed to be a Christianization of pagan winter solstice tradition which involved the worship of evergreen boughs."

His eyes lit up, suddenly feeling much more confident, the way that only being a know-it-all could do. "In fact, most aspects of the modern Christmas celebration are rooted in pagan traditions. Many scholars argue that Jesus wasn't even born in December, but March, and the celebration was moved to coincide with the pagan festival of Saturnalia in which the Romans honored the god Saturn. Saturnalia was actually quite similar to the modern traditions used to celebrate Christmas, such as feasts, the exchange of gifts, and..."

He trailed off realizing that he had gone off on a tangent as he was often prone to do. And, seeing as the others were rarely appreciative of it when awake, it seemed unlikely that Garcia was enjoying his rambling. "Sorry..." he smiled sheepishly.

******

"I'm just going to list all the reasons that you've got to wake up," Morgan said frankly, his tone clearly saying that, even if she were capable of arguing with him, she shouldn't because she would lose.

"One: you're the best tech goddess we've got. Seriously, we owe a lot of our success as a unit to you. No one can track down information the way you can. And there's definitely no one who can do it while dishing out witty banter like you. Can you imagine how many boring phone calls we'd have to endure if you weren't on the other end? It would probably be like talking to Reid... You don't want that, now do you?"

He smiled slightly to himself and imagined that he saw her face lift in a small grin.

"Two: we'd be seriously gloomy people if you didn't make us smile. It would be like living in a Camus novel... We'd never smile, never laugh...we'd be robots. And you think we're dark and tortured souls now... Just imagine what we'd be like if our days weren't filled with bright colors and all the little things that only you bring..."

He frowned, starting to run out of good reasons. He'd had more, but they just seemed to have vanished from his mind when he had sat down next to her bed.

"Three: we need someone else for Strauss to be annoyed with once in awhile. You remember when she called you and you thought it was me? That was probably the funniest thing I've ever seen... I swear I saw steam come from her ears..."

Again, he thought he saw the ghost of a smile as he chuckled to himself.

"Four: you'll never get to see what becomes of Emily and I... Speaking of which, I seriously owe you for that one... I'm sure I'd still be biding my time, trying to find the right moment to bring up the whole 'I love you' thing if you hadn't so...kindly...intervened."

"Five: umm... Who will go with me to cut down a Christmas tree next year?"

He nearly jumped out of his skin from the start that came when his adamant listing was suddenly interrupted. "What do you mean, who will you take to get a Christmas tree? You aren't planning on taking your girlfriend? Do you have no sense of romance?"

As his heart rate slowly returned to normal, he smiled widely, "You're awake!"

"Damn right, I'm awake... Someone had to knock some sense into you," Garcia replied seriously.

He ignored that quip and leaned down to hug her tightly. "Well, I'm glad you're back in the land of the living... You've made for one seriously depressing Christmas eve. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to call everyone and tell them the good news."

As he stood to leave the room, she called after him, "And hell, yeah, you owe me... Big time!"

He just shook his head and laughed. It was so good to have her back.