I kept my head up and my eyes forward. I knew if I looked back I would just want to go back. But the end of the world comes first. When I made it to the parking lot Sam was sitting in the passenger's seat and Dean was leaning on the side with the door open. He was looking away and around.

"Get some sleep then head to Bobby's in the morning?" I asked as I got closer. The boys both nodded. As we drove further away from the FBI and out of the city no one said anything. Sam just stared out the window and Dean kept his eyes on the road. "Sam?" I asked and he turned to face me.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"You wanna tell me what is going on?" I asked and he looked at me in confusion. "No one has said anything to each other since we left Quantico, like two hours ago." Sam shrugged. "Oh come on... I'm gone for how long and no one has anything to say?" I asked with a small laugh. Sam just looked sideways at Dean and I could tell something was going on. Suddenly Dean turned into a motel and got out. He made his way to the front desk leaving me and Sam alone. "He is mad at me isn't he?" I asked.

"Yeah kinda." Sam sighed. "but I don't know why?" he shrugged.

"He's got a whole speech for me I can just feel it."

"Oh you bet he does... just hear him out?" Sam sighed as we both got out of the car.

Dean came back out and threw Sam the keys. "Sam take a drive." he ordered as he stared me down.

"Umm Okay..." Sam said flipping the keys in his hand then looking at me as Dean walked down the sidewalk to the room. "Good luck." Sam offered.

"Thanks..." I sighed. Dean had already stepped inside the motel room when I started toward him. I walked quickly and when I stepped inside Dean had his hand on the door waiting for me to walk in. I walked in and he watched me, I didn't even have time to turn around before he slammed the door closed. " Jesus." I spun around quickly. His back was still facing me and his head was down. It looked like he was trying to control his anger. "Okay what did I do?" I asked softly.

"Tell me what happened." He said before turning around.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"Tell me what happened from the time you were taken, when we last spoke and when we found you!" Dean yelled and I jumped back.

"Why are you yelling at me!" I yelled back in defence.

"Clara tell me." He demanded.

"Why?" I ask. " Is it gonna make you feel better to know everything that demon did?" I asked.

"No, I need to know how you went from being just peachy to being dead!" He yelled.

"dead?" I questioned in a small quiet tone.

"Yeah dead, as in you died and I had to threaten an angel to bring you back!" He continued to yell at me.

"Back at the house, I died?" I asked again. Dean was quiet. "Why didn't you jus..."

"What leave you there?" He laughed at me in anger. "Wasn't exactly an option now was it?" he sighed. "Now tell me." he really wanted to know.

"WHY!" I yelled back. " Why do you need to know!? Why are you so determined to make me relive the whole damn thing?" I asked yelling right back at him. If he was going to yell at me for no reason then I was going to yell at him for no reason!

He took a deep breath as in to calm him self down. "Clara. It's important. Just tell me what happened."

I shook my head with a scoff. What the hell was wrong with him. "Where would you like me to start? The part he made me summon Cas just so he could try to kill him? Or the two-week comma I was in tied in a cell in a basement where he put images of people dying over and over in my head? Or you wanna know how many times that sick son of a bitch jabbed me with his knife, not to kill me but to just put me in pain so he could get off?" I asked pulling my shirt up a bit and showing off some of the many marks. " You wanna count yourself? Because I lost count around 25!" I threw my shirt down once his eyes looked where I was pointing. His eyes looked down and sighed. "Or my favour part, where he shot me in the chest..." I pulled down my collar showing the fresh stitching. " Took Haley upstairs to kill her, then shot me in the back for getting away?" I was close enough to Dean that I could see the pain in his own eyes. I had a feeling he didn't mean for this conversation to go this way. "Not to mention all the things he said he was going to do to Jack." I found my self fighting back tears and I was failing. Before the first tear had time to hit the ground he sprung forward and dragged me into his arms.

Dean closed his arms around me tightly and in a way I felt safer then I had in months. I clung to his back and I didn't even bother trying to stop the other tears that fell. "I'm sorry." He said laying his face into my neck as I held on tighter. "I tried..." he sighed. Isn't that like Dean to take blame and guilt for everything even things out of his control? I shook my head into his chest.

"For once don't blame yourself." I said quietly. When Dean was quiet I remembered the last thing the demon said to me. I lifted my head and looked up at him and he looked down worried. " Who's Alistair?" I asked and the most horrified look on Dean's face made me scared. He backed away from me with his hands up a bit.

"What did you just say?" He asked again his eyes wide and slowly glazing over.

"Dean?" I asked stepping closer.

"Say that again!" He made me jump.

"Who's Alistair?" I asked and Dean basically collapsed on to the edge of the bed. His head forward his mouth open in shock and his eyes wide and frightened. "Dean?" I rushed in front of him. I landed on my knees and tried to make him look at me. "Hey... come on don't zone out on me now... what's wrong?" I asked waving my hands in front of his face. He reached out and grabbed my wrists tightly and I slowly put my hands down and placed them on his knees. I could feel them shaking and his grip on my wrists moved to my hands and then he sighed.

"This really is my fault."

"What? No it isn't." I shook my head. "Why would you think that?" I asked just trying to get him to talk.

"He tortures souls for a living." he stared at me. "During my time down under time is multiplied. 4 months felt like 40 years. And each day Alistair came to me with an offer." He sighed looking away. " The pain would stop if I did what he did." I kept him hands in mine as I sat next to him on the bed. "and after 30 years..."

"You agreed." I finished his sentence a bit angry at what he did. I looked away once he looked at me. I wasn't proud but there was a part of me that really thought Dean could with stand anything. "So the last month of your tour you..." I didn't even wanna finish that statement.

"Yeah." He knew what I was getting at.

"Wow..." Was all I could say and his head shot sideways looking at me. I sighed and looked over at him with a sad smile. "I'm sorry."

"Your sorry?" He asked with a small laugh.

"I'm sorry you had to be a part of that." I said and he just looked confused. "But... bluer skies now, right?" I asked.

"I hope so." Was all he said before his smile grew and he kissed me. He pulled me closer and just as he was about to deepen the kiss a knock came to the door and Sam walked in. "and he's back."

I laughed and turned to Sam. "How was your drive?" I asked Sam as he looked at Dean as I stood. Dean was no doubt glaring at him.

"Um... nothing special." He shrugged. "But I did manage to find these." He smiled throwing me my bag I had left at the motel room where Alistair kidnapped me.

"Oh my god you are the best." I smiled. I rushed over and hugged Sam quickly. "I don't know what you guys are doing but I'm gonna take the longest shower of my life." I laughed walking toward the bathroom with fresh clothes. I heard them both laugh at me once I closed the door.