How did this happen?

Chapter 25

The fireworks were still going when you left with Rachel earlier. You had to make sure she would be home on time. You do not want to get on her dads bad side even more then you already are. You made it on time! You park the car in front of her house just as Rachel turns towards you.

"I had a really nice time tonight, Quinn."

You smile, just as you have been doing all night. "Me too." You say. "Best date ever."

Rachel raises her eyebrows. "I thought we said that this wasn't a date?"

"We did…but can we still consider it one after all?" You ask Rachel. "It was such a beautiful night…, maybe we can have two first dates?"

"That sounds nice."

"I think so too." You beam. "Thank you for coming with me." You say running your hand over her arm.

"It was my pleasure, Quinn." Rachel says, taking your hand in hers. "I had a wonderful time and I'm happy I was able to help you with your dream." She smiles as she says those last words.

You laugh softly. "I'm happy I was with you during it. Thanks again." You play with her fingers. Looks like neither of you want to leave. "You should go." You tell Rachel. You don't want her to be late. It would be really stupid if she were late because you couldn't let her go.

"I know." She pouts. "I just don't want to leave yet."

You don't want the night to end either. However, it's still a school night and you don't want to give her dads a reason to be mad. You tell her just that. "I know, but I don't want to get you into trouble."

Rachel nods before letting go of your hand to take her purse from the floor. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yes, you will."

Rachel's hand hovers over the door handle while she keeps looking at you. "I really wish I could give you another kiss…but my dads are probably looking through the curtains."

You can't help but glance outside the window to see if you can spot her lurking fathers. You can't see them but that doesn't mean they aren't there. "There's always tomorrow." You smile.

Rachel nods. "Okay, I'm going to go before they come out and get me." She pulls the handle and opens the door. "See you tomorrow."

"See ya."

"Oh, and text me when you get home, okay?"

You nod. "I will."

Rachel keeps her gaze on you for a few moments more, neither of you eager to really leave at all. "Okay, just go." You tell her. "Or we'll be here all night." You laugh.

Rachel turns to look at her house before turning back and pulling you in a hug. You quickly put her hands around her as well to pull her tight. You feel her kiss your neck briefly, before she pulls away and gets out of the car. She looks at you once more, smiles widely before closing the door. You wave at her when she reaches her front door before driving home yourself.

You slept wonderful… until…you heard your dad come home. You hoped he wouldn't be home until the morning. You hoped you wouldn't have to see him until after school. You listened carefully from your bed at what was going on in the house. Your senses were on high alert right away.

You cursed when you heard your mother leave her bedroom. Because your mom leaving her room would surely end in them fighting. And sure enough, after half an hour, waiting for it to start, you hear your father raising his voice.

You sigh and throw of your sheets in case the fight becomes too heated downstairs and you have to come in between. You run your hands over your face a couple of times to wake up more clearly. You have to be alert, have to be ready. You glance at the clock next to you.

Two AM.

At least you slept a few hours. You take a deep breath when you hear insults being thrown around downstairs. You sigh again and get out of your bed. You walk towards your door and open it slightly to hear what's going on more clearly. You have to be ready in case something happens. You hate it, you just want peace and quiet?! Why is that so hard to get?

Why? Always so many why's.

Why do they always have to fight?

Why don't they care that you can hear them?

Why can't they just get along for at least a couple of days?

Why don't they care that you're losing a lot of sleep over this?

Why do they keep putting you through this, keep hurting themselves and you?

You sit against your wall, next to your door and just listen to what's been said downstairs. You mother still not happy with how long your father was away. Your father shouting that she should just get a job then, if she can do it better. Those bills weren't going to pay themselves if neither of them are working.

You reach for your phone that's charging and unlock it just so you can do something. You're surprised to see a message from Rachel. One send just after midnight. You quickly open it.

"Still thinking about you and our great first date. The smile on my face just won't leave."

You love what that message does to you. It instantly makes you smile again as well. You wonder if you would wake her up if you reply right now? Does she silence her phone when she goes to bed? You want to reply so bad. But, you don't want to wake her up. At least one of you should get a full night's sleep. You sure as hell never get the chance to do so yourself.

You jump when you hear something break downstairs and throw your phone to the floor as you get up and quickly make your way downstairs. You're taking two steps at a time and jump over the railing when you're able to.

You knew right then it would be a long night.

Shattered glass,

screaming,

kicked over chairs…

The memories don't leave your mind as you get ready for school. They never leave your memories entirely, ever. It had been a long night. You had hurt your wrist slightly when you had to pull your dad away from you mom. He had twisted it because you came in between. It doesn't hurt that much, it just stings when you turn it to brusquely.

It's a reminder.

After "peace" returned, well, after your parents seem to have been too tired to continue to fight they went to bed. It makes you furious. During the remainder of the night you kept re-reading Rachel's messages. You can't wait to see her face again. You wish she was with you right then. You would have given anything for a hug.

That's why you are happy when you make it school. You're dad had already left earlier so you can at least breathe a little bit better knowing your mother was currently home along. You step out of your car and can already feel yourself changing. You put on your HBIC face. You don't show emotion. You don't let it be known that you are feeling miserable right now. No one can notice how tired you are. You put on a mask.

You're only goal is to find Rachel. It's the only focus you really had since you went back to your room that night, after the fight. That message she send kept you sane. It would freak you out to know how much you now depend on Rachel if it didn't just makes you feel better. It does. Rachel makes you feel good.

You spot Rachel at her locker as you turn the corner. You smile…well, you want to but it's important that your mask doesn't slip right now. So, you smile inside. You make your way over to her and lean against her locker.

You look around to see if there any lurkers around. "Hey, beautiful." You say softly when you know it's safe.

Rachel rapidly turns around at your words. "Quinn!" You hear the smile in her her words but don't look at her. "How are you this morning?"

"I'm…fine." You reply. "Thank you for your text last night." You glare at a kid who's looking at the two of you until he hurries away.

"I'm glad you liked it." Rachel follows your gaze and you just know she's frowning at your behavior right now. "Are you okay?"

You can't help but briefly look at her when you hear her concerned voice. "I'm okay." Oh, how you wish you could kiss her right now. Her lips look so kissable. Her arms look so inviting.

"Why won't you look at me?"

You don't know why you act the way you are right now. You just want to stay strong. You have to. School hasn't even begun yet and you already feel as if you could break down. It's just not an option.

You look around again before briefly meeting her eyes again. "Because your lips look so kissable right now and I'm dying to kiss them." You whisper the words. You're not about to get caught again.

You hear Rachel gasp quietly and know she's blushing. "I…I wish for that as well." She whispers right back. "But why won't you look at me?"

Your resolve breaks and you turn your head fully to meet her gaze. "I missed you." The words slip out before you can help yourself. This isn't staying strong!

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Of course I am." You say, looking around again

"Quinn, look at me." She says. You do as she tells you to and look at her. She studies your face and you let her. "Are you lying to me?"

You want to say no. You want to so bad. It used to be easy to lie and tell everyone you were alright. But, it's Rachel. You promised her to talk to her. "Yes." You sigh finally.

"What happened?"

"I can't talk about it."

"We could find an empty classroom?"

"No."

"Okay…then…what do you need?"

You.

You want to say it so badly. You need her. You need a hug. You need soothing words from her. You need for the two of you to be in her room right now. Where you can lay in her arms. You need peace and quiet. That's what you need.

"I can't have what I want right now." You say, your back straitening, trying to stay strong. You feel your mask slipping. You notice someone's gaze on you and turn your head. "Move it along, loser face!" You say at some random kid who's staring at the two of you. "Leave before I ma-"

"Quinn!" Rachel hisses as she watches the kid running away. "Stop it!" she says pulling at your arm to get your attention back.

Shit.

You didn't mean to do that. Your emotions are just all over the place. And now you slipped back into your old self. You look down briefly and take a deep breath. You have to calm down and find some balance.

"I'm sorry." You are, you really are. This isn't what you want.

"Talk to me." Rachel pleads.

You shake your head. "I can't." You look back at Rachel.

Lovely, beautiful Rachel.

Your Rachel.

Rachel stares at you again. "Have you slept at all last night?"

"I have to go." You can't have her witness you like this any longer.

"No, you don't."

"I do." You have to leave before you break down. The mask may have crumbled a little bit but you feel it slipping back on completely. "I'll see you later."

"Quinn, no…" she says, coming closer to you.

You put distance between the two of you, making sure she can't stop you from leaving. You look once more. You see Rachel desperately trying to search your eyes for the answers. You start walking. "You look lovely today." You whisper before leaving entirely, power walking the halls like people expect from you.

"What the hell happened to your hand?"

Santana.

You should have known. Cheering is a bitch when your wrist hurts. At least she waited until everyone left.

"Nothing."

"Bull! You were wincing all through the routines."

"It just stings a little bit, I woke up like this."

"I can just smell the bullshit all the way from here." Santana sounds angry. "And you look horrible. Have you slept at all?"

Is it really that obvious?

Can anyone tell?!

Can everyone see this?

It frightens you. "Is it that obvious?" you almost whisper.

You feel Santana come closer. "He's home, huh?" she asks as she comes to stand next to you. Similar as you were earlier with Rachel.

You nod "Yes."

"And you tried to come in between again?"

You just nod. You can't reply. She's too close to the truth.

"I told you to stop doing that!" You know Santana's angry that you got hurt.

"I have to, San."

"You don't have to do nothing!"

"You don't understand. He'll hurt her if I don't." He always hurts your mom. It makes you so angry. Why is he so violent?

"So, you getting hurt instead is better?"

"I can't do this right now." You slam your locker shut and almost run out of the locker room.

You hear Santana yelling your name but you know she won't come after you. She knows you don't want to talk and she always respects it. You know she's just worried right now.

You're happy that you have a free period at the moment. You hope to find a quiet place so you can finally breathe again. You walk the almost empty halls and spot Rachel. She didn't see you as she goes into the choir room. You don't think and just follow her. Your mind shuts up for a moment. You peep inside to see if anyone is in there with her before completely walking in when you know she's alone. You close the door making Rachel spin around. She's holding her music sheets and clearly is surprised to see you.

"Quinn." She whispers.

You just look around while moving closer to her. No one can see you from where she is standing. Someone looking through the class door windows won't be able to see you from her place near the wall. You come to stand right in front of her.

"Hold me."

And she does.

And you can finally breathe again.

TBC

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