Kurt hadn't given him an answer, but that really wasn't all that surprising. Kurt was still angry and upset and probably pretty annoyed with him. Since Quinn obviously couldn't keep her trap shut and he hadn't included her in this plan, he really had no way of knowing. It was a fifty-fifty shot. Either he had given himself a romantic evening with Kurt, or he had planned the perfect date for Kurt and that annoying Chandler guy.
Puck was sweating balls. Which was a gross expression, but an accurate one. He felt like he needed one of those gay, striped, colored workout bands, because sweat was dripping from his forehead into his eyes.
He didn't know exactly why he was so afraid of Mr. Hummel. The man was old and usually pretty nice. Something about that stare he sometimes gave Puck though... that man could do him some serious damage if he chose to. Hadn't he been a marine or something? Kurt might have mentioned that once.
Kurt should be the focus of his thoughts, he decided as he pushed open the door he had been staring at for the last fifteen minutes. Kurt was the reason he was potentially dying this afternoon.
Finn could actually be pretty smart about people. Puck had known this for a long time, but it was still annoying that Finn knew Kurt better than Puck did. Still, he was willing to help, which was pretty cool of him. Especially since Puck kind of needed it.
Mr. Hummel was in the back, talking to a few large, equally-terrifying mechanics. Awesome. Just what he needed for his nerves. "Mr. Hummel," he called out, half-hoping the man wouldn't hear him and he would have an excuse to leave. Unfortunately, Kurt's father had the hearing of a bat. Something to remember, definitely.
"Puckerman." At least he sounded surprised, and not angry. "What are you doing here?"
"My ma decided she doesn't exactly approve of my pool-cleaning business." Burt's eyes narrowed. So he did know what that meant. Fuck. "I know a little bit about cars," thanks to Google, "and I was wondering if you needed any help around here this summer."
"Kurt doesn't work around here much anymore, so we could use the help." That was a pointed comment, Puck knew, but he also knew that Kurt loved spending time with his father, and that he would do anything to get closer to him. Including spend his summer days at the garage. Puck would definitely be seeing Kurt here, he just knew it.
"Great, sir."
"You might need a little bit of teaching, but I think you'll do all right." For some reason, it really didn't sound like Burt was talking about his potential job anymore. "We'll start you out a little above minimum wage, and the more you learn, the more you earn. Seem fair?" It wasn't really a question, but that did sound really fair. And, thankfully, they weren't talking about Kurt anymore.
"Sounds great, Mr. Hummel." Burt gave him a look from head-to-toe.
"Call me Burt," he said as if it was a big decision. "You're an employee now, after all."
Kurt had been staring at three items on his desk for about an hour. Thankfully, Puck had followed through on his promise, and the roses had stopped. Kurt had thrown most of them out (a lot of them were wilting), but he had given in and kept the last bouquet in water, making sure to cut the stems diagonally and give them fresh water every day. They had lasted quite well.
The roses were object number one. The tickets Puck had given him in exchange for stopping the roses were object number two (technically, there were two of them, but that didn't really matter. There were fifteen roses, but they didn't count individually either).
Item number three was his phone. He had two options... well, three really. He could just not go to The Music Man all together, but who wastes musical tickets? So, his two real options were: calling Chandler, or calling Puck. He technically could invite anyone he pleased, but Kurt had looked at the card that came with the last roses. There were dinner reservations at a nice restaurant, and pre-ordered champagne, and no, this was definitely a date Puck had planned. A wonderful, romantic date.
It was Thursday. Kurt didn't really have any more time to decide. He knew Chandler would drop everything for a chance to go on a first date (he cringed a little at the thought), and he knew Puck had planned this whole thing, so he was obviously free. No matter who he called, he was going to get a 'yes.' This was not necessarily a good thing.
Kurt picked up his phone, took several deep breaths, and made the call.
"Hey baby!" Chandler said brightly, picking up on the first ring. "Changed your mind about shopping, or karaoke, or the play, or anything really? Because I was thinking-"
"The plans I had for Friday got canceled actually," Kurt said, and he didn't feel any guilt for lying, "and a friend of mine," that he felt strangely guilty about, "gave me two tickets to The Music Man in Columbus. I was wondering if you wanted to come with."
"Absolutely!" Chandler answered with no hesitation. "We could get dinner before, and maybe go out for some non-alcoholic drinks after. Or alcoholic ones, if that's what you're into. I can't say I've never had a drink-"
"Actually, my friend kind of planned out a whole night for him and his girlfriend," okay, that was just cold, "and since they had to cancel, I was thinking we could just go along with their plan."
"Sounds great. Where are we headed? I know the greatest restaurant-"
"I already have the reservation." Kurt was getting more and more used to interrupting Chandler. It wasn't that the boy couldn't shut up, he just always had something to say, and he was very enthusiastic.
"Great." Chandler sounded surprised, but happy. "So, I have to go, because I'm taking a summer class through my school, but I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Absolutely." That may have been the first time that Chandler had asked a question and waited for it to be answered. Progress.
"Bye, babe!"
"Bye." Chandler really needed to stop with the pet names.
Okay, maybe the whole musical thing really hadn't been his best idea. It was Friday afternoon, about ten minutes before someone would theoretically have to leave to make the reservation Puck had planned for Kurt and guest (who was really supposed to be him), and he hadn't heard anything from Kurt. Which could only mean one thing. He was going with Chandler.
Thankfully, Finn had planned for this (it was amazing what Finn could do when he put his mind to it), and Chandler was about to get the two worst cock-blocks on the planet crashing his first date with a guy who was so out of his league (Puck assumed. He hadn't actually met this Chandler guy, but Kurt was out of everyone's league except his. There was no way Kurt had found someone as sexy as him).
So while Kurt's second-choice was enjoying the expensive restaurant (thankfully, Chandler, if he was any sort of guy for Kurt, would end up having to pay that), expensive champagne Puck had pre-bought, and the surprise delivery of roses and chocolate the doorman was going to give Kurt on the way out (he had really gone all-out), Puck could put another phase of the twenty-three pronged plan into action.
Okay, so the plan didn't really have twenty-three prongs. Puck wasn't that crazy. That was the number Finn liked to use, because that was the number of issues he had found between Kurt and Puck, but realistically, Puck couldn't fix all of those problems anytime soon. Who really cared about the number of prongs anyway?
This was another one of those prongs that could get Puck killed, but the thought that kept him going was that Kurt was headed out on a date with someone else. The two people he would normally call were also on the way, but that was completely beside the point.
He had this number from over a year ago, when he tried to date her. This probably wouldn't go well, considering she was still in his phone as 'Aretha.' Kurt hated that, but she didn't mind so much. "Who the hell is this?" Mercedes snapped into the phone as soon as she picked it up, and she clearly hadn't saved his number. Awesome.
"Hey, Mercedes." See, he did know her name!
"What do you want, Puck? I'm not helping you get my boy. That was a one-time thing." Crap, he needed a new way to sell this.
"This isn't about Kurt. Quinn asked me to call you," note: tell Quinn about this later... somehow, "because she and Rachel thought it would be fun if the Glee club went out for karaoke, and she was wondering if you knew anywhere good to go."
"So why didn't white girl just call me herself?"
"She's driving right now. She and Rachel are doing something." Whew. Crisis averted.
"Whatever. I can't believe Rachel didn't know a good karaoke joint, but I know one."
"Where? And I think Rachel prefers karaoke machines. She likes hearing her own voice more than anyone else's," Puck added, making Mercedes laugh.
"True. And there's a little karaoke bar about two streets down from BreadstiX called Planet Rose. There's no stage, but it's really fun with a lot of people."
"Sounds good. I'll let Quinn know." Jackpot.
"Whatever." Click.
Now he just had to get everyone else on board, and he would, of course, ask Kurt himself. Rachel and Quinn would probably be the best sellers for the rest of the club, so he would have to wait until tomorrow. Maybe Finn wanted to play Halo... though it wouldn't be the same without Kurt kicking both of their asses.
"This is nice," Kurt said as Chandler pulled out his chair for him. Puck had chosen an absolutely lovely restaurant for his first date with Chandler, and Kurt was absolutely determined not to let the planner of the evening dominate his thoughts for the rest of the night.
"It really is," Chandler added as he sat down for himself. "You'll have to thank you friend for planning out a great date, and of course, rub it into your friend's girlfriend's face that we're here instead of them. If you don't like her, that is. If you do like her, you should tell her how sweet and romantic her boyfriend can be." Chandler was not helping with his goal. He really wasn't. And the car ride there had been an endless stream of words from his companion.
"I'd rather not talk about them," Kurt said, a little coldly, and thankfully, Chandler picked up on it.
"Would you rather talk about us?"
"I didn't really know there was an us, Chandler," Kurt answered before Chandler could get into one of his endless speeches again. The boy spoke in monologues.
Chandler seemed a little speechless. It was nice. "I... Maybe there isn't now, but I kind of assumed. I mean, you're single and I'm single and you're gorgeous, and I kind of thought you liked me. I mean, you were flirting with me, I think, and-" It was a little sweet, and kind of vulnerable, but still very obnoxious.
"Maybe we should just enjoy our date." And that speech is exactly why Kurt had packed Advil for his date. He quickly swallowed two of them with a sip of the champagne Puck had pre-ordered for them. Technically, it wasn't a good idea to take medicine with alcohol, but Kurt was beyond caring. Chandler had the habit of being very headache-inducing.
"I agree," Chandler said as the waitress came over and took their drink orders. "I mean, exactly how many lavish, pre-planned dates do you get the chance to go on in a lifetime?" Okay, Chandler really was not helping.
"Not very many." Unless, of course, one happens to be the focus of Puck's endless, insistent attentions.
"Exactly," Chandler said triumphantly. "So, I was thinking after the show-"
Kurt wasn't the one who cut Chandler off. He didn't need to. Everything Chandler could possibly be thinking was about to be cut off, and Kurt wasn't entirely sure if he was grateful or not. "Kurt!" Rachel said, waving at him as she walked into the restaurant with Quinn. Dressed up and walking close together, they almost looked like a couple, and people were giving them the same odd looks they had been giving Kurt and Chandler. "Waitress, seat us with them," she demanded of Kurt and Chandler's poor waitress. In a matter of seconds, an extra table, a table cloth, some candles, two menus, and two extra chairs had been added to Kurt and Chandler's date, and Quinn and Rachel were definitely crashing it.
"Kurt, I didn't know you were coming to this." Quinn didn't sound happy, or even particularly surprised. She sounded suspicious.
"Well, if there's Broadway in town, the two of us will inevitably be there," Rachel said cheerily, waving around and clinking her glass with Chandler's stationary one. Chandler, for once, looked rather un-enthused. "And you must be Chandler," Rachel said, in the same tone every mother had at some point, being introduced to a friend of her child's. "Nice to meet a fellow proponent of the arts."
"Likewise," Chandler said, and he sounded downbeat. Oh well.
Chandler may have had a point in the restaurant. Rachel and Quinn were a rather annoying presence, even though Kurt was a little grateful that they were there. He was a little less happy with the company once they had gotten into the champagne. Rachel was a needy drunk and Quinn was an angry drunk, but luckily it was Chandler who became the focus of both of their drunk rants. For Kurt, it was rather entertaining.
By the end of the play, Chandler had no other suggestions for what they might do after, since it was an unspoken rule that if Kurt was going anywhere, Rachel and Quinn were following. Rachel and Quinn were a little less tipsy, but still quite happy with their evening, and Kurt made absolutely sure Quinn was okay for driving before he let his two lovely ladies out of his sight. Chandler became more upbeat once they were gone, and he spent the whole ride home talking again. Oddly enough, Kurt was finding it less and less annoying.
"This was nice." Chandler had insisted on walking Kurt to his door, and he mirrored the first words Kurt had spoken on the date.
"Yeah," Kurt said, hedging a little bit. He had enjoyed spending time with Rachel and Quinn, and Chandler could be sweet when he toned it down a little bit.
"I mean... the cast wasn't the best, and the staging was... awful, but the choreography was amazing. I wonder who planned the dance routines, they should have adapted the sets as well..." This particular rant was a little different than the rest. It was softer and stilted and... nervous? Oh crap.
"It was good, overall," Kurt said shortly, and thankfully they had reached his doorstep.
"Your friends are... enthusiastic." Exactly how had Chandler ended up between Kurt and the doorknob?
"That's one word for them." And one for you, he was tempted to say.
"Are you sure you had fun? You seem laconic." Chandler sounded nervous again.
"No, I really did," Kurt said, and he tried to make his tone as genuine as possible because, well, he had.
"I'm glad. So, I'll see you again. Soon?" Dammit, he sounded so earnest.
"Yeah," Kurt hedged. "I'd like that." No more dates though. He would have to make that very clear. Hopefully over the phone.
One moment they were standing about two feet apart, Chandler very much preventing Kurt from leaving the uncomfortable conversation.
The next, Chandler had cupped Kurt's face in one hand, slid the other down to his waist, and was kissing him softly.
It was... nice, Kurt mused as Chandler kissed him. Chandler was definitely a good kisser. Sweet too, not pushing too far or moving his hands anywhere... suggestive. The crazy thought that flew through his head was that his father would approve, and he had to muster a lot of self-control not to start laughing. Okay, he was definitely not involved in this kiss. When would it end?
Thankfully, Chandler did pull away after a while, blushing a little and smiling. Kurt tried to smile, but it probably didn't look very convincing. "Um, I should go. I'll see you later, babe." Crap, hadn't Kurt said something about pet names?
"Bye, Chandler," he said absentmindedly, but Chandler probably hadn't even heard him, he was walking down the path so quickly. Kurt didn't go inside, watching his date walk away, and he tried once again not to laugh when Chandler did a little happy dance by his car, not even bothering to look back and see if Kurt was still there. Okay, he was cute.
Kurt opened the front door as Chandler got into his car, and the last person he expected was standing waiting for him, arms crossed and looking very unimpressed.
"Seriously?" Finn asked. "That guy?"
"And what exactly, Finnegan, makes you think that I don't like him?" Finn hadn't been watching out the window, had he?
"Dude, I might have only seen a picture of you making out with Puck, but even in still-frame, you looked way more into Puck." Finn was wrinkling his nose a little in discomfort, but Kurt ignored him. He had been watching. Creep.
"Well, rest assured, I like Chandler." Kurt tried to ignore how much that felt like a lie as he headed for the staircase.
"Yeah, right!" Finn called back.
"Then rest assured that I don't like Puck."
"That one I believe," Finn muttered as Kurt continued walking up the stairs, and Kurt couldn't help but laugh.
Puck couldn't remember what prong this was, so he decided to go with the number five as he mentally cursed Finn out for making him do this. Not only did he have no idea what he was doing, or really what his options were, but it made him feel like a girl. Well, not really. Men do the serenading. Women only turn to song if they're angry. Still.
Planet Rose had a very broad song selection, and he had to make a very important choice for the little karaoke jaunt that 'Rachel' was planning. So, he was choosing a song from the listings Finn had grabbed for him yesterday. At least, that's what he was doing, until a very hot blonde came into his bedroom and started yelling at him.
"And I would say I can't believe you sabotaged his first date with a guy he likes but at this point this is exactly what I expect from you since you seem to be so obsessed with Kurt that you won't stop until you have whatever it is you want from him! What is that anyway? Sex? A relationship? Love? Because honestly at this point I don't think you're getting anything from him! He should hate you right now!" Quinn had been going on like this for quite a while. She seemed very mad about Puck's preventative measures, but Puck didn't dare say anything. She was angry, and she was ranting, and he had better things to be thinking about.
"Got it," he muttered to himself. He had the perfect song, and Planet Rose had it.
Thankfully, Quinn hadn't noticed his minor interruption, and she continued until the English language had run out of appropriately demeaning words. Once she had stopped talking, she stopped there huffing with rage in a manor eerily reminiscent of Sue Sylvester.
"Are you going to Rachel's karaoke thing?" Puck asked casually, hoping he wasn't about to set her off again for being too 'cavalier' about everything. Thankfully, she looked confused rather than annoyed.
"What karaoke thing?" Perfect.
"Rachel's planning a karaoke thing for the club, since Glee doesn't really meet over the summer. She's having a little trouble getting the word out." Quinn smelled the set trap, now he just needed to sell it. "While I'm sure Rachel will be in the corner critiquing everyone's performances under her breath, I'm sure it'll be fun."
"You're going?" Quinn asked suspiciously.
"Princess is." At least, he assumed Kurt was. Quinn rolled her eyes.
"Fine. I'll go." Quinn pushed some of the hair that had escaped from her bun out of her eyes. "I need to freshen up," she said as she excused herself from Puck's room and headed for the bathroom in the hall. Perfect.
Puck wasted no time. "Rachel," he said as soon as she picked up the phone.
"Hello, Puckerman. If you're still having trouble admitting to yourself that you're bisexual, my fathers will be more than happy to talk to you-"
"I'm not gay, Rachel," he corrected her. "No, this isn't about me. I was thinking the Glee club should get together for karaoke."
"That would be wonderful, Noah... why are you suggesting this?" she asked suspiciously. Damn, everyone was getting smarter.
"I'm bored out of my mind, and unless I want to hang out with sweaty jocks that have balls and biceps for brains, I'm stuck with the Glee people." Rachel huffed.
"Well, ignoring your questionable motives, I think it's a great idea."
"Cool, 'cause I already got us a table at Planet Rose."
"I'll invite everyone!" Rachel announced before hanging up. And naturally, being Rachel, she would tell everyone it was her idea. He really was having fun.
Somehow, between Rachel and Quinn, the word had managed to get out, and everyone agreed to meet up at Planet Rose on Monday night (it was awesome not to have the restriction of school nights). Finn made sure Kurt was going, and Chandler, sadly, couldn't make it. So, Kurt was without his quasi-boyfriend for the night, but Puck had no way of getting through his security set-up of women. So, he waited.
"Hey, dude," Finn said, sitting next to him at the 'bar.' Apparently, this place didn't serve alcohol, so there was no reason for Puck to have brought his fake ID.
"'Sup?"
"Where's Kurt?" Finn seemed almost as invested in this as Puck was.
"Behind the wall of women," he replied, pointing to the other side of the bar, where Tina, Mercedes, Santana, and Kurt were sitting and chatting. Quinn was dancing with Brittany, Sam, and Artie, and Rachel was arguing with the manager about the karaoke machine.
"Dude, you gotta get him out of there somehow." Puck shook his head and snorted. Finn's thinking was so unoriginal.
"I don't have to find him." Finn looked at him quizzically. "He's gonna find me."
"Dude, what are you thinking?"
"I think I need to go talk to your girlfriend," Puck replied, hopping off his stool and heading out across the dance floor before Finn could ask any more stupid questions. But he was just a little bit too late.
"Hello, everyone," Rachel said into the microphone from a fairly deserted corner of the restaurant. "My name is Rachel Berry-"
"Hi, Rachel!" Everyone who didn't know her yelled in reply. Everyone who did know her groaned, because they knew what was happening.
"Hello, and I'll be singing Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol."
As Rachel started crooning out her thousandth love song directed towards Finn, couples began forming on the dance floor. Mercedes stepped away from Kurt's side and joined Sam on the dance floor, and Tina did the same with Mike. Brittany hopped into Artie's lap, and he spun them in a slow circle, the same way they had danced while they were dating. Santana looked pissed, the only person still protecting Kurt from... well, him. Quinn, who had already been on the dance floor, was turning down about a thousand creepy guys. Puck almost went over to her, but he was a little too late again. Finn had walked over and held out a hand, which she accepted with a little smile. That was on the mend, somehow.
One of the same guys who had asked Quinn to dance went over and asked Santana. She accepted with a very seductive smirk, and he led her out onto the dance floor. Kurt was all alone. Perfect... but not.
When had all these gay guys popped up in Lima? Puck wondered to himself as one of the only guys on the floor who hadn't asked Quinn to dance walked over to Kurt and clearly asked him. Kurt, with a little blush and a smile, accepted, allowing himself to be lead out onto the dance floor by some guy who Puck was willing to bet was an idiotic jock from Lima Vo-Tech. Somehow, Puck was the only person without someone to dance with. Awesome.
He could really use some alcohol right about now.
We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?
I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's
Bursting into life
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's
Bursting into life
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things
Will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?
By the time they had been at Planet Rose for an hour, Rachel was the only one who had sung anything, and Finn had spent a ridiculous amount of time lavishing praise on her. Rachel's power was in her belting, it really wasn't all that good.
Kurt was too busy to be jealous though. Technically, he had a quasi-boyfriend, and as if Chandler wasn't enough, he also had an obnoxious Puck. He didn't really need a title, he was in a category of his own. However, he had met someone at the karaoke bar, and he had really never thought this through. Karaoke bars were awesome places to meet guys. It was like a giant, inter-school dance where Kurt got the chance to show off his talents. Really, where could be better?
Matthias was his name, but even before Kurt had heard the name, he could tell his new friend was Greek. He was about an inch taller than Puck, well built, with dark curly hair, dark eyes, and a very prominent nose, with a bump along the bridge. He was very cute, with tanned skin, and Kurt was actually enjoying talking to him. Too bad he was only visiting family for a summer vacation.
"So, I admit to knowing very little about the geography of Greece, but where do you live?" Kurt asked. Matthias had asked about a billion questions about Kurt and life in the United States, but Kurt hadn't gotten the chance to ask any of his own.
"Piraeus," he replied. "It's a port city just a few miles from Athens. On the coast. Nice, urban, big."
"So, the opposite of Lima?"
"Pretty much," Matthias agreed with a laugh. "Same views of us too."
"Oh?"
"No marriage or adoption." Matthias shrugged. "I go to Athens Pride whenever I can though, and everything's under consideration."
"Sounds a little bit better."
"Perhaps, but we can get married over here, no?"
"Are you asking?" Kurt teased, and thankfully, he laughed.
"Maybe not yet."
"In some places, yes. The wonderful and awful thing about this country, the thing that comes back to bite it time and time again on the ass, is the difference between state laws and federal laws, and thus the rights granted to each."
"I'm afraid you've lost me."
"In some states gay people can married, in some they can't. In some states gay people can adopt, a lot more than where they can get married actually, and in others they can't. It's complicated and awful."
"Sounds it, but this is depressing!" he announced, slamming down his glass. "Let's go dance some more."
"Sounds good to me," Kurt said, letting Matthias take his hand and lead him back out onto the dance floor.
"So, I'm not going to say my name because I don't want everyone yelling it back at me like this is some kind of AA meeting," a voice said into the microphone, and crap, "but I'll be singing Nothin' on You by B.o.B. and Bruno Mars."
Beautiful girls, all over the world
I could be chasin' but my time would be wasted
They got nothin' on you, baby
Nothin' on you, baby
"I wonder who this is for," Matthias mused as they danced, and Kurt had no good answer for that. He had an answer, but it wasn't really one that he liked. Puck was serenading him, subtly, in front of a room full of people. At least, that was Kurt's best guess, and judging by the annoyed expression of Quinn (who had found a stranger to dance with), he was right.
They might say hi, and I might say hey
But you shouldn't worry about what they say
'Cause they got nothin' on you, baby
Nothin' on you baby
I know you feel where I'm comin' from
Regardless of the things in my past that I've done
Most of it really was for the hell of the fun
On the carousel, so around I spun
With no direction, just tryna get some
Tryna chase skirts, livin' in the summer sun
And so I lost more than I had ever won
And honestly, I ended up with none
Okay, so the song was appropriate. It didn't make the gesture any more appropriate. All of the New Directions were looking at him, and judging by Matthias' confused look, he was starting to figure it out. He was going to kill Puck.
"Is this about you?" Matthias asked as Puck headed from the edge of the dance floor (the tiny little portion of it which was saved for the person singing), and began moving through the couples towards where Kurt and Matthias were dancing. Why did they have to give him a portable microphone?
There's so much nonsense, it's on my conscience
I'm thinkin' maybe I should get it out
And I don't wanna sound redundant
But I was wonderin' if there was somethin' that you wanna know
But never mind that, we should let it go
'Cause we don't wanna be a TV episode
And all the bad thoughts, just let 'em go
Go, go, go, go!
The karaoke machine was filling in all the annoying echoes, and Kurt had to reluctantly admit that Puck sounded good. He wasn't the best rapper (Artie could still teach him a few things), but he was doing his best. Unfortunately, the pre-chorus was all the time Puck needed to reach Kurt and be singing the chorus directly to him as he danced with his new friend.
Beautiful girls, all over the world
I could be chasin' but my time would be wasted
They got nothin' on you, baby
Nothin' on you, baby
They might say hi, and I might say hey
But you shouldn't worry about what they say
'Cause they got nothin' on you, baby
Nothin' on you, baby
Yeah
"Is he your boyfriend? Do you have a boyfriend? Should I go?" The more Kurt shook his head, the more questions Matthias asked, but thankfully Puck left his side and started singing to other girls on the dance floor. It's like he was trying to piss Kurt off. Well, if he was, he was succeeding.
"He's an idiot ex-boyfriend," that was weird to say, "who thinks we should be back together. Just ignore him," Kurt explained once Puck was out of earshot, rapping to a pretty blonde.
"I think I can do that," Matthias said with a hesitant smile, and they continued dancing.
Hand down, there will never be another one
I been around and I never seen another one
Because your style ain't really got nothin' on
And you wild when you ain't got nothin' on
Baby, you the whole package, plus you pay your taxes
And you keep it real while them other stay plastic
You're my Silver Surfer call me Mr. Fantastic
Stop... now think about it
Kurt blushed a little at the suggestive lyrics (not that Puck would know, of course), and Matthias looked a little concerned. So, the song wasn't perfect.
The women of the club looked a little surprised when Puck said 'Silver Surfer' instead of 'Wonder Woman,' but he shrugged like he had just gotten the words wrong. As far as Kurt knew it was the only place in the song that referenced the gender of the person being serenaded (which was more proof used in the war over whether or not Bruno Mars was gay), and Puck had changed it deliberately. Kurt huffed a sigh, and when Matthias looked at him quizzically, he just shook his head.
I've been to London, I've been to Paris
Even way out there to Tokyo
Back home down in Georgia, to New Orleans
But you always steal the show
And just like that, babe, you got me froze
Like a Nintendo 64
If you never knew, well, now you know
Know, know, know, know!
Except for, of course, right there, and Puck changed it again. This time, no one seemed to notice, but it was... sweet. And frustrating. But mostly sweet.
Beautiful girls, all over the world
I could be chasin' but my time would be wasted
They got nothin' on you, baby
Nothin' on you, baby
Puck sidled over towards them again, and this time Matthias sighed. He really believed Kurt's story... but, of course, it wasn't a story. It was true. Just simplified. But very true. Puck was technically an ex-boyfriend who thought they should get back together. So, very simplified. But very true.
They might say hi, and I might say hey
But you shouldn't worry about what they say
'Cause they got nothin' on you, baby
Nothin' on you, baby
Yeah
Puck had the stones to give Kurt a kiss on the cheek as he headed off to sing to the rest of the bar, and Kurt almost turned and slapped him. Almost. He was being ridiculous.
Where I go, I'm always hearin' yo' name
And no matter where I'm at, babe, you make me wanna sing
Whether a bus, or a plane, or a car, or a train
No sexy girls in my brain, and you the one to blame
He couldn't be thinking on his feet of how to change the lyrics like that. No way. He had planned this... and it was just like the roses, wasn't it? And the musical too. And, of course, Rachel and Quinn. Kurt had to begrudgingly admit (but only to himself), Puck was good.
Beautiful girls, all over the world
I could be chasin' but my time would be wasted
They got nothin' on you, baby
Nothin' on you, baby
They might say hi, and I might say hey
But you shouldn't worry about what they say
'Cause they got nothin' on you, baby
Nothin' on you, baby
Yeah
Puck didn't bother to sing the outro, giving the microphone back to the manager to clapping, and the music resumed, as if there hadn't been a few minutes where Kurt was in his own personal brand of hell.
Kurt was still dancing with that same damn guy two or three songs after Puck had sang to him, and he hadn't come over to talk to Puck at all, which was a little annoying. Speaking of annoying, Rachel was still talking, wasn't she?
"I'm starting to get suspicious, Noah," she said in her usual tone of condescension. "Quinn told me that you told her that this was my idea, and she told me this because Mercedes told Quinn that you told her that this was her idea, with my help. Everything in this equation seems to trace back to you."
"Which is Rachel's way of asking you why you planned this whole thing," Quinn said from his other side, and maybe it wasn't his best idea to try to make them friends. They were ganging up on him, and he didn't appreciate.
"No," Rachel corrected her, "that's my way of saying why did you point fingers?"
"Because if Kurt thought he had planned this..." Quinn started the sentence to encourage the rest of the answer out of Rachel, the same way so many teachers had done to him.
"Kurt wouldn't have come and Puck wouldn't have gotten the chance to serenade him and try to push the cute guy he's dancing with away!" Rachel said as if it was an epiphany, and Quinn rolled her eyes.
"Exactly."
"He's not cute." Puck was the one to correct her that time, and they both looked at him disbelievingly. "He's not. His nose is almost as big as Rachel's."
"I'm cute!" Rachel objected.
"Your nose isn't."
"Say whatever you want, Puck." Quinn was rolling her eyes again.
"If you guys are gonna start claiming that I like guys," which he didn't, but that wasn't the argument at hand, "I at least get to pass judgment on them."
"I thought you weren't gay," Quinn said, rolling her eyes for the third time and ordering a virgin Strawberry Daiquiri from the all-too-eager bartender.
"I'm not."
"He's bisexual," Rachel corrected, and Puck gave up.
"Whatever. Point is, he's not cute."
"Yes, he is," they both said at the same time.
Having been on the dance floor for about an hour, Matthias lead him off to the side. "So, it's kind of late, and my family worries about me getting lost enough."
"You came from a big city and they're worried about you getting lost in a small town?" Kurt asked.
"I didn't say it makes sense," Matthias said with a little laugh, "but they do worry. So here is my number," Matthias handed him a piece of paper, "and I hope I'll see you again before I leave."
"I hope you will too." Wow. Just wow.
"Bye," Matthias said with a smile, and he kissed Kurt softly right on the corner of his mouth. "Sorry, European habits," he apologized, but Kurt shrugged.
"It's fine. More than fine."
"See you later, Kurt." Matthias gave him a quick hug before leaving. Kurt smiled briefly to himself (apparently, he was a cute guy magnet now), and turned back towards his friends. Puck, Quinn, and Rachel, who were all standing together at the bar, were watching him. Quinn and Rachel looked pleased, Puck looked annoyed. Really, he had no right.
Kurt stormed up to him, doing his best to look annoyed and intimidating. Judging by Rachel's giggle and Quinn elbowing her, it really wasn't working. "Conversation. Now," he demanded in his iciest tones, and Puck just nodded.
"Excuse us, ladies." Kurt assumed Puck was dismissing them, but instead Puck grabbed his hand (ignoring his attempts to pull away), and lead him out onto the dance floor.
Turn up the music
Let's get out on the floor
I like to move it
Come and give me some more
"You're-"
"What gives you the right to serenade me?" Kurt demanded of Puck before he could say anything.
"What gives that guy the right to kiss you at the door?" Puck shrugged. "It's a free country." Puck was dancing, but Kurt was stubbornly remaining still (despite how much he loved this song).
Watch me getting physical
Out of control
There's people watching me
I never miss a beat
"He didn't kiss me," Kurt corrected Puck. "Well, not on the mouth," Kurt corrected himself.
"Looked pretty damn close," Puck argued, trying and failing to twirl Kurt against his will.
"What if I wanted him to?"
"Then that would be the second guy you've kissed in the past four days. I thought you were classier than that." Kurt huffed. Puck had no right to judge him.
"At least both of those guys are decent to me." Puck looked... surprisingly angry.
Still the night, kill the lights
Feel it under your skin
Time is right, keep it tight
'Cause it's pulling you in
"How am I not decent to you?"
"Taking advantage of my feelings to try and convince me to sleep with you?" People were staring, but Kurt didn't particularly care.
"What about now?" What? "How am I not decent to you? That's what I asked. Not what I've done to you before. I know, I did a crappy thing. Can't you see that I'm trying to make up for it?"
"Try harder."
Wrap it up, you can't stop
'Cause it feels like an overdose
"What do you want from me?" Puck demanded, and he had stopped dancing too. "I sent you flowers, I plan us romantic dates, I serenade you. And you, in return, throw out all my flowers, yeah, Finn told me about that, go out on those dates with some other guy and make out with him on the doorstep, and dance with a different guy while I'm singing to you. Who's the asshole here?"
"Kiss him," some random girl next to them encouraged.
"Shut up," Kurt snapped at her. When Puck chuckled, he added, "You too. You broke my heart, do you seriously think flowers and champagne and a song are going to change my feelings towards you?"
"What do you want from me?" Puck demanded.
Oh, oh, evacuate the dance floor
Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound
Oh, oh, stop, this beat is killing me
Hey Dr. DJ, let the music take me underground
"Someone who actually cares about me," Kurt replied, trying not to let his anger get the best of him. "Someone who actually wants to be with me, not just to sleep with me. Someone who's willing to admit to himself that he has feelings for me. Someone who's willing to admit to the rest of the world that he's attracted to guys." It was at this point that Puck looked at the ground, rather than staring Kurt down. "Someone who's willing to fall in love, who doesn't think romance is stupid. Someone who doesn't have a list of notches in his bedpost! Someone who's everything you're not."
Oh, oh, evacuate the dance floor
Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound
Oh, oh, stop, this beat is killing me
Hey Dr. DJ, come burn this place right down to the ground
Kurt had stormed out of Planet Rose after giving Puck a little speech about everything he needed from a relationship. Puck had hung around for a little bit, convincing Finn to convince the bartender to give them some of the booze in the back, but they didn't stick around long. Quinn, who was completely sober, drove both of them home, dropping off Puck first and then driving Finn to the Hudson-Hummel household (which, shortly, would include Sam, because his parents were moving away). Puck would pay good money to hear the conversation in that car.
Puck was still a little buzzed when he got home, but not enough that he couldn't stop into his sister's room and make sure she was asleep. She was all tucked in, so he gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before heading to his own room.
He didn't really want to think about what Kurt had said at the club. He had given a whole list of reasons for them not to be together, not one of which was on Finn's list of twenty-three.
This was totally spontaneous, he thought to himself as he dialed Kurt's number. It wasn't a prong, and it wasn't something he had thought through, but he could totally do this.
"Why are you calling me?" Kurt demanded.
"Why'd you pick up?" Puck asked, his own voice ringing in his ears a little. "Did you think it was cute Greek guy?" Crap, Puck had admitted he was cute. At least Quinn and Rachel weren't there.
"I didn't give him my number. Are you drunk?"
"Getting there."
"I'm hanging up," Kurt announced.
"Don't!" Puck yelled at an unnecessarily loud volume. "I wanna talk to you."
"That is generally the reason one person calls another, yes," Kurt said sassily, but at least he hadn't hung up.
"Well, kind of. I wanna sing to you."
"Not again." He still didn't hang up.
"And the singer's totally Jewish," Puck added, because yeah, he was.
"How did you get away with Nothin' on You then?" Kurt asked, and even buzzed, Puck could tell he was smirking.
"Bruno Mars is a fourth Jewish." Kurt let out a frustrated huff, and Puck smiled. "Plus, isn't he gay?"
"Undetermined," Kurt replied snappily. "Are you going to sing to me, or can I go to bed now?"
You were Juliet and I was into you
And I asked you out till you couldn't say no
And you finally felt it too
I drove you down the boulevard
That's where you took my heart
And gave me yours instead
And every day you find new ways to be beautiful
Kurt had let slip a soft little 'aw,' and this was totally working. Plus, Jaron was Jewish.
You laugh at the garden
That we grow in the lawn
Drink coffee in the kitchen
With no make-up on
Sing all the wrong words
To my favorite songs
You're beautiful
And that's beautiful
You got lines on your face
From sleeping on me
Call me at work
'Cause you lost your key
You go to buy a dog
And you come home with three
You're beautiful
And that's beautiful to me
You turn every head
When you walk into a room
But your kindness
And your sweetened soul
Lingers like perfume
Babe, you could have gone with Romeo
But you stayed with me instead
And every day I find new ways
That make you beautiful
You say, honey give me roses
But don't buy red
You need forty-six pillows
All over the bed
Guess every punch line
Before it's said
You're beautiful
And that's beautiful
Whatcha doing with a guy like me?
You're so cool
And I'm high tea
I don't deserve to have a guy
As beautiful as you
Ya, you laugh at the garden
That we grow in the lawn
Drink coffee in the kitchen
With no make-up on
Sing all the wrong words
To my favorite songs
You're beautiful
And that's beautiful
You got lines on your face
From sleeping on me
Call me a work
'Cause you lost your key
You go to buy a dog
And you come home with three
You're beautiful
And that's beautiful to me
You're so beautiful
And that's beautiful to me
"That was very cute," Kurt said after a few moments of silence, "but it doesn't make a difference."
"Look, all those things you said at the club... you totally deserve a guy like that. And maybe I'm not a sap like Blaine or Chandler, but I do care about you, and want to be with you. I know I have feelings for you, even though they're not very badass." Kurt was giggling, but Puck was totally serious. "And everyone totally knows I like you, and I'll totally admit that if you make Quinn and Rachel stop trying to pin down my sexuality."
"Deal," Kurt said, and it sounded like he was smiling.
"I don't really know anything about love yet, but I'm trying to romance you. Maybe I just suck at it. And if you're waiting for a guy who has all of those things and doesn't have any flaws... you're in for a long wait, princess."
"What do you want from me, Puck? It's late."
"One date. I want you to come over here on Wednesday, and let me try and fail to romance you. Just one date."
"What about the list?"
"One date."
Kurt sighed. "Fine. One date." For a moment, Puck thought Kurt had hung up on him, but after a few seconds of silence, Kurt added, "And you're not bad at romance." Then Kurt hung up on him.
A/N: Yay! One date! I have to apologize for the wait. I was on a business trip without my computer and yadda, yadda, yadda. Lots of excuses. The point is: here is a new chapter. No, Chandler's not gone yet, but Matthias is never coming back (I just needed him to delay things). If Kurt seems a bit... sporadic, never fear. You'll get an inside look into what he's thinking next chapter as Puck prepares for the most romantic date ever.
Songs used (I apologize there are so many, but they were at a club):
'Chasing Cars' by Snow Patrol
'Nothin' on You' by B.o.B featuring Bruno Mars (who is one-fourth Jewish)
'Evacuate the Dance Floor' by Cascada
'That's Beautiful to Me' by Jaron and the Long Road to Love (Jaron is 100% an Orthodox Jew)
Oh, and the reason I didn't write anything about The Music Man is because I don't actually know anything about The Music Man, and I didn't feel like doing research. I apologize.
Planet Rose, for the record, is a karaoke bar without a stage in New York, New York. It's apparently very cute, I've never been there. I just trasnported it to Ohio for my own purposes.
Reviews are Love.