A/N: When I originally wrote this I was watching the movie What Women Want. This song was inspiring...
Long Way Home
Chapter 25 – Conciliation
I've got you under my skin.
I've got you deep in the heart of me.
So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me.
I've got you under my skin.
I'd tried so not to give in.
I said to myself: this affair never will go so well.
But why should I try to resist when, baby,
I know so well I've got you under my skin?
I'd sacrifice anything come what might
For the sake of havin' you near
In spite of a warnin' voice that comes in the night
And repeats, repeats in my ear:
Don't you know, little fool, you never can win?
Use your mentality, wake up to reality.
But each time that I do just the thought of you
Makes me stop before I begin
Cause I've got you under my skin.*
She awakened to the sound of knocking on the door of her room.
"Jen! Jen, are you awake?"
"Of course I'm awake," she replied irritably, trying to place the voice. A familiar smell wafted under the door and she sat up, rubbing her eyes. Then everything clicked into place and she shot out of bed.
"Haery? Is that you? Give me a minute," she said, hurriedly amending her unclothed state. She went to the basin in the room's corner to quickly wash her face and run damp fingers through her hair before going to open the door.
Haer'Dalis stood in the hallway; a scullion next to him, holding a small tray containing a teapot and cup. Jen noticed immediately however, that the smell emanating from the pot was not tea. She breathed in deeply. Coffee.
"Haery!" she exclaimed happily, "What is this? Where could you possibly have gotten coffee?"
He grinned at her, "As to your first question, 'tis a peace offering. Our conversation last night reminded me of how sadly I've neglected you these past few days my lovely Kestrel and I wish to make amends. And as to the second, I have an acquaintance; an importer of the exotic who recently made a trip to Zakhara where this is grown." He entered the room, motioning to the boy to place the tray on a small table near the window. Jen waited until the scullion left the room, then eagerly poured herself a cup of the rich-smelling brew and took a slow sip. Heaven.
She seated herself on the window's broad low sill, from where she smiled happily at him, "You have no idea how much I've missed this. But you only brought one cup. Don't you want to try it?"
His nose wrinkled in an expression of distaste, "I already have and I must confess I don't understand the appeal. However, my associate assures me that it tastes just as it should." He fell silent, but his eyes lingered on her face observing her obvious enjoyment of his gift.
She sipped quietly for a few minutes and then looked over at Haer'Dalis, "I'm glad to see you." And yeah, especially after last night. "And I want to thank you for the lovely flower and poem you left me." She sighed, "I know you warned me but it seems like there's been no time to talk lately. Do you have to go see Lord Roenall today?"
"I'm pleased to have been missed. As to Lord Roenall, I've reached a rather crucial point in our little plan since he owes me a considerable sum and has asked me to give him some time to gather his resources. I've given him until tomorrow." He grinned, "Although I've made quite sure he'll be unable to pay and will be forced to accept my proposed alternative."
"Which is…?"
"In exchange for erasing his debt of honor, I've asked him to release Nalia from her agreement to marry Isaea and give her to me instead." He chuckled, "Yes indeed, a rich wife will settle the debt nicely."
She looked at him in surprise, the coffee turning into an acid pool in her stomach. "Marry her? Have you talked to Nalia about this?"
"Not in so many words, but I think she is intrigued by Aidan D'Asturias and will not object; particularly if it means gaining a husband more complaisant than Isaea."
"I see," Jen said woodenly. Her mind went back to the Skytower party. What had Nalia said about Haery aka Aidan? He seems…interested in helping others. You know that helping others is important to me. And to meet someone else who feels the same way!
Putting her cup carefully back on the tray, Jen looked over at Haery, "And do you intend to let Nalia know that Aidan and Haer'Dalis are one and the same?"
"Not until the Roenalls release her. I think her part will come to her more naturally if she doesn't know the truth."
"Mmmmm." She'd asked him about his feelings for Nalia the previous night. And as she remembered the exchange she suddenly realized that her question had never been fully answered. And it was true he'd seemed upset about her budding friendship with Anomen, but perhaps that too had simply been a well-acted role. ""Well," she said, "I wish you every happiness." She spoke slowly, attempting to keep her tone casual, "And since I'm going to visit Nalia soon, tell me how I can best further your cause."
Something in her tone made him look at her sharply. "What's the matter, Jen?"
"Nothing," she replied. She struggled to smile and maintain an expression of polite but neutral interest although her stomach was churning rapidly.
He shook his head. "The way you're looking at me says 'tis something." He looked at her a moment longer, studying her. Then he smiled somewhat smugly, reaching out to put a hand under her chin and tilt her face towards him. "Ah Jen. 'Tis not what you think. My feelings for Nalia are no more than for any other member of our party, your own sweet self excluded of course. I have no desire to establish a permanent connection with Nalia, nor will I do so – the offer I made to Lord Roenall is a ruse – nothing else. It simply is part of the role I'm playing."
She nodded and leaned back, hoping that the fervent relief sweeping through her did not show on her face. "If only you didn't play the part so well. And what about poor Nalia? How do you think she's going to feel when she finds out Aidan is really you? She won't be pleased. In fact," she added sardonically, "you might want to start memorizing a Protection from Magical Weapons spell just in case!"
He grinned ruefully, "You're right. 'Twas not well done of me and perhaps 'twill be necessary to make amends. But of more concern to me at present is whether you'll forgive my lack of attention these past few days."
"I'll think about it," she said and picked up her coffee cup, looking at him thoughtfully as she processed his words and her own feelings. I care more than I'd like to admit. And I notice he hasn't said anything about Anomen. She gave herself a mental shake. Honestly, why does this seem so complicated? It doesn't have to be.
With that in mind, she finished her coffee and gave an ecstatic sigh, "I have to admit your peace-offering was inspired. You have no idea what it's like to have coffee again. And such excellent coffee too."
His lips quirked good humouredly as he replied, "So, this is all the thanks I am to receive for such a noble effort?" His face acquired an expression of exaggerated sorrow, "You've injured me sorely, love. To think you prefer coffee to my…company. It makes me feel quite insignificant. Surely you can do better than this." He looked at her expectantly.
Amused, she put down the cup and went over to slide into his waiting arms for a kiss. "Better?" she inquired a few moments later as they stopped to catch their breath.
"An improvement," he admitted, "but the slight still stings. Perhaps another attempt at healing is in order."
"Well, I do have a first aid certificate, but I don't recall this technique being recommended for use on someone who's actually breathing," she said, reaching up to kiss him again. The kiss deepened into something more serious and he pulled her closer, sliding his hands under her shirt to caress the bare skin of her back. As she felt herself beginning to respond to his touch, she thought, Am I ready for this?
For a moment, doubt surged in her mind only to be swept aside as he drew back slightly, and looked down at her. "Don't doubt this bard's feelings for you, Jen," he said rather huskily. "His heart beats only because you will it so." As she kissed him again, she noticed rather abstractedly that the markings on his skin seemed to be growing darker and more pronounced. The pressure of his mouth on hers was intoxicating, drawing her in until what little thought she had left – rational or otherwise – vanished completely. Her hands of their own volition moved up and around his neck and he drew her towards the bed.
Just then, a knock sounded at the door. Lost to rational thought, they ignored it and continued their amorous activity. The knocking didn't stop however, and was soon followed by a familiar voice.
"Jen! I know you're in there, I can hear you moving about!"
Jen rolled back onto the pillow, whispering to Haery, "She's not going to quit, is she?" He shook his head in exasperation. Taking a deep breath, Jen turned her head towards the door calling, "Go away Tristan, I'm busy!"
"Alright, but I have some news and need to talk with you. Which reminds me, I also need to talk with Haer'Dalis. He's not in his room - have you seen him?"
"He's with me," Jen replied, her voice decidedly frosty.
"Oh." The monosyllabic response was fraught with embarrassment. After a moment of silence, Tristan said, "I'll see you later then." This was followed by more silence punctuated by the sound of footsteps moving away from the door.
Jen and Haer'Dalis lay still and then began to laugh as the humor of the situation struck them. They tried to pick up where they'd left off but within a few minutes it became clear that the interruption and certain knowledge that Tristan was waiting had dampened their ardor for the moment.
"It seems the fates would deny us this pleasure for now, my love."
Jen nodded and untangled herself, moving to a sitting position on the edge of the bed. Haer'Dalis followed suit, putting his arm around her. She dropped her head onto his shoulder, saying, "God, it's always something." Finally she rose, going back to the table to pick up her coffee. "I guess this will have to do after all."
They left the room together soon afterwards and made their way down to the common room where Tristan was found sitting and writing a note.
As they approached, she made a face at them; a mixture of embarrassment and apology, "I'm sorry."
Jen nodded, but Haer'Dalis said, "'Tis forgiven, my Raven. Don't think about it further. Come, give us your news."
In response, Tristan handed him a slim leather case. He opened it and began to read. Jen glanced over his shoulder for a minute and then looked at Tristan. "It's the legal agreement to end Nalia's handfasting, isn't it?"
Tristan nodded and said, "It's just a matter of time now. Whenever Haer'Dalis and you are ready. Did you see Nalia last night?"
"Yes," he replied, "We both did. For my part, I plan to visit Lord Roenall tomorrow since he asked for some time in which to either gather his resources or make up his mind to release Nalia. I suspect he'll do neither, but will probably try to leave town. However, I imagine he'll find this rather difficult given that your friend Yoshimo has thoughtfully arranged to have the family watched and will contact me should there be any attempted change in residence.
Tristan grinned hugely at this. "I wouldn't want to be your enemy, Haer'Dalis."
They chatted about the Roenalls and possible plans for a few minutes longer and then Tristan said, "I'll be glad to bring this business to a close. However, Nalia is not the only reason I came to see you this morning."
They looked at her inquiringly and she went on, "It's Anomen. He's been called for his test."
"What does he have to do?" asked Jen
"Well," replied Tristan, "According to Keldorn, tonight he must stand a vigil. Once that is completed, he'll be taken to the Order's Prelate for judgment. Anomen has asked that we witness his judgment tomorrow. He feels quite strongly about it, in fact."
"What about Haery's meeting with Lord Roenall?" asked Jen.
Tristan nodded thoughtfully, "Yes that may be a problem. I think Anomen's test is in the morning, but I don't know that he'll be able to leave the temple for most of the day. But that doesn't prevent the rest of us from visiting the Roenalls although perhaps it will be later in the day than originally planned."
"Well," said Jen, glancing at Haer'Dalis, a smile creeping across her face, "I guess we'll just have to improvise."
The rest of the morning passed pleasantly and Jen soon found herself walking across town beside Haer'Dalis, who carried a small bag containing some clothing and other essentials. Although she did not particularly want to stay with Lila, she had given some thought to the proposal, eventually realizing the sensibility of the suggestion. They covered the distance to the O'Brion residence in short order and soon found themselves standing at the door.
"I really don't want go in," she said, reaching up to touch Haer'Dalis's cheek.
He smiled down at her reassuringly, "Nor do I want to leave you but it will only be for a short time, my Kestrel. We'll not be parted long."
"Given what you said to Tristan, it seems to me that you'll have things wrapped up tomorrow afternoon so it appears rather silly for me to change my residence at this point or even be involved in any of this."
"Appearances, my lovely Kestrel. Your presence helps maintain the illusion of normalcy and it will be far easier for Nalia to leave in your company than in mine even given a signed agreement. As to changing your residence, you should have been here last night. After all, 'tis all part of the role you've undertaken. But be patient, this play has nearly reached its end and the actors will soon take their bows."
She nodded and reluctantly knocked on the door that was opened almost immediately by an excited Aoife. "You're here, Jen! I can't believe you're going to stay with us!" the child cried.
Jen smiled down at her obvious enthusiasm and then turned to Haery, "I'll be at Nalia's tomorrow as well. So I'll see Aidan there I guess?"
"While Aidan will make an appearance, 'twill be for the purpose of doing business with Lord Roenall, not to pay a social call," he replied. "For that would serve no purpose other than to upset the both of us, given that my attentions must be directed towards her rather than where I would want them to be."
"True." she said with a smile. And taking the case from him, she turned and followed Aoife into the house.
*Endnotes:
1. Basie Orchestra; Prime Artist: Frank Sinatra, Written by: Cole Porter (C. Albert P.),From the Film: Born To Dance, 1936