Already my plan to avoid Takashi had failed. I got to school early for the purpose of using the library to help me with some homework that had escaped my notice and was due next week. The halls were empty save for a few students and teachers so I went into the library with a peaceful expression, settling in a corner on the floor and had one pile of books neatly stacked next to me, my homework book open on my other side and the first book in my lap as I scanned over the pages, making notes and jotting down references.
I was so engrossed in my study that I didn't notice anyone standing above me until I looked up and found a looming figure above me, the light above his head casting his entire face into shadow however I already could tell who it was just by the aura they radiated, it made me shrink back slightly, squinting from the light before finally he moved and his features came to visibility. "Mori-senpai…" I started before trailing off, feeling my heart begin to beat faster in my chest and I blushed, quickly turning my head away.
Looking for an excuse to get away from him I picked up the stack of books I was finished with and made to put them back, getting up and carrying them back to the shelves where I slid them back into place one by one, holding them in the crook of my arm until I had to stretch up for the last one, trying to reach the higher shelf by I was short by just an inch, barely able to touch the lip however a hand reached out and took the book from me, easily sliding it back into place as I looked up jerkily at Mori. "Uh…um…t-thank you."
"No problem." His baritone voice sent a shiver up my spine and my throat went dry. Confound these physical reactions, they make no sense. I felt like I was about to keel over from light headedness my heart was beating so fast. Be still already! "Katsumi…" He began before stopping, unsure of what to say so I gave a slight squeak as I smiled, my throat making the strange noise before I returned to my quiet corner and swiftly resumed my seat, burying my nose in a book as a means to hide my face.
Much to my unease Mori followed me, moving my last pile of books aside slightly to sit down right next to me however I noted how he took care to place a small amount of distance between us so that we weren't touching however it hardly made a difference. He was so close that I could hear his slow, steady breathing. Was I the only one who got so physically affected by being close to someone that I'm attracted to? More so when I'm alone with them?
I had been staring at my page for a full minute when Mori reached out and gently pulled it away from my face, an amused look touching his mouth as my head jerked upright. "You cannot read with the pages so close." He informed me pointedly and I blinked at the book, realising that I had literally buried myself in the pages.
"Oh. Right." I answered then proceeded to read properly however my mind…and eyes…kept on wandering to the boy next to me. He sat silently now, inspecting a book curiously but didn't open it to read. The silence was killing me, I felt like the tension was building so high that a lightning strike would be less electrifying. Clearing my throat I casually tried to engage in conversation. "So…where's Honey-kun? You two are always inseparable."
"Mitsukune is ill." Mori revealed and instantly I balked, snapping my book shut and turned to look at him properly.
"What? What's the matter with him? It's not serious is it? He seemed alright when I saw him yesterday, he was his usual bright self." I worried, my mind quickly becoming distracted. If Honey wasn't well then maybe I should stop by his house with something to cheer him up, being sick really does suck.
"It's a stomach bug, he'll be fine in a day or so." Mori informed so I sighed with relief. At least it wasn't the flu or anything. Now what could I bring Honey to make him feel better? Food was probably out of the question, maybe a get well card? That won't look like very much on its own though. I'll have to think about that one. "Katsumi." I turned my head to look at him, seeing that he wasn't looking at me and he had his eyes closed as he'd spoken my name. I waited for a moment to see if he'd speak but when he didn't I prompted him.
"Yes?" Wordlessly Mori lifted his arm up and reached out, my eyes watching his hand with slight caution as it moved around my back then dropped down, curling around my shoulder to then pull me against him. I gave a slight inhale of surprise, tensing thickly as Mori pulled me against his solid body and I refused to relax against him, leaning away as much as I could without breaking the contact of his arm around me.
Once he had me held against him Mori did not move or open his eyes, just continued to hold me as I remained curled up into myself, arms pressed against my chest with my eyes fixated on the floor. Slowly his irresistible warmth began to seep into me and I found my muscles relenting their tension, relaxing bit by bit until I was completely lax against Mori, my eyes sliding shut of their own accord until I felt an immeasurable wave of peace wash over me like a soft velvet blanket.
We remained like that until the first bell rang and quickly I snapped to my senses, leaping away from Mori and scrambled back from him until my back hit the bookcase with a jolt, making me grunt when a stray book hit my head and I flinched from the impact whilst blushing scarlet. "I…uh…um…I…" Stumbling over my words I quickly grabbed my things together, shoving the last books onto the shelf. "I've got to go."
And like a coward, I ran. I ran away from Mori, leaving him sitting on the floor of the library with my head bowed in shame. This is not how you're supposed to forget about him, Katsumi! Honestly girl, what happened to your invulnerability to boys? Did you leave it back in France or something? In a way I was glad that I arrived a little late to lessons because it didn't give Tamaki the chance to try and talk to me as the teacher walked in almost the moment I sat down and called for silence.
My head was screaming with thoughts, mostly of Mori but no matter how many times I tried to silence them they just came back louder until I was gripping my head over my desk, clenching my teeth tightly. "…ki…Ara…Araki!" My head snapped up when I heard my teacher practically shouting my name, blinking at her innocently as she sighed impatiently. "If you would be so kind as to pay attention, Miss Araki."
"Yes sensei, I'm sorry." I apologised, rubbing my head with a soft exhale before attempting to concentrate on the lesson. When break came I turned my head and looked out of the window, spacing out as I gazed up at the open blue sky. Spring would be here soon and the blossoms would bloom again. Maybe I could take Kimiko, Naoki and Yuri out for a picnic in the park once they were in bloom, I think that would be a very nice family day out. We could feed the fish and maybe see if there are any lantern events.
Tamaki didn't come to talk to me during break which I was silently glad for. I didn't feel like talking to anyone at the moment, I was in a strange mood and wasn't able to tell if I'd be angry or just annoyed with anyone who'd try to make conversation with me. As my break time slipped away I was then returned to the focus on lessons, struggling to comprehend the meaning of poetry and the reasoning poets had for writing what they did.
Finally lunch time rolled around and I gathered my things together before striding out of the room before anyone else, heading straight for the library with my packed lunch where I found Haruhi waiting for me already. "Hey, how are you feeling?"
"A little irked, I have a headache." I admitted grumpily, sitting down next to her and pulled out my packed lunch, seeing that she had already started on hers. I didn't feel too hungry so I pushed it towards her in a gesture that we should share and when she saw I had some of her favourites she did not hesitate to accept.
"I think you might have frightened Tamaki-senpai last night." Haruhi began, munching happily on her sushi. "He thinks you were serious when you threatened to consider transferring schools." I couldn't help but hit my head on the table in despair. Tamaki really needs to stop taking things so seriously.
"Of course I wasn't serious, maybe only for a moment but that's all." I said, making sure to keep my voice down so that we wouldn't receive any glares from the scary librarian. "I was just annoyed that Kimiko's evening had been interrupted the way it was. We're going out to celebrate the success this evening at her favourite restaurant."
"That sounds great, order some fancy tuna for me." Haruhi grinned so I returned the expression before taking a further nibble at my lunch. "So, do you want to tell me what's been on your mind?" I looked at her in surprise before feigning innocence to which she only scoffed. "You can't fool me with that look. I know something's been bothering you for a while now, you just don't talk about it." Haruhi said to me in a very diplomatic and factual manner. "If you wanted to talk then I'm always here, I can keep secrets better than anyone else you know."
"I know that, it's just…I don't tend to talk about this sort of stuff with anyone." I admitted. "Mostly because I've never had troubles with it before…"
"Oh? So is it guy troubles?" How was she so attentive? Honestly, her ability to tell exactly what I'm thinking can astound me sometimes.
"In a sense." Beginning to ease on the rope slightly I tried to venture into the unknown experience called girl talk. "Not really trouble as much just…difficulty. I just can't stop thinking about him and it's driving me nuts! All I want is my peace back and then I'll be fine but I know it's going to take time, the thing is I'm just not very patient." Exhaling deeply I slumped in my chair, now pushing my food completely away from me having lost all appetite.
"Well, I'm not exactly sure what advice to give, I've never had a boyfriend before or had guy troubles so…" Haruhi stuck her next mouthful into her mouth then reached out with a hand to pat my shoulder reassuringly in the only form of consolidation she could think of. It made me smile and I felt a little better, enough so to laugh at the hopelessness of us both. I was grateful she didn't ask who it was as I definitely didn't feel like sharing that information.
Haruhi left once she was finished eating to talk with a teacher about some assignment which left me to sort through my booklist of the things I wanted to read for both study and pleasure. I should really brush up on my poetry and work on it as at the moment it was all just senseless nonsense to me so I went in search of a poetry collection first, checking it off the list once I'd found a book or two before moving on.
I had made my way about half way down the list when I got to a book that was out of my reach. We students weren't allowed to use the ladder as it was considered a health and safety risk so only the librarians could get books down from the higher shelves, though I found it rather odd that old ladies were allowed to climb up ladders instead of younger, more fit adolescents.
Rising up onto my toes I gave a little hop, my fingers brushing at the spine. Almost there, I can totally reach it then I won't have to ask the scary lady at the desk. Trust me, you do not want to awake that woman from her lunchtime naps. It's a terrifying experience. Just as I was clawing for every millimetre of distance someone reached up with effortless ease and pulled the book down for me as I dropped down onto my feet, giving a long sigh of relief.
Turning I was about to thank my assistant when I froze in place, staring at Mori as he held out the book for me. "Mori!" I gaped before snapping myself awake, taking the book from him gingerly. This was exactly like this morning only in reverse. "Thanks. Guess being short has its negative points." I noted quietly as a late addition before averting my gaze to anywhere but at him. "You're not following me are you? It's just this is twice we've run into each other in the library…"
"Not as such." He answered smoothly, his passive expression slowly inching into my vision as I gradually gained the confidence to look him in the eye until finally, I found my courage. I levelled eyes with him, inspecting him closely. He gave nothing away, his hands tucked into his pockets as he stood casually, shoulders completely relaxed with his head tilted slightly to the side. "You come here often." It was more of a statement than a question.
"Yes. I normally have a lot of work to do."
"You sit by the window." Mori tilted his head towards the north side windows which overlooked the gardens. When it was hot I'd sit by the open window and receive a refreshing breeze with the scent of flowers and when it was closed I could still look up and out into the gardens. It was my favourite seat. "I see you. Sometimes." A slight redness touched Mori's cheeks and he awkwardly looked away as I tilted my head at him in slight confusion. Where was he going with this? After a few moments of shifting silence I decided to speak.
"Is…there something you wanted? Do you need help finding a book?" I questioned and Mori quickly looked around.
"History." He stated simply. I arched an eyebrow at him questioningly before turning around.
"Okay, the history section is this way." I said slowly, leading the way with my arms still full of books. "It's pretty well labelled so you should be able to find what you're looking for. You should look for the era you want and then the titles go alphabetically. Good luck." I instructed before quickly moving away to another shelf, resuming with my list however I was all too aware of that looming presence not too far away from me. What a simpleton I've turned into. Since when did Araki Katsumi loose her nerve over some boy?
A question frequently asked by myself and yet I still cannot fathom the answer. Life is a funny thing, isn't it? As I scanned through the books I chanced a look through the gap between the books and the shelf to see Mori's back turned to me so I silently drank my fill before he turned around and I quickly busied myself again, not wanting to be caught staring. It's rude after all and I'd be just humiliated.
Once I'd found all of my books I carried them over to a table and began to sort them into topics, carefully aligning them ready for stamping before I looked at my list one last time to check I had every single one I needed. At the bottom I noticed a small scribble that I'd added on later for another book, one that I had almost forgotten so I turned around and head back into the shelves in search of it, running my finger over the books though my eyes were averted once more to Mori.
He was over by the table now as well, a book in hand and he'd settled down to read in a seat that faced me however he was solely focused on the pages in front of him, granting me another chance to just look at him. I find it a strange thing that when you feel so strongly for someone you can't stop looking at them. It's as if the constant image of them so clear in your head brings you comfort and you're afraid that if you look away, that image will fade. Perhaps that's not so whimsical after all, everyone's afraid of something and being lonely is one of my greatest fears. Almost as terrifying as heights. Almost.
Giving my head a small shake I returned to searching the shelves, rising up on my toes to see the ones higher up. Something creaked behind me and I stopped, frowning slightly before turning around. Without warning the bookcase behind me tilted forwards and I gave a cry of alarm, flinging my arms up to shield myself as I dropped down instinctively, a shoot of fear rushing through me with a sharp pang of my heart in my chest as the groaning wood toppled forwards.
A solid weight curled itself around me and suddenly I was flying, my eyes snapping open to find Mori's arms curled around me as the bookcase slammed into the ground with a clattering of books and rustle of pages, the echoing thud filling my ears as I breathed sparingly. Mori's arms were so tight around me that they were the main reason I couldn't breathe, his chest acting as my pillow as we both lay on our sides where Mori had pulled me out of the way and skidded over the polished floor.
His breath was warm against my ear and I felt an answering shiver run down my spin as it splayed against my neck, the strength of his grip causing my stomach to knot tightly until it was a tangled mess, my cheeks flushed as bright as crimson. The only thing that snapped me out of my daze was the sound of feet rushing away from us. Had someone pushed that case over? Where they actually trying to hit me or had it been an accident?
"Katsumi. Are you hurt?" Mori's voice was thick with worry and concern as he lifted himself up and looked down at me, arms still encasing me though now I lay on the floor looking up at him blinkingly.
"N-no. No I'm fine. Thank you, I was almost squished like a bug." Over from the desk the librarian gave a loud snore, shifting slightly in her seat but gave no other indication that she had awoken by the loud crashing sound. Thank the lord. "We'd better get this cleaned up before she wakes up, she's always in a foul mood right after a nap."
"Yeah." Mori agreed but didn't move. He seemed a little…awe struck. Like he couldn't take his eyes off me but the more he just stared the more I felt embarrassed. I was sprawled over the floor after all and although he wasn't straddling me our bodies were pretty close and I could feel the heat begin to spread from my cheeks all the way down my body.
"Uh…Mori-senpai? We're still on the floor." I reminded him and he blinked as if he was only just realising this. He glanced around briefly before fixing his eyes on me once more, leaning closer towards my face and I instinctively snatched my breath to me.
"Call me Takashi." His low voice murmured sensuously and I pressed my eyes shut momentarily to gather my defences before taking a deep breath.
"Takashi I…I think we should get up." I told him weakly, unable to look him in the eye so I kept my head turned, scowling in irritation at myself. Finally Mori shifted his weight and rose to his feet, extending a hand down to me but I refused to take it, not trusting my body's reactions should I actually touch him. I'm a mess, honestly. I pushed myself up onto my feet and walked over to the bookcase, starting to pick up some fallen books whilst Mori lifted the case up with seeming ease, pushing it back into place and I started to stack the books back in order.
I completed my task in silence, sliding the books back one after another as Mori did the same however I became increasingly aware that he kept on looking over to me with an expression that I couldn't quite place. It appeared hesitant but also deeply reflective, making me shift uncomfortably as I crouched down and picked up more books from the floor, carefully closing them as not to crease the pages.
My hand reached out for a book to my left the same time Mori went for it and his hand settled on top of mine accidentally, making me halt completely and look up to meet his gaze. He looked a little guilty about the contact, a slight blush touching his cheeks and he averted his eyes awkwardly, unsure of what to do.
Suddenly I couldn't take it anymore. I snatched back my hand and jumped to my feet in a rush, hugging an arm to me in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I have to go." I excused in a rush before fleeing the scene, stopping only to grab my bag before I ran for the exit, abandoning all the books in order to escape. I didn't stop running until I was a safe distance away, exhaling with relief and moving towards my next lesson.
On my way I passed the notice board where a large group of girls had gathered and they were all whispering, squealing and hyperventilating with one another, drawing my interest so I stopped and tried to get a look at what they were looking at. "What's going on?" I asked one of the girls and she turned to me with a smile.
"The host club have posted their listings for the people who have received parts in the theatre production, I'm going to be in the singing chorus!" She squealed happily so I smiled for her.
"Good for you, that's great." I answered before making to move off.
"Wait! Haven't you checked what role you're playing yet? Take a look!" The girl pushed me towards the front through the crowds and I exhaled, resigning to defeat and took a quick glance, hoping to find my name among the assistants or something. Nothing. I searched the dance chorus but still no name, so I dared to begin looking through the main cast. Up, up, up until…
"TAMAKI! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"