Tymaporer: I don't consider myself misanthropic or anti patriotic at all merely because I loathe corruption and self-righteous hypocrisy. I'm just not afraid to call it what it is. I have great faith in humanity though it wavers at times and I'm sure there are many who would accuse me of being a whiny liberal by what I include in this story. But as Keith Olbermann would say: I'm not a liberal, I'm an American. Thanks for reviewing :)
Tarva: Why do you say Harlene is shallow? I think I know why, but I'd rather hear you confirm it before I make any assumptions. Your comments regarding Dooku are addressed in this chapter, but if you still have questions feel free to ask. And Anakin does appear in this chapter.
xXx
"Are you okay?"
"What makes you think I'm not?"
"I know you didn't just ask that."
"Why should I not be okay when things always turn out for the better?"
"But—"
"I've never hurt you out of anger before and I hope I never will. But if you don't drop it right now, you will regret it I promise you."
"…fine."
"Something else is on your mind."
"Yes, and I don't think it's just paranoia. I know that Dooku keeps on insisting Maul had a sexual interest in her only in the hopes that her Sith-like qualities will rule her, but the argument he makes…and it has been nagging me a bit before…"
"You're not the only one."
"You've researched Iridonian physiology before, haven't you? Yeah, I know that little drawback for their will power isn't Lucasfilm canon, but it's very believable. Power always, always comes at a price."
"I have researched it. She's right. He's wasn't a pervert, but he did have a sexual interest in her, albeit a detached one. Remember, sexuality has many different definitions to it. If I were to compare it to something it would be to a pre-adolescent child having a crush on an older person. They don't have a clear meaning of what sex is or how to show sexual affection, but there's the awareness that the other person is of the opposite sex and the potential for attraction that's ingrained in their genes."
"Or maybe even the Oedipal Complex. A five-year old saying they want to marry their opposite sex parent is the growing awareness of sexuality rather than blatant sexuality."
"If she were sixteen or even fourteen, it wouldn't have been so detached. But she was eleven. Therefore Count Dooku will just have to try something new."
xXx
Grievous thought it would have been impossible to feel more rage when Ronderu died or when the Republic condemned his people to starvation and death.
He was wrong.
"You are certain?" he bit out the words alternating them with tormenting the roof of his mouth with his tongue.
"Yes, General," the hologram of Mastikin was dark with malice. "I am certain."
"And the Republic?"
"We were ignored. Completely."
"Tell the others to prepare. I am leaving right now."
Mastikin looked mildly shocked. "General--?"
"Is there a problem, brother?"
"No."
"Then we have nothing more to discuss. We know what we must do."
Grievous stormed out of the communications room. He gathered what little belongings he had which consisted mainly of melee weapons and ordered his droid pilot to prepare his vessel.
"General?"
"You do not need to linger in the doorway."
Harlene stepped inside his quarters eyeing the cases he was preparing. "Are you packing?"
"Yes," he said with distracted curtness.
"Do you have another mission?"
"Not for the Banking Clan."
"You're upset," she moved closer. "Did something happen?"
With a roar, Grievous hurled a spear across the room. The tip embedded in the wall with a 'skreeet!'.
"The Huk…the Republic," he was all but hyperventilating with malevolence. "They have gone too far. They'll pay. Every single one of them…"
"What happened?"
He stared at her face. Her Human face. Reflexive hatred twisted his features, but he beat it back. She did not deserve his wrath.
"We Kaleesh are a race that holds the dead in high honor," he said. "Those who serve the gods well in life become gods after they die. Every single soldier who has fought under my command deserves such a blessing a thousand times over," he retrieved his spear, yanking it roughly from the wall. "The Huk…the soulless bugs have lived up their name once again. They have desecrated the burial grounds we built when we claimed the colony worlds. My brothers and sisters have been violated beyond all measure."
"You're going to restart the Huk war?"
"No. I am continuing it. It was merely delayed."
"But what about San Hill? Kalee's economy has been rebuilt, but your contract won't give you leave for months."
"That is irrelevant," a servant droid entered the room and took the packed belongings away. "I will return after the Huk are extinct. I do not go back on my word."
"So, you're going to Kalee now to get your Izvoshra?"
"Yes."
She smiled at him. "Good luck then, General. Give 'em hell for me too."
Grievous stared at her feeling an almost uncomfortable amount of ambivalence.
This is a warrior whether you like it or not.
"If you wish…you could come with me."
Her surprise was comical. "What?"
"You are different. You are a warrior. You believe in honor and justice. If you truly despise the Huk and the Republic so, then fight by my side."
"Your Izvoshra—"
"—do not question my judgment when I have given my final word. I will not say they will be unsuspicious, but they will soon see how different you are. You will earn their respect."
She was visible tempted he could tell. But then she sighed in a melancholy manner.
"I can't tell you how much that means to me, General. I am…completely honored that you respect and trust me so. I would love to fight the Huk with you, but I can't interfere. Not directly. My superiors gave me strict orders. But if they hadn't I would say yes in an instant."
"I know." After a long pause he went up to her and cupped her face. Her skin was as soft and fragile as he thought.
He found he didn't care.
"Your eyes have not been fully opened yet," he whispered. "A part of me still despises you for that. But it is your race that shames you, not the other way around."
"There are other Humans that are like me and others that are far better than me," she said. "Because of that, I won't apologize on behalf of my race. I don't consider those that shame it so a part of it."
Grievous stared at her alien face. The haired brow, the prominent nose, the too large eyes with their unusual sclera. Her scent was nowhere near intoxicating but he felt a sudden desire to press her to him and smell her hair.
It was gone almost as quickly as it came. He let go of her and checked to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything before heading for the door.
"I bid you farewell," he turned his head back to look at her. "May the gods smile on you if you choose to do their will."
xXx
"This is…grave news indeed Chairman," Dooku said grimly.
"Even graver is your miscalculation, my Lord," San Hill couldn't help but seethe. "She kept him complacent enough, but she made no move to persuade him from breaking his contract."
"I did not miscalculate," Dooku's tone held a hint of warning. "We have the Republic to blame for the General's defiance. And if you recall, Chairman, I said she had no love for either of us. If he ever decided to break his contract, he would have her full support."
"That doesn't matter now," Hill said furiously. "I should have him assassinated. I know he's going back to Kalee now."
"I would advise against that," Dooku said. "The General is extremely resourceful. He is, was, your most successful collection's agent. If he survived your assassins, he would know who sent them. Thanks to you, his planet's economy has been rebuilt past its prime. You yourself saw what he did to the Huk and what he almost did. Do you believe your forces could withstand an entire army of Kaleesh warriors with General Grievous as their leader?"
"No…but perhaps…"
"Another reason I would advise against it is because it would take longer time than we have to find another commander with the General's military talents. What we should plan is not his death but his permanent servitude."
"Do you have any suggestions?"
Dooku smiled. "I do indeed."
xXx
Harlene watched stone-faced as Grievous was blessed by a Kaleesh holy man before boarding his shuttle along with his Izvoshra. She had considered accompanying him to Kalee at least, but couldn't afford to cause any animosity between him and his soldiers. More than that, she couldn't bear to board that shuttle and leave before—
It took off in the sky. Barely thirty seconds in its departure, it exploded in a burst of fire and debris. She saw something eject from it but didn't enhance her vision. She knew what it was.
Harlene silently followed a tall cloaked figure to the wreckage sight in the sea. A barge owned by the Banking Clan fished out the charred head and torso of what had once been a Kaleesh. The body was unmoving, unbreathing. Droids dried it before the figure beside Harlene raised its arms. Blue lightening shot from its hands igniting the near-corpse. After a few seconds, the barrage ceased. A gasp, then a cough broke through the silence.
"Jedi…Jedi…scuuuuummmm—"
Then there was quiet again save for shallow breathing.
xXx
"The technology is experimental, my Lord. However, I have every confidence the remainder of his organic flesh will respond to it. He will be an unrivalled warrior."
"I have every faith in your technicians, Archduke. Could they also trim away…disturbing unneeded memories?"
"Yes, most definitely."
"Erase his past. Tell your surgeons to put it as deep in his subconscious as possible. But enhance his rage centers."
"As you wish."
"One more thing. I would like him to keep one part of his past. But it will be vague and slightly altered."
xXx
"The Jedi…The Jedi did this to me! I felt their vile presence as I was dying!"
"You are correct, General. My agents told me they saw a small battalion of knights leave the area on a ship right after your crash. They planted an ion bomb in your shuttle and left you to die."
"…what of my Izvoshra? Do they live?"
"I'm very sorry, General. They have all perished."
"…"
"I was angered when you abandoned your contract, but you have served me well. Far better than I had hoped. For that, I offer you a chance at vengeance."
"You told me how broken my body is. How can I claim vengeance as what I am?"
"We will place you in a bio-mechanical suit. You will sacrifice most of your carnality and the pleasures that flesh grants. But you will be practically invincible. You could claim your just vengeance."
"What do you want in return?"
"A new order is rising. An order that will declare war on the Republic and eventually destroy it. In exchange, I want you to be the supreme commander of our armies, General. You will help us bring the Republic to its knees and raise a new order that believes in justice and fairness."
"I do not care for your…new order. But if this is what I must do to receive vengeance, so be it."
"Very well."
"Chairman—I do not want my mind tampered with. Is that clear?"
"Crystal clear, General Grievous."
xXx
"Forgive me, my Lord, but the General will need a blood transfusion in order for his major organs to survive the trip to Geonosis."
"That, Archduke is why I have brought you here."
Lips curled in a benevolent smile at a peaceful, frozen face.
"How are we doing today, my old friend?"
A hand reached out to touch frozen glass.
"Are you ready for your blood transfusion, Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas?"
xXx
"Dream of the gods when you sleep, my son. Their will is in your spirit. You are blessed."
"You saw me in a dream? You thought I was you? What is your name?"
Qymaen jai Sheelal…
"We will fight by your side, brother. Show us how to defeat our enemy."
"I posses more than one brand of fire, Qymaen."
"I of your ten beloveds have faith in you."
"Father, is there any more food?"
"You must save us all. You are blessed by the gods. You will save us all…"
xXx
The only thing he was aware of was consciousness at first. No other sense of anything accompanied it. Consciousness, swimming, floating back to reality.
Next came sight accompanied by some feeling. He could blink his eyes, feel his lids caressing the delicate organs. He waited for more feeling.
It never came.
He couldn't feel himself breathe, couldn't feel his heart pumping blood, couldn't clench his muscles. Could he move his hands…?
Yes. But he wasn't sure how. His brain was telling him that his fingers were flexing exactly the way he wanted them to, but his hands couldn't feel the movement.
He tried his legs next, but it was the same as his hands. They responded to the commands his brain gave them, but it was so far away it was as if he wasn't moving at all.
"General Grievous? General Grievous?"
A voice speaking. A familiar voice. It came through perfectly clear. But why did it feel so far away at the same time?
"General Grievous? Are you awake?"
He needed to respond as he realized who was speaking to. San Hill, Chairman of the Banking Clan who had employed him, then rescued him from the treachery of the Republic and the Jedi. The being who had promised him a chance for vengeance.
Vengeance.
"General Grievous?"
"Yes."
He could feel a faint pulse of vibration in his chest when he responded.
"General, the operation was a complete success. The rest of your organic material responded perfectly with your new implants. Are you able to move properly?"
The question caused a rising swell of anger in Grievous's mind. He didn't care as to why. With a grunt he yanked his right arm forward and heard something break. The same sound occurred when he pulled his left arm free. His feet hit the floor and he swayed a bit before righting himself.
"How are you feeling?"
Grievous fixed his vision on the Muun before him and his anger grew to rage.
What have you done to me?" he hissed.
"You have been remade," a new voice said. "You are better than what you were before."
A being emerged from the shadows. A Human. He was tall and elderly with pale hair and dark eyes.
"Greetings, General Grievous," the Human said formally. "I am Count Dooku, leader of the emerging Confederacy. Your vengeance against the Republic will come when we declare war on it. Our goals are intertwined. I bestow upon you the title of Supreme Commander of the Droid Armies and present you with a gift."
Count Dooku held out a cylinder-shaped object to Grievous. Slowly, he took it and examined it.
(jedi traitors butchers pin me down plasma at throat can't move stunned my soldiers are they all right)
He loathed it but didn't refuse it.
"Leave me," he rasped and without another word slunk off into the darkness.
xXx
Harlene watched Grievous's crouched, brooding figure. It didn't take a genius to figure out he was furiously questioning his new identity. Or if he even had a past one. Who knew what the Geonosians had really done to his mind.
The door slid open and several humanoid droids entered. Harlene recognized them as the Magna Guards, the ones Grievous had ordered almost two years ago.
"General Grievous," one of the eight said in a shrill mechanical voice. "I am IG-100. We were created to serve and protect you at all costs. What are your orders?"
A thin growl emitted from the prostrate cyborg. It evolved into a bellow of righteous fury as Grievous launched himself forward and started hacking at his guards with his new lightsaber. Sparks erupted occasionally throwing the flames of hatred in Grievous's yellow eyes into full relief. The metal beings shrieked as their master slaughtered them without mercy. The remains of their bodies soon littered the ground in twisted heaps of melted, broken parts. One of the few who were still able to speak asked, "What's wrong?" in a continuous loop indicating a shattered voice box. Grievous continued his brutal assault and roared:
"I am Grievous, warlord of the Kaleesh and Supreme Commander of the armies of the Confederacy. AND I AM NOT A DROID!!!!!"
Tears pricked Harlene's eyes at the gruesome sight before her. She felt a strong desire to do something, anything, but there was no way he would recognize her after what they had done to him. She could set him off even further.
(do what you feel is right child)
Harlene stepped forward.
"GRIEVOUS!"
xXx
The scream was like a bucket of water dumped directly on the circuits of his new body. He froze completely, the blade of his lightsaber inches from the chest of the last of his guards. His head whipped around and he froze again.
The young Human female's gaze locked with his, obsidian eyes slightly widened by an emotion that was not fear. The glow of his blade threw green highlights on her skin and hair. He stared at her face and felt his rage slowly abating as new memories came back to him.
Sparring with blades…feeling exhilaration and fulfillment…a pink mouth smiling at him…a hand reaching down and helping him to his feet…
(this is a warrior whether you like it or not)
Slowly, Grievous approached her. She still gave no hint of fear. When they were barely one foot apart, Grievous spoke.
"You…Harlene."
"Yes, General," she confirmed in a voice barely above a whisper.
Grievous reached out a hand. Clawed metal fingers ran gently through her black hair.
"Ally," he said almost whispering like her. "My…trusted ally."
Something flickered in her eyes, but it was gone so quickly he couldn't tell what it was. No matter. His ally was here. She recognized him. She didn't care about his transformation. Or did she?
He gripped the side of her face almost painfully.
"I…" he rasped. "Am not a droid. I am not a droid."
"No," she replied before he had even finished speaking. "No, you're not."
xXx
"It was a complete success, Master," Dooku reported. "He is now fully under our control. He will lead our army to victory and he will kill many Jedi."
"Of that I have no doubt," Sidious said with dry humor. "And what of the certain modifications you made regarding your experiment?"
"I could think of no other way to express my gratitude for her services," Dooku smiled. "She will not leave him. She will continue to give him a calmness that will focus his enhanced rage centers. His performance will be all the better."
"Good. You have done well, my apprentice."
"Master," Dooku bowed and the hologram winked out. He walked toward the exit and the door slid open.
He barely made out the fist that collided with his face.
Staggering back, Dooku's head swam, though he managed to get his hand around his lightsaber. Before he could activate it a booted foot slammed hard in his gut. He fell to his knees, the wind knocked out of him. He concentrated on the Force, on the power of the dark side but his assailant didn't give him an inch. He was knocked on his back courtesy of a fierce upper-cut.
Ears ringing, he dimly heard the ominous echo of approaching footsteps.
"You know…I actually believed it was Maul I would end up hitting. I even threatened to after he activated that trap on Korriban. But I never acted on it."
A strong hand grabbed him by the neck, lifting him up until he was staring directly into a pair of black orbs blazing with an icy rage.
"Some people live in fantasy, some people live in reality. Me, I live in irony. And all its beautiful grayness."
Dooku ended up on the floor once more, this time due to a back-handed blow. He concentrated again, calling on the Force. This time, he was not interrupted.
It took him almost two minutes to regain his feet. The blows hadn't caused any broken bones or organ damage, but there would be some severe bruising. However, he had more pressing matters to deal with right now than his minor injuries.
Calmly dusting off his cloak, Dooku turned to regard his angry experiment.
"Is there something you wish to discuss?" his face and voice contained nothing but cold politeness.
"Grievous recognized me," she said with a controlled yet venomous snarl. "He called me his 'trusted ally'."
"And why would such a thing not please you? I thought you had grown rather fond of the General."
"I know the Geonosians fucked with his mind when they operated on him. I know they erased almost all connections to his past or made him indifferent to them. He shouldn't have been able to recognize me on a conscious level much less call me a trusted ally. He never, ever called me that before. The only reason he would is because his mind was altered to think so."
Dooku made no attempt to fight as she telekinetically shoved him against the wall, her hand gripping his collar.
"It was you," she spat putting her face inches from his so he could feel the heat of her glare. "You ordered them to keep his memories of me, and I know why. Everything makes sense now and I was an idiot not to see it a long time ago. You and Vergere were working together. You hired Aurra Sing to assassinate her, but she knew about it, didn't she? I should have known something was up when Vergere didn't kill her right away. She wasn't toying with Sing, she was waiting for me to show up and stop her," Harlene's hand pushed deep into his solar plexus, almost choking him. "Because Sing is a test subject, isn't she? Or rather she's a trial for the real test subject here: me. This all has to do with the powers Vergere constantly insisted I have. You want to see if it's true, that I can control people. Jango, Grievous, Maul, Aurra…they're all trials, aren't they? At least in the eyes of a Sith," she was panting slightly. "I knew something like this would happen. You knew that I knew. Did you honestly think I wouldn't find out? Did you believe I would let you get away with it!?"
"Oh, but you are," Dooku whispered. He smiled. "What are you going to do, Harlene? You aren't going to kill me. You aren't going to abandon Grievous or Fett or Sing. You are exploiting your significant advantages over me not because you are angry, but because you're afraid. You are becoming aware of your power and it terrifies you."
"You're so fucking smug," she hissed. Abruptly, she released him and stepped back. "So sure you know how everything works. People, the galaxy. You're not at the top of the food chain. You look down on the food chain and nit-pick who and what is going to be of use to you."
"However displeased you are with my…string-pulling," Dooku said calmly, getting to his feet. "I have done you absolutely no harm. I have done the exact opposite. You wanted civil interactions with General Grievous and Jango Fett, didn't you? Now you have them. And don't worry about Aurra Sing. Soon enough she will be devoted to you as a priest to a god."
"So you and Vergere are exactly in the same mind. I should have guessed," her eyes narrowed. "That's why you keep on insisting Maul had a sexual interest in me. You want me to become bitter and betrayed so I'll use my imaginary powers to hurt people."
"They are not imaginary, Harlene and you know it. You are also wrong in that I want you to use them to hurt people. I could care less how you use them. But currently, you are wasting them. And I abhor wasting power."
"Spoken like a true Sith. But the least you can do is come up with a more original lie."
"Why do I need to lie when the truth is so perfect?" Dooku slowly walked to the viewport, his back to her. "It is your youth and naiveté that blinds you, yet I cannot blame you for having such faith in his honor. Because honestly, what other part of him could you have faith in? What else could you trust him with?"
"Now I'm starting to think you're as arrogant as him. You yourself said you never explored your own sexuality so how could you understand another person regarding that? And forget sexuality, you're all-around ascetic! Affection, compassion, the need for touch…they're all just tools to you! How could you understand another person's need for them? How could you hope to understand him!?"
Dooku whirled around and snapped, "I know enough to understand that you were the best thing that ever happened in his entire miserable life."
She looked as if he had slapped her. Dooku raised his brow.
"Do you deny it?"
His tone implied his opinion of her would take a severe plummet if she did, though he doubted she cared.
"What does it matter if I was?" the bitterness in her voice was unmistakable. "He had his dream to destroy the Jedi. He had his devotion to Sidious. If it came down to me and those two, he would have chosen them without blinking."
"In the beginning, of course, but as time passed that would not have been the case," Dooku approached her, towering over her. "If you want an answer, I will tell you and whether you choose to believe or not it is up to you. Had you been older, he would have made no attempt to conceal his desire for your flesh and had you refused him, you would have condemned him to madness. And if he ever did anything to make you despise him, you would have had him on his knees begging for your love and forgiveness."
Abruptly he turned on his heel and wasn't surprised when she didn't follow him. When he was in his quarters he looked into a mirror and saw two large, livid bruises on his left cheek and beneath his chin. His stomach throbbed and he knew it was just as black and blue.
Dooku touched the tender skin and smiled feeling a mixture of pride and irritation at his experiment. He had always known she would find out and her reaction, while immature, could have been a lot more rabid. Her anger had been relatively well-controlled.
You are emerging from your shell, little one. A betrayal as unforgiving as Darth Maul's would persuade you in an instance not to waste your power, but you have not truly tasted its sweetness yet. It is in your hand, inches from your face. Its perfume wafts at your nostrils, but not strong enough. It is you who must move closer. The scent will then be intoxicating. Irresistible. Eventually you will taste it. And whatever you choose…
You will never be the same again.
xXx
Long, pale fingers caressed the cool metal of a lightsaber handle that rested inside a case. Others surrounded it. Beneath them lay a shattered picture. A picture of a student and a teacher.
A picture of a naïve little girl and a manipulative monster.
There was a rustle of sound behind her but she didn't move.
"Aurra?"
She didn't respond. The girl took a step closer.
"Are you all right?"
She nearly reached for her blade then and there, but a jaded weariness stopped her.
"What do you want?"
The hatred was strained. She sounded more tired than malevolent.
A sigh.
"Aurra, all you have to do is promise never to hunt me."
"I want your blood. I want your screams. I want your fear."
"Aren't you going to say you want me dead, too?"
Aurra's hands gripped the table. It groaned beneath the pressure.
"You don't need me to maintain your hatred, Aurra. You hate the galaxy, you hate the Jedi, you hate the Dark Woman, you hate the Sennex pirates…you can have their blood and their fear."
"I want…yours."
"You can't have it and by know you know it. So why not tell me to go away?"
Aurra's eyelids crushed themselves together. Her jaw felt as if it would snap. A growl rumbled in the back of her throat and she ignited her blade. Before she could fully turn around a fist connected with her cheek and an unseen force pinned her to the floor.
"I'll kill you…" her snarl was weak and try as she might she couldn't ignore the sorrow in her voice. "I'll drink your fear. I'll drink it. I will…"
The girl knelt in front of her.
"I want your blood," she said again. "I want your screams. I want your fear. And I want you dead."
"I know," the girl whispered. Her eyes were soft and for the first time they were devoid of pity. "I know."
Her hand reached out. Aurra flinched and the girl paused. Aurra forced herself to relax.
Yes, touch me. Let me feel you vile, lying caress. Make my hatred of you grow. It will give me the power to make you afraid, to end your pathetic life forever…
The brat took her stillness as permission and Aurra laughed inwardly. Her small white hand tenderly rested itself on Aurra's face.
(sun the sun that never shined on Nar Shadda)
Her bruise healed in an instant
(but always shined on the jedi temple)
And instead of retracting her hand she started to stroke her face in a slow, soothing rhythm. Aurra didn't stop her. Her limbs were paralyzed, her jaw locked. The revulsion she had been anticipating, the revulsion that should have been reflected in the girl's eyes didn't appear.
(sun the sun)
Touch wasn't warm, it offered no comfort, it gave no security. Touch was painful and selfish and terrifying. It made bile rise in her throat, hatred to blind her sight, fire to sear her nerves. There was nothing more terrible than the touch of another being.
The girl's hand ran down, lifted an inch, moved up and ran itself down again.
(mother's arms mother's heart mother's warmth)
Aurra's eyelids slid shut. The fight in her had drained. There was nothing. Nothing but a loathsome girl's touch on her face.
(you murdering monster)
She didn't care.
(Aurra Sing! Away murderous beast!)
I don't care.
(sun the sun)
Just don't stop.
(mother)
Don't ever stop.
Please…
Aurra's eyes snapped open. She gasped out loud. The girl had touched her…was still touching her and no flood of hatred had come to her rescue.
"Stop," her voice was hoarse with terror. "Stop."
The girl's hand retracted as fast as if she had been burned.
"Aurra?"
There was nothing in her eyes but soft concern.
Panting, gasping, Aurra staggered to her feet, pressing her back hard against the wall. Her hand touched her still tingling cheek.
"What—what the hell did you do?"
To her amazement, Ballantine seemed as shocked as her. Her face was pale to the point of translucency and her eyes were like saucers.
"I…" she looked at her own hand as if searching for answers. "I don't know."
Her voice was lost and vulnerable. When she looked back up again her eyes held a question.
Aurra could feel the wall digging into her back. "What are you looking at me that way for?" Harshness leaked back in her tone.
"I think we're both afraid of the same thing."
Aurra blessed the Force when her anger stirred again.
"I fear nothing," she spat.
The girl raised an eyebrow. "We both know that's a lie."
Snarling, Aurra ripped herself away from the wall and towered over her adversary. The threats she would have dearly loved to make never made it past her lips.
"You're so damn righteous…think you know everything," her hands shook, aching to strangle her. "You can't understand. You can't."
"I can. To a certain degree," the girl amended. "And even if I can't understand all the way…it doesn't mean I don't care."
She may as well have slapped Aurra in the face.
"I need to go now."
She teleported without waiting for a reply. Not that it mattered. Aurra couldn't have replied even if she wanted to.
xXx
The visit had fulfilled its purpose. It had been selfish and maybe even cruel. But Harlene couldn't bring herself to care very much.
Aurra had let her touch her, and her touch had quelled the flames in her eyes. She had even closed them and a faint shred of peace had softened the hard lines on her face.
Harlene stared at her trembling hands, her breathing shallow and fast.
Is it true? Can I…
…can I control people?
No, control wasn't the right word. Control was a word someone like Dooku or Vergere would use. She couldn't control people, but could she make them believe in her? Make them trust her even if it defied their natural instincts?
The shaking of her hands quickly spread to her entire body.
(stand firm child)
I don't want to believe it now. Even if it is true. I don't care if it is true. I won't believe it now.
Raising a few barriers for the sole sake of keeping her body and voice still, she called Claire.
"I'm ready pick up where I left off in Attack of the Clones."
"Are you sure?"
She paused, considering.
"I'll make a couple of visits to certain acquaintances. I wouldn't want them to miss me for too long. By the way, Dooku and Vergere were working together. They both hired Aurra Sing and Grievous now calls me his trusted ally," she laughed and it sounded like a cough.
"Something tells me it's not Dooku and Vergere you're bitter at. Have you discovered some inner-knowledge, my little apprentice?"
"If it exists," Harlene said slowly, "it's going to discover me."
Skipping ahead until eight months before Attack of the Clones, Harlene visited Kamino. She found Jango in a training room with dozens upon dozens of clone troopers who now appeared to be in their late teens. The lesson appeared to be over and Harlene saw why. One of the troopers was on the ground, his face contorted in intense pain. Several of his clone brothers surrounded him with looks of worry on their faces. Concern sparking in her heart, Harlene rushed forward.
"Jango?"
His head snapped around. "Harlene?" he was shocked and immediately rushed up to meet her. "Where have you been?"
Why did he sound so…oh. She hadn't been here officially for a year.
"Fulfilling my duty," she replied. She cocked her head toward the downed clone. "Is he okay?"
He ignored her question. "I haven't seen you in over a year. You've never been absent that long. I thought something had happened to you."
He sounded and looked angry. Not to mention accusing. Harlene smiled.
"Worried about me, were you?"
"If you must know—yes," he grated out.
Her amusement faded to guilt. "Sorry, Jango, I was just out doing my job. But I'm here now."
He sighed, exasperated.
Harlene pointed at the clone trooper. "Is he okay? If he's hurt bad, I can heal—"
"Don't bother," Jango looked back at the clones with grim apathy. "He's done anyway."
Harlene's blood went cold.
"What do you mean he's 'done'?"
"He has some kind of muscular disorder. It was minor and we thought he could make it, but when he was introduced to more intense training we found we were wrong."
A medical droid entered, breaking through the crowd. It lifted the downed trooper onto a stretcher. The young man smiled at his brother's wishes for him to get well.
"Don't worry," he told them. "I'll be up and at it in no time."
He was carried away. Harlene looked up at Jango.
"What's going to happen to him?"
"That doesn't matter," Jango put a hand on her back and began to lead her away. "Now come on. Boba's been asking for you every day."
Harlene allowed him to lead her, but she had to raise her barriers.
(you know what you have to do child)
It took a while for things to sink in. And for them to truly sink in, she had to see it with her own eyes. Right now she had seen all she needed to. It wouldn't be long now.
"Boba?" Jango called when they were in. "Someone's back."
There was a clatter in the distance followed by rapid footsteps.
"Harlene?"
She had last seen him when he was eight. Now he was nine. He had grown a bit taller, but was still small and had the same dark skin, soft features and curly hair. She allowed her heart to be lifted at the sight of him. He had grown up so fast. Even faster than ever to her because of her time travels, but she idly wonder if this was how parents felt.
"Hey, little buddy," Harlene grinned and held out her arms. "Sorry I was away so long. Did you miss me?"
He didn't run into her arms like he always did. Instead he just stood there frozen. His eyes were wide, his mouth slightly open and…did he look a bit pale?
"Boba?" Harlene dropped her arms and started to approach him, worry overcoming her joy. "Little buddy, are you all right?"
He didn't answer. Harlene was stunned. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. No…it wasn't fear in his eyes, it was…
(awe)
"Boba, are you all right?" Harlene sharpened her voice before all but rounding on Jango. "Jango is he okay?"
Said bounty hunter didn't appear the least bit ruffled. To Harlene's shock and outrage, he looked amused.
"He's fine," for some reason, Harlene imagined him holding back an enormous grin. "Son, Harlene just asked you a question."
"Wh--?" the boy flinched back, blinked and shook his head rapidly. "Uhh…sorry, I—uh—"
He looked wildly around as if lost before his gaze shot rapidly from Harlene to his father.
"Boba?" Harlene softened her voice. "Are you angry at me? I'm sorry I haven't seen you for a while, but I've been very busy."
"No!" he blurted so loud that Harlene blanched. "I—I mean—" he stammered, his young face all but mortified. "I've missed you, of course I've missed you, I've been waiting for you to come back and…and…" he trailed off in his babbling and looked behind Harlene his expression clearly pleading.
"What Boba means to say is," Jango said slowly though he was smirking. "Is that we've both missed you and we're glad you've come to visit."
Harlene glanced from father to son still taken off guard at the unexpected greeting she had gotten from Boba.
"So am I," she said with a trace of unease almost certain she had missed something important.
The next few hours lapsed in the usual routine. Boba showed her his lessons from his father and his indoctrinations in the Mandalorian culture, and afterwards Harlene would tell him more about her 'dimension'. Both would listen raptly to the other.
Except this time Boba wouldn't quite meet her eyes and if he did he would immediately look away. And whenever she touched him he would flinch as if receiving an electric shock. Harlene asked him again if he was all right but the only response she got was a single 'uh-huh' that was practically a mumble.
"Jango," she said in a low voice when Boba was back in his room getting ready for bed. "Are you sure he's not angry at me…what the hell are you smirking at?!"
"Nothing…nothing," he held up a placating hand. "It's nothing," serious again, he said. "He's fine, I promise."
Harlene looked at the closed door of his room, frowning.
"It's as if he barely recognized me," she whispered.
She heard a chuckle behind her.
"What?" she snapped.
"Nothing."
xXx
Jango laughed again after Harlene had left. As if on cue, Boba emerged from his room, dressed for bed.
"Did Harlene leave?" he asked tentatively.
"She said she'll be back in a few months," Jango said. "She's worried that you're mad at her."
"But I'm not!" the boy protested vehemently. "I could never be mad at her!"
"You didn't answer her right away when she came in."
Boba's cheeks colored and he abruptly looked down.
Jango smiled.
"Seeing her in a different light, son?"
The boy shuffled his feet, twisted his hands before slowly looking up with a wide-eyed expression.
"She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life!"
Jango raised an eyebrow. "And?"
"And—" Boba stood straight up suddenly serious. "And she's kind and honorable…she's not greedy or cruel. She smiles a lot. She respects you. She's…she's family."
"Yes," Jango agreed quietly. "She is."
Boba sighed, melancholy. "I wish she didn't have to go away so often and so long. I wish she could stay with us. Forever."
"Her home is very far away," Jango said. "You and I both know she's very happy there. You wouldn't want to wish that away from her, would you?"
"No," another sigh.
But this could be her second home Jango thought as he gazed at the door Harlene had just exited, then at his son then back again. When she grows up.
That's thinking way ahead, isn't it? His inner voice sounded quite incredulous.
Maybe it was, but it was how he felt. In fact it was how he had been feeling for quite some time, deep in his subconscious.
You'll have to tell her.
I will Jango thought. If this was how he felt he would have to tell her as soon as possible. Maybe when she came to visit again. He wasn't sure what her reaction would be. Maybe it was unfair for him to tell her at the tender age she was. But keeping it from her for years was the greater of two evils.
"Dad?"
Jango looked at Boba and smiled.
"Come on, son. Let's get you to bed."
xXx
For the longest time, Anakin couldn't even breathe.
She was sitting in the living room on the couch beside a blazing fire. Her poise held the perfection of a statue, back flawlessly straight, hands curled in her laps, face directed at the flames. But her posture was the only thing he could compare to a statue. No statue, no artist held the genius or the imagination to capture the embodiment of beauty that was Padme Amidala.
A watcher might view the slowness in which he approached her as careful confidence. In a way he was. He knew how he felt about her. He had known since the moment he saw her. But nothing could have prepared him for enduring the radiance this woman truly held. He winced inwardly when he thought of his first words to her in ten years and the surprised almost uncomfortable look he had received in return.
He wouldn't talk to her that way anymore. He was a man, and he would let her know. More than that, he was a man who was in love with her.
She looked up at his approach and he felt his throat go tight. He drank in every feature, every detail; the way the fire light played on her eyes, her soft skin. He had felt how soft only yesterday when he had touched her. She had worn a dress that had bared her entire back. The dress she wore now was even more provocative. In cleanly outlined her torso and left her shoulder and arms bare. The necklace she wore barely concealed her cleavage. Magnificent couldn't even begin to describe her.
Magnificent couldn't even begin to describe that forbidden kiss they had shared.
"May I tell you something?" he asked in a low voice when he was in front of her.
Her eyes half closed and she sighed. "I don't know."
"Then how can I tell you?"
He sat beside her. She was looking right at him. He couldn't hold back any longer. He leaned in to kiss her.
She turned away. "Anakin…don't."
She sounded almost sad rather than chastising.
"I'm sorry," he said and meant it. "I know it's wrong, I don't want to take advantage or make you uncomfortable…but for me it's the only way. If I told you how I felt, how many times I've dreamt of you, how I've thought of you every single day since I met you…it wouldn't be enough. Even if I never stopped talking. Words themselves aren't enough."
"Then don't say anything at all."
Anakin's fist clenched atop his knee. "I need to tell you," he said through clenched teeth. "You know what I need to tell you. How do I do it then? Please tell me."
"What you need to do is face reality," she said almost sharply.
"Reality is that I'm not the little boy that you knew. I'm a man now. And I lo—"
"Don't," she jumped to her feet. "Anakin, wake up. We're from two different worlds. I'm a senator, you're a Jedi Padawan…what you say…what you feel…I can't say is doesn't matter—"
"Then you feel something too," Anakin stood up, eyes widening. "I can see it. I can sense it. You do feel something."
"Jedi aren't allowed to love, Anakin," he could hear a plea in her voice. "They aren't allowed to marry. Admitting your feelings is one thing, but you want to act on them."
"I did," he whispered. "We did. By the lake."
"That…" she turned away putting her hand to her forehead. "That was a mistake. We both know that."
"How can it be a mistake if you don't regret it?"
"Anakin, stop. If people found out—" she whirled around. "You have a future with the Jedi Order. A bright future. But if I were blind, I could see you would give it up. I won't allow you to do that. I can't."
She cared. She cared so much she would place his future above her desire. She wanted to be with him.
"No one would have to know," he told her. "It would be our secret."
She shook her head. "Our lie you mean. To have a relationship in such secrecy would be impossible. We wouldn't be able to keep it up for long. My sister saw it. So did my mother. Anyway, I couldn't live that way. Could you?"
Yes he said inwardly. Outwardly he gave a single nod.
"You're right. We couldn't live that way. It would destroy us."
His voice sounded hollow and mechanical even to his own ears. He walked out of the room and she didn't call him back.
Maybe she was right he thought under the warm, soothing spray of the shower. He would freely admit that she was wiser than him. She would put his future and her duty to the Republic over her feelings. She was completely selfless. It was one of the reasons he loved her so. No one had a more pure soul than her.
Putting on a pair of sleep trousers, he went back into his room and paused upon the sight of his bed. He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths before walking outside to the veranda. He couldn't sleep. Not with such thoughts in his head. Not with the fear of hearing his mother…
Anakin's hands squeezed the railing hard. The cool night air on his bare skin suddenly felt icy and uncomfortable.
He froze when he heard a whisper behind him. No other sound followed, but he knew who it was. He also knew she wouldn't approach unless he invited her too. If he didn't respond in less than a minute she would go without taking a shred of offence. Maybe if she hadn't come into his life he would have found a way to take a semblance of comfort in the solitude. But as he felt the air grow colder around him, he knew he didn't want to be alone.
"Stay," he whispered.
Her boots echoed softly on the stone floor and she was beside him in seconds. She ran a hand gently down his arm and he in turn ran one down her hair.
"I'm sorry," he said softly. "About earlier."
He wasn't apologizing for his beliefs and they both knew it. But he had upset her and that he was sorry for.
She merely nodded and rested her head on his arm. Anakin drew it around her.
"She knows," he said. "She knows how I feel. She feels the same way."
Harlene leaned into him. "But it's not that simple."
He continued to stroke her hair. "Nothing ever is. I know we're going to be together. I know it's our destiny, but…"
"…but it's one thing to know the future and other to actually live through it," she finished solemnly. "To see and smell and feel. To realize that everything is so much more complex than we could ever imagine. Knowing the future doesn't make you feel superior. You're still a puppet like everyone else. The only difference is you can see the strings."
"How did you know that?" he asked both in wonder and suspicion. "That's exactly it."
She smiled at him. "Maybe it's my empathy."
He smiled back. "That doesn't surprise me."
They spent several minutes in silence. Though sleep held little appeal, the soft warmth of her never failed to lull his mind into a state of peace.
"Stay tonight?" he whispered.
She held his hand. "Always."
They went to his bed. When Anakin looked at her again she was dressed in a thin-strapped shirt and drawstring pants. He sat, but made no move to lie down.
"Are you okay?"
He stared at his knees. "I'm afraid."
"Of what?"
"My dreams…my mother…they've been getting worse," he pressed his fingers deep into his temples. "Are they real…? Does she need me? I don't know…I don't know what to do…" his breathing grew erratic.
"Hey…" he felt Harlene's hand touch his face. Her eyes were soft with sympathy. "Come here."
He crushed her to him, burying his face in her hair. Her hands started stroking his naked back. He lost himself in the familiarity, the warmth, the love. Eventually they broke apart, eyes locked on the other.
I'm here hers said. I'll always be here for you.
Anakin's vision grew slightly blurry. He bent his head to her neck and started to plant soft, slow kisses to the delicate skin. Her eyes closed in peaceful comfort even as her hands moved slowly over his chest and belly, then finally back to his back where her nails started to graze his skin.
He didn't know how he could have survived the homesickness and loneliness he suffered upon his arrival at the Jedi Temple without her and her touches. Memories of Padme, his mother and Naboo provided solace, but he couldn't touch a memory. Couldn't hold it or kiss it or have it hold and kiss him in a way that whispered everything would be all right.
Gooseflesh broke across his arms at her nail's caress. Needing more his hands slid up her shirt to rest against her sides.
"I love you," he whispered against her neck.
Her soft response was immediate.
"I love you, too."
For a moment he fantasized it was Padme he was holding and Padme to whom he had just said those sacred words and Padme who had responded with unabashed devotion.
She will he told himself. Someday she will.
He let the thought flow over his mind as they laid to sleep.
xXx
He had needed her so she had made no attempt to tell him of her knowledge, or what little of it she could reveal. As she had told Claire, one of the reasons for her journey was to make her argument regarding the corrupt Republic stronger.
Now she was having second thoughts since her opinions regarding the Jedi were taking drastic changes as well. The Jedi and the Republic were intertwined, so she wasn't sure if she could resume their argument without completely alienating Anakin. Wide-awake, she was draped over his side, her cheek resting on his chest, her arm across his shoulders. She glanced up at his peacefully sleeping face.
He's not Darth Vader right now Claire had said.
No, he's not she silently agreed.
His features suddenly twisted.
"Mom…" a mumble. "Mom…no…don't…"
Fear contorted his face and his body squirmed beneath hers, but Harlene made no move to wake him. Someone was approaching rapidly. She cloaked herself and narrowed her eyes hatefully as Padme Amidala peered inside the room. Anakin calmed down, but Padme continued to stare at him with deep concern. A mere moment after she left, Anakin's eyes snapped open.
"Mom…" he sat up abruptly breathing hard, eyes wide.
"Anakin?" Harlene laid a hand on his arm uncaring of his sweat-slicked skin.
"She's in danger," he said in a hollow voice. "She's suffering…they're killing her…"
"What are you going to do?"
He got up from the bed and stared out at the still dark sky.
"The sun will rise in an hour. After Padme wakes up I'm going to Tatooine."
She felt a hard stab of helpless grief at his determination.
(stand firm child)
"I can't go with you," she said apologetically. "I need to resume my duties, but I'll meet you there later."
It was a lie, of course. The truth was she couldn't bear to be around him knowing what was going to happen.
"I know you will," he said.
Obi-Wan would be arriving at Kamino in two days. After that Jango and Boba would go to Geonosis.
(it's time child)
Kamino was where she needed to be right now.
xXx
"Dad…are you okay?"
When he was sure his eyes were totally dry, Jango turned to his son and forced a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine son."
Boba looked completely unconvinced.
"Zam would have understood."
Yes, that's why she died cursing you.
"She was a bounty hunter," Jango said more firmly than he intended. "She followed the code and she knew the risks of the business."
Boba looked down, tears in his eyes. "I'll miss her."
"So will I," Jango said quietly.
Father and son looked up when the door suddenly chimed. Jango answered it and was pleasantly surprised when he saw Harlene.
"Hi," she smiled.
"Hey," Jango stood aside. "Come in."
Harlene saw Boba and no doubt took in the bleak atmosphere. "What happened?"
Jango sighed. "Zam's dead."
Her face darkened with sadness and…anger?
"I see."
"Her arm got cut off fighting Jedi," Boba told her with fierce hatred. "If it wasn't for them she would have done her job well. It's their fault."
The boy's awkwardness around Harlene seemed to vanish when he saw her sadness. He took her hand and looked intently at her.
"She died with honor."
Harlene's fingers twitched as if she wanted to clench a fist. Then she relaxed and smiled at Boba.
"She deserved to."
The two children embraced. Jango stood by feeling his heart swell again. When they broke apart, the gaze between them was filled with love.
Love that could grow into something more.
"Harlene?"
"Yes?"
"I need to talk to you about—something very important. Will you walk with me?"
She cocked her head curiously, but nodded. "Okay."
"We'll be back soon, son."
They walked through the halls of Tipoca City. The clone army Tyranus had commissioned was growing so large that they passed through several rooms filled with rows upon rows of embryos. Jango noticed Harlene glanced at all of them, though her eyes were unreadable.
"Where are we going?" she finally asked.
"Up ahead there," he pointed to a balcony encased in a glass dome to protect occupants from the constant down pour. "I want to make sure we won't be over heard."
She cocked her head, but didn't inquire further. When they arrived, Jango placed his hands on the railing and stared out at the endless ocean.
"First of all, I'm sorry I've waited so long to tell you this. I just didn't want it to sound casual or cold. I'm not a believer in second chances especially when it comes many things…including expressing proper gratitude," he turned his head to look directly at her. "For helping me during the hunt for Vosa, for standing by me when you were justified not to, for everything that you've done for my son—you have my eternal gratitude."
There was genuine surprise on her face, but when she spoke her voice carried nothing but sincerity. "You're welcome."
"Secondly," he continued. "This I should have told you before also, if something ever…happens in your dimension, whether if it's not safe for you there or if you're simply not happy—you need only say the word and you'll have a permanent home with me and Boba."
"I've known that deep down," she said. "But to hear you say it and mean it…that means a lot. Thank you."
Jango gave a single nod and turned his gaze back to the ocean. "I've told you family means everything to a Mandalorian. I've lost two so far; my mother, father and older sister to the Death Watch and my soldiers to the Jedi. For years I shunned the idea of having another. I stuck to my code of trusting no one and watching my own back. But I'm a Mandalorian. I'll always be a Mandalorian and nothing will change that. When I asked for Boba I wanted an apprentice that could carry out the legacy of Jaster Mereel. I wasn't looking for a child, a son to love and care for, but I knew I would. And I was glad for it. To see him grow and learn…I have no words to describe it. He's more than I could have dreamed for."
She grinned. "I told you."
"Yeah, you did, didn't you?" he smiled back. "You're one of the main reasons he is who he is today. He'll be growing into a man soon. In fact, he already is."
"What do you mean?"
"I think you know," he said softly. "You saw the way he looked at you months ago."
The confusion on her face slowly melted to realization. Her eyes widened and her face paled.
"Jango…" she backed away, her voice laden with fear and embarrassment.
Jango immediately came up to her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Harlene, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Quite the opposite. In fact I would be greatly surprised if he didn't see you this way eventually."
"Jango…" she shook her head rapidly a disbelieving smile on her lips. "It--it doesn't mean anything. He's just ten. He's had no other contact with females of his own age and species apart from me. Once he becomes more exposed to the galaxy—"
"You think he won't still see you? He will, Harlene. I know he will."
"He won't. Jango he won't."
She sounded so firm, but he could tell she was still afraid.
"Why do you believe that?" he asked patiently.
"Because…because…" she didn't go any further, but the pained confusion on her face spoke for itself.
"Because why would he be attracted to you?" Jango finished. He gave a short laugh. "Harlene, are you serious?"
"Yes," she broke away from his hold. "Jango, you've known me for years. What do I have? A smart mouth, a sociopathic streak…you yourself said I was a stupid reckless insane fool and I agreed with you! Am I the kind of girl you want your son to be attracted to?"
Jango cursed himself. Of all the things to come back and bite him from ten years ago.
"I—" he held up a hand. "I'm sorry I said that. It was cruel and wrong—"
"And true," she snapped. "You meant it, so don't apologize. I almost got you killed."
"I remember vividly and I'm not making excuses for you just because our relationship became more amicable. You told me the reason you goaded Montross and over time understanding has helped me to forgive you."
"Understanding," she laughed bitterly. "I don't need to tell you what he said to me. I'm sure you can use your imagination. And that's another thing. Do you want your son to be attracted to a girl who immediately draws the attention of perverted old men?"
Jango scowled. "I know you didn't just say that."
"What?"
"Do you honestly think what Montross said to you was your fault? Are you going to tell me what you suffered in Ybor was your fault? What about your colleagues? They drew the attention of perverted old men when they were younger than you. Was that their fault?"
"I—"
"People like Montross don't think with their brains when it comes to that, Harlene. They think with…well, I won't get into that, but what goes on in their minds when they see a young girl or a young boy has absolutely nothing to do with their victim and everything to do with their own sick selves. If you ask a question like that you may as well say every rapist or pedophile in prison should go free because it's their victim's fault for tempting them."
A stunned look passed Harlene's features. Her shoulders slumped, eyes downcast.
"Do you understand?"
She sighed wearily and nodded. "Yes, but…logic isn't enough. At least not right now."
"I know," he said quietly. "But think about it for a while. Eventually it will be."
She looked up frowning a bit. "You know, the only reason I can think of that you're telling me about this is related to the reason why you asked for Boba in the first place. You want legacy. You want to rebuild the Mandalorians that were under Jaster Mereel."
"Harlene—"
"That's what this is all about. You want me to grow up, marry your son and bear children that can continue the line."
"Harlene, I can't deny that, but please don't believe that I see you as—"
"—a broodmare to expand the Mandalorians?" she finished coolly.
"You damn well I would never see you or use you that way," Jango said sharply. "If you do then the past ten years of knowing one another meant nothing to you."
She sighed. "I know. And I know you would never see me as just a means to an end."
"Harlene," he said in a more gentle voice. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I'm just telling you how I feel. What I feel is that there is no other woman I would ever consider worthy of my son. No other woman more worthy to become a part of Mandalorian society or help carry the legacy of Jaster Mereel. However, I want to make one thing perfectly clear: if it's not what you want, if you don't choose my son, I wouldn't think any less of you for it. What I want most of all is for it to be your decision and no one else's."
"Why are you telling me this now?" her tone was almost wounded.
"I thought it would be unfair to you and dishonorable of me to spring it up on you years ahead if this is how I feel now," he said simply.
For the longest time she just stared at him. Finally she walked to the railing of the balcony and peered out at the ocean like Jango had done.
"I'm not going to marry your son, Jango."
He sighed. "Harlene you heard what I said. I know you're very young and that you're probably not even thinking about going on a date with a boy much less marrying one. But you never know what the future holds. You never know who you'll fall in love with—"
"Jango. I'm not going to marry your son."
She didn't sound firm. She sounded hard, almost harsh.
"Can I ask why you're so certain?" he said with almost forced politeness.
"Many reasons. I'll start with the most insignificant of them all. I live in another dimension. I have a career that takes up about two-thirds of my life. There's no way I could spare the devotion the life of a Mandalorian demands much less the life of a wife and mother. If I can't be there for my husband or my children, then I won't marry or procreate at all."
Jango stared at her in disbelief. "You call that reason insignificant?"
"Compared to the others, yes."
"And what are the others?" now there was a cold edge to his voice.
"Well, Jango, I don't see why you need me to continue Jaster's legacy when along with Boba, you have millions upon millions of clones. Isn't that another reason you agreed to Tyranus's deal?"
"It's not the same and you know it."
"Of course it's not the same," she agreed icily. "You demonstrated that quite well when that so-called deformed man was taken away. To be disposed of like the expendable trash that he is, right?"
"Genetic defects happen, Harlene. Nothing can prevent that."
She laughed derisively and turned her back. "Yeah, genetic defects happen. It's a fact of life. So, why should people born with them be given a chance at life? They'll just burden the galaxy with their useless dead weight."
"I'm not talking about other children," Jango said shortly losing his patience. "Harlene, why are you acting this way? They're just clones—"
She whirled around faster than his eye could follow. For a moment all he could see was the blind hatred in her eyes. Hatred he had never before seen in his life, not even from Montross. Her face was illuminated by an eerie red light. It came from the blade of a lightsaber poised like a vengeful snake ready to tear into him.
He didn't speak. Neither did she. Slowly, she lowered the weapon and extinguished it.
Realization dawned on him.
"Why do you carry that?" his voice was low yet vibrating with malice.
"None of your business."
"You hate Tyranus. You wouldn't carry it to honor the Sith," his teeth peeled off his lips. "You admire the Jedi, don't you? Don't you!?"
"If you must know, I don't admire them nearly as much as I did before," she said coolly. "And I don't carry this to honor a particular brand of Force-users. It was given to me as a gift."
That was supposed to make him feel better? "When exactly were you planning to tell me you worship those sanctimonious self-righteous bastards?" he demanded. "Huh!?"
"If you weren't listening when I spoke loud and clear, then I won't repeat myself."
Jango took a deep breath and forced his voice back to calmness. "What are they to you?"
"We'll, they're no longer guardians of peace and justice. I'm friends with a young Padawan, but he's the only true acquaintance I have with the Jedi. Look, I know how much you hate them, Jango, and I don't blame you at all for it. If the Jedi had slaughtered by family, and I know that's what you viewed your men as, I would have sought direct revenge instead of waiting for it to come to me."
"You still harbor respect for them," Jango accused. "They murdered all my men, Harlene. You can't understand that. They believed the Governor's lies without even investigating. They handed me over to the Governor when they could have handed me over to the Senate."
"I know," she said. "What they did was wrong and stupid. But don't put yourself or your men on some high and mighty pedestal, Jango. I know the Mandalorians are assassins for hire. Innocent blood is on your hands as well as those of your men. I mean, do you ask a client why they want someone dead or what they did to deserve it? No. You blow your target's face off, collect your reward and laugh with your buddies at what a thrilling adventure you had over drinks. At least the Jedi's intentions were rescuing civilians."
"You--!"
"But you're the worst of them all. You lost the right to call yourself a good man, or even a simple man who's trying to make his way through the galaxy when you sentenced millions of innocent souls to torment and death. All for money and legacy."
"They're clones, Harlene—"
"They're Boba."
The pure sadness in her voice stopped him cold.
"The children who looked up at you with sheer reverence are Boba. The teenagers you taught Teras Kasi to are Boba. The young men who bade you goodnight before you left are Boba. They soldier who swore he wouldn't let you down when you bestowed upon him the title of captain is Boba. The one you coldly dismissed as useless when he fought so hard against his condition is Boba. They're all Boba. They're all your sons, Jango. Any man who values family above all else would never overlook that." She swallowed hard, tears glistening in her eyes. "And that's the reason why. I can stand to be ashamed of you as your friend," she head shook miserably. "I couldn't bear to be ashamed of you as your daughter."
He didn't hear her walk away or see her teleport. Slowly, mechanically his feet carried him to the edge of the balcony. The rain beat on the glass above as he laid his hands on the rail, head bowed, and he knew why she had put away her lightsaber.
She hadn't needed it.