Just a quick note: the other doctor Kate mentions here, the only other one in town, is Jack's godfather, and Christian's partner at the practice. I didn't name him in chapter 2, so for all intents and purposes, his name is Benjamin Lewis.

Chapter 25. Don't Ever Say That

They took the road slowly, one step at a time, so that Kate could prepare herself for what lay ahead. Jack felt her grip on his hand tighten as the house came into view, looming over them like the haunted castle in a fairytale.

He drew them both to a stop at the end of the driveway, dropping Kate's hand and stepping away from her so that she could have a moment to herself. She stared at the house, tight lipped, her eyes clouding over with a look that was half hatred, half grief, confronting the memories that had been eating away at her for sixteen years.

He couldn't help her with this part, so he stood back, close enough to lend his support, but not so close that he was crowding her. He would be there when she needed him, whether that was in five minutes, or an hour.

She moved slowly around the house, circling the perimeter, but she wasn't ready to go in, not while everything was still the same. Jack figured that was probably too much like stepping into the past for her, so he didn't push her, following her silently, stopping when she stopped, waiting for the moment when she addressed him again.

When they reached the driveway again, she turned to him, nodding towards two items he'd brought there while she was at work. "They're not ours," she said.

"I know." Jack laced his fingers through hers, leading her over to the patch of grass where he'd left two tin watering cans.

Wordlessly, he handed one to her, and she peered into it, giving him a confused look as she sniffed the contents.

"Is that…?"

"Kerosene," he finished for her. "One of the most combustible substances known to man."

"Is that why you brought me here?" she asked, eyeing him warily.

"Yeah," he admitted. "But only if you want to. We can still sell it if you'd prefer."

She looked back at the house, her expression darkening, her sorrow turning to rage as her eyes flicked over it, lingering on the room where her parents had slept. "I want to."

Before either of them had the chance to back out, she marched across the lawn, watering can still in hand, not even bothering to cover the glass as she crawled in through the broken window. Jack picked up the other can and followed at a more reasonable pace, meeting her in the bedroom, where she stood, surveying her surroundings with a look that could almost have set the blaze itself.

She didn't meet his eyes as she said, "I was fourteen when it started. I was so afraid of getting pregnant that I went on the pill. Dr. Lewis – Ben – was out of town, so I had to go to your father. It didn't matter either way – they both knew me.

"His expression never changed, the whole time I was there. I can't imagine what he thought of me."

She was so calm now; Jack swallowed the bile rising in his throat as he struggled to ask, "You didn't tell him, did you, Kate?" He couldn't believe his father knew. He'd known for eighteen years, and he hadn't done a damn thing. He hadn't even told him.

She shook her head. "Why would I? Anything I told him would be confidential, right? He couldn't do anything with that information except judge me." She shook her head again, this time to try to regain the composure she'd possessed only a moment before. It didn't work, because her voice broke as she continued, shattering Jack's heart along with it. "It was better that he thought… whatever he thought. If he knew, then he really wouldn't have thought I was good enough."

She turned to him for the first time since he'd joined her in the room, flashing him the sardonic, self-deprecating smile he'd grown to hate so much. "Guess it's a good thing he's dead, huh?"

Jack had to take a deep breath to keep the bile from returning as he realised that he was part of the reason she'd kept silent all these years. She hadn't wanted him to find out, him or his family, but in such a small town, it was hard to keep something so scandalous a secret. So she'd said nothing. She hadn't been protecting Wayne, or her mother; she'd been protecting him, just like she had that first day on the playground, when she'd offered to beat that kid up for him.

She was scaring him now, not just with her revelations about the past, but her perspective on them, so he set the kerosene down, pulling her close. It was different this time though, because it wasn't Kate who needed reassurance. He'd thought he could be strong for her, that he could help her face up to the past, but the deeper they delved into it, the more he began to feel like it was swallowing him up too.

He wasn't aware that he was crying, but he must have been, because he felt Kate rubbing his back in slow, rhythmic circles, murmuring, "It's okay, it's okay, there's nothing you could have done," softly against his ear. He took a deep breath, pulling himself together, and she released him, not all the way, but enough for them to meet each other's eyes.

"You okay?" she asked softly, and he nodded, taking a few more breaths before he could speak.

When he was in control again, he fixed her with his fiercest gaze. "Don't ever say that again," he warned her, his voice so low and angry that he saw a flicker of fear in her eyes.

"That it's a good thing your father's dead?" she repeated timidly, backtracking to the comment she thought had hurt him so badly.

"No. That you're not good enough for me."

She looked taken aback, so he went on, saying, "Remember the day we met? On the playground?"

"Yeah," she agreed. "Matthew Tate pushed you off the fort."

He smiled, his anger subsiding as he brushed the back of his hand over his eyes. It had been years since he'd been able to remember the name of the kid who'd pushed him, even though he still wore the scar. He was surprised, and touched, that she hadn't forgotten, even though it had happened to him.

"He's in prison now," she said, turning his smile into a full-fledged grin. "Assault."

She grinned back, apparently pleased that she could still cheer him up so abruptly. "What about it?"

It took him a moment to realise what she was talking about, and then he said seriously, "I was sitting there screaming and bleeding into the sand, and everyone ignored me. Everyone except you. So don't ever say you're not good enough for me, because you're the only one who is." She looked away, embarrassed, but he cupped her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him as he added gently, "You took care of me, Kate. That's why I wanted to do this for you tonight. I wanted to take care of you."

She nodded her acquiescence, and he thought she finally understood that he wasn't trying to hurt her. He was trying to save her.