Light…

Dark…

A little girl ran across an open field, chasing dandelion spears that bounced along the breeze, shiny and sparkling in the sun's rays, as they pierced the surrounding forest.

Light…

Dark…

A beautiful musical laugh bubbled up out of the girl, as she twirled, her arms reaching out and holding the hands of the little boy who was spinning her around.

Light…

Dark…

The boy, a smile plastered across his face, giggled too, as he grew dizzier and dizzier from spinning the girl around and around.

Light…

Dark…

A dark cloud came from nowhere and plunged the field into a semi-darkness. The spinning duo stopped suddenly, looking at each other. Their hands dropped to their sides. Fear replacing the happiness that had been on both their faces.

Light…

Dark…

Lightning crashed above, as a fierce wind whipped up through the grasses that covered the field. The girl jumped at the cracking sound of the thunder. The boy raised his arms up in fear.

Light…

Dark…

The field was starting to spin now, the wind, thunder and lightning moving as one. The girl screamed, but the boy stood there, blood suddenly dripping down his face. He reached for the girl. She, in turn, reached out her hands to hold his, just as the wind grabbed him and flew him away from her. His scream… barely recognisable, over the noise in the field, "Hope…"

Light…

Too much light…

Hope moaned. Her face crumbling, as the pain fought a war across every part of her body. She tried to move, but then, thought better of it, as the pain jumped to a new level. Instead, she lay there just trying to concentrate on her breathing.

Slowly, it all started to come back to her. The bowling alley, the glimmer, Dean and Sam fighting. The other murder-suicides. All of the memories flooded back into her mind as if she was making a film, only in reverse.

Hope rolled over, letting out a small cry as the pain intensified again. She pushed through it; she had to know if Dean and Sam were alive.

Pushing herself up, so that she was on all fours, Hope could see the nearest body to her; she started crawling that way.

It was Sam.

He was barely breathing.

The effort of moving, showed on Hope's face as she swayed left and right looking for Dean; she saw him further to her left and started crawling over to him.

He was breathing too.

Just…

Blood was dripping from Dean's mouth, and his rasping breaths created bubbles that popped, spilling blood on his chin and upper lip.

Hope struggled to sit beside Dean, her heart beating rapidly, as she desperately tried to calm her nerves and stifle the pain. Panic doubling, at the thought of losing either of her newly found brothers, Hope started going through Dean's pockets, in search of his cell phone.

Hope found it in his jacket pocket. Pulling the phone out, she quickly found Cass's number and dialled, he picked up immediately, "Dean…" came a panicked voice, on the other end of the phone.

"No… It's Hope…" her voice was barely recognisable like she was talking underwater. She coughed, to clear her throat, and gave Castiel her location before she passed out.

Castiel appeared just as Hope dropped the phone, her limp body falling to the ground. Alarm, panic and fear moved swiftly across his face. Castiel moved to Hope's side and reaching down, he placed two fingers on her forehead. Hope's injuries were significant, so it took a little while for Castiel to heal her properly.

"Now them…" Hope murmured when she felt her health and strength return.

Castiel moved over to the boys, Dean first, followed by Sam. Each taking equally long times to heal. Each stayed sitting on the ground after Castiel had healed them.

"What happened here? Who did this to you?" Castiel asked.

The boys looked at each other. They could both remember exactly what had happened, down to the last detail. Eventually, Dean replied, "We did it…" he shook his head as he spoke, not willing to believe what he had done.

Dean may remember everything that had happened, but he could not find a reason for it, "We did that to each other, but I think that Hope was trying to stop… us…" Dean paused, looking at Hope as he continued to speak, "but I tried to kill you too. I did not care who you were, I just wanted to kill… I needed, you to die…" Dean's head fell down, his shoulders slumping, as tears welled up in his eyes. Admitting how he felt during the fight was difficult but he needed Hope to understand because he needed her to forgive him.

Castiel could not find words.

Sam just sat there, his shoulders hanging low also, ashamed at what had happened, and how close he had come to killing Dean. Stopped only by Hope.

"It didn't affect you?" this was not really a question, more like a statement, as Sam tried to recall what Hope had been doing during the incident; he thought Hope looked like she knew something was wrong and that she was trying to keep him and Dean from killing each other.

Silence fell over the alley again, as Castiel and the siblings dwelled in their own thoughts.

It was Castiel, who finally broke the spell, "So, what was it?"

"It felt like…" Dean fought to keep control of his voice; afraid of what he was about to admit, "It felt like I was back… that I was in… Hell."

Dean put the palm of his hands over his eyes and while raising his eyes up to the ceiling, his hands slid slowly down his face until they cupped his chin, meeting in front of his face like a child praying before bed. Dean's eyes stayed closed as he breathed deeply, in and out, barely holding himself together; he had tried to kill his sister and brother. He wanted to look at them, beg for forgiveness, but he was ashamed; he was struggling to forgive himself, how could they even begin if he could not do that for himself.

Hope wanted to move to him, to hold him and tell him that all was ok; she understood that what had happened had not been Dean and Sam; they had not been in control. The problem was that she was stuck on what Dean had just admitted, "Hell?" she said, "Back… In hell…" Hope emphasised the word, back; he had been to hell?

Dean watched the different emotions flashing across Hope's face; Hope started to back away from the boys. Fear, dread, terror, you name it Hope was starting to feel it. As she saw Dean struggling to his feet, she turned and ran.

"Hope…" Dean called, just as Hope turned to run. He had realised that she wasn't taking the 'hell' thing well, and had sensed, too late, that she was about to bolt, but he wasn't quick enough. By the time he was on his feet, Hope was almost to the front door of the building. A split second later Sam realised what was happening and started to scramble to his feet.

Hope was out of the parking lot when Dean got to the front door of the bowling alley; 'man she can move…' he thought as he tried to speed up. Castiel saved the day, flying, as it were, directly into Hope's path. She hesitated as she saw him just in front of her and tried to turn too quickly to avoid him. Instead, she stumbled and fell to her right. By the time she had righted herself, Dean had all but caught up with her.

Dean reached out and tried to stop Hope, she fought him back, swinging wildly with her arms and hands. Dean did his best to fend her blows; he was lucky she was in such a bad head place; he had seen her take down a hellhound if she had been thinking clearly – he would not, still be standing on two feet.

Eventually, Dean managed to grip Hope's arms and draw her into him, in a strong embrace; here, her will weakened and she fell into him, "You went to hell…" she repeated over, and over, while Dean tried to calm her down.

Dean walked Hope over to the bench at the bus stop, and sat down with her, as Sam came up beside them. Sam, Dean and Castiel exchanged worried looks. The small group stayed like that for some time, Dean and Hope sitting on the bench, Castiel standing stoically in front of them, Sam leaning against the light post nearby. Sam broke the silence, "Is she awake?"

"Nah, I think she fell asleep a while back." Dean whispered his reply.

"What happened?" Sam asked though he wasn't really expecting an answer; he was sure Dean didn't know anything more than he did.

"I don't know Sammy… Maybe everything just caught up with her – and us not telling her about hell was just the final straw… We should have told her… No secrets – that's what I told her… We start fresh, and then I go and keep that from her – along with every other terrible part, of every story I've told her…"

"Dean… you were protecting her… we were protecting her. We made that decision, to not tell her all the gory details… she's vulnerable – she didn't need to know that too."

"No… look what not telling her about that did…" Dean looked up at the sky, hoping to find answers there when none came, he sighed and looked back down at Sam, "I wanna tell myself we were protecting her… but in truth – I was being selfish. I was afraid she would take off – just like… just like this…" Dean was shaking his head as he spoke, quietly so as not to disturb Hope, "I was selfish because I wanted her to stay – but you know what – she would be better off away from us…"

"Dean…"

"It's true, Sammy. If the hellhounds are truly gone – and it's been like eighty-five hours now – if they are truly gone, she would be so much better off… without us… without this life… that's what we should be telling her. Instead, I keep stuff from her, so she will stay around because I'm selfish…"

Sam shook his head. He didn't disagree; in truth, Sam thought she would be better off out of their life too, but he wanted her to stay more. He wanted to be selfish, just this once. Just his once.