*Chapter 3: Slappy Knows Best Part 2*

One bright and cheery mid-morning in the Water Tower, Yakko, Wakko, Dot, and Rem, were seated on the couch and watching an old black and white 50s horror movie. In Wakko's lap was a huge tub of popcorn in which he ate by the handfuls. Rem didn't eat any because she thought there was way too much butter in it. She did however, had a bottle of pomegranate juice on the coffee table. Speaking of whom, Rem was getting rather bored of the movie they were viewing.

"This is stupid. Why the hell are we watching this for?!" she ranted.

"Because it's scary." Wakko droned as he stuffed another handful of popcorn into his mouth.

"I find Lon Chaney Sr. a lot more scarier than this. And besides the special effects are friggin' cheap. I've seen better in Gojira."

"Go-who?" Dot asked blankly.

"The Japanese version of Godzilla."

"Are you seriously comparing Godzilla to this?" Yakko jokingly and sarcastically asked.

"The first one in its original form was great. The rest before the Heisei series were crap. Especially when the Americans got people who can't act worth shit to dub them." Rem yammered.

"And I'm guessing that you don't like Perry Mason."

"Not really. I am not a Raymond Burr fan."

"Uh-huh."

The four of them continued to watch the television set until Rem finally had enough of watching the cheesy monster movie.

"Alright, I'm gone." she said, hopping off the couch.

"Where you goin'?" Wakko asked.

"To do something more constructive with my spare time."

"Such as?" Yakko and Dot asked in unison and raising an eyebrow.

"I dunno. Perhaps reading."

She went to her corner and out her Devine Comedy and sat in a cross-legged on her bed. While Wakko merely shrugged and returned his attention to the movie, Yakko and Dot lowly stared at her like she took the fun out of living.

"Say Rem, anything interesting going on in the Wonderful World of Dante?" Yakko sarcastically called out.

"Hmmmm, the narrator just entered the eighth circle of Hell. Festive." Rem replied with the same level of sarcasm.

Yakko and Dot looked at each other. Then the elder Warner grinned and folded his arms in the back of his head and crossing his legs while leaning back on the couch.

"Ehhhhhhh, I guess that works." he said.

XXXXXXX

Much later that day, when the telephone rang and Rem ended up having to answer it because the Warners were too busy tackling each other for it, Slappy Squirrel requested the teen's presence at her tree house. This time, Yakko let her go by herself provided that she came straight back to the Water Tower and nowhere else without him or any of his other siblings. In actuality, Rem rathered that at least one of the Warners was with her right now. She felt really awkward about going to Slappy's house especially after the teen nearly killed her nephew weeks earlier. Rem wasn't really thinking right now. Her mind was totally blank. She finally came to the tree house and knocked.

"...'Sup?"

"Nice to see ya, little missy." Slappy greeted. "Step right inside if you please."

Ooohhh shit. Now I'm in for it. But then again, it's not like it wasn't expected.

Rem swallowed her pride and a little hard and followed the elder toon into her house. She saw Skippy in his usual spot in front of the T.V. set looking as cheerful as ever. He even waved hello to her so maybe Rem wasn't totally unforgiving. The pair went into the kitchen and to Rem's surprise, her katanna was on the kitchen table.

"Whoa, wait a minute." she stammered. "Are you...are you giving her back to me?"

"Her? What is this, your BFF?" Slappy sarcastically asked.

"Well..sort of. Wait, we're getting off point here."

"Young lady, this is a cartoon. There ain't no need to be on point."

"Yeah I've noticed..."

"Anyway, you can have your toy back, sure."

"But there's a catch, isn't there?"

"Einstein would love this kid."

"I beg to differ."

"The catch is that you don't use it at all."

"I get it."

Although Rem was fine with this condition, she secretly hated going places unarmed. However, as they say, there's 1001 uses for a katanna and some of them were non fatal.

"Can I just see he...it for a sec?" Rem asked.

"Eh, why not?" Slappy replied.

That surprise Rem even more. Then she saw why the squirrel wasn't so concerned with her seeing her blade. A clear, transparent plastic and rubber guard was placed the edge of the sword.

"That's so you don't get any bright ideas, there." Slappy explained.

"You...polished it?" Rem asked.

"Yup."

"What kind of polish?"

"Well, let's see here...Acme Chaji oil."

Rem watched Slappy go through her purse and pull out a jar of metal polish.

"Nice." the teen murmured.

"So, I don't suppose there's anything you'd like to share with me." Slappy said with her chin in her hand.

Rem was quiet and looked down on the pattern of the table cloth.

"More of the silent treatment huh?" the squirrel asked matter-of-factly.

"It's not that. I've got my head probed enough as it is." Rem groaned.

She dropped her head on the table with a low thud and a whine.

"So you've got Scratchansniff working on ya, then?" the squirrel said. "That's good news."

"Good news?! He and my three housemates are bringing up stuff that I went through so much effort to block out and have buried for a freaking eternity. And other stuff I don't even want to recall. And please for the love of God don't ask me why."

"Have you ever thought that maybe bottling all those bad vibes up is what got you to snap in the first place?"

"Hell if I know..."

And I still can't remember much of it.

"What about your folks, kid? I'm sure they would've done the same thing we are."

"Ha, yeah right! First of all, they're both dead and even when they were still around, they completely ignored me since birth. And Grams could only do so much."

"Grams? You mean your grandma?"

There was a silence as Rem nodded. Frankly Slappy was a bit surprised that she wouldn't have to contemplate beating anything out of the teen.

"Fact of the matter is," Rem continued in a sullen voice. "nobody in my family apart from her, really gave a crap about me. And that's all there is to it."

That sort of crossed a line with Slappy.

"I find that kinda hard to believe, kid." she said sternly with a raised eyebrow. "Even I got family troubles but they ain't that bad."

"You haven't met mine. And it's like I said, the only one I could really relate to was Grams, but she could only do so much to help."

"Oh? Why's that?"

"Terminal illness that's why."

Rem kept her head down on the table while Slappy scratched her chin. Honestly she didn't know what to make of this. Part of her thought that Rem could possibly be making a sob story. But then again, it wasn't in Rem's nature to do such things especially with the amount of cynicism in her voice.

"So why is all that such a big secret?" Slappy asked.

"It shouldn't be now I guess." Rem sighed. "It's just I don't like bringing it up."

"Look kid, we all got our skeletons in the water closet, right?"

"I suppose..."

"Sometimes it's just better to let 'em out rather than keeping them in."

"If you say so."

But some things are better left unsaid.

"And for cryin' out loud start smilin'. Or else I'm gonna have to break out my old Jack Benny records."

"You listen to those?"

"You darn right I do. Vintage classics."

Rem let out another sigh. Now she had a fourth person on her back to pressure her into cracking one.

XXXXXXX

As Rem returned to the Warner Bros. lot, the grey clouds above finally gathered together and started to lightly pour on the teen and the city of Burbank. Oddly enough, the rain drops felt a little warm.

This is...lovely. Really lovely.

She went past the front gate and allowed herself to get drenched by the celestial water. To her, it was one of the greatest feelings in the world. Ralph the Guard noticed her and poked his head out of his security booth.

"Duuuuh, you needs an umbrella, Miss Roths?" he asked.

"No thanks, dude. I'm good." Rem replied, walking past him.

Then, as she approached the Water Tower, the teen's ears twitched to the sound of distant rumbling of thunder. Further raising Rem's spirits little by little.

Dude, I'm finally getting a decent T-storm. This is freaking awesome!

Meanwhile in the Water Tower, the Warner trio, instead of doing their usual zany activities, they waited patiently for Rem to come home. Yakko was leaned against a wall, fiddling around with his paddle-ball, Dot was sitting on the round kitchen table and reading celebrity magazines, particularly ones with Mel Gibson on the front cover, and Wakko hanging upside down on the couch watching the television set.

"Do you know if Rem's back yet?" Dot asked as she flipped through the pages of the magazine she was reading.

"Eehhhhhh, I better go check." Yakko replied, putting his paddle ball in his hammer space.

He walked across the Tower and opened the front door. Because of the rain, the elder Warner only poked his head out to avoid getting water inside. Then his eyes caught something at the base of the Tower.

What the heck?

Down all the way at the bottom, was Rem, leaning against one of the Tower legs and getting thoroughly drenched by the rain. Yakko climbed down the latter while carrying an umbrella in one hand.

"Ehhhh, call me crazy, but why the heck are you out here getting all wet?" Yakko asked.

"I'm enjoying myself." Rem answered flatly. "Leave me alone."

"And this is your idea of a good time?"

"Yup. I think it's awesome."

"I see."

Then the toon saw that Rem had her katanna in a new and more appropriate holder around her shoulder.

"Would you also mind tellin' me how you got that back?" Yakko asked with a fist on his hip and with a surprising amount of seriousness in his voice.

"Slappy gave it back." Rem simply replied. "I still can't use it anyway, because she put a guard on it."

Yakko then brought his hand to his chin.

"Hmmm, clever." he said with a grin returning to his features.

"HEY, YOU TWO!"

Both Rem and Yakko looked up to see Dot peering out of the Tower.

"Are you guys gonna stand out there in the rain and chit-chat all day?!" she ranted.

"Relax, we're comin' up!" Yakko called back. Then he turned to Rem. "Well? Lady's first."

He stood aside, clearing the path between the ladder and the teen. Rem frowned a little, as her time peacefully meditating under her favorite kind of weather was about to be cut short.

"I hate you." she ranted as she walked past the elder Warner who merely grinned wider.

"Uh-huh. I know." he quipped before following her up the Tower.

As soon as they were both inside, Dot threw a fit when she saw a soaked Rem.

"You put on some dry clothes this instant, young lady!" she demanded.

I'm going..." Rem mumbled.

Jesus, she sounds like Grams...

AN: Jack Benny btw, was a comedian back in the day and had his own radio show that spawned 30 years and then his own tv show in the 50s when television became popular. Stay tuned because next time it's the return of a familiar face...