Disclaimer: The reference to how Edward was after leaving Bella comes from Saudade by Haemophilus Leona here on FanFiction with her permission.

Chapter 25: Alice–Trust, Honesty and Risk

It had been 54 hours, 12 minutes and 49 seconds by the time I pulled into Bella's drive since Edward had not budged. It was my fault, and I felt terrible about it. My visions had warned me and I had missed it. It was like when my gift had shown Bella jumping off the cliff, only that time further investigation had shown my fears, resulting from what I had seen, to be unfounded. This time I had not been frantic when I should have been. Worse still, no matter how hard I had tried, I could not see Edward come out of his state. Last time he had been in a similar condition he had come out of it himself, but it had taken months.

Jasper told me later that the family had argued about whether we should risk an intervention. Carlisle had been certain that Edward would come out of it in his own time, asserting that our kind couldn't maintain his state indefinitely for no other reason than to feed, while also holding out some hope that Bella might be some help. Esme had been worried that Edward wouldn't come back to us, but evidently had voiced no opinion other than ensuring his return. Emmett had voiced concerns of how to contain Edward and keep him from killing any humans when he came out of it, since he was faster than us all. Rosalie was irate that no one seemed to know what was happening or how to fix it. Jazz insisted we needed Bella and scent. He had explained to me his theory of why Edward had shut down–he was repressing his vampire nature too much and the potential loss of Bella with no avenue offered to claim her or even be reassured that claiming would happen soon had been more than his mind and body could handle. Thus, Jazz's solution used Bella to lure the vampire part of Edward back out. She was his singer after all. That didn't sound like the best of options for Bella, to be honest.

Evidently Rosalie found Edward at his piano frozen creepy, so after much discussion and then greater effort Emmett and Carlisle had moved him to his bed. Rosalie and Emmett had been assigned guard duty, which was occasionally replaced by Esme, although I had no idea how Esme would have stop Edward.

If the argument about the merits of intervention wasn't enough, the family was deadlocked regarding what we were going to tell Bella.

At the hospital I had checked the risk factors in Bella coming over, given all that was going on, and although I never saw her getting hurt by being in the house and him frozen in his room, neither had her presence improved much of the chance of him coming out of it. Nevertheless, everyone would be home for Bella's visit, just in case.

Adjusting to this new way of looking at my visions was proving difficult. It felt as if Jazz and I had traded sides of the argument, which wasn't surprising. We balance each other. If I swung too far in the other direction, then he was bound to rein me in. The vision of Bella as one of us all but disappearing had rocked my world even with Jazz by my side. It was if my sense of gravity had disappeared. I had been consumed with my gift until it reappeared. The first good news came Saturday early in the morning. It had the qualities of what I had previously thought as having a fated element. However, this time I didn't have the confidence in what the vision was saying anymore.

"Good one, June bug?" Jazz had asked me as soon as I had come to.

"Bella as a newborn," I answered him loud enough that everyone in the house could hear. Of course, that excluded Carlisle since he wasn't back from his shift yet.

I swore even Rosalie muttered, "Thank goodness."

He looked at me seriously. "We're far from there," he whispered to me.

"I know, lover," I whispered back. "Want me to try to find a path to get us there?" I asked in hushed tones.

He considered it. "Not for now, June bug. Let's see how things play out for the moment. You've spent too much time the last 24 hours in the world of the not-yet, come spend time with me and be in the present." He kissed me lightly. "It's the first good news we've gotten since you saw her accident, and you deserve a break. You're too hard on yourself."

"Are you sure Jazz?" I teased.

"I'm coming round to your way of thinking. Perhaps some nudges will be in order." He winked. "June bug you aren't all powerful. You're not responsible for the future or for each of us. You can only do your best and especially while your gift grows there are bound to be times when you get it wrong, just like how when you first woke you learned that you couldn't immediately go after me. You can't be changing everything, but that doesn't mean when it looks all sparkly and movie-like that we should sit back and assume it'll just show up. Hopefully, the family has learned this lesson well." He paused tasting my emotional state. "You're not as sure this time. Does it look different?"

I shook my head no. "But if it disappeared once it could again," I pointed out fretting some.

It was the point he had made through the years. For the first time the reality of what he had tried to convey had hit me. It wasn't pretty and honestly I was scared. Losing Bella wasn't an option. My only guess as to why Bella as a newborn might have reappeared was that somehow Bella had made a choice to become a Cullen. Could that mean my pivotal moments were more based on choice than fate? And merely showed the strength of the conviction in that choice? If that was true, how my gift worked, the choices I had made, my life lived thus far, basically every assumption I had every made looked different. My gift had always been my touchstone through life's events and thus Jazz's. Without it … we had his gift, intuition, and skills as a military man. It was something valuable for sure, but it wasn't the same. Jazz and I were a formidable team and with my doubts in my gift it was like we had become half-blind able to see ahead but not the periphery. And that didn't bode well for either of us, particularly with the stakes so high at the moment.

Despite the challenge that seeing Bella in the hospital had posed, I secretly wanted to believe that Esme's and my visit had helped bring the vision of her becoming a newborn back. Bella had always accepted me so easily before. There had been no needed to pretend with her. Usually I avoided humans and helped Jazz not make them into a snack. Bella was the first human that knew our secret and didn't care. To see her there in body, but have to pretend had been challenging. Esme had been great. How she had done it was beyond me. When we returned home she went on with things as if this new Bella was just as wonderful as the old Bella. On my part, the resolve and courage Jazz had given me, so that I could go, was gone. Good thing my husband was an empathy who weaved magical charms or I wouldn't have been able to go at all. He had met me in the garage. As soon as the car had slowed down enough, I had flung myself into his arms and, while clinging to him, had attempted once again to find hope and an anchor.

After seeing Bella with my own eyes, I understood why Edward had responded the way he had. Her condition had been a shock to me. It was only because Charlie, Billy, and Jacob were there that I hadn't frozen myself. Well that, and I hadn't wanted to scare Bella. The reality was chilling. Shutting down was highly tempting. What was confusing was why Edward hadn't come back to us. Certainly Bella, amnesia Bella or not, was better than no Bella at all. She wasn't dead. That had to count for something. Then again my brother was often a colossal idiot.

As of Friday morning, before Esme and my hospital visit, the family hadn't agreed if we should tell Bella or not about our nature. We were evenly split with Jazz, Emmett, and myself arguing for telling her and Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle arguing in favour of allowing her to come to it in her own time. Additionally, Carlisle had been of two minds about it, despite leaning with Esme. Consequently, nothing was decided. He wanted to give Bella time to come to it in her own way. It was after he had returned from his shift on Saturday morning that things got heated.

"And what about the Volturi?" Jasper had contended. "They could show up at any time. It's too great a risk, Carlisle. Certainly you don't want to risk your own mate over not telling Bella something she already knows."

Carlisle looked torn and glanced over at Esme.

"They won't care about her accident," Jazz continued.

"Well, if she doesn't remember then the law isn't broken," Carlisle hedged.

"Except it was broken," he seethed, "and the only two options given were to kill her or turn her. Not to mention that with each day that passes we run the risk of Edward doing something else monumentally imprudent. I told you when you asked the first time about what I had tasted emotionally between them that it could only end in Edward's death or her turning. They were too tightly bound even then and it's only gained in intensity." Jazz fumed at Carlisle.

"Nothing is lost by waiting a little bit, Jasper."

"Everything can be lost in an instant, Carlisle. Did we not just witness that? Did you not hear when Alice told you that without Bella Edward won't survive and without Edward this family won't survive. Surely by now you know to heed Alice's visions. Surely by now I don't have to tell you that if we don't turn her soon everything you have built will be destroyed. We will be destroyed."

"Jasper, Alice saw her as a newborn," Carlisle said softly.

"For how long? How long is our window until something changes again. Never before has Alice lost one of those types of visions. Things are shifting in ways we don't understand. You're making wild guesses based on your morals. I'm not attacking your intensions nor your desire to live morally. Never had never will. These things hold us together as a family and not a coven, but do not forget for one instant that we are vampires. You are asking us all to risk certain death or a life on the run for what? For something they had both already agreed upon. The only question left was timing. I'm not challenging you, Carlisle, but I'm telling you up front I will not stand by. If you're not willing to save our skins, at least save your own and Esme's."

"Jasper," Carlisle spoke even softer than before.

Jazz stormed out. He had come back a few hours later, right before I had to leave, but had entered through our window in order to avoid Carlisle.

Even on my way to pick up Bella, I wasn't sure if Jasper would follow Carlisle's lead in keeping Bella in the dark for now. Jasper's reaction was in no small part a result of the vision given to me of what would happen to us all if the Edward/Bella problem wasn't fixed. He, above all, made his choices by my visions. He knew, even if in the vision he and I had survived, the fact that it foretold the end of Cullen family would cause me to be unhappy. And my wonderful husband didn't want to live with me unhappy when there was an obvious alternative choice in front of us. I had to only hope that Carlisle knew that Jazz meant every word of what he had said. He would do whatever was necessary.

Getting out of the Volvo I knocked on Bella's front door.

Bella answered.

"Just when you said," she greeted me.

No surprise at my impeccable timing. Huh. I had expected an explanation would have been needed.

Charlie was sitting in the kitchen reading his paper.

"Shall we pack? Or rather you pack while I watch?" Bella asked me.

"How many days are we packing for?"

She looked thoughtful. "How many days do I usually stay for a sleepover?"

"Usually three days." I answered being careful to appear human. It was too easy to forget in front of her.

"Okay. Let's pack for that."

"Lead the way." I assumed that was okay with Charlie since he hadn't said anything, but then there was the chance he wasn't listening.

She ascended the stairs and I followed afterward entering her bedroom her bag lay on her bed empty. Moving to the first drawer–the one with shirts–I explained that she would want one shirt for each day, so we should pack three shirts. Narrowing down the options to five she then chose three. In this way we put into the bag everything she would need.

"Bathroom stuff?" I asked.

"Already packed." Then she handed it to me.

I added it to the bag carrying it downstairs.

She didn't grab keys or a purse or a phone.

"Bye Charlie," she called.

"Bye, Bella. Remember how to reach me?"

"At the station ask for you or on your cell," she answered rotely as if Charlie had already asked her this multiple times.

"Okay. Have a good time." He paused like he wanted to say something else, so I searched the future. Sure enough he did.

Bella just waited standing next to me trusting me. It was nice that she did, but quite un-Bella like that she did so without at least curiosity or aggravation.

"Alice?" he finally said.

"Yes, Charlie."

"The doctor said she needed to be real careful. Her head isn't healed yet."

"No problem, Charlie. We'll take it easy."

"Very easy."

"No problem."

"And nothing new."

"Yes, sir, nothing new. Got it," and then saluted.

He smiled at my antics. "See you tomorrow, Bella," he said before turning back to the paper.

"Actually, sir, we had planned on three days like she used to," I pointed out.

"I want her back by dinner on Monday or earlier. She needs to be home."

Checking he was going to firm.

"Yes, sir, Monday in time for dinner."

"Have a good time, Bella," he said and turned back to his paper.

We walked out of the door. She had said nothing to Charlie, closed the door, but didn't lock it, and walked towards the car. It was weird. She always locked it. Carlisle had mentioned that the way she walked was different. It probably wasn't noticeable to a human, but it was there. If she recognized the Volvo, she didn't say anything. I had brought it hoping it would trigger a memory of Edward.

"How's Edward?" she asked after a few minutes.

I made sure to mind the speed limit.

"Nothing to possibly frighten her," Carlisle had warned sternly.

"About the same," I told Bella.

She nodded. No twenty questions. No being pushy. It was the shy reflective thoughtful Bella without the demanding inquisitive part. I missed my friend, even though she was sitting right next to me. Once more I wished that I hadn't failed her. We should have turned her rather than taking her to the hospital.

My mind naturally went back to the doubt and gloom that had consumed me between the hours of telling the family what my gift had shown me, as a result of Edward freezing, and receiving the vision of newborn Bella. Before my eyes my gift had shown me the end to our family unit with no way to change it. It was the absolute worst I had ever felt. Never before, since my eyes had opened wakened into this life, had I been filled with this sense of hopelessness. My gift of clairvoyance had always created possibilities in situations that might have otherwise seemed dire. Maria's visit in Calgary was one example that came to mind. If my gift no longer allowed me to protect my family what use was I? It was a purely existential question that challenged my purpose and meaning, a "who am I now?" kind of question. My understanding of myself as I related to the world had been pulled from under me. I was truly lost for the first time like Alice in Alice in Wonderland tumbling through life with no aid or guide but a bubbling rabbit. It didn't fair well for me or for the family.

It was all made worse by the fact that Jasper and I are so connected. As I tumbled, so did he. Jasper picked up my mood and spread it to the rest of the family. None of us had a pleasant couple of hours until Jasper was able to reign himself in. Even then it was a challenge for Jasper because without me as his hopeful confident bubbly centre the emotions of everyone else pulled him under like crashing waves and rip tides. He was out of practise and, I'd argue, irritated for he had been correct about my puzzle, but too late for it to make a difference. As he struggled to regain his equilibrium he was unable to help me find mine. We clung to one another like life preservers riding the tsunami that threatened us all. According to Jazz it was after he had found his calm centre once more that the discussion had begun. I had been so lost in my thoughts attempting to reconcile my world and find a solution to Edward that the family's conversation about whether we should attempting bringing Edward out of his state were done almost outside of my awareness. I had been overwhelmed with my inner world and my need to cling to Jasper's body had been consuming until the vision of newborn Bella had showed up.

When it came to me, there was a beacon of light in the storm. Hope existed once more, not in the seemingly endless confidence that had been, but some. Enough to aid Jasper who then gave it to everyone else, although my brain told me Carlisle was at the hospital. Perhaps they weren't in need of it as Jasper and I had been, but he sent it anyway for no other reason than to convey without words that he and I would be all right. When I had left to pick up Bella Jazz still wasn't his usual calm self. He was on edge waiting for the sky to fall in. It wasn't helped by how divergent his thinking was from Carlisle's. Never had they been at such odds.

Somehow in the midst of this storm I had separated myself from Jazz and had gone with Esme to visit Bella. My visit to Bella had been done in a foggy haze acting more on autopilot than conscious thought. My brain can supply the information to say that I was there at most. More than anything, however, I couldn't shake the feeling that nothing was for certain and everything mattered, assuming we wanted to prevent the demise of the Cullen family, which would come to pass if we didn't bring Bella into our world and restore Edward. Hopefully my acting skills were good enough that Bella didn't notice a difference between me at the hospital and here in the car with her.

"Will he be there?" she asked 5 minutes and 41.2 seconds after getting into the car.

"Yes. We put him in his bed."

She nodded again. She began looking around the car. Occasionally she'd get an odd expression or her eyes would change like they were far away. It was disconcerting.

As we turned into our driveway, Bella turned to me and asked, "Where did the lights go?"

Good thing my mind worked faster than hers because it took me a whole 94.3 seconds to figure out what she was talking about.

"We took them down after the party."

She remembered the lights around the trees. What an unusual random thing to remember. The good news was that she had remembered.

The family had agreed to recreate the moment when Edward first brought her to the house as close as we could.

She opened her door and walked up the stairs like she knew where she was going. Having to go at human speed she beat me to the door and opened it herself as if she lived here. She stopped only 1.9 centimetres from the spot she had been in the first time.

"Bella, you remember Carlisle."

She nodded.

He came forward and put out his hand.

She looked confused and then shook it.

"And Esme." Esme repeated Carlisle's actions.

Bella looked even more confused.

Maybe this wasn't such a great idea.

Jasper came down the stairs slowly. "This is Jasper."

He nodded as only a southern gentleman can. "Hello."

"Hello, Jasper. Nice to meet you," Bella replied, but she looked like she wasn't really here.

Slowly he came and stood next to me. As he did, Rosalie and Emmett started down the stairs. "And Rosalie and Emmett."

"Hello," Bella offered.

"Hello, Bella. Nice to see you awake," Rosalie offered back.

"Hey, kiddo," Emmett greeted her. He walked towards her slowly and wrapped his arms around her picking her up. "Nice to have you back," he said as he put her back down and took a step back.

"Thanks for visiting me, Emmett." Bella smiled at him.

Us Cullens stood there not sure what to do. Jasper had taken my hand. I focused on the hope that was beginning to grow within me in having Bella here. He squeezed my hand in gratitude.

Carlisle finally rescued us. "So, Bella, how was your first night home?"

She looked pensive. Eventually she answered. "It was unsettling. I knew it was where I lived. I would have random flashes of events that must have happened in the past. It's like having someone show you a still picture, but without information. I know that everyone else remembers those moments like I remember angels and phoenixes, but I can't seem to get my brain to be like everyone else's." She sighed like she was struggling.

Jasper sent me a taste of confusion and frustration. That must be from Bella.

Emmett looked like he was working very hard not to make a joke at her expense. Good thing even Emmett knew this wasn't the time or place.

"You're healing. We don't expect you to be who we remember. We know things have changed for you. And we are looking forward to spending time with you as you are. None of what has happened changes anything for our family. Esme's and my conversations with you are just as fervent as ever. We would just ask one thing of you. Please, Bella, if you have a memory here or you're uncertain about something, ask us questions. We hope that all of your memories will return to you, but in case they do not, know that changes nothing for us."

She nodded slowly. "Okay, I have a question."

Carlisle nodded for her to go ahead.

"Does Edward play baseball?"

Jazz laughed and his surprise spread to all of us causing us all to laugh.

Bella looked hurt, so we each tried to stop while Jazz reined himself in.

"Of course, Bella, we all play baseball," Emmett answered indignantly.

She looked at Carlisle for reassurance.

"That was rude of us, Bella. We apologize. We were just surprised by your question. Things have been quite tense around here with Edward's condition and everything. You rarely act as we expect, so nothing new there." He smiled sweetly with a look of asking for forgiveness.

"The first time you were here you talked a lot about our house," I told her.

"Oh," she muttered looking reassured. "Well, you do have a nice house. But I was wondering if I ever watched Edward play baseball with you?"

We all smiled a little sad and amused. This was a different Bella.

"Yes, Bella, you watched us play baseball," Emmett answered exasperated.

"There is no longer nothing," Jasper whispered into my ear.

"Actually you had helped Esme referee," Emmett added. "Edward's team was winning when–"

"Em, please," Rosalie interrupted.

He huffed. "She asked," he pointed out.

Bella had an odd expression like she was trying to put pieces of a puzzle together while she looked back and forth between them.

Checking Edward's future was no longer blank but instead terribly fuzzy so much in fact that I still couldn't discern the outcome. I imagined that if there was change it indicated a possibility that he would wake up. What was needed was to be able to see whether he would kill Bella when he did so, though.

"I'm wondering, Carlisle, if this might be a good time for Bella to see Edward?" I asked.

He gave me a warning look back.

"Unless Bella has more questions, of course," I amended sheepishly.

"Well, let's go to the living room first," Carlisle suggested carefully watching Bella.

She looked confused, but followed him without question.

Jasper and I came into the living room but remained standing.

Carlisle and Esme sat together on the couch.

Rosalie and Emmett went and stood next to the far wall.

Bella sat herself down on the floor between us all.

"Bella, I didn't say anything about Edward at the hospital for two reasons. One, I didn't want people at the hospital gossiping about what they might have overhead me saying to you. The walls have ears in that place. Edward is a terribly private person and would have been incredibly uncomfortable if that were to happen. Two, I didn't want to overwhelm you. You already have a lot going on. I'd like to explain now what's wrong with him. Will you promise to stop me if anything I say is confusing to you?"

She nodded. Silence. "I promise," she added.

He nodded collecting his thoughts. "Edward is in shock. He looks like he's awake, but he's not. It's like he's lost in his own head. We don't know how to convince him to come back to us. We hoped that if you were with us that it might help him, but there's a great risk to you. It is possible that when he wakes up he will not be in his right mind and attack you. You being alive and unhurt are our priorities. So, we are caught in a dilemma, and wanted you to be a part of our family discussion, especially after your request that last night in the hospital."

Carlisle's reference confirmed for me that they had spoken about the time the vision of Bella as a newborn had returned to me. Thus, Bella must have made a decision causing its resurgence. The confirmation was appreciated, while simultaneously it caused any leftover hopes I might have had in the concept of my visions being fated to disappear.

She nodded gravely.

"Questions?"

"Not yet."

"Good girl. Tell me when you have one."

She nodded solemnly.

I checked, put up my hand, and caught Carlisle's eye. Fortunately he held back whatever he was going to say.

"Actually …" she started hesitantly.

"Please, Bella," Carlisle prodded.

"After you explain about Edward are we going to talk about my scars? You had promised to do so when I came over for the sleepover."

"I sure did. Glad you remembered." He looked around.

"Yes," Emmett said without pause.

"No," Rosalie said nearly at the same time.

"Yes," both Jasper and I said.

"No," said Esme.

Bella looked confounded.

"Sorry, Bella, we tend to vote on almost everything in our family."

Her eyes got bigger and she looked around. "Would you vote on me moving in?" she whispered, as if Carlisle was the only one who could hear her, while she leaned in towards him.

"Yes, but you have to understand, Bella. Before you were in the hospital you had already made this decision, so it's quite complicated at the moment because we are unsure if we follow what you had asked for before or now?"

"Oh. What had been the vote about me moving in before?"

"Edward had asked you to marry him and you had said yes. You were to become a Cullen," Esme told her softly. "But the both of you hadn't gotten a chance to tell anyone. Edward told us after you were admitted to the hospital."

"Oh," she said, but she had an appreciative look.

"And as a family we're in disagreement about whether it's right to have you move in when you don't remember all of that."

Bella looked like she was going to cry.

Esme got out of her seat and went over to Bella at a human pace, then wrapped her arms around her. "Oh, wonderful girl, it's not like that. I told you that you can become a Cullen no matter what you and Edward decide. And the family voted for you to become a Cullen, it's only a matter of when. Some of us are more impatient than others." By the end her eyes twinkled and she had a smile as if this wasn't a life or death issue.

"You're sure?"

"Certain," Esme fervently said.

"No doubt," I added.

"Absolutely," Jasper added.

"Duh," Emmett joked.

She looked around unsure.

"Do you have more questions?" Esme asked her.

"No, thank you," she replied.

Although, we hadn't answered her first question, as we were split again.

"We need Edward awake. There are enough of us. We can keep her safe. I can feel something now from him. It's worth the risk."

Agreeing with Jasper, except for the last bit, I added, "His present state is clouding the future. I can't give you an outcome." Nervousness was a top emotion in me since my gift was failing me. Even without it, though, I trusted Jazz that if he were to risk Bella's life to wake Edward that he knew what he was doing.

"If there's change, then we should risk it," Emmett added. "We can keep her safe."

"Do it," Rosalie put in, which surprised me.

I wondered what had changed her mind.

Bella raised her hand tentatively.

"Yes, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"What did Jasper mean when he said that he could feel something new from him? I didn't understand that part."

Carlisle looked at Jasper. Bella followed his gaze.

Jasper didn't even pause. Obviously, he hadn't changed his mind. "I have a special gift. I can read other people's emotions. When he went into shock he was blank. No emotions at all. Now I can feel emotions coming from him. There has been a change."

Bella nodded slowly as if she was processing the information.

Us Cullens turned to Esme. "I can't risk Bella's well-being, especially since she just left the hospital. Edward will come out of it on his own."

"Bella?" Carlisle asked, "What are your thoughts?"

"Edward came to visit me every day," she smiled at Carlisle like they were sharing an inside joke. "I wanted to visit him as soon as I knew he was sick. I still want to visit him. I understand that you say that it's dangerous, but there are six of you and one of him, surely you could stop him if he behaved poorly." Her tone indicated that she trusted us in our assessments, yet was slightly baffled at our precautions.

This was the self-sacrificing Bella that Edward had multiple times complained to me about.

"You might be quite frightened," Carlisle pointed out, "if that were to happen."

"My angel won't hurt me." She said this so emphatically so assuredly that it practically ended the conversation.

Carlisle looked at Jasper. "Jasper, what is your suggestion?"

"Alice holding Bella to move her if needed. Me next to Alice calming him, if I can. Emmett behind holding him. Rosalie to Edward's left, you on his right, and Esme on the other side of Bella from me."

Carlisle looked around the room. No one objected.

"And then what?" Rosalie questioned.

We all looked at her.

"So, let's say we get him to come out. Then what? Are we going to babysit him some more? It's not like he's been entirely stable."

"His desire for Bella has been negligible since he returned from Italy," Jasper told.

"And now? Do we know what Edward we're going to get?"

I checked to see if our recent decision to see had cleared the future up at all. It hadn't. I shook my head no.

She looked into each of our faces. "I'm all for waking him, but I don't want to be on babysitting duty after."

"You bring up a good point," Carlisle commended. "If that ends up being necessary, then we can cross that bridge when we come to it. I appreciate that you're willing to do this part, Rosalie."

"Well, if I don't my options are dead or a nomad according to Alice," she muttered too fast for Bella.

Carlisle looked at Bella. Her eyes had grown large. "Do you have a question?"

"What did Rosalie mean by not knowing what Edward we're going to get?"

"Rosalie," Esme scolded in our sub-human mutter. "You need to watch what you say."

"Sorry, I thought we were including her," Rosalie argued back at the same speed.

"Well, see," Carlisle began, "Edward has really changed a lot since he met you and Rosalie's concerned about what stage in his getting to know you process he'll wake up in."

"See, no problem," Rosalie threw in Esme's face too quick for Bella.

Bella seemed to be considering that.

"Are you still willing?"

"Uh-huh," she said after a few minutes.

"Bella, if it's okay, Emmett, Rosalie, and I will go into the room, and then when we're ready you, Alice, Jasper and Esme will come in. Alice will have her hands around your waist to move you out of the way just in case. Are you agreeable?" Carlisle asked her.

"Uh-huh," was her reply, but her eyes were as wide as saucers.

"If you're scared, we can wait, Bella," Jasper offered.

"No, it's okay. I trust you all. It's just strange because I can't remember why I trust you, just that I know deep inside myself that makes no sense that each of you would give your life to keep me safe. It's just my brain telling me that I'm an idiot for trusting a bunch of people I don't remember."

We each flinched at her last sentence. It seemed that we weren't telling her what we were after all.

Jazz relaxed beside me her words seeming to soothe him. My hope grew.

A/N: I cannot thank you enough for leaving me notes of encouragement and feedback. I'm in the process of moving and you are keeping me motivated to find the time to get this finished before the movers come at the end of the month. Thank you again!