Doofenshmirtz's Daily Dirt

by Jet Engine

Greetings! It is I, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, here to tell you all about the various things you should like or hate. You may know me from my appearances on YouTube, but now I'm taking over Fanfiction! Now, all I have to do is blast you with my read-inator, so you'll read my Daily Dirts. Also, if there's a topic you'd like me to cover, just let me know.

25. Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving

Happy Turkey Day, ladies and gentle minions! It is I, your future ruler, here with a Thanksgiving installment of Doof's Daily Dirt!

Oh, how I love Thanksgiving! It's the one time of the year when you have an excuse to ignore your fad diet and eat until your pants explode. Okay, I'm fairly confident that pants can't explode. They can spontaneously combust - curtisy of my old pants-on-fire-inator - but they can't expode. You know, yet.

While seeing the family is great and all, everyone knows that the best part of Thanksgiving is the food. Cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, and who can forget the turkey. Mm, mm, mm! I am getting hungry just thinking about it.

And, here's something interesting about Thanksgiving: turkey bowling! I'm not sure you've heard of it, but I have. Turkey bowling is basically the same thing as bowling, but with a frozen turkey in the place of the bowling ball. But, what if we used a live turkey? Huh? I mean, we eat turkeys. Why not bowl with them, too?

So, get out there and bowl with a turkey! And, when you're done, you can cook that turkey and eat him up! Or, her. Depending on the turkey's gender.