I dare you

A/N: You will laugh. At the end. lol. MISSION #4 TIME! :D

Chapters 25

5 minutes after leaving the training rooms Natasha and Clint stood in front of their rather informal boss while he proceeded to give them the eye.

"Why is it that every time you two are occupying the air space on my base you go at each other's throat's like wild beasts? Was prison not enough?" Fury asked angrily. They both gave him a long look.

Nobody really wanted to talk about Spain. Fury took the hint.

"Fine - silence is golden. So you have a choice agents. You can either continue your momentary break from missions and finish up that paperwork or you can go on a mission that is not quite in your area. If you don't want it that is fine-" Fury started to say but instantly stopped talking as he stared at agent Barton with a way look. What was up with his face?

Clint suddenly lost his cool as a look of extreme horror crossed his face. Natasha furrowed her brow – what the hell?

"Oh god no! Give us the mission Fury! I'm begging you!" Clint said falling to his knees with pleading eyes. That was a first.

Natasha and Fury shared a long look. Who was the one who was being restless now? She thought silently.

"Do you not feed him or something Romanoff?" Fury asked blankly. She snorted.

"He eats like a pig sir. I don't think it's his stomach this is being deprived," she said dryly. He raised an eyebrow as he glanced between Barton's wide oversized saucer-like blue eyes and Romanoff's standard blank expression. He really didn't understand how their partnership worked. Not at all.

"So he just wants attention yes?" he said with a sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Natasha shrugged.

"Probably," she said dryly. Fury gave her a grim look. Clint gaped at his partner and boss teaming up against him.

"I AM STILL HERE PEOPLE!" Clint exclaimed waving his arms around trying to make himself known. They purposely ignored him of course. Fury rolled eyes his eyes and pulled open his drawer.

"Fine - you want a mission Barton? You got it," Fury said tossing him a green folder. Clint caught it easily and gave him his a megawatt smile. Fury stared at him with a very clear unamused expression. Really Agent Barton was too much sometimes. He was supposed to be one of the best agents at SHIELD. Honestly if they didn't have proof of his work in the field they would have kicked his ass out of here a long time ago.

"Pack up your stuff you two are going to Colombia. By the way you're also going to need different uniform for that terrain," Fury said eying their standard SHIELD uniform in distaste. Those were going to be terribly useless in this mission. Clint's cheerfulness instantly wiped off his face – time for business. Natasha found a lot of things about Clint Barton annoying and downright aggravating. But she appreciated his ability to switch between his many moods easily – more easily than she ever could.

Even if that did make him seem slightly bi polar.

"Why?" they asked in unison with matching wary expressions. Fury paused – damn that was some scary synchronization. Apparently under all the ice and cheerfulness they both ran on the same mental wavelength. It was spooky. Fury gave them a wary look.

"Because you two are going to take a hike through the amazon and get dirty as hell. You're going to trek through a sanctioned patch of grass no one has been allowed on for over 60 years," he said gravely. They said they wanted a mission – not that it was going to be ideally in their specialty.

They both blinked as they glanced down at the mission files sitting in Clint's hands.

"It's a god damn nature reserve Fury. Why the hell are we flying out into the middle of nowhere with only gigantic beasts roaming around for miles?" Clint asked cautiously. Fury leaned back against his chair and gave him a long look. They all knew there was something else – there always was.

"Because a Colombian arms dealer named Rafael Castro is building motherfucking missiles underneath the sanctioned reserve. He plans to sell them on the black market and then those stupid ass pieces of metal will become a pain in my ass in less than 6 months. So to save myself a headache – you're going to go shut them down," Fury said with a dead serious look on his face. They didn't question his judgment on how dangerous this potentially was for the world at large – however they did question his sanity on whether this was actually a job for just 2 agents. It sounded like a full SHIELD team crackdown.

"How big is the underground compound?" Clint asked cautiously. He didn't like the look on his boss' face.

"2 square miles," Fury said steadily.

Dead silence.

"How the hell do we stop an artillery factory that size Fury? We're good - but we can't and we won't kill the number of people it's required to run a project that big," Clint said firmly. He had a place where even he would draw the line and this was it. Fury gave him a long look.

"I'm not asking you to blow up hundreds of people Barton. I'm not asking you to kill anyone today. I just need you to unleash the beasts," he said with an evil glint in his eyes. Natasha and Clint stared at their boss with matching wary looks. He was doing it again.

"What?" they asked blankly.

"Nanobots," Fury said with an evil smirk on his face. They both froze.

"What do you mean nanobots?" Clint asked slowly.

"Metal eating nanobots," Fury said whipping a clear plastic bag at the wary looking sniper. He caught the bag full of dubious micro weapon technology and shared a wary look with his partner.

"Nothing ends well when it depends on technology," Natasha said blankly. Fury raised an eyebrow.

"Technology is what makes the world go round agents," he said plainly. The two world-wary agents still didn't look any more convinced.

"Do these nanobots eat…people?" Clint asked with a wince. Oh dear god this mission was already starting to sound crazy. Fury snorted.

"No you idiots it's a machine not a man-eating beast," Fury said giving them a severely unimpressed look. Clint scoffed.

"I wouldn't put it passed you," Clint muttered under his breath. Fury gave him the eye.

"What was that Barton?" Fury asked dangerously. Clint quickly flashed his director a blinding smile.

"Nothing Sir," he said showing some pretty white teeth. Fury's eyes twitch. He could only stand their presence for so long. Natasha quickly intervened in the staring match that might just turn into a shooting match in 5 seconds.

"How are we getting in there exactly?" she asked slowly. Fury suddenly smirked - he simply smirked. She tensed – she really didn't like those kinds of smirks. It made her want to kill people she probably shouldn't. When her partner started smirking too when he realized what his boss was thinking she knew she might end up killing them all anyway.

9 hours of boring flight time later.

"I HATE FALLING!" she screamed as they fell through the sky at increasing speeds – for once they were falling with real parachutes though. Clint grinned as he heard her scream.

"I totally knew that from the second we become partners!" he laughed as he fell beside her enjoying the wind rushing past his face as they fell 2000 feet above the ground. It was amazing!

"SHUT UP BARTON! I HOPE YOU DIE AS A PANCAKE WHEN WE HIT THE GROUND!" she shouted at him over the loud air rushing passed them. Clint simply beamed at her as he leaned forward and flicked her nose. She blinked – what was that?

"You're funny," he said simply. She promptly scowled at him and shoved him away from her.

"Go die by yourself!" she muttered heatedly. His laughter rang in her ears as they approached the earth's surface at increasing speeds. It was almost time to pull their chutes. He wished he had a camera to capture the utter horror on her face when she came to realize this too.

"Tasha you get high off almost all dangerous situations and yet you can't stand heights?" he asked in amusement. She scowled as him as her hair flew into her face.

"I don't mind heights! It's the damn feeling of weightlessness I hate! I like my feet on the ground!" she growled. He laughed softly at her extreme frustration and gave her a warm look.

"I like being in the air – for a second you can pretend nothing on earth can hold you down and all the shit that you carry around is lifted off your shoulders for a moment," he said quietly. She lost the scowl on her face and blinked when she realized he was being serious again. She looked away and stared at the clouds they were falling through.

"But then that moment ends Barton," she said quietly. He smiled weakly as he watched her fall beside him.

"And that's when you close your eyes and start pretending it didn't end – not yet," he whispered with a faraway look on his face. She wondered how much of what he was telling her was really what went on in his messed up head. You can't live through the horrors he had been through and come out completely sane. She knew he wasn't completely sane – but then she probably wasn't either.

"Time to pull the chute Barton," she said quietly as she stared at his warm eyes. Maybe it was okay if he wasn't quite sane. She didn't think he could stand her if he was. They locked eyes and pulled their parachute straps at the same time.

Only Clint's parachute opened. Natasha tensed as she tugged at her strap frantically as she continued to fall faster. She gritted her teeth.

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW I WAS GOING TO DIE AS A PANCAKE ASSASSIN!" she shouted as she covered her face with her hands. She heard his booming laughter and clenched her jaw.

"Stop laughing!" she shouted as she slammed her eyes shut. She knew she was going to end up dying in a stupid way – her life was too screwed up like that. And the best part was that he was going to be here to watch the whole damn thing. She was about to resign herself to her doomed fate when she felt strong arms wrap around her waist and easily pull her out of free-fall. She felt her entire body start to lose speed and felt the uneasiness rack through her body as she started to slow down. She clenched her fists as he leaned his chin on her shoulder.

"You're not going to die Tasha – I won't let you. You promised we'd be partners forever remember?" he whispered in her ear. She growled at his stupid double meanings – he was messing with her when she was about to die? She wanted to punch him and push him away but then she noticed the rapidly approaching ground and quickly spun around in his arms.

"Barton if you drop me I will come back from the dead and kick your ass – I swear I will," she muttered as she quickly threw her arms around his neck and held onto him tightly. She was not going to die if she could help it! He suddenly inhaled sharply as he felt her warp herself around his body with her legs around his waist. Natasha never hugs him. She never returns his embraces. It was shocking his system that she was voluntary holding onto him – and even though he knew it was only to save her own neck…it felt nice to be held. She stared at the weird look on his face in suspicion.

"Why the hell do you look like you're about to die happy Barton?" she growled inches from his face. He laughed and just shook his head.

"No reason," he said with a sudden mischievous grin on his face. She narrowed her eyes at the dirty bastard.

"If you dare think any gutter worthy thoughts about this position I will shoot you when we reach the damn juggle ground!" she hissed at him. He simply continued to grin deviously at her and raised an eyebrow. She then froze as she realized where exactly his hands were resting as he kept her balanced against him.

They were on her ass.

"BARTON!" she shrieked at the top of her lungs. He laughed as she shook with rage in his arms and quickly glanced down at the treetops they were about to hit. Oh shit.

"Get ready for a rough landing!" he shouted before their feet touched the trees and then they were suddenly falling past the thick rainforest treetop layer and hitting hundreds of branches as they fell between the thick trunks.

"This was a stupid place to fall!" she growled as she held onto him as they hit branch after branch. He winced as he dragged her closer to his body and tried to take most of the hit.

"I can't exactly steer this thing while holding on to you at the same time!" he said irritably as he tried to grab onto one of the hundreds of thick tree branches around them and slow their fall. She growled as she held him tighter.

"We're not stopping Barton!" she shouted as she felt another branch scrap her cheek and leave and angry red trail of blood on her face. He gritted his teeth and glanced up at the parachute dragging them down.

"Don't let go!" he shouted before he quickly let go of her and reached up to unhook himself from the parachute. She wasn't prepared to be the only thing holding her to him and when she felt them fall faster than before she was too startled to keep her grip on him and felt him slip right out of her arms. She flailed her arms around in panic for a second before she promptly landed on a large branch with a painful thump. Clint gaped at her in shock.

"I told you not to let go!" he shouted as he fell the rest of the way to the forest floor. Natasha gasped still out of breath from the impact as she held onto the thick branch and winced when she heard him hit something hard with a loud smack.

She was about to take a deep breath and ask him if he was still alive when she heard a loud telltale squeal. She glanced down at the forest floor and squinted her eyes. Was that him?

"Barton?" she asked in confusion. The next thing she knew her partner was tumbling out of the under bush with a panicked look on his face. He quickly scrambled to his feet and literally ran for his life.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Clint screamed as he ran across the forest floor. She furrowed her brow in confusion – why was he acting like a manic? She glanced at the movement in the bush behind him and froze. Suddenly she caught sight of an angry capybara hot on his tail. Natasha shook her head in amazement as she watched her partner run past her.

"He started the day with blowing my ear drums and he ends the day with blowing my ear drums. Seriously. What am I going to do with you Barton?" she muttered as she sat in the tree and watched him run for his pathetic life with the gigantic rodent chasing him through the forest.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH HELP ME DAMN IT TASHA!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. She rolled her eyes.

"Run up a tree idiot!" she cupped her hands over her mouth and shouted at him. He shot her a dirty look.

"It's kind of hard to do with a fucking beast on your tail!" he screamed back at her. She rolled her eyes.

"At least this is better than paperwork right?" she asked with a smirk. He scowled viciously at her.

"I was going crazy there from boredom and I'll go crazy here from the sheer madness of the wild. Nowhere is safe for my sanity Tasha!" he shouted as he quickly sped up. That angry capybara really didn't like Barton falling on him and waking him up from his deep slumber.

"You were never sane you crazy bastard," she said rolling her eyes. She suddenly heard Clint shriek in distress.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH! STOP TRYING TO BITE ME!" Clint shouted as he continued to run in circles with the gigantic rodent snapping at him angrily. She chuckled darkly.

This was definitely going to be a mission she would never forget.

Oh and Capybaras were her new best friend.

"Go Capy Go!" she called out with a smirk. Clint gaped up at her as he continued to run for his life.

"WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON WOMAN?" he shouted in disbelief.

.

.

.

.

.

A/N: Ahahahaha! I have nothing to say other than the fact that this is supposed to be one funny mission – until everything goes to shit of course ;)

Ready to start another mission adventure? Anything you want to happen to them in the wild? I have some…interesting ideas. Before they figure out where this underground base is of course.