Snowy – Josh Rouse
Year 61
Everyone settled back into their routines after the longest two weeks of their lives. Jackson Avery, their husband, their father, their grandfather had died. In his sleep. On Christmas night. A dark cloud hung over their family. There were so many conversations that they left unfinished and stories that were left untold.
The funeral was a Thursday morning at the church they'd gone to for over sixty years. Every pew in the church was full which was surprising because at that age you've seen more people die than you can remember meeting.
The air was frigidly cold and eerily quiet. There was no snow by the ground just looked hard. The sea of black in the church was morose at best. The service went by quickly, too quick for such a long life in fact. All three of his kids had requested to speak and even a few close friends.
April looked around at the crowd. Most of their friends from the glory days at Seattle Grace were already gone. Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd died years ago and so did Owen Hunt. Amelia was still around but she lived with one of their daughters in southern California. Arizona passed away a couple of years ago after a battle with pneumonia. They hadn't seen Callie for years after she got remarried and moved to Florida to be near her parents. Jo died almost twenty years ago after losing a battle with cancer. Alex Karev sat with their kids and April up front. He held her hand through the service, until she got up to speak.
She didn't say much. "Jackson Avery was my best friend, my lover, my husband and I'll miss him every day for the rest of my life. There's a Maya Angelou poem that I'd like to share."
April didn't pull out a piece of paper, but instead looked back at her husband.
In all the world there is no heart for me like yours.
In all the world there is no love for you like mine.
Me and you
The wake afterward was somehow easy. They gathered at Graycin's for food and coffee. The mood was dark but people were there to celebrate his life and not mourn his death. They knew that was what he would have wanted.
One of Colin's boys put together a slideshow to play in the living room. It had pictures of every kind on it. Wedding pictures, birthday and anniversary pictures. He added pictures from the first time Jackson and April bought a house together and Jackson and April holding each of their three kids for the very first time in the hospital.
The crowd would laugh every time a picture of Jackson playing dress up with a little Erin popped up, he had lipstick on and was sipping "tea" while she painted his nails a bright pink. It was one of her favorite memories of her dad.
A picture of Jackson putting on new Jordan's popped up and the look on his face was priceless. He'd collected the sneakers for years and it had been a running joke. He loved them dearly.
The slideshow rolled around to an angry and very pregnant April refusing to turn around and look at Jackson. No one including April could remember what she was mad about at the time but the picture was taken by Alex during a board meeting in Boston one year. They remembered that much. She looked about ten months pregnant and Jackson had a shit eating grin on his face.
Gradually throughout the slideshow the pictures showed their age more and more. There were pictures from Europe and their trips to Africa, Australia and South America. Their year in the Peace Corps together in Honduras and when they got to see their grandchildren for the first time.
The best picture was one that had Jackson and Emily in it. It was him and her at Graycin and her vow renewal one year. Her parents had never been present in her life, she was basically on her own from fifteen. Jackson offered to walk her down the aisle. She was forty years old him the picture but she still looked like a little girl. She was wearing a light colored dress and wiping her tears as Jackson hugged her tightly. She was a daughter to him from day one.
A few days later and the family was gone. They started dwindling off day by day, having to get back to work and back to their normal routines after being home for Christmas for so long.
Emily stayed with April for a while at the house since she was retired and Graycin was going to go into the hospital in the morning. "How are you doing mom?"
She really thought she was okay. "I'm fine sweetheart. You don't have to stay with me tonight, I'll be okay." She tried to assure her concerned daughter-in-law. "Really."
Emily just looked worried. And sad. And maybe a little uneasy. "I know you're fine. I just worry. And this is your last night here before you get to come stay with us. We couldn't be more excited to have you."
She meant that. They got along marvelously and this way she wouldn't have to worry about April being alone. They were close anyway and it really wouldn't change that much in their world. April was easy. She cooked, she cleaned…
"You should get home, I'm going to finish putting together the last of my things before I go to bed. I'll call you in the morning?" April smiled, standing up to hug her goodbye. Emily stood up and gently hugged her.
April rubbed her back softly, trying to assure her that she would be okay for the night. "I'll be fine sweetheart."
Emily nodded. Her eyes were full of tears and she was trying to convince herself that her mother-in-law wasn't hurting. It wasn't working though.
"You know I love you very much, right?" April reminded her in a lasting effort to reassure the woman.
Emily nodded again. She did know that.
Shortly after that April was able to usher her out of the house so she could be alone. She just needed a night alone to gather herself and her thoughts. The loneliness was overwhelming.
She sat in the lounge chair in their living room because she still hadn't gone back to their bedroom where he had passed. It was too soon. It was their bedroom. They shared it and it felt wrong to be there without him.
Luckily she kept a box of tissues on the table near her chair because her eyes were like a broken spring cloud. The tears started and then they didn't stop. Nothing was the same anymore, nothing was the way it had been for the past sixty years. Seventy years really.
She hadn't been truly alone in sixty years. Reality was setting in and honestly at that point she was done. Her other half was gone.
Eventually she was able to nod off though, right where she sat. The table lamp was off but the tree was still lit up in the corner. They were planning on taking it down tomorrow when the movers came.
There's an old saying by Plato that goes, "According to Greek Mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves."
Half her soul went missing the morning her husband died and she never really got it back. She died that last night alone in their home. Graycin, Erin and Colin assumed the Lord took her and it was her time. Emily knew she went to find her other half.
The end.