Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin
Chapter Twenty-five – Waiting
A/N – A brief explanation – busy, busy, busy – sorry for the delay. Change of direction took some time to work out in my head and then type up. Also this was a bit of a song fic even though I abhor song fics but I was listening to this song, Waiting (I love Foreigner!) and it really seemed to fit the story. However, they're taking song fic stories down so I removed the lyrics. It's a beautiful song if you've never heard it and if you pull it up online and listen to it I think you'll see how Vic's feeling.
-xox-
Sitting across the street Victor had the perfect view of Ororo's townhouse but when her car pulled up he was puzzled and then he saw Yukio get out. She was alone and walked purposefully up the walk. He thought about getting out and following her then forcing himself inside but instead told himself to be patient.
His radio was on and an old rock song was blasting. Foreigner. He loathed the group but had come to secretly love this particular song ever since he'd met Ororo because it said what he had been feeling yet hadn't quite realized until he'd met her. The song was Waiting.
As the lyrics droned on he wanted to rip the radio out and shove it down the singer's throat. Only he couldn't make himself even reach for the dial. It was as if the song was burning itself into his very soul sprouting truths he didn't want to face yet couldn't deny. He loved her. It felt so right. He wanted her to feel that way too.
His anger surged, felt as if it were boiling ready to spill over to wreak disaster any instant. Normally he could strike out when he was this angry but he kept telling himself to be patient, wait it out, the reward would be worth it. So he contained himself despite the anger consuming him, the music undoing him and the feeling of hopelessness that had taken hold of him from the moment Ororo had walked out on him.
Furious, he clenched the steering wheel and shook it as if he wanted to pull it from its mounting but it was only a few more minutes before he saw Yukio and Logan coming out, Yukio laughing, chatting – happy. The runt looking like he'd been hit by a truck, stunned and stupid. Only, when Victor saw Yukio lift her mouth wide to the sky as if thirsty and trying to quench her thirst from some imaginary raindrops did his grip loosened on the steering wheel. The girl had to be crazy he thought but even so her actions reminded him of Ororo, her weather girl skills and love of rain. But the moment passed when Yukio laughed and dragged Logan to Ororo's car. He watched them drive away and then he started his car and followed them. A raindrop splashed onto the front window shield but he didn't notice.
Somewhere in the distance lightning flashed brilliantly and shortly a loud crash of thunder could be heard pealing and echoing like some ominous warning. But Victor had his mind on other things. His anger had fermented into some foul demonic thing and he had only one thought on his mind. He was going to kill Logan.
That had been the biggest mistake he'd ever made – not killing the runt. Now he'd rectify that and make sure it stuck then he'd go back for Ororo and fix everything. He'd get her back, make her pay for what she'd done to him for a little while then everything could go back to how it used to be. But she had to suffer first. He'd make sure they both suffered.
He hardly noticed the crash of lightning and explosive thunder as the bedlam storm raged on around him as his thoughts raced. Bent upon his task, he pressed the gas pedal as far as it could go and steered his car directly towards Ororo's. Rubber squealed on wet pavement as his car struck. Over the sounds of glass breaking and someone screaming he had one coherent thought before everything went black.
Ororo would hate him if she ever found out he'd hurt her little girl friend.
-xox-
For some reason that song, Waiting, kept playing over and over. At first he thought he had the song stuck on his mind like you sometimes do but slowly he began to realize the lyrics weren't in his head. The tune was coming in loud and clear as if the radio were right next to his head. He wanted to get up and turn the radio off but he couldn't move. What's more he couldn't feel anything either. He was numb. He tried to open his eyes but couldn't no matter how hard he tried. His efforts only frustrated him. The song continued playing. He was a prisoner in the dark, held captive by the haunting song that knew him so well.
Someone turn that damn song off!
Without warning a light came on and Victor discovered his eyes were open suddenly and he had to blink against the sudden brightness. Only his eyes moved. What was the matter? What – but suddenly he heard what he'd thought was the radio but was now Ororo singing that infernal song.
She was dusting. And she was dressed as usual when she was expecting him, wearing only that cute little ruffled French maid's apron around her waist and his favorite pair of stiletto heels.
Now she was bending over wiggling her ass like she knew he was watching her, putting on a show for him.
Oh yeah, Ro, baby! You know just what I like – come here will ya!
But she continued dusting over the contents of the room. Why couldn't she hear him? For that matter why couldn't he hear himself speaking? And what was up with him? He could only admire her body with his eyes. Nothing else seemed to be working!
"Whoa, Sabertooth bro! Dude wake the hell up!"
As many men do Victor had named his most cherished body part and for some reason his member – little Sabertooth – wasn't raising to the occasion.
Someone was knocking at the door and finally the Ororo stopped singing and it was quiet. She swished over to the door causing Victor to groan as he watched her undulating hips. Again, to his horror, Sabertooth remained flaccid. The only blood rushing anywhere was to his head when he saw Ororo letting Logan in. She didn't just let him in she welcomed him like an old lover, embracing him as if she hadn't seen him in years.
What they were saying he couldn't make out. Then Logan laughed and went to the spool table and pulled a chair out. Victor wanted to yell; to send the runt packing but he couldn't find his voice and he could only lay there paralyzed, watching his best friend. Why Logan was stepping onto the chair Victor couldn't make out. He wished he could pull the chair from under him then pick him up by the neck and toss him over the balcony.
Any minute amount of satisfaction he found from that thought was quickly suppressed when Logan, still standing on the chair, held his arms out for Ororo who quickly surrendered herself to him. Victor's anger mixed with the sudden urge to retch. Now Logan was taller than Ororo Victor saw and figured it was the only way the runt could kiss her and feel like a man because that was exactly what he was doing. He kissed Ororo hungrily as if to spite Victor.
Victor let out a roar that no one heard not even himself. He couldn't move, couldn't speak, could only watch his girl kissing his best friend. He'd never felt more helpless watching the two people he'd cared for most as they made out in front of him.
"Hey, Vic what's up man?"
Victor couldn't believe Logan was talking to him as if he hadn't just finished ravishing Ororo like she was his. She was still in his arms, her head on his chest, smiling contentedly.
"Still can't talk, eh?" Logan said.
As much as Victor wanted to lash out all he could manage was to shake his head. Logan grinned, jumped to the floor and taking Ororo's hand led her to the bed. With eyes as wide as they could possibly get Victor watched Logan push Ororo down so she was lying next to him. He couldn't keep from groaning again when she smiled at him. It was the first time she'd looked at him since he woke up. Her clear blue eyes were as bright and beautiful as the first time he'd looked into them and lost himself.
"Move over, darlin' – time for that ménage trios you always wanted," Logan ordered.
Quick to obey Ororo scooted as close as she could to Victor who found himself being pushed against the wall. What was going on? But he soon saw. His bed was larger than it should be – a California king he thought, having always wanted one but never having the space for it. While he was pushed up against the wall and Ororo laid beside him Logan had almost the entire bed to spread his smaller body on and Victor was helpless to do anything but watch as Logan sprawled out on the other side of Ororo.
If that wasn't enough to bear he suddenly realized he was naked, as naked as Ororo was now and Logan too. Ororo's apron was gone and Logan's clothes had disappeared as well – but how? He had to be dreaming. That had to be it. Only it was a nightmare. Any minute he'd wake up and find it was just a stupid dream.
Any minute.
Any minute now.
He waited feeling the worst he'd ever felt as Ororo, smiling that sweet calm smile of hers, pulled Logan to her. She moaned softly, that moan Victor knew so well when she was ready for him. Where her moans had always aroused him there was nothing now but anger and pain that ate away at him tearing him apart. It was Logan's kisses that were making her hot not his and – and they were going to do it right there in front of him!
-xox-
An explosive boom literally shook the house. Thunder – rumbling and groaning so ominously that it filled Ororo with dread, the deep rolling concussive sound seemingly endless. And then a bright flash of lightning lit the skylight above in the foyer of the townhouse. Fat drops of rain continued to splatter hard against the windowpanes as the winter storm began.
Soon another cavernous growl of thunder was heard, this time less potent but just as menacing, much like a premonition of some evil yet to come. The looming sound sent a shiver down Ororo's spine. She hugged herself as she looked up at the darkened skylight. For some reason the house felt empty and lifeless despite the presence of Anna and Remy beside her. They were watching her expecting answers. She had none. None for them or herself. She just wanted to be left alone, to curl up and hibernate, to forget.
"Sugah, you . . ."
"I don't want to talk about it," Ororo said more sharply than she'd intended but she didn't stop to apologize. Instead she raced upstairs until she was safely shut away in her room the lightning and thunder continuing their warlike dance.
Once there Ororo sunk onto her large bed and curled up into a ball hugging her knees up to her chest. Another peal of thunder could be heard this time it sounded further away less of a threat but the rain continued, the weather like her disturbed and upset.
She truly had no idea of what to do. How could she go on with Victor? She couldn't. It was obvious. And Logan she could never be with him again. That had been a mistake albeit a delicious one. She couldn't simply discard the memory of his lovemaking – slow and sure and full of . . . full of love. It had shaken her. Everything about this night had shaken and confused her but it was Logan who had affected her the most.
It should have been Victor but it wasn't. She could see even now how Logan had looked at her, so concerned and fearless and loving. It was just her luck to have found a man who loved her regardless of anything and could make love like that was what sex was all about. No one had ever done that before. No one had ever touched her with that amount of love despite the lust or need they felt.
Why now? Why would she be allowed to experience that when she could never have it again? Because she couldn't. She couldn't do that to Victor even though he'd done worse to her. It was wrong. What she and Logan had done was wrong. It didn't matter how good it felt. All the feelings she had towards Logan had to be forgotten just as the feelings she still had for Victor. She would have to continue on with her life as if none of this had ever happened. She'd have to forget the wonderful sex, the caring and love she'd received from both of them in their own earnest way.
But the pain – how could she bear it, how to live with it? Oh maybe it might fade given time but how to deal with it until then? And how long would it take? She hurt so much she almost wished she could crawl into a hole and fade away. No one should have to suffer like this or feel the way she felt, as if she'd committed some cardinal sin when all she'd done was take a selfish pleasure. So much pleasure when she needed something to help her deal with Victor's traumatic revelation.
Victor. She was a fool. She knew it. She'd screwed up big time. Maybe just as bad as Victor had. She'd hurt herself and everyone else to boot. Spreading mayhem and . . . disease? Smart. Real smart. What to do? How to go on? She certainly couldn't face either of them after this. What a mess. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Idot! The stakes had been too high! Where was her common sense when she needed it? Instead she'd been thinking with her loins – and her heart. She couldn't help having feelings for Logan especially after Victor's stunt. She wanted to hate him, both of them but the only one she hated right now was herself. Stupid, stupid, stupid! She was worse than Victor, bringing down death on Logan wasn't anything like Victor had done to her because she knew – she knew she might be infected!
And there it was. The dark, scary beast that had ruined everything for her. Did she have it? Was she HIV positive? And if she was then had she infected Logan because they had used no protection in the throes of passion as the romance novels called it. And it had been like that. Distraught and lost as she had been when he'd kissed her all the intense feelings she'd felt for him had come bursting forth like a flood that couldn't be stemmed no matter how much she'd tried.
It had been the first time in ages that she'd really let herself succumb to her emotions. Not since she'd been young and foolishly in love had that happened. She'd soon learned to bottle her emotions up, to keep them from getting out of control. Men didn't take good care of your emotions if you wore your heart on your sleeve. That had been the attraction towards Victor, that he was what he was, no pretense – he wasn't going to want anything more than sex and a lot of it which was fine because after having her heart broken with Forge she'd learned that sex was good enough.
Sex was death. The wages of sin? Was Kurt right? Oh, her head hurt. Instead of lightning and thunder she thought she heard sirens. Perhaps she was losing her mind? She deserved to. Perhaps she had brought down death on Logan just as Victor with her. The thought wouldn't go away. The circle never ended. This was worse than a nightmare. Her head kept throbbing. The alcohol? A lingering effect from hitting her head? She felt ill.
It didn't matter. She ignored the pain, closed her eyes and tried to sleep. Only a dozen thoughts flashed through her mind and she tried to block them out. Unable to shut out her thoughts and the overwhelming dread she felt sleep refused to come. But one thought was prevalent – "I have to be tested!" And like a mantra the words kept repeating themselves in her mind.
To make matters worse her phone rang. And rang. She groaned. She couldn't imagine who would be calling her. Victor wouldn't. No doubt there. Logan? She didn't think so but you never knew. He'd been acting so strange and mean and . . . loving. The SOB!
Finally she sat up, exhausted, and determined. The phone had stopped ringing – no there it was again. She had to get out of there. She hoped Cecelia was on duty. She could talk to Cecelia, she was a doctor after all and a good friend plus she already knew or probably did. Certainly she had to have guessed but Ororo didn't know how doctor confidentiality worked and whether Hank had told her or not. Still, maybe Cecelia could test her right then and there and hopefully get the results back in a speedy manner. The only problem – she had no car.
The memory of just who had her car was almost unbearable. Logan had run off with Yukio. He'd kissed her friend right in front of her as if they had been lovers for some time now! It was as if the evening he'd just spent with her, making slow beautiful love meant nothing to him. Worse than that she felt as if he had intentionally rubbed her nose in it! That was the only answer she could come up, his actions had been so blatantly cruel, something she hadn't thought him capable of despite the disregard he'd shown for Jean.
Of course it was only logical that he and Yukio had become an item while she had been gone but as quickly as she thought that she discarded the idea. She'd known all along that he cared for her, he'd told her as much. She'd chosen to leave with Victor and that had hurt him so he had used Yukio to hurt her back. It was as simple as that.
Well, his plan was going to backfire because she was never going to see him again and Yukio would be leaving in a few days and then who would he have? Jean? She doubted he would go back to Jean although maybe Jean would be crazy enough to take him back. It was an implausible thought; he was finished with Jean that she was sure of. She smiled as she envisioned him all alone with no woman at all.
At least one good thing would come out of all this. He'd get exactly what he deserved. He'd be alone and lonely and he'd regret everything he'd done to her this night – everything. Somehow that didn't feel good enough. He might end up feeling sorry he'd ever got her into bed when she was so vulnerable had but where did that leave her?
As hard as she was trying not to cry or think the worse her eyes stung with tears. She'd been faithful to one man all these months! Faithful. Except for tonight. Everything was ruined. All these months wasted! She'd been a fool.
Why couldn't she pick the right guy? Why was it so freaking hard? She'd only been with three men in all her life and they'd all screwed her over one way or another. Why? Did she have some target on her head that said "pick me I'm gullible?" She tried her best to be the perfect girlfriend not letting any of their quirks bother her. She hadn't slept around. She'd always been in a relationship. She'd been a good person, a decent person and she always tried to be nice to everyone, including Jean who couldn't stop calling her Aurora for whatever inane reason. So why did she have to suffer like this? She'd been so happy and now . . . now everything had fallen apart. Was this what Kurt had meant?
Zee wages of sin are deaf – death. She corrected her thoughts which had morbidly taken on Kurt's German accent. She felt as if she were losing her mind and wished she could shut down her brain. Just for the night. A useless thought she knew. But the thought lingered as she listened to the storm outside.
She groaned as the phone rang again. Part of her wished it was Victor or even Logan but another part of her was appalled that she wanted either of them to call and another part was scared, no – make that terrified. She'd screwed up bad. Horribly. How she could get herself out of this mess she had no idea. And yet, she still couldn't deny she yearned for one of them to call, to acknowledge her, to declare their undying love for her and beg for forgiveness.
What her answer to something like that would be she didn't have the slightest idea but still she wanted and even needed that. It was a need she couldn't help. Possibly a need all women felt, longing to have a man chase after them, to not let them go because they loved them so deeply they couldn't live without them, loved them so much that they would refuse to let them go no matter how bad things were. T'Challa and Forge hadn't been like that. They'd never made the extra effort to keep her and so she hadn't either.
It was crazy, feeling like she did. She knew neither of them would call her any more than she'd be calling them and yet that need inside her refused to die. She still hoped though why she couldn't say and so she dug in her purse, retrieved her cell phone.
"Ororo, here," she said as blithely as if she had not a care in the world.
"Ororo, girl, I've been trying to reach you for the last thirty minutes! Victor's been in an accident, he's here at the hospital."
A gasp escaped her lips as the phone fell from her hand.
"An accident?"
"I'm sorry, I . . ."
"No. No, I'm coming. I'll be there as soon as I can."
With one phone call everything had changed. Just like that. Was that how life was always going to be? One night, one thoughtless sexual escapade, one phone call and everything changed? But she didn't have time to dwell on her love life Victor was in trouble and she had to go to him.
Everything had changed – again.
-xox-
"Dude, I won the lottery with her, she don't know it but she's worth all this trouble. I ain't had no woman like her before," Victor mumbled.
Logan stood there looking down at Victor. He was speechless. Victor looked around confused as he lay on the hospital bed. He saw the machine he was hooked up to, saw a man in a white coat talking to what he thought was a nurse and then he glanced back at Logan. He could have sworn he'd just been in bed with Logan and Ororo! He must've been dreaming.
"Where's Ro?" he asked without looking at Logan.
"Home I guess."
As he took that information in he considered whether or not to ask Logan what he needed to know and then decided against it. He figured Logan would be overjoyed to tell Ororo everything if he hadn't already. Maybe he'd be able to kill the runt later – if he felt like it. What did it matter now if Ororo knew what he'd done or tried to do?
"So. You an' – you an' Ro huh?" Victor said, this time looking straight at Logan.
Logan shook his head. "Nah, man it's not . . . it's not – it's . . ." he stopped. He didn't know what to say. He'd probably made sure there was nothing between him and Ororo by the way he'd acted with her best friend but after this – now what?
Of course Victor didn't know anything about what Logan had done with Yukio. He couldn't tell whether Logan was lying or not and right then he didn't want to know. The only thing he did want was what he was sure he'd ruined forever. He'd screwed up royally. He'd demolished his car worse than any wreck he'd seen in NASCAR, just like his body by the way he felt, just like his love life, just like his friendship and why not toss the fact that he no longer had a job since he'd just tried to kill his boss which meant he'd lose his apartment, couldn't pay for the medicine he needed so he wouldn't die from AIDS which meant he would die. Yup, screwed up big time. Maybe the only good thing out of all this was that he wouldn't have to worry about car payments now but still!
He closed his eyes. That damn song was in his head again – the same song that he'd heard earlier. He tried to sit up but felt as if his body were paralyzed. Not only that he felt like he was doped up. Wouldn't that be a bitch? Paralyzed on top of everything else?
What kind of drugs were they giving him? That song just wouldn't quit! The same song that had been playing right before he'd tried to kill Logan. The same song had been playing in his head when he'd crashed into the pole at the last minute and now the lyrics were mocking him because he had nothing left – no woman, no car, no friend, no job, no life.
He'd been waiting all this time for a girl like her and he hadn't even known it. Waiting.
Mocking him. If he hadn't been such a pansy and had just done what he'd started out to do and not spared Ro's crazy little friend he wouldn't be in this mess. Now it was too late – too late for anything. He closed his eyes willing Logan to go away but as he did so he soon fell into a deep stupor.
A/N – Hoped the lack of song lyrics didn't make this feel too disjointed. Thanks for reading! And if there're any mistakes blame them on my beta! That and I really wanted to get this posted. :D