The return to the Circle was bittersweet. Bethany's heart fluttered with excitement over the forbidden encounter with Anders, but the contented reflections would have to wait. Though the Qunari had been defeated, it had come at a great cost. Most of the mages who had volunteered to help protect the city had been slain. That she had spared had been an incredible stroke of luck, and she mourned the loss of her friends.
She stood at Orsino's side while he addressed those who had stayed behind. Keeping her head down and her gaze trained on the floor, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt over having survived when so many had not. She hoped her colleagues wouldn't fault her for what she couldn't control, and she took a moment to be thankful that she had been successful in convincing Ella not to join her.
It was nearly dawn by the time Orsino concluded his remarks. Bethany had planned on returning to her quarters to ponder the previous day's events, both good and bad, following the meeting. When the First Enchanter asked her to accompany him to his office, she complied. They walked to the small room in silence, and once inside, she sat in the chair she had occupied so many times before and waited.
A lengthy silence elapsed. "Had I known what the outcome was going to be, I might have acted differently," Orsino finally said.
"You did what you thought was right. We were simply outnumbered."
"It's comforting to hear that you don't blame me. I'm not sure I feel the same way." He sighed and leaned back, assuming his standard pensive pose. "I want to believe some good can come of this. Our brethren who died for us will not be forgotten."
Bethany nodded. "I hope the citizens of the city will also remember that magic can be used for good, to benefit them."
"There's more to it than that. I have heard that Knight-Commander Meredith plans on declaring your brother the Champion of Kirkwall, despite the fact that he was not born here."
"Oh?"
Orsino looked her over with an expression she couldn't quite interpret. "It is not a very well-kept secret that Hawke associates himself with several apostates. I know it. Meredith knows it. I would think much of the city knows it by now."
She stiffened. "Should I be concerned for his safety? Or that of…my friends?"
"Meredith is in no position to condemn him for the company he keeps. He succeeded where she could not."
"I'm sure the city will learn of that, too."
"Precisely. At the moment, she has no choice but to accept the current situation. She's not going to be happy about it, but to decry anyone who helped rescue the city from devastating ruin will only lower the public opinion of her." A small smile appeared on his thin lips. "This can work in our favor. With Hawke working – perhaps inadvertently – to remove the stigma attached to mages, we can try to raise our status. Perhaps this will lead to the end of us being treated no better than slaves."
Bethany contemplated his hypothesis. "And what about us? What can we do?"
"We'll just keep doing our best to change things from the inside. We'll do all they ask of us to show we're not a threat." The smile grew wider. "It can only benefit us if the Champion of Kirkwall has a sister who has proven herself to be an exemplary mage."
Her jaw jutted out. "I would like to think that I'm worthy of my own merit, regardless of who I may be related to."
"Oh, of course! I didn't mean it like that." He gazed upon her with almost fatherly pride, an affection she hadn't seen or felt in many years. "You've always been a consistent bright spot in this Circle, Bethany. I knew from the day you passed your Harrowing that you would be successful here, and you haven't disappointed me yet."
She felt some remorse for snapping at him, but chalked it up to her exhaustion. "Thank you."
"You're still rather young, but I can see you becoming a senior enchanter before very long. I would be lucky you have you assisting me in my council."
"You're too kind," she said, the color in her cheeks deepening.
"Your devotion to the Circle and this city is inspiring. If our mages look towards your strength of character and display similar traits, then I don't think we will have anything to worry about." Orsino stood up and crossed the office to the door. "But enough of my ramblings. It has been a very long day, and we're both well overdue for some sleep. Let's catch up on our rest before returning to our regular routine."
Bethany bowed her head in a respectful farewell and exited the room. Ella was asleep by the time she arrived at her quarters, and she was sure her younger friend would be filled with questions as soon as they were both awake. She washed up and changed into her bedclothes, remembering her more salacious activities as her robe slipped off her shoulders. The smooth cotton sheets were warm and inviting, and she sighed as she was able to finally climb into bed.
Despite her weariness, sleep did not come to her right away. She considered her conversation with Orsino and how he regarded her brother. Perhaps he would prove correct in Garrett becoming instrumental in improving their situation. Bethany knew that aside from loving her and their father, he had never felt too strongly either way when it came to the politics of mages and Templars. The mere fact that he respected and collaborated with mages, both Circle mages and apostates, could be enough, now that he was the Champion of Kirkwall.
She smiled dreamily into the pillow. Although she hadn't realized it at the time, the days of fighting alongside her brother when they first entered Kirkwall were among her happier remembrances of her familial relationships. She could no longer be at his side, but this would be the closest they would come to working together once more. The Hawke siblings would share a common goal and strive to better their surroundings again at long last.
Progress was likely to be slow, and nothing was going to change overnight, she reminded herself. Her optimism was difficult to diminish, and she couldn't help but start to plan for the future. Anders's touch was still fresh on her skin. The passion in his kiss and the way he moved inside her were vivid in her mind, and she clung to the new memories they had just created. The world of which they had both dreamed for so long could possibly be within reach. She looked forward to keeping their promise of uniting their lives where no one could drag them apart. With a peaceful sigh, Bethany drifted off to sleep.