Disclaimer: Twilight is the property of the fantabulous Stephenie Meyer
Warning: This chapter contains scenes that some readers may find distressing.
Sorry this took a little longer than usual, but this week has been hectic.
I could hear my heartbeat, it's steady rhythm resembling that of any human at the moment, of course that was subject to change depending on which of my two selves I chose to indulge. Then there was the hummingbird wing of Renesmee's heart, fast yet steady like dance music. But I kept getting this weird echo, like something slightly out of synch, or as if it were the backbeat.
I frowned, trying to decipher this, it was as if…it was as if…
"Mom, why do you have two heart beats?" I asked as I suddenly figured it out.
Renesmee gave a start and looked at me before dropping her eyes. Then she looked back up with a deliberately confused smile on her face.
"Two heartbeats?" She asked.
"Yeah. Two heartbeats." I confirmed, and I frowned as I strained my hearing, no I wasn't going mad. It was there, another beat, although further down.
I gasped as it finally clicked.
"Oh my god! You're pregnant!" I exclaimed.
Renesmee gulped and looked away guiltily.
"Sorry." She whispered.
"Sorry?" I demanded. "What's there to be sorry about?"
Renesmee looked at me in shock, I don't know how she'd been expecting me to react, but it was obviously not like this. What? Did she think I'd be angry at her? God, what impression did I give people that made them afraid to tell me things? Did I come off that tempestuous?
"I'm gonna be a big sister." I elaborated. "Can you imagine? Me, Essie Black a big sister? I'm gonna be responsible for that little guy." I said as I placed my hand lightly against her stomach. "Nobody messes with my little brother." I said fiercely.
"So you're really ok with this?" Renesmee asked, and it was clear that she still had her doubts.
"Ok? I'm frigging ecstatic. This is the best news I've had for like ever. Why wouldn't I be happy? There's gonna be little baby." And my voice fell to cooing at the end.
"Oh god. Thanks Lamb, thank you. You don't know how much of a relief this is. I've been dreading telling you, I didn't want to burden you with more than you already have to suffer." Renesmee sobbed.
"Mom." I crooned, putting my arm around her shoulder and pulling her into an embrace. "Why would this be bad news?"
"Because of uncertainty." She whispered.
"Uncertainty!" I scoffed. "I've had it up to here with frigging uncertainty, from now on I'll just take things as they come and always be optimistic. I'm done with worrying about uncertainty." I shook my head and sighed derisively at the whole principle of uncertainty. "Besides, there's nothing bad about there being a baby. I'm gonna have a little brother."
"Now Essie, you don't know that. You might have a sister." Renesmee said quietly.
"No. I'm gonna have a brother." I said firmly. "It's about time we had a little boy in the family, it's only been us girls so far. Besides, if I say it often enough it might come true."
Renesmee gave a little chuckle.
"So when's he due?" I asked lightly, stressing the 'he', because if I referred to him as a boy enough then someone up there might grant my wish and give me a brother. Not that I wouldn't love him just the same if he did happen to be a girl, but a brother would be nice.
"Early May." She said promptly.
"At least it will be warmer by then." I conceded.
Renesmee nodded.
"How long have you known?" Was my next question.
"I've had my suspicions for a while, but it was confirmed last Wednesday."
"So that's why you went to Seattle, it was just a cover cause you wanted to find out for sure." I gasped as it all became obvious. "I thought it was kinda weird you'd both just take off and leave me unsupervised like that because of 'something to do with admin' I can't believe I didn't figure it out."
"I suppose it was a rather lame excuse." Renesmee conceded with a shame filled smile.
I leant my head against the back of the chair while I considered this piece of news from every angle. It was all good; I couldn't see anything bad in this future. I was gonna be a big sister. I would be his protector, cause nobody messed with my little brother. They thought I could get angry now, just wait till I had that little life to protect. They hadn't seen that side of me.
Then another thought occurred to me. It was something to do with Renesmee, something to do with her and hospitals. However I lost the trail of my thought when Jake came in the door. That train of thought was totally derailed and I couldn't help but shrug it off, if it's that important it'll come to me later.
"So I guess congratulations is in order." I said cheerfully as he leant down to give Renesmee a kiss.
He stopped mid-action, his lips still puckered, hovering near her cheek as his eyes swivelled to me. He looked shifty all of a sudden, and did he blush a little?
I continued to grin at him as he straitened up frowning slightly.
"I thought we were gonna tell her together." He remarked.
"She guessed." Renesmee replied simply.
"It wasn't hard with my new super-duper senses." I said brightly.
"So, you what? Smelt the baby or something?" He asked as he sat next to Renesmee on the two-seat sofa.
"No. I can hear his heart." I said serenely.
"His?" Jake asked and quirked an eyebrow.
"Yep. I'm gonna have a baby brother." I said confidently.
"You pick up Alice's powers as well now?" He asked with a laugh.
"Course I did." I declared with an unashamed grin, even though I was lying.
I mean what am I, a sponge? God, I'd hate to suck up other people's powers, it was hard enough dealing with the three I have. I just really, really want a brother, and if saying it made it come true then I'd remain adamant.
"No shouting or bawling then? No declarations of how we ruined your life?" Jake teased.
"Not unless you want me to." I replied with a grin.
"No. I'm glad you're happy." Jake assured me.
"Good." I said, then something else popped into my mind. "What did the elders say?"
"We're meeting this evening." Jake informed me. "So we should know by tomorrow."
"So I'm banned for at least another day?" I exclaimed, I felt distraught by this news; I wanted to go home.
"Maybe a little longer." He confessed in apologetic tones.
"How long?" I demanded, feeling my anger rise and the heat leap to my chest, I tried to pull it back down, but it was hard not to give in.
"I don't know." He replied in a low voice. "If it was up to me I'd let you down there right now, I know you're not dangerous. Hell, you've got more control than most of them have now. Since you woke up and fed you don't seem to be after our blood, so we don't have to worry about your vampire half either. But they want to be sure. They want time to be able to judge. They're asking for a month, I'm hoping I can get them down to a week."
"A month! I'm supposed to stay up here for a month? How the hell am I gonna cope?" I demanded.
"I'll come and stay up here with you." Renesmee assured me as she placed her hand on top of mine.
"What about Masen? He can't go stay on the Res, is he supposed to go live with the Hannigans? There's not enough room here and I want to go home." I babbled.
"Firstly, why would Masen be staying? He is only here because you were ill; he'll be leaving again shortly. Secondly, Masen is a vampire and has no need for sleep therefore he has no use of a bedroom." Renesmee pointed out.
"Masen's coming to school with me." I countered. "Didn't Auntie A tell you?"
"Does Masen know?" Renesmee asked doubtfully.
I shrugged, because I had no idea, Alice could have told him when I was sleeping.
"Does Masen know what?" Masen asked as he entered the cottage.
"That you're coming to school with me." I said brightly.
"Am I?" He asked with a frown as he sat down.
"Sure are. You can back me up and make sure I don't go overboard. Things will be brilliant with my cool uncle Masen at my side." I replied with a grin.
"I hate to tell you this kid, but I wasn't exactly Mr Cool and Popular when I was in school. In fact I was a pariah, a social outcast, known as Loser Boy, it's not an experience I wish to repeat." He said despondently.
"But it'll be different this time." I said.
"How?" He retorted.
"Well there's your history for a start. You haven't got a history with this lot, so you can just invent one. Plus you have a readymade friend in me, and Will, I'm his tutor. And of course there's the Hannigans, they're friendly too. The other kids won't matter, not that you'd have any problem with them. You're drop dead gorgeous so Olivia will be after you, if you can keep her happy the rest of the student body will accept you." I said cheerfully.
"I don't know…" He said, downcast.
I was starting to get annoyed by him.
"So are you gonna live in Amber's shadow for the rest of your existence?" I demanded as the name and image suddenly appeared in my mind. "Well Amber's dead, Holly killed her because she still had power over you. Even though you were a vampire and had a beautiful wife and a successful life and 'eating' at the restaurant where she worked you still felt belittled by her. You were everything she wanted and had everything she wanted, yet when you saw her you became that little boy again. That's what broke Holly. That's why she started feeding off humans again."
"Esther!" Renesmee gasped.
"It's only what I see." I said. "It's all in his mind right now. They had a good long chat after they went away from here and that's what she told him."
"Essie, enough." Jake warned.
"So Masen, are you gonna let that dead bitch ruin your life forever. Or are you gonna face your fears and come to school with me?" I demanded, folding my arms and jutting out my chin in defiance to my parents' wishes.
Masen glared at me, and I glared back, I met his eye, not caring if I read his mind this time. I'd already read too much and I didn't know how I did it. It was as if my mind had reached out for the information of its own accord. He was angry with me for bringing all this up, but then shame settled over him…and guilt. He blamed himself for Amber's death.
"You didn't kill her." I whispered. "That was all Holly. She wasn't built for our lifestyle and it was only a matter of time before she found any excuse to slip up and return to her old ways. Amber just happened to be her excuse."
He closed his eyes and dropped his head, his hair falling over his face.
"I'm sorry I said those things." I said quietly.
"But they're true." He said sadly.
"I still shouldn't have said them." I replied as I placed my hand on his shoulder. "I knew they would hurt you but I just went ahead and said them anyway for my own selfish reasons." I gave a little laugh. "Essie the brat strikes again."
"You're not a brat." He assured me with a forced smile that turned into a real grin. "You're annoying, but you're not a brat."
"There's that annoying again." I said through my teeth.
"I'm only speaking the truth." He grinned.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head.
"So, are you gonna enrol?" I asked.
"No need to." Alice said lightly.
I looked up in shock to see that she was sharing the last remaining chair with Jasper. I hadn't heard them come in.
"There's not?" I asked.
"No. I did it the other day." She said slightly smug. "I knew that you'd talk Masen into it so I thought I'd get the ball rolling."
I grinned as Masen groaned and dropped his face into his hands.
"How efficient." He complained.
"That's me, efficiency personified." Alice said, unabashed, as she produced a cardboard folder and threw it to Masen. "You're name is Nathaniel Masen, you're sixteen, your birthday is February eleventh. You're Essie's uncle, the youngest of seven children whereas Nessie is the eldest. Your parents were just killed in a car crash, that's where Essie's been this last week because you lived in Chicago. You've come to live with Nessie cause none of your other relatives can take you in. I thought this might be a good explanation of why you're transferring two weeks into the new semester."
"Wow. You've even faked a record for kindergarten." Masen said in admiration as he flicked through the papers in the file. He closed the file and looked up. "I guess I'm going back to school then."
"This is gonna be great." I crowed, looking forward to Monday with much excitement.
"Wish we'd thought of this sooner." Jake remarked.
"I've never seen her so excited about going to school." Renesmee added.
I stuck my tongue out at them and everyone laughed. This made me a little angry, like they thought I was an amusing two-year-old or something.
"Well if you're all done with patronising Essie she's gonna go have a shower before her friends come up." I said haughtily and made to leave the room.
"You've made plans with them?" Renesmee asked.
"No. But you know them lot, they'll be up as soon as they can get off the Res. Of course it'll take that much longer since they're content with me being their chauffer forever." I shrugged and went into my room.
I chose some clothes, dark jeans and a short-sleeved T-shirt, before I went into the bathroom. I had a quick shower, washing my hair again cause it was dirty despite the fact I'd washed it only yesterday. Maybe it was running around as a wolf that got you dirty quicker. After all I had tumbled through a lot of mud when Jake had bowled me over.
I dressed quickly and towel dried my hair as I walked down the little corridor.
"Of course you've got enough control." Renesmee was saying. "Remember Volterra? You were a newborn, but you managed to resist from feeding on that girl. How many newborns could have managed that?"
"How many older vampires could manage that with the feeding frenzy going on around them?" Alice added.
I entered the living room to see Masen shrug.
"I just worry sometimes that I have too much." He said quietly.
"You worry you have too much control?" Jasper exclaimed. "I would give anything for half the control you have."
Alice, who was still perched on the arm of Jasper's chair, placed her arm around his shoulders and leant her head against his in a comforting gesture. He closed his eyes and took her hand in his.
"Not like that." Masen said, frustrated. "I worry that I have all this control, but as soon as I come to rely on it then it'll just all disappear."
"Then always be on your guard." I said simply as I began running a brush through my hair, "That's what I always do. Do you know how many times the wolf's nearly broken through but I never let her. It's the same with the vampire. Total vigilance."
"You should listen to Essie." Alice said solemnly. "She may be young, but she has a point. None of us can completely rely on our control. It's a constant case of managing and processing any situation. So total vigilance is in order because you never know when la tua cantante may walk by and your will is truly tested."
"So what you're saying is that I should always be on my guard and not trust my control." Masen summarised.
"Yes." Alice and I answered simultaneously.
"While at the same time I shouldn't worry about it." Masen added, pointing out the paradox.
"Exactly." Alice said with a smile. "Now we're on the same page."
"I'll try to bare that in mind." He said with only the merest hint of sarcasm.
"It's the way it has to be." Alice said simply.
"Just be glad you have control." Jasper murmured unhappily.
"Come on Uncle Jazz, when was the last time you tried to eat someone?" I asked without thinking.
The room fell into an awkward silence as feet were shuffled and Jasper looked at the floor. Then I remembered that we all knew the last time.
I gave a snort. "That was forty years ago. Half the people in this room wasn't even born then. I probably wouldn't even be here if that…incident hadn't occurred. Do you really think Dad would have been around to imprint on Mom if he hadn't grown so close to Bella in the time you were away?"
"But I lost control!" Jasper protested.
"But you didn't kill." I countered.
"Only because they all held me back. I was an animal that night…an animal." Jasper declared a little overdramatic.
"We're all animals Uncle J. All of us are a mass instincts and insight. The point is that we overcome those instincts, even if it means having to accept the help of our family. I bet you haven't been close to attacking anyone since, even if you wanted to." I said as I continued to brush my hair.
"Ever thought of becoming an agony aunt?" Alice asked with a grin.
"I think I've got enough talents on my card as it is." I said as I shook my hair back and placed my brush on the table. "I'm just speaking the truth."
"But it's a relevant truth." Alice replied.
I nodded, suddenly feeling awkward having waded in on such a heavy conversation.
"You know what? I think I'll go visit with Grandpa Charlie means I'm up Forks way anyways." I said quickly as the thought occurred to me.
"Of course." Renesmee said with a smile. "You haven't been there for a while."
"I'll see you all later." I declared as I rose to leave.
"Essie?" Renesmee called when I reached the door.
"Yes?" I asked, stopping at the door.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" She asked.
"No." I said with a frown.
Renesmee looked pointedly at my feet, I looked down to find that they were still bare.
"Oh yeah." I said with an embarrassed chuckle as I ghosted to my room.
"You may also want a coat. You may not feel it but it's cold out today and people will wonder." Renesmee called after me.
"Sure, sure." I called back as I got a pair of thin socks and my new black convers from the closet.
After I put them on I pulled out my new black leather coat. It came to rest just above my hips and had a very feminine cut. It was for looking good in and not for anything practical like protecting you if you took a spill from a speeding bike.
I pulled it on and regarded myself in the full-length mirror. For once I was dressed for my age, and not for running around the Res. There was no way anyone could mistake me for being twelve now. In fact I could probably get into a club without being carded.
I guess this is as old as I'd ever look, but damn I looked good, like a slightly edgy rock siren ready to take on the world. I pouted slightly and tried to give myself a smouldering look. Maybe I could be a model, I had the height for it and these clothes did sit well. And maybe I'm getting vain, I should stop looking in mirrors so much, I didn't want to fall in.
I shrugged at myself, then gave a little twirl as I turned from the mirror and left the room. I exchanged a quick goodbye as I passed through the living room and out the front door.
I decided I would run to Charlie's, any excuse, so I ghosted the edge of the river until I was clear of the Cullen House before jumping the river. I was away into the trees and headed in a beeline for Charlie's house. I was there within a matter of minuets.
Charlie's truck was parked outside, so I climbed the steps and knocked on the front door. It took a minuet, but I could hear the shuffling from inside as Charlie came to answer the door. He opened it and looked out grumpily.
He lifted his head until he met my face; I made sure he didn't meet my eye as his face broke into a grin.
"Essie." He greeted happily. "How are you?"
"I'm fine grandpa." I said as I hugged him. "How are you?"
"Fine." He replied. "Come on in." He said, ushering me into the warmth of his house.
I entered and removed my jacket as I made my way down the little bit of corridor and turned into the living room. Charlie was close behind me.
"You got tall." He observed.
"Six foot three." I said promptly.
"You sure are following in Jake's footsteps." He said lightly.
"You wouldn't believe." I snorted under my breath.
"What was that?" Charlie asked, and he touched my arm.
I almost collapsed under the deluge of his thoughts. It was nothing like as bad as when I looked into people's eyes because I didn't get drawn in. Instead I could feel all his thoughts scritching at me, not that I could make them out clearly, it seemed to be the under current of his thoughts while on the top floated the thoughts of the moment glowing brightly to get my attention.
…Just like Jake. I hope she doesn't…(I got a hazy flash of memory of Jake fursploding)…not like what he showed me. It's need to know, and I don't wanna know. Why does she suddenly look ill?…
"Are you ok?" He asked.
"Yeah." I said, shaking my head as I tried to clear it. "It's need to know." I added in a whisper.
"As in I don't need to." He remarked as he sat in his chair.
I nodded.
"So I guess you're quite a lot like Jake." He said.
"I'm a lot like Mom as well." I replied defensively as I sat on the sofa.
"Of course. So how is Nessie?" He asked, swiftly changing the subject.
"She's well, like always." I replied cautiously, not sure if I was allowed to mention the baby just yet. I think Nessie would probably like to tell people herself. "You know Mom. Never been ill a day in her life."
Charlie nodded his head and we fell silent for a moment.
"I hear you're at Forks High now." He said after a while.
"Sure am." I confirmed.
"How is it?" He asked.
"Ok." I conceded, after all a big part of my Forks experience I couldn't really relay to him without breaking the 'need to know' rule. So I sought for something I could tell him. "Most of the teachers are nice, and the kids are ok. I mean there's the odd few who are, well…you know, but you get that in every school."
"Yeah." Charlie agreed.
We fell into silence again, not that I minded silence with Charlie because it was usually peaceful silence.
"I'm being rude." He said suddenly. "Can I get you anything?"
"A water would be nice." I replied. "But I'll get it." I added as I leapt to my feet. "Can I get you anything while I'm out there?"
"I'm fine." He said, indicating the steaming coffee mug beside him.
"Ok." I said lightly, before I went into the kitchen and got a tumbler out of the cupboard, drawing water from the cold tap.
I went back into the living room and resumed my seat on the sofa. I spent the rest of the afternoon talking to Charlie about nothing much. It was just nice to have a little catch-up. At five I decided to leave since I knew that if my friends could cage a lift they'd be up soon. Especially since it was a Friday.
Friday already! God, to think it had already been a week? This time last week I'd been planning party time with my friends only for it to descend into a full-blown argument of monumental proportions.
I mused on this as I said my goodbyes to Charlie before heading back to the cottage. Of course I decided to take things a little slower while I thought over everything again, so I headed along the street and into the little children's play area at the end. It was nothing spectacular, just a jungle gym and a swing set, but at least it kept kids occupied when the rain wasn't as heavy as it was at the moment.
That's why he first caught my eye, sitting on one of the swings. His right arm was looped around the chain while a cigarette burned in his hand. His left arm draped limply over his leg while in his left hand was a brown paper bag that so obviously concealed a bottle of some sort. He was dressed in dark jeans and a leather jacket, very much like me in fact, only whereas I was more emo he was more nineteen-sixties rocker with the scuffed black pit-boots and the studs on his jacket.
His dress and the fact that he was drinking in a kids' play area made alarm bells ring in my head. But it was too late to do anything about it now but walk by as nonchalant as possible because he glanced up. I caught a glimpse of dark eyes before he dropped his head again. It was then that I took in his demeanour if you took away all the paraphernalia; he was sad, so sad, that's the vibe I was getting off him.
Then his scent registered and I recognised him.
What the hell did he think he was doing smoking and drinking? Was he nuts?
I went over to the swing set and grabbed the cigarette out of his hand as I sat on the swing next to him.
He looked up in annoyance.
"These things will kill you." I remarked, throwing it on the ground and stamping it out. "You'll thank me for it one day."
"Essie. W-what are you d-doing here?" Will asked.
"I was just taking a walk. Thinking." I said, which was true. "And you."
"W-walking. Thinking." He replied and managed a small smile.
That's when I caught sight of his left eye that was masked slightly by his dripping hair. It was puffy, swelling along the socket and he looked like he had the start of a shiner. There was also dried blood around one of his nostrils and the top of his white T-shirt was spotted with red.
"Have you been in a fight?" I asked, and without thinking I reached my hand out to stroke his cheek gently in what I hoped was a comforting manner.
"No. J-just me b-being my normal c-clumsy self." He said with a laugh.
I just about heard that over the rage and torment in his mind. I caught something about his arms. Something about how they couldn't be explained away so easily. I frowned deeply as I moved my hand from his face, and not caring if I intruded into his mind I took his hand and rolled up his sleeve quickly before he could stop me.
I gasped and my stomach contracted painfully as I took in the marks on his arm. They were haphazard, some older than others. The newest three were still fresh, the skin so clearly seared away. I found it hard to find my voice as I forced the urge to throw up. How could somebody do this to another human being? To take a hot cigarette and hold it against their skin, because connected to his mind as I was now I knew that Will hadn't done this to himself.
"Who?" I managed.
Will didn't say anything; he didn't need to for I got the flash from his mind.
"Your father did this?" I asked in disbelief as I looked up into shocked black eyes.
Damn the rules, of others and my own. I wanted to know who was responsible so I could help my friend, and I didn't care what assumptions he would draw from it.
…It had been going on since as far back as he could remember. His father had been a logger who had fallen on hard times, especially since the World Summit had come to an agreement over new felling legislation. Unable to find much work he'd turned to drinking, which considering he was a man already quick with his fists only made things worse. It hadn't been so bad for Will at first, unless you counted the mental trauma caused by seeing his father beat his mother black and blue. When Will got a little older his mother had stood in to protect him until…
Until the day he came home from school and she was gone. Just up and left him in that hell hole with that monster, that's when things got worse. Will got blamed for everything bad in his father's life. Will became his punch bag, both verbal and physical. Will had come home this afternoon and his father, for want of a better word, was already three parts gone, he'd been wallowing again. Will knew it would be a mistake, but it would be worse if he left it until tomorrow, or god forbid Sunday, so he'd asked his father for a new pair of sneakers for gym. His were falling apart and Coach had actually demanded that he get a new pair or he'd have to sit out until he did. Gym was the lesson Will most excelled at and he didn't want to be left out because of shoddy footwear.
Will, never good with words at the best of time began tripping over his words in his hurry to get it over with and his father had started to make fun of him. Stuttering over the start of every word Will attempted. Then he started with his tirade of 'no wonder she left with a son like you, who wouldn't be ashamed' Will had been angry at these words, he knew they weren't true, although sometimes, late at night he wondered if maybe they were. So he'd made a retort, and he immediately kicked himself mentally as his father's fist smashed into his face, again and again hissing words of betrayal. Will was half conscious, looking blurrily up from the floor as he saw his father puff on the cigarette until the red glowed in the gloom…
I tore my eyes from his and covered them with my hands, not wanting to see anymore. It was enough to fuel my nightmares forever. It was proof that there was more than one kind of monster in this world. How could someone do that to another person, especially their own son?
"Essie, a-are y-you ok?" He asked placing a hand on my shoulder.
"Oh god Will. I had no idea. So awful…so awful…" I sobbed.
"W-w-what are y-y-you t-talking about?" He asked in a cautious voice as his hand left my shoulder.
"Have you spoken to anyone? Social services?" I asked.
"And e-end up in a home?" He demanded.
"That's worse than what you've got now?" I demanded back, amazed at this remark.
"H-have you h-heard w-what g-goes on them places?" He asked.
"Then come live with me down on the Res. I'm sure we can find you somewhere to live." I said desperate for him not to return there.
"B-but what if she c-comes b-back and I'm n-not there. How w-w-will she know w-w-where to f-find me?" He said quietly.
"When did your Mom leave?" I asked quietly.
"T-two years ago." He answered.
"Don't you think that if she was coming back she'd have done it by now?" I pointed out.
"She wants to make sure we have a settled life." He said promptly and so clearly that it made me wonder how many times he'd told himself this lie.
I remained quiet because I knew he wouldn't like what I had to say about that. From what I knew it was often hard to talk people out of situations like this. There was no helping them unless they wanted to help themselves. I was no psychiatrist and I would probably do more harm than good if I tried to help, but I had to do something.
I guess be his friend was a start. Give him somewhere to go other than that hellhole so he wasn't under the monster's feet so often. Take him to meet the gang, Will was part of my pack now and I just had to do something.
"S-so how c-come you're not at the party?" He asked suddenly, as he took a swig of whatever it was he was drinking.
"Huh?" I asked, completely at a loss.
"The Mega Bitch's grand soirée." He said with a snort. "The o-one everyone else is g-going to."
"That's tonight?" I exclaimed. "Geez, I completely forgot."
"Y-you snubbed Olivia?" He asked almost impressed.
"Not intentionally. I mean my grandparents just died, so I have had a lot on my mind." I said quickly, remembering the back-story for Masen. "I think that's a little more important than some stupid party."
"She w-won't s-see it like that." He remarked.
"I don't care. She's a bitch weather I go to her party or not. I'm not gonna placate her for an easy ride. She doesn't scare me, I know of far worse people, believe me." I said, thinking of the Volturi.
"L-like who?" He asked, and I realised we were teetering on the edge of the subject of his father once more.
"Well the mafia for one thing." I said with a chuckle as a vision of Aro, danced through my head in a pinstripe suite as people came to ask him favours a la 'the Godfather'.
Will snickered before taking another swig of his drink.
"What is that anyway?" I asked, eyeing it with mild disgust.
"Vod-ka." He said in a deep gruff voice. "You want some?"
I shook my head. "No thank you. I get hyped enough on Soda, I'd hate to see what alcohol does to me."
"Please yourself." He said with a shrug.
"Why do you drink?" I asked timidly, not wanting to darken the conversation again.
"To f-forget. And it r-relaxes me." He said simply.
"Can't you find a more healthy way to relax?" I asked tentively, placing my hand on the sleeve of his jacket.
"Are you c-coming on to me?" He asked suddenly.
"No." I snapped, moving my hand away quickly. "I mean, your nice an' all, but you're not my type."
"Do I n-need to be a lot paler, a b-bit shorter and have n-neat curling hair?" He asked, swirling his bottle and grinning at the floor.
"Huh?" He'd completely lost me.
"Is it the g-gold eyes that d-does it for you?"
"Gold eyes?" Then it clicked. "You're talking about Tobias. No he's not my type either."
"So you like s-something a l-little c-closer to home. R-really tall, lots of muscles and russet skin." He inquired.
"What?" I was sure he'd never seen Harry, but then again there was a good few Quileute boys who fit that description.
"S-something like him?" He asked, pointing toward the far end of the playground.
I looked up to see Harry coming through the rain in nothing more than his cut-offs. The rain was steaming off him, or otherwise trickling over his sculpted chest and I felt a pull in my stomach as my mouth fell open. My heart took off racing and I felt my face flush.
"Yep. Definitely your type." Will said with a smirk as he took another swig of his bottle.
"Hey Harry." I called in greeting as he neared us.
"Essie. Renesmee said that…"
Don't mention Charlie. I sent to him quickly as I realised what he was about to say.
"…you'd headed off this way. I came to find you. The girls are waiting up at the cottage. We managed to get a lift." He changed mid-sentence seamlessly.
"I guess I'd better come with." I said, rising from the swing. "Oh yeah. Harry this is Will. Will, this is Harry." As they exchanged the teenage boy grunt of greeting something occurred to me and I burst out laughing.
"What's wrong?" Harry asked.
"Oh my god. The King of England, his name's William right, or Will as they sometimes call him. Isn't his brother called Harry? Will and Harry?" And I laughed as Will looked at me nonplussed while Harry rolled his eyes, used to this type of thing from me.
"You get used to these little humour-fests of hers." Harry murmured in a low voice.
"I b-believe you." Will replied with a nod of his head.
I shook my head and sobered a little.
"Oh dear!" I sighed.
"Are you finished?" Harry asked.
I nodded my head, not quite able to shift my smirk.
"I g-guess I'll s-see you in s-school on Monday." Will said quietly.
Did you run here? I asked Harry as I reached out to touch his mind.
Do you think I'd be dressed so conspicuously if I hadn't?
I hate to leave him here. I said sadly.
You can't bring him back to the cottage, not with all the blo…all your family there. Harry pointed out.
You're right. I thought sadly, really feeling a total bitch for doing this.
"I'm gonna have to go now." I said quietly. "Family and all. So yeah, I'll see you Monday. Keep me a seat in Trig."
"You s-say that like s-someone would actually s-sit by me." Will joked.
"You never know." I said. "A lot can happen in three days."
"I should be so lucky." He remarked.
"Just be careful." I said, touching his sleeve once more. "And do you have a cell phone."
He shook his head.
"Pen and paper?" I asked, patting my pockets and coming up blank.
Will shook his head once more.
"Harry?" I prompted.
"They're in my other jacket." He quipped.
"I've g-got this pencil." Will said suddenly, pulling it from an inside pocket.
"That'll do." I said, taking it off him.
I grabbed his bottle and tilted it slightly while he still held on to it tightly. I wrote my number down quickly.
"If you need to talk to someone, no matter what time it is, just give me a bell." I said, handing the pencil back to him. "Do you promise?"
He nodded his head mutely.
"Ok. Well, if I don't see you before, I'll see you Monday." I said lightly.
"Bye Essie. Bye H-Harry." Will said, with a lazy wave of his hand.
"Bye." Both Harry and I called, before we went back the way he came, insuring we were out of sight of the play area before we cut into the forest.
We began jogging, but it was just too slow. I wanted to feel the thrill of speed again, with the earth beneath my feet and the sky rushing quickly overhead. But Alice had been right; Quileutes were fast on two legs, but not vampire fast.
"Can you phase already!" I exclaimed.
"What?" Harry asked, shaken from whatever distraction had taken his mind.
"I wanna ghost, but you can't on two legs. So down on four and we can race." I said as lightly as I could manage, although it came out as demanding.
"Are you gonna phase as well?" He asked.
"And do what with my clothes exactly?" I demanded.
"What did you do with them last night?"
"I put them in a bag and buried them to retrieve later." I confessed.
"Isn't that kinda awkward, what happens if you need to be human in an emergency?" He asked the question I was dreading.
"I have a plan for that. But I haven't had chance to put it into action yet." I said simply.
"Why don't you just tie it to your leg like the rest of us?"
"Cause you only have to worry about one piece of clothing." I pointed out. "Now go change. I wanna run." I begged.
He looked at me uncertainly.
"I promise I won't peek." I said with a wicked grin.
Harry shook his head and began to slow.
"Ok." He said. "Just give me a minuet." And he disappeared behind some bushes.
I stopped and turned my back to the bushes and waited.
He emerged moments later in his wolf form. I gazed at him in wonder, for it was the first time I'd seen him as wolf in colour. The last time he'd been in black and white but made up by a complicated array of scents that marked him as Harry.
"You're sandy coloured." I observed. "Just like Seth, only you're dark at the tips, kind of a transition."
He was watching me quietly, and then I realised I hadn't connected with his mind.
I closed my eyes and allowed a tendril of my mind to reach out to him. I touched his mind lightly until I could hear his surface thoughts and nothing more. This was only for communication after all.
So, do I get to see you in colour at some point? He asked.
"Maybe later when I'm not wearing so many clothes." I promised.
So you're gonna strip for me. He said, and sniggered, which was a weird sound coming from the throat of a wolf.
I gave him a look as he continued with his sniggering.
I thought you wanted to run Fang Girl. He thought before breaking into a run.
I broke into a run and caught up with him easy.
"Of course I do. Come on I'll race you. Four legs against two. I wonder who'll win?" I teased.
I'm gonna beat you this time. He said and I allowed him to pull ahead.
Although I kept a good gauge of his speed because I didn't want him to actually beat me, which might be a possibility if I became too lax, so I allowed him a lead I knew I could close within a second. We ghosted to the cottage, veering around the big house so as not to bump into any Hannigans. I used the jump across the river to propel myself further than Harry. I landed a metre in front of him and I heard his protest in my head as I sped on to the cottage. I tapped the door and turned around to see that he still had a hundred metres to clear.
"You need to be faster than that wolf boy." I said cheerfully as he stopped before me, panting. "I think you'd best go change now. I don't think Grandma Esme would appreciate you wrecking her unique design."
Ha. Ha. Ha. Harry thought scathingly. I'll be right back.
He went off to find some bushes while I entered the cottage.
I was surprised to find Sammie talking pleasantly to Alice, but then again Sammie had always been the most lenient of my friends. Susie on the other hand was sat on one of the wooden chairs, ramrod strait and glaring suspiciously at the vampires, she didn't trust them even if they were Cullens. Renesmee was in the kitchen cooking, while Jake was sat near Jasper and Masen, looking like he was part of the conversation but I could tell he wasn't with them mentally.
"Hey." I called to the room in general as I made my way to sit next to Susie.
"Essie!" Jake gasped, as if he was surfacing for air. "Thank god you're here. I wanted to see you before I went to the meeting." He said as he rose to his feet, but not all the way because of the low ceiling. He ended up in an awkward crouch, like an adult in a Wendy house. "I'm going now, I hope I get the votes on my side. I'll let you know in the morning; tonight I'm on patrol. We won't need you out there tonight, so get your rest."
"Ok." I said, keeping my reply to a minimum as I resisted speaking my mind for once.
I guess they don't want me on the Res in any form until they know for sure that I'm safe. God, what was with all the precaution? I wasn't dangerous, everyone knew that. When I was conscious, I had full control over myself.
I composed my face into a smile before I said as lightly as possible. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Ok." He said, his face sad and worried as he went over to Renesmee.
He gave her a peck on the cheek before leaving the cottage. That was when Harry entered and I felt angry at him for being here. It only took a second for me to realise why.
"So you want me banned for life?" I demanded.
"Esther!" Renesmee chastised as six pairs of eyes, half of them gold, swivelled to me in sudden interest.
"Huh?" Harry replied with a frown.
"Well it doesn't look like your going to the meeting so I can only assume that you don't want me down on the Res." I said folding my arms.
"The meeting? That's at midnight." He said, brushing it aside with a wave of his hand.
"No it's not. It's right now, that's where Ja…Dad's off to. Isn't that right Mom?" I asked Renesmee for backup.
"Yes. It's starting in five minuets. Jake was running late because he wanted to see Essie before he went." She said gently.
"But Timmy told me…" He trailed off. "I'm gonna have to put him down again." He growled.
"Yeah, well make sure you vote me back on the Res before you do that. In fact, we'll tag team him as soon as I'm back if you want. I don't care; we'll get him back for this, but please, please go back Jake up. I don't want to spend another day banned from the Res, never mind another month." I pleaded.
"I'm already there." He announced, and was pulling at his cut-offs as he left.
"Thanks." I called after him.
"It could be a moth before you're allowed back home?" Sammie gasped.
"Yeah." I answered, turning my attention to her. "Probation period."
"They don't trust you?" Susie asked in disbelief.
"Nope. They think I'm gonna vamp out on them and eat them." I said in a grudging voice.
"They really need to lighten up." Susie said with a snort.
"You're telling me." I said with a sigh.
"Do you want me to tell them you're no threat, that I can't see you hurting any of them?" Alice asked.
I gave a snort of a laugh.
"Somehow I don't think they'll listen to the words of a bloodsucker, even a Cullen." I said despondently.
"They always were overly cautious." Alice said bitterly. "And now they've had decades to perfect that caution." She sighed. "You have my deepest sympathies my girl."
"Thanks Auntie A, but I have faith. I'll be back on the Res tomorrow." I said brightly.
"Please don't get your hopes up." Renesmee said softly.
"I'm not, but if I say it often enough it might come true." I said with a grin.
Renesmee rolled her eyes at me as we both giggled.
"What's so funny?" Alice asked with a frown.
"It was merely a call back to a discussion Esther and I were having earlier." Renesmee said lightly.
Can I tell them? I asked Renesmee silently.
She smiled at me and nodded her head.
I smiled back and turned to the room.
"I'm gonna be a big sister." I said proudly.
"What?" The women in the room gasped.
Jasper raised his eyebrows, but Masen merely smiled knowingly, he probably read her mind.
"So that's why I've been seeing Essie running with a little boy." Alice gasped. "Now it makes sense. I'm so relieved, I thought there was something you weren't letting on to."
"Like what?" I asked.
"Well, that you were intimate with that handsome young friend of yours." Alice said, biting her lip, it wasn't that she was shy of talking about such things, she was just unsure of what would be considered appropriate in front of Renesmee since she was my mother.
"Harry's just my friend." I said, repeating my mantra, maybe if I said it enough times it would come true.
"Of course he is." Alice said with a smile that made me wonder what she saw in my future.
"He's just my friend." I repeated.
Alice continued to smile.
I turned from her to the Twins.
"So, what shall we do?" I asked them lightly.
"Eat your food." Renesmee answered, "I'm just about to serve up."
"Ok." I said, turning to the table as Susie did the same and Sammie came to join us.
After we ate our food, roast lamb with potatoes, carrots, peas, broccoli and lovely home made gravy, I washed the dishes, Susie wiped and Sammie put away. It was as I was doing that task that the thought occurred to me.
I waited until the twins and I were in my room before I said, "So Sammie, you wanna see me as a wolf?"
"Really?" She gasped.
"Yeah." I answered. "Give me a sec to go change into something a little less, then I'll go show you." I promised.
So I went into my closet, closing the door behind me, and changed into shorts and T-shirt, no underwear or shoes.
I exited and said, "Come on." As I passed through my bedroom.
We walked through the living room where I gave a brief explanation to Nessie of where we were going and then we were out of the cottage, entering the woods on this side of the river.
We walked for half an hour in silence until we reached a spot I thought was ok. I stopped and turned to the Twins.
"You wait here." I said. "I'll only be a sec."
They both agreed and so I found the perfect bush and removed my clothes, not worrying about burying them this time since I wouldn't be going far, and I called up the heat and changed.
In my wolf form I trotted out in front of the Twins and reached out for their minds so I could communicate with them.
"Oh my god Essie, you look like Lassie." Sammie remarked.
It's the colouring right, russet and white? I thought to both of them.
"But Lassie style." Susie agreed.
That's what Masen said. I thought to them.
"What about Harry?" Sammie asked.
He hasn't seen me in colour yet. I informed them.
"In colour?" Susie asked.
We're wolves, we're colour-blind. I told her.
"You can't see colour?" Sammie exclaimed.
No. But the sense of smell and hearing more than make up for it. I explained. It's something to look forward to.
"Can I?" Sammie asked, holding out her hand.
Well everyone else wants to. I said, as I stepped closer until my fur brushed her hand.
"Cool." She giggled. "Kind of soft and rough at the same time."
After half an hour I felt uncomfortable with the Twins fussing over me so I returned to my clothes and phased back. Once I got back to the Twins we returned to the cottage and we spent the rest of the night out in the little yard by the pool talking nonsense. It was around eleven when Renesmee said it was time for the Twins to go and she would drop them down.
"But I wanted to talk to you Mom." I protested. "In private."
"I'm sure it can wait until morning." She said lightly.
"No. I need to talk to you now." I insisted. "I'm sure Masen or Alice or Jasper could drop them down."
Sammie seemed excited by the prospect while Susie glared at me in betrayal.
"I'll go ask one of them." Renesmee assured me, before disappearing down the corridor.
"I don't want no leech to drive me home." Susie hissed when she thought it was safe.
"Then you're in luck. Because no leech won't drive you home." I said smugly.
"Now don't get all grammatical on me when you know exactly what I mean." Susie complained.
"I know what you mean but I don't see why you're so afraid. These are Cullens; they're not like other vamps. Unless you think I'm dangerous too." I finished in a hurt voice.
Susie growled at me, before making a sound of resignation.
"Fine." She snapped. "I'll do it this one time for you, but don't expect me to do it again."
"I'm fine with that." I conceded.
"Good." Susie retorted.
At this point Renesmee returned.
"Girls." She said. "Masen will drop you at the boarder where your Grandpa Mika will pick you up. It appears that everyone else is still at the meeting."
I lowered my head under the weight of this revelation; I'd almost forgotten the meeting that would decide my fate.
The Twins and I exchanged goodbyes and they left.
"So." Renesmee said ominously as she sat beside me on the bed. "What did you want to discuss?"
"Ok. Say you had this friend who you knew bad things were happening to, and you could stop it in a very final way if you wanted, only that would mean discovery, what would you do?" I asked.
"Well, first I think I should ask what are you talking about?" She said in a reasonable tone.
"I have this friend, well sort of, who's not what you might call conscious of his hygiene. Today I discovered why this might be, his dad beats him. I know I could totally wail on his father, but I think I might make things worse. I want to help him, but I don't know what to do."
"What's your friend's name?" Renesmee asked.
"Will." I replied.
"Do you know his full name?"
"William Ratchet." I mumbled.
"Old Bradford Ratchet's son?"
I nodded my head; I had pulled that name form Will's mind earlier.
Renesmee shuddered.
"He gives me the creeps." She said in a voice that sounded much younger than the one she usually used with me. "And nobody quite believed that Val ran away, at least not without taking the boy with her."
"So you know who I'm talking about?" I asked in shock.
Renesmee nodded.
"I'm surprised social services didn't step in years ago." She said.
"Perhaps nobody told them." I pointed out quietly.
"Perhaps." She agreed.
"I have to do something Mom." I pleaded, looking to her for help. "I want to kill that son of a bitch."
"Now Essie, we can't do that. We can't start dispensing justice in that way. We have to leave it to the authorities."
"Must we?" I asked, feeling the dire need to avenge Will myself.
"Yes. It is the only way, a brute like Brad Ratchet won't care about a broken nose, but being hauled before a court, now that'll likely get him to behave. Besides, Will can be placed into a safer environment." Renesmee pointed out.
I considered her words and I could think of no argument.
"So what's your plan?" I asked.
"I will come up early tomorrow morning and then we will go down to the Police station and talk with Chief Marks about this. Then we'll phone in Social Services, although I'm sure the Chief will do that for us. Does that sound good to you?" She asked, and again it was all reasonable.
I nodded my head feeling grim.
"Good. Then I'll be up first thing. Make sure you get your sleep." She said, and kissed me on my forehead. "Goodnight." She said, and smiled.
"Night Mom." I said despondently.
As soon as she left the room I went into the closet and changed into my pyjamas. I crawled under the bed covers in a hope of drifting to sleep. I knew my mind was at too much of an unrest to try playing cards or whatever tonight so I thought perhaps sleep was the best option. Something to make tomorrow come quicker.
So I lay in the darkness and welcomed sleep.
Thank you for reading.
Please review.
Gemma x
P.S. The Will/Harry thing was purely coincidental, I didn't even realise until I wrote the part where Essie introduced them to each other and it kind of clicked. I thought it was better if Essie remarked rather than I insert an a/n in the middle of the story.