ETWentHome, thank you for your review. I'm really happy you enjoyed the chapter - but there are a few more revelations to come...
Tanith Panic, I could imagine Cal trying to help by saying the words so Emma didn't have to - but of course that just makes it harder when he gets it wrong. Thank you for the review!
Cal held out his hand to her even though he knew she couldn't see it. "It wasn't your fault, Emma. You must have been so upset and you couldn't have known Izzy would grab the wheel. She could have grabbed Andrea's seat; her seat…"
Emma gave a sob. "I still shouldn't have shoved her. All my life, I tried not to be violent. I hate violence. It's wrong. It hurts. I promised myself I'd never be violent towards another person. But I did. And she died. They all died."
"That was an accident," said Cal. "It was tragic, but it wasn't your fault, Emma. You mustn't blame yourself. This hasn't changed anything. I still love you."
Emma was silent, but Cal could tell from the movement of her shoulders that she was crying.
"Why did you tell me Georgia had thrombocytopenia?" Cal asked as gently as he could.
"Because she had," said Emma.
"There was no record of it," said Cal. "No record that she'd ever had her platelet count checked or seen a haematologist."
"That's because she hasn't," said Emma. "She has no official diagnosis, but I noticed it took her a long time to stop bleeding. Longer than me. So I thought she must have it too." She sighed. "I told her to go to the doctor, but she wouldn't. She hated doctors. She hated hospitals." Her voice became hysterical. "She said that people died there!" Emma put her hands over her face. The movement seemed to throw her off balance slightly and she teetered on the edge, but incredibly, she kept her balance.
Or perhaps not incredibly. She was a dancer. Probably a very good one, no matter what Andrea and Izzy had said. Cal didn't know if it was instinct that saved her or the fact she didn't really want to die, but it gave him the tiniest scrap of hope.
Cal took a step closer. " It's all right. You just wanted to make sure Georgia got all the care and treatment she needed. You did well to spot it and to alert us to it. You did everything you could have done. Emma, please come away from the edge."
Emma didn't move.
"Okay, could you tell me about Andrea?" said Cal. If she wouldn't move, he needed to keep her talking. "You said she was allergic to ibuprofen."
"She is," said Emma.
Cal moved closer still. "Emma, Andrea was given ibuprofen in hospital a while ago. No allergic reactions were noted."
"She didn't have it in the hospital," said Emma. "She was fine in the hospital. But when she was discharged, she had a prescription for ibuprofen and it made her sick. So we thought she might be allergic to it."
Cal pressed his hands to his head, trying to think. He knew this was something he should be able to explain, but his girlfriend was standing on the edge of a building and he had trouble remembering anything at all. "It's unlikely to be an allergy, but ibuprofen tablets can be quite tough on the stomach. You can't take them on an empty stomach and some people can't take them at all. We would have administered the ibuprofen intravenously in the hospital so the effects wouldn't have showed until she started taking the tablets when she got home. You made a perfectly reasonable assumption and you acted in her best interests, Emma. And I'm proud of you."
Emma spoke in a low voice. "Did she die from the pain?"
"No. Andrea died from her injuries," said Cal. "She never regained consciousness so she didn't feel any pain, but if she had, she would have been given morphine. What you said didn't affect anything."
"But her injuries were my fault too," wept Emma.
Cal knew some might agree with her, but he didn't. "No, they weren't. They weren't anyone's fault. It was a tragic accident. Please come away from the edge, Emma. I love you and I want to hold you."
Emma didn't move.
"Come on, Emma," said Cal. "Take a step backwards. Go on. For me."
"I don't want to," said Emma.
Cal moved infinitesimally closer. "I know, baby, but I don't think you really want to go forwards either. You don't want to die. You just want all the pain to stop."
"But it won't," said Emma. "Even if nothing bad happens for the rest of my life, I can't be happy after what's happened."
"I can understand why you think that," said Cal. "In your place, I'd probably think the same. But why not give it a chance, Emma? You won't know what it's like unless you try. You're not on your own. You've got me."
Emma made a sound of helplessness. "But for how long, Cal?"
"Forever," said Cal.
"You can't guarantee forever," said Emma. "Most relationships don't last."
"But some do," said Cal.
"Yes, some do," said Emma in a tone of deep sadness. "Some people love so much and so strongly, they'll put up with anything. They'll put up with the pain. They'll even let someone else suffer for it. Anything rather than lose the person they love."
Cal took another step towards Emma. "But not all relationships are like that, Emma. The relationship you're describing, that's a dysfunctional relationship. They can last for a long time. But sometimes there comes a point where they can't put up with the other person any longer. Sometimes they have to break free."
Emma stood very still. Then, slowly, she turned to face him. She looked confused. "You said that like you know. But how can you know?"
Cal hesitated and held out his arms. "Come over here and I'll tell you."
Emma looked at him. Then she slowly took a step forward. Then another. All Cal wanted was to run towards her and take her in his arms, but he didn't want to startle her because he was afraid she might turn and run away from him.
And keep running.
"I love you," said Cal, still holding his arms out.
Emma moved so slowly, or so it seemed to Cal. Her movements were awkward as though she'd forgotten how to use her legs. Sometimes she stopped. Twice, she looked over her shoulder. It took all Cal's strength to stay where he was and just wait.
At last, she stood in front of him. Cal clasped her in his arms. "I love you, Emma."
She was trembling. "Tell me what you know."
Cal looked over at the skylight. "Ethan? Are you there?"
Ethan's voice sounded faint. "Yes, I'm here. Do you need me to come up?"
"Don't you even think about it!" said Cal.
"Is Emma okay?"
"I've got her," said Cal. "I'm going to tell her now. She might need you to answer some questions."
If Ethan made a response, it was drowned out by the sound of the ambulance.
Emma froze, then pulled free from Cal's grasp.
Cal moved instinctively. He launched towards her, pushed her to the ground and lay beside her.
"Let me go!" said Emma.
"I can't," said Cal very softly. "I'm sorry, Emma. But I can't. If you asked for almost anything else, I'd say yes. But I can't say yes to this, Emma. I can't let you go."
"You lied to me!" Emma was struggling. "You said you didn't call them!
"I didn't call them," said Cal.
Emma stopped struggling. "Really? Then how…" Her face changed. "It was Ethan, wasn't it?" She began to cry. "How could you, Cal? How could you trick me?"
"I didn't want to." Cal was fighting tears. "I just wanted you to be safe. I didn't want anything to happen to you."
"It's a bit late for that," said Emma.
"I know," said Cal. A tear escaped. "I'm sorry for everything that's happened to you. I know what your mum did to you and your dad."
Emma went completely still. "How could you know that? No-one knows that. No-one believes me."
"Your dad's reported her to the police," said Cal.
"That can't be true!" said Emma. "How can you know that anyway?"
Cal wanted to hold her properly. She didn't need to be restrained. She needed to be hugged. But he couldn't take the risk. "I'm so sorry, Emma. Your dad was admitted to hospital and Ethan treated him."
"Is he… is he…"
"He's alive," said Cal, but he knew as he said it that this might not be true. "He's not in a good way, but he's alive and he was able to make a report. He needs you, Emma. You need each other. Come back to the hospital now and I'm sure you'll be able to see him."
Emma looked at him fearfully. "Is this a trick?"
"Definitely not," said Cal. "Ethan and I would never play a trick like that and it wouldn't be allowed. Please come with me, Emma. I know it's scary, but I'll be there if you want me to be."
There was a long pause, then Emma nodded. "Okay, Cal. I'll go with you."
Cal helped her to her feet without letting go of her. He wasn't going to let go of her anytime soon. He could trust Emma with anything except her own life.
They walked towards the skylight. He felt Emma leaning against him, then she fell forwards. Cal caught her, holding her tightly in his arms.
Her eyes were closed.
"Emma, can you hear me?" said Cal desperately.
She might have fainted. She'd had a terrible shock; she was probably in pain; and it seemed likely that she'd been experiencing high levels of anxiety for some time. She could easily have fainted.
But Cal was afraid.
He picked Emma up in his arms and carried her to the skylight. "Ethan?"
"I'm here. Dixie and Iain are on their way up."
"Emma's… fainted." Cal's voice was shaking. "I'm going to lower her through the skylight. Can you take her from me?"
"Of course," said Ethan.
Cal opened the skylight as far as it would go and looked down. He could see Ethan, standing underneath the skylight with his face upturned. Cal knelt down, still holding Emma. "Be careful with her. Please."
"Of course I will," said Ethan.
Cal sat down on the edge of the skylight with Emma in his arms. Slowly, he turned her so her legs were hanging downwards.
"I've got her," said Ethan. "You can let go now."
Cal was afraid of letting go of her, but he knew he had to. He watched in agony as Ethan gently laid Emma down on her back and opened her airway and checked for her breathing and pulse. "She's breathing, Cal." Ethan straightened up.
"Can I come down now?" Cal asked in a trembling voice.
"I'll help you," said Ethan. "You'll hurt your ankle if you drop down. How long has Emma been unconscious?"
"Not long." Cal tried to think. "Not more than half a minute."
"Okay. Come on, Cal. I'll catch you."
Cal's ankle felt fine and he wasn't at all sure Ethan wouldn't drop him, but he didn't want to waste time arguing. He lowered himself through the skylight and felt Ethan wrapping his arms around his legs. As he'd expected, his weight was too much for the smaller man, but it did break his fall a little bit.
"Sorry," said Ethan. "Not much of a safety net, am I? Are you okay?"
Pain was shooting through Cal's ankle, but he didn't care. He pushed Ethan aside and threw himself down beside Emma just as Dixie and Iain reached the top of the stairs. They didn't bother to greet Cal and Ethan: they just knelt beside Emma and asked what had happened.
"She is breathing, but it's very shallow and her pulse is weak but regular," reported Ethan. "We haven't given her any treatment."
"I think she's taken an overdose," said Cal, trying to keep his voice calm. "She was attempting suicide by a different method when we found her and she does have access to medications."
"Right, we need to get her into the ambulance," said Dixie. "Then we'll measure her vital signs and you can give us any further details. Does she live around here? It would help if we knew what she might have taken."
"Aspirin," said Cal.
Ethan spoke quickly. "Cal means she's allergic to aspirin. We don't know that's what she's taken. I'll go down to the flat and see if I can find anything. She's taking benzodiazepine for depression: I'm not sure of the dosage. Cal is Emma's boyfriend so he might be able to tell you." He squeezed Cal's arm and spoke softly to him. "I won't be long. Try to keep calm. I know it's terrifying, but you can deal with this. I know you can."