Chapter 25

Even if you're not here
I'll reach you, I'll reach you
Even though you're away, I'm near
We'll forgive and forget
I'll reach you
~I'll Reach You; Delain

Throttle was wandering the city in a daze, debating whether he should head up to the surface or continue to wait down here - and then his mind was made up for him. The team sent up to retrieve the ambushed scouts suddenly came back, and then the whole lower level was in a whirlwind. Citizens dodged out of the way as military and medical personnel rushed the wounded straight to the hospital on stretcher-like contraptions. Throttle dodged out of the way too, his eyes searching the cluster of colorful bodies, both upright and prone, for any sign of a snowy figure. He didn't see her, but he did see...

"Modo!"

As he rushed forward, the medic pulling the stretcher that carried his close and clearly injured friend came to a stop; Throttle dropped to his knees beside it as he hovered over Modo. "Hey, bro," the big gray mouse greeted weakly. The tired smile he forced made the lines on his face grow deeper. There was a blanket over him, so Throttle wasn't sure just how badly he was hurt, but as he fumbled for his hand his instincts told him that his friend just had a very close call. Modo clutched his hand tightly in spite of everything; Throttle's sharp eyes caught sight of the side of his neck, just peeking out the blanket, and saw traces of scorching. A blaster wound.

"You okay, bro?"

Modo managed a quiet, scratchy chuckle. "I've been better."

"His suit tore and he was exposed to the atmosphere," the medic explained. She looked anxious to move on, but she also looked like she understood it was important for the two of them to reassure each other right now. "The burns he ended up getting look like they're only superficial, but we need to run some tests to make sure the toxins didn't get into his bloodstream."

Throttle nodded dazedly, giving his friend's hand a squeeze before letting go and standing. The medic rushed on, and Throttle stepped back to give the rest of them room. He saw Jayce run by at one point, but still no sign of his sister.

Before he knew it, his feet were carrying him to the hospital, rushing through the main door and into the lobby, which was clustered with anxious family members and the like. Throttle glanced at the girl working the front desk, but before he could decide whether to ask her first or just run in, a pink-skinned nurse passing through the room paused when she saw him.

"She's just down the hall," she told him with a smile before hurrying on.

She acted like she knew. And as he hurried out into the hallway and turned a corner, Throttle recalled how Jayce immediately knew what happened just by how his sister smelled. He also recalled those funny looks he had gotten when he first left the residential block. The door apparently swung both ways and now every Imeeran who got close enough to get a whiff of him automatically knew what the scent on him meant.

He didn't know which room was the right one, but he was saved from having to poke his head in each one; as he was hurrying past an open doorway, he caught a glimpse of a white figure bent over a bed in the room. She quickly straightened and turned around when he came in, and as she faced him, Throttle felt something trickle oddly through him.

It started at the tips of his antennas and quietly buzzed through his veins and into his heart. He felt surprise, fear, hope. It startled him, because he knew the emotions weren't his own.

Tamerin turned and bent over the bed again. "You'll be fine," she whispered.

Lying on the bed, skin pale beneath her fur and eyes glassy, was Ashlin. She flashed a weak smile; Tamerin kissed her forehead before straightening again. She then ushered Throttle into the next room and closed the door. Facing him now, her expression was carefully controlled, though there was a frostiness in her eyes. "I thought you left a long time ago."

"I almost did," he admitted quietly. "Then I realized the mistake I was making."

Slender white eyebrows lifted, though her expression didn't change. It worried him a little, but he understood why she had a mask on. He had hurt her - hurt her badly when she didn't deserve it, so he wasn't surprised that she wasn't being very open with him. He just hoped that that control was only on the surface.

"I panicked, and I shouldn't have," he faltered. "I shouldn't have reacted to you based on the way things are back home, not when they're obviously not like that here. And even then," he added as he took a step closer, "it shouldn't matter. You're obviously not what I accused you of being. It isn't fair for me to let myself be blinded by old memories and not see what's right in front of me."

There was another trickle of something - more hope - but it came and went so fast he could barely be sure it was there, like a bubble popping, or a dream vanishing. They weren't touching, so how were these feelings getting to him?

Because she's part of you, a voice inside him whispered. She'll always be part of you.

Stepping closer still, he gently rested his hands on her shoulders. Her eyes were guarded as they met his; he took a breath and plunged ahead. "You know how I feel about you, right? Here...let me show you."

She undoubtedly already knew from all the times she'd touched him before he told her to stop reading him. She knew what was in his mind, his heart. No...this was for his benefit. He knew it was cowardly, but he couldn't help it. He had no doubt she could block her mind from him better than even a mouse could, so he had to make her open up to him first, willingly accept his thoughts and emotions. Because only then could he feel hers fully, and as he touched his antennae to her forehead, they rushed into him.

What he felt took his breath away. He had figured out by now that Tamerin loved him, but what shocked him was how much she loved him. With a burning intensity, with a sense of wonder and awe. Like he was something amazing - something so amazing she was willing to take the risk he now knew she had taken.

"I care about you," he whispered, pressing their foreheads harder together as his hands tightened on her shoulders. "I care about you deeply, but I don't know if I can call it love. But I want to. I want to love you badly."

Tamerin blinked back tears. "I know. I knew that from the beginning, but...I wanted it to be enough. I wanted you so much that I..."

"Were willing to risk your own happiness for me," he finished quietly. "Because you wanted me to be happy."

Slowly, she nodded her head.

"Even though you knew there was a chance I wouldn't stay?"

She nodded again.

After slowly breaking the connection, Throttle eased his hands from her shoulders and put his arms around her. She didn't hold him in return. "Why didn't you tell me what it meant for you?" he asked in a whisper. "What I was taking away from you if I left?"

Tamerin swallowed thickly, though her eyes remained dry. "I don't want you to stay because of that," she said quietly. "I want you to stay with me because you want to. I told you, I'm not going to force you to do anything - not a single thing. If you don't love me and don't want me, you're free to go. I know my brother will throw a fit, but no one can stop you if I tell them not to."

Throttle shook his head and held her tighter; cautiously, as if she were afraid she was going to scare him away, she placed her arms around him. "But I don't want to go," he murmured. "Not anymore. I ran because I was afraid, but..."

But he wasn't anymore. Not when he knew now just what she was willing to risk and sacrifice for him. He didn't believe that anyone he'd ever known loved him that much. He'd be crazy to give that up. "I'm sorry I ran away," he said quietly. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

Tamerin smiled faintly as she tightened her arms around him. "And I'm sorry I scared you."

Smiling softly, Throttle reached down and gripped her hand, and they both knew he had lifted his ban of her reading his emotions. Just like they both knew that the thought of someone being this close to him again - of being in a position where he could be hurt again - really had scared him, to the point where he would have probably jumped at any excuse to bolt like he did.

"I'm not scared anymore. And I promise you, I'll never run away again."

"So, what do you think?" Vinnie asked as he dropped back on the sofa and hoisted Vector above his head. "Do we have the most awesome little family or what?"

Vector giggled and kicked his feet. "Ah-sum," he echoed.

Across the room, Charley laughed and fingered the chain hanging from her neck. Her eyes shone as she watched the two of them.

Marrying his Charley-girl had happened so quickly, he had actually felt a little disappointed there wasn't more to it. She picked him up after work one day and then drove to the courthouse, where they had signed a few papers, said a few words...done. It was all so informal he had felt the need to personalize it just a little.

Unfortunately, he didn't have much to offer at the moment. Just a small, glittery chunk of meteor fragment he had picked up someplace - he couldn't remember where - and had forgotten he'd hung on to it. Hoping it all didn't sound pathetically stupid and corny, he had given it to Charley when they got home and said, "I'm not sure, but I think this has been to the outer reaches of the solar system and back. And you know I'd go even farther for you, and farther still to make it back home to you."

Yeah, he was convinced that that was way too corny...but Charley had teared up and clung to him, sniffling. "I don't have anything to give you," she had whispered.

"What are you, nuts?" he had asked as he held her tightly. "You've already given me the best son any guy could ever want. And you gave me you. What else could I possibly need?"

She'd dragged him off to bed and started on their wedding night after that, and in the morning she had gone straight to the nearest jeweler and had the fragment fastened to a chain. Laughing now, she gave it an affectionate pat before turning and heading to the kitchen. "While you two kids play, I'm going to start on dinner," she said.

"Hey, did you hear that?" Vinnie asked, pretending to pout as he got up and placed Vector in his playpen. "Mommy just insulted Daddy's virility."

Charley laughed again and set a pot on the stove. "It's a compliment," she said wryly. "I fell in love with you as your immature, sarcastic, obnoxious self. And I don't ever want you to change. Got it?"

"Not likely, sweetheart," Vinnie said, as he casually vaulted over the counter. Slipping his arms around his new wife from behind, he rested his head on her shoulder. "Nothing and nobody can take me away from you now," he murmured, his mood suddenly turning serious.

Charley bit her lip and glanced down at the stove. "I know."

"I mean it. I'm yours now - forever. And ever. And-" he noisily kissed her cheek, "-ever. Got it?"

Charley laughed softly, though her eyes were turning moist. "Got it."