Half of a man
Chapter 26
Back to the start
The force of the Bifrost and its bright colours made Loki dizzy. It had been a long time since he had used it. Once he stepped on solid ground he fell on his knees trying to catch his breath and stop the world from spinning. Slowly the golden observatory filled his vision and he stood up to admire it. Memories flashed before his eyes.
Is it madness? Is it?
The former observatory had been destroyed… by him and his brother. This was an exact copy of the old one, but it would never be the same.
"Loki" he heard a deep voice calling him. He looked around and saw the familiar figure of the Guardian and his golden eyes that saw every corner of the universe.
Well, not every corner
Loki reminded himself.
"Good Heimdal, thank you for allowing me to enter the realm. I must speak to the King but no one must know I am here." He said walking lightly around until he found himself on the gate that led to the city of Asgard. It was exactly as in his dreams… exactly as he remembered it, with all its glory and the pitch black sky with all the galaxies pinned upon it.
"No one but the King will know you are here." The Guardian said. Loki turned to leave but stopped. He looked at the repaired rainbow bridge remembering the last time he had been upon it, or rather hanging from it.
I could have done it father.
He remembered all the rage and hatred that had blinded him; the power that had come upon his hands unexpectedly, the guilds, the satisfaction of being a King.
"Heimdal…" he said turning his head around to face the keeper. "… I apologize for attacking you and using the Casket against you. I was blinded by anger and greed, I am truly sorry." He said.
The Keeper looked at him and straightened his back.
"Welcome back, my prince." He said. Loki nodded at him acknowledging his recognition and faded into a golden light.
He appeared in his old chambers, right next to his desk. He couldn't risk being seeing by anyone, for all he knew he was a fugitive or still locked up in the dungeons suffering under the serpent's venom. He took Nancy's diary out of his back pocket and placed it on his desk.
Everything was exactly as he had left it. All of his books had been scattered around, his sketches… he bent down and opened a secret hold from under his desk were he kept his notebook with all his schemes. He had written every joke and mischief he had come with over the years; all of his experiences were in there, along with the recent plan of destroying Jotunheim. He read his crazy thoughts and conclusions shaking his head.
Nonsense
He put it aside and walked around. His mother must have preserved it like that, hoping that one day he would come back and everything would be as they used to be. But things had change. He could not go back. He had suffered a lot and he had lost himself in the process.
There was only one thing for which he was certain. He was going to destroy Thanos and any plan he might have and he would do that without him going anywhere near Midgard.
He had an epiphany, yes. He wouldn't say he remembered everything but the pieces missing were quite small and maybe insignificant at the moment.
He had seen a dream, a nice dream after a long time. It had been a memory; he had felt lost at first and so angry but then there had been a warm feeling surrounding him at the end. He had been happy.
So, what had gone wrong?
That had triggered his mind. In a blink of the eye the box had been opened and he knew exactly what was going to happen. He could hear Thanos telling him his plan; he could hear himself thinking the next step.
He knew exactly what he was going to do but first he needed to talk to the All – father.
His father
"Oh, my boy!" his mother's voice startled him. She must have used the secret passage that connected their rooms because the huge, wooden door would have been heard. She came directly at him and suffocated him in her arms.
"Oh, Loki, my boy, my son, my precious little boy." She kept saying caressing his hair and back.
"I am here mother, I am here." He said feeling a great burden leaving his shoulders.
Mother
Yes, this was his mother and she loved him and he loved her.
He felt so good being able to admit it and accepted it. It felt so good being in her arms, so right and safe like the small boy who's hiding in his mother's chest to hide himself form the big, bad world.
"Are you al right? Do you remember? Heimdal told me you came…"
"Mother…" he said taking a step back and grabbing her hands to free himself. He gave her a small, genuine smile and kissed her hands before letting them fall on her sides.
"… I am fine. I remembered something very important and I need to speak with … the All – father." He said catching her disappointment at his choice of words.
"Does it have to do with the attack?" she asked him and he nodded.
"Please, mother, I really need to speak to him immediately. I know it is a God forsaken hour but he must wake up just like you did. There is no time." He said letting his desperation affect his voice. Frigga nodded and caressed his cheek one last time before she left.
Loki walked to the big table situated behind the door and with a flick of his wrist he presented a bowl with fresh fruits, two cups and a bottle of wine. He never liked meadow. Waiting for the king to come he walked to his wardrobe thinking if he should change or not. He was still in his midgardian attire of black jeans and T- shirt. Finally, he closed the wardrobe deciding that letting the King see him for what he'd become over the past year might work better for his plan.
Sensing the mighty god approaching by the same passage as his mother had, Loki grabbed the diary from his desk and came to stand right next to the table.
Here we go
The family portrait disappeared, leaving a dark hole in its place filled with Odin's figure. Loki looked at him preparing for what would come. He hadn't seen his father since his trial. The image of him that haunted him while he had been in Midgard had been the one of him standing before the throne in all his glory and armor and mighty aura that surrounded him as he had stripped him from his Asgardian face.
The man before him, seizing him with his eyes was a lot different. He looked tired and troubled with his golden robes failing at hiding the paleness of his face.
It couldn't be time for the Odinsleep again could it?
He would not let another conversation in the middle because the old man was too weak to withstand it. No, they needed to talk and he needed him at his best for what he was about to do. They might as well never talk.
"Is the Odinsleep near? You look tired." Loki said crossing his arms before him in defense. He needed to be as cold and tough as Natasha would be in her interrogations.
Natasha…
"Are you worried about my health?" Odin asked him in the same distant tone he had used as he let himself enter the room.
Loki scoffed as he rounded the table and came to stand next the chair.
"There is a very important matter I need to discuss with you and I am not willing to start if you are going to pass out in the middle of it… again." Loki said in a neutral tone. That comment was meant to hurt but he was proud he didn't let his emotions show.
Odin was as good as his son at keeping a masked face. Loki had to grant him that.
"No, I am not waiting the Odinsleep to come yet; it is matters of the realm that keep me awake and tire me." The king said and grabbed the chair opposite to Loki so he could sit. "I see you have prepared for a long talk." He added.
Loki nodded and sat down, too.
"I am willing to let this talk last for as long as it takes but it needs to be done and it needs to be done now." He said pouring some wine in the glasses.
"I am listening." Odin said.
Loki looked at the older god trying to calm his nerves. He didn't know what to expect when he arrived at the Bifrost and he should admit to himself that the welcoming was better than he could have hoped. However, this old man, sitting before him after all he had done, after everything that had been done, acting as if nothing had happened was infuriating.
Then, Loki noticed his father's posture. His time as a homeless guy that struggled to survive in the hostile streets of New York kicked in.
Straight back, eyes seizing him, trying to read him, his chair a little bit too far from the table…
He hadn't come as a father to talk to his lost son; he had entered that room as a King willing to hear an insider, an informative.
So much the better
"I have found my memory again; I'm sure you were informed about my state in Midgard." Loki said and Odin nodded in agreement.
"I know what Thanos is going to do. I believe these are the matters keeping your majesty awake." He said smirking.
"Thor has informed us about the upcoming threat, yes, and we have been preparing for it." Odin replied.
"Thanos had, stupidly, informed me about what he was planning to do after he got the Tesseract. It is not a nice plan and I can assure you that his current movement has nothing to do with his hunting for me. If anything, I would be the cherry on his huge birthday cake." Loki said and paused trying to read the man. He didn't seem to betraying a single emotion to him; neither trust nor distrust.
"And I am certain that said cherry already had a plan against its master." Odin said testing the waters. Loki looked at his glass. He tasted it a little and then let it back on the table.
"No" he answered and it seemed to surprise the older god.
"You seem genuinely surprised." Loki said grabbing one of his favourite fruit and playing with it.
"I know you Loki; you keep your thoughts like a valuable treasure in a small chest inside a bigger chest, inside a bigger chest and no matter how many chests one opens there are always more but the sincerity in your answer, I must admit, surprised me." Odin said.
Loki nodded
"No matter what you think of me, and I must say that it is all true, I had been compromised, taken under the spell I had put my own minions. Ironic, isn't it?" the young prince said tossing the fruit in the air and catching it with his familiar smirk on his face.
Odin did not answer but kept watching at his younger son, trying to read him.
Suddenly Loki's face got serious and he let the fruit down.
"I have a plan now…" he said "… and you must help me." He said looking at him. Odin nodded without a question. He felt the weight of his son's fate already on his back. Those big, green eyes that had captured him from the first moment they had spotted him in that temple were now looking at him with such intense, like they were piercing into his soul seeking the answers to his question.
"What plan do you wish to accomplish with my help?" the mighty god asked him.
"It is not yet time to tell you but I ensure you it would be for all our sakes. The war that comes upon us is great and the enemy cannot be defeated, believe me I know. Asgard will fall and Earth will not stand a second attack." Loki said and for the first time that evening he saw his father smirk.
"You sound like you have much to lose." The King said. Loki looked at him surprised. He struggled to find the right words to say reminding his father of the little kid he used to be trying to cover for his mess.
At the end, Loki took a deep breath and gave up. There was nothing to hide. He had come here to get answers and he needed to be honest if he wanted his father to tell him the truth.
"I do." He said making Odin sink into his thoughts. There was a pause between them in which Loki grabbed the chance to read his father. He had relaxed in his chair, had tasted his wine and seemed to be thinking hard.
Now they were getting somewhere
"There are pieces of my memory that I have not retrieved; pieces that are connected to my past life and all the events that fuel my anger towards you. This makes me weak and can give Thanos a way to compromise me again… even without magic. I need my mind to be clear with no doubt and no lose ends, in order for this plan to work. It is for this purpose that I needed to talk to you tonight. I need you to fill the blanks." Loki said catching his father's attention.
The older god seemed confused and troubled. Loki was right. Their last conversation had been interrupted abruptly and they never got a chance to finish it. It had been no surprise that the young god had gone mad with whatever assumptions he had made in his head having only a part of the truth.
He had been too late and he never got a chance to save him.
"What do you want me to do?" Odin asked him.
"First, I need to know the truth, all of it; no short cuts or edited editions."
Odin looked at his adopted son. He had been right when he had said that Loki had prepared for a long night. But, was he ready to reveal the truth? Did he even know what the truth was after all these years and after everything that had happened? Really, how had they reached that state of distrust and rival? It was only yesterday they had walked away from that biglesnipe joking about glares that made the enemy shiver.
The golden god took a zip from his wine and prepared to speak.
"The battle had been nearly over. We had practically won. The city had been ours, the palace had been ours and only Laufey remained to be found. I walked to the temple believing he had been hiding there along with his powerful relic waiting for me. There is no doubt that should he had been there I would not be standing in front of you now." Odin said.
"One way or another" Loki added. If Laufey had killed Odin, he wouldn't be there either; he would have died in that temple.
"True, but Laufey was nowhere to be found. The Jotuns guarding the temple were not even a challenge. I gave them a chance to leave, to save their lives but their loyalty stood above their self preservation, I have to give them that." Odin said.
"Loyalty to Laufey? I thought he was some kind of tyrant." Loki said.
"It is true that as a king Laufey was not very wise or democratic but it wasn't Laufey they had been loyal to but the Casket, the force that kept their home together." Odin said and paused for a few seconds. "However, now that I think about it, it might not have been just the Casket they had been guarding, given what else was hidden inside the temple." The older god said eyeing his younger son. Loki looked at him confused and kept that question for the next step of his plan.
"All in all, they did not survive and I entered the temple. I was impressed by it, I must say, it had been a piece of art; so mystifying. The casket had been right there, in the middle, waiting for me. I could feel its power calling me; I nearly touched it but you… saved me." Odin said. Now Loki was really confused. Odin smirked and grabbed the same fruit Loki had been playing a while ago making it peel it self and split in several pieces. He laid upon a plate and ate a piece.
"I wanted to touch it, to feel its power run through me, I was curious and vain but as I had stretched my hand ready to do that lethal mistake I heard something weird; a child's cry."
"You would have died if you had touched it; it is only meant for Jotuns to use it." Loki realized and Odin nodded.
"Yes, realizing that, I came out of the Casket's spell and walked towards the sound. I climbed the steps and there you were; a bundle of blue flesh and black hair crying, desperate to catch someone's attention. You were so small for a giant's offspring, so small and defenseless just left there in the middle of a war with no one to take care of you, to feed you or keep you safe."
"Abandoned, left to die" Loki quoted Odin's words from their first talk. Odin eyed him and continued.
"I took you to my hands and you stopped crying. You looked at me with those mystifying red eyes like you were piercing down my soul, asking me if I would abandon you too. You were no different from my son, blue skin or not, you were just a child. At that moment, it was like someone had taken the black curtain away from my face and I could see clearly what I had done. All those people that had died during Laufey's invasion in Midgard, all those Asgardians that had fallen, the mothers and wives and children left alone, all those Jotun that had died for a King's vanity, it was meaningless. War is meaningless. Peace was the only thing worth fighting for." Odin said emptying his glass.
"I noticed your marks from the first second I saw you. I knew who's son you were, I knew you were the heir to the throne of Jotunheim and you had saved me before you had even met me. I would not abandon you, even if you were just a baby lost in the dangerous mountains of that realm I would still bring you home but you were our chance to a peaceful world." Odin said and stopped sensing that the young prince wanted to comment on his tale but Loki actually bit his lip and tasted the fruit Odin had sliced up. The older God surprised by his son's self control and genuine interest in hearing his side if the story, continued.
"At that time I thought I could change the feelings of the Asgardians towards Frost Giants through you. You were adorable and I was certain you would win every heart in Asgard as you had won mine. I would teach you all of my knowledge and prepare you to claim your birthright in the throne of Jotunheim as a rightful and wise king who would use the power of the Casket wisely." Odin said.
"So, what happened? Why did you mask my true form and raised me in a life full of questions and lies?' Loki asked.
Odin sighed. He looked at his glass thinking of how to proceed.
"You were very sick when I found you. I had to take you to Asgard, to the healers but I could not just bring a Jotun prince to Asgard. The war had just finished, the wounds were still open and I had to form a plan before I show you to the world. I tried to give you an appearance similar to ours so no one could question me when I said you were my son. However, when I casted my spell, your body worked in its own accord. You had that little part of humanity in you that troubled me but then I saw the mark on your back…" Odin said surprising Loki for the first time.
"You knew I was part human? You knew who my real mother was?" the young prince asked him.
"I knew you were part human and I knew where you originated from. You belong to my blood line Loki, one way or another, you are my blood" the older god said smiling. Loki sat up straight in his chair looking into the void. That had been old news. Borr had told him they were tales saying they originated from the All- father but wasn't always a tale like that? The royal family that originated from the all mighty god and such staff? However, hearing Odin confirming it made him feel weird.
So his father that was not his real father was in reality his ancestor.
"You always thought too much Loki; let your mind rest for a moment. We are still in the beginning. What I am about to tell you is a secret I haven't even told your mother all these years." The All father said catching the young god's attention.
"When I brought you here, I got my most trustful healer to attend to you. At first I tried to deceit him and tell him you we had found you outside the palace, but Alzar was too smart and unfortunately father of one of my greatest warriors, Alzarer, who had been killed in battle. As the days were passing and you were not getting better, I had to tell Alzar the truth in order to help him understand the situation. I stripped you from your Asgardian form and let him tend to you. I never imagined what would happen next." Odin said and decided that this part needed a gulp of wine. Loki was all ears, obviously frustrated about this small pause.
"Fate was on your side that night, my son. I had had a weird feeling since the moment I left you alone with the healer. I knew Alzar's story and no matter how faithful the man had been I could not shake the feeling he would take his revenge on you. I got up that night, to check up on you. As I was walking down the secret hall to this very chamber in which I had hidden you I heard a scream. I ran and got just in time to see Alzar holding a knife in one hand while his other one was hanging on his side, blackened."
"A frost bite" Loki realized and the older god nodded.
"You had been lucky you had your original form and you had the chance to defend yourself even at such a tender age." Odin said remembering every minute of that dreadful night.
He ran to the chamber seeing Alzar holding a knife while his other hand hanged on his side useless.
"Alzar, what are you doing?" the All – Father barked.
"I am ridding us of Laufey's bastard. I will not allow another one from that monstrous line to live." The healer had said.
"Alzar, put the knife down, Loki has done nothing to you, he is just a child. He is not responsible for his father's mistakes." The King tried to reason with him while thinking of a way to save the baby.
"Loki? You named him already? Has this child blinded you, All – father? Can't you see he will grow up to slay us all and bring chaos to the universe just like his father has? He must die!" the healer said and attacked Loki with his knife.
Odin was faster and knocked him out with an energy ball. He ran towards the crib and made sure Loki was not hurt. He approached Alzar and bounded him with his magic.
"One day, my son will be a wise and just King and then I will take you out of the dungeons to realize what you were about to do." Odin said to him.
"You have brought a great evil inside your house my King and I hope you realize that before it is too late." Alzar said before Odin sent him to the dungeons.
"He was right; you had brought a great evil inside your house." Loki said getting up.
"I thought you wanted the whole story with no short cuts. Sit down, I am not finished." Odin said. The younger god eyed him and sat down again. He had to do this; he had to gather all the information he could.
"That night, was the first night your mother saw you. I never told her what had happened in this chamber but I think she might already have known. We agreed Asgard was not ready for you yet and so we covered you once more. The following years proved us right as three more attacks took place. You were too young to remember off course but we actually almost lost you twice. Your mother was scared. We could not risk exposing you before you were strong enough to protect yourself. You must understand Loki; every time you and your brother left the palace you were in twice the danger Thor could ever be." Odin said.
Realization hit Loki.
The younger man got up and started pacing around letting his memories and thoughts consume him. All those times he got lectured and punished just because he had followed his brother outside the walls while Thor got as much as a warning, was because they had been afraid he could have been killed?
All those fights he had had with his father over the fact he preferred studying and practicing magic rather than practicing the art of war, was in fact because of Odin's fear he might not be able to protect him.
Suddenly a blurry image came into his mind and a horrifying feeling consumed him.
"Someone had broken into my room; a woman. She had tried to suffocate me." Loki said in a calm voice. It was a foggy memory; probably form his early years that his mind had locked away because the fear it brought him.
"You governess." Odin confirmed.
"You realize now the danger in which you were every single moment of your life. You needed to become stronger, wiser, to think things through before you act. You needed to learn how to protect yourself more than Thor, more than anyone in the realm. I am sorry if I had been harsh on you my son and I am sorry if you thought I favored your brother all these years but what I did was necessary to keep you alive; for that I do not apologize." Odin said.
Loki embraced himself trying to sort things out. Everything had gotten so complicated.
"What I don't understand is why you didn't tell the truth when I got older, when I would be able to protect me from the world." Loki said. He felt Odin's eyes on his back but didn't turn around. The lights of the city calmed him down and god knew how calmed he needed to be at the moment.
"There were various reasons why I kept postponing the inevitable. You had grown up learning to hate Jotunheim and be afraid of Frost Giants as every other child in Asgard. I was so focused in keeping you safe I forgot about the other aspects of bringing you up, like keeping stories like that away from you. Thor and his dreams were not good counselors either. By the time you would come to age I was afraid of your reaction to the truth. When Balder's accident happened…" Odin said letting his voice trail. Loki stiffened and fought to keep his mask intact.
Balder, his brother
He had killed his brother.
He had only meant to help him but everything had gone wrong. After all these years he realized it had been the Jotun in him that had killed his brother.
"I killed him but I didn't mean to. I… I… I only wanted to help him. You had told me… but I thought you… you were underestimating me as always, I never thought…" Loki said and felt his father's hand on his shoulder.
"I should have told you then why I didn't want you to help him. It was not your fault you couldn't control your true power. You had no idea what was within you. I should have told you. I lost two sons that day." Odin said.
"I never forgave myself and I know you hate me ever since." Loki said and felt his father grip tightening upon his shoulder.
"I never hated you Loki, I can't hate you; you are my child. Every mistake you make is my responsibility and Balder's accident was more of my doing than yours. I never forgave my self for that." The old man said and returned to his chair emptying his cup again. Loki turned around watching him deciding to keep a safe distance.
"I realized then your true power. I got scared, I won't lie to you. You could not handle your true power and as your abilities in magic grew I was afraid you might have another accident." Odin added.
"So you thought that disapproving my studies of magic would keep me in line." Loki said bitter.
"I could only wish for it. You were always a rebel, trying to cut the ties especially after Balder's death. You clung onto the only thing that defined you since you had been a boy and would never let it go. I could not tell you the truth after that. I knew the consequences would be dreadful. You would realize what had happened that night and you would have gone mad. I fought on what I thought was right and I saw you distancing yourself from me every day. You were slipping from my hands and along with that from my protection. I got desperate and stepped on every mistake you made to point to you that you had to listen to me but that brought the exact opposite results." Odin said sighing heavily.
"Your brother was always a lot more easy to deal with; straightforward, hot headed but you were a walking enigma."
"A chest inside a chest" Loki said smirking.
"When you brought Sleipnir I was more than shocked. I never saw it coming and then Hela. I knew then you were about to walk down to dangerous paths. I tried to stop you but all I did was to push you more into it and then to cover my mistakes as a father I told my self it was Laufey within you that guided you." The All father admitted.
Loki looked at him with eyes wide open. So, he had given up on him way before the incident on the bridge. That thought hurt him like a stab in the heart but he swallowed it with pride and regained his cold, neutral demeanor. He had requested the truth after all.
"The truth was that I saw a part of my self in you and I was afraid. Thor had grown to be bloodthirsty and vain; you were manipulative, always seizing a situation by its benefit to you. I had failed as a father." Odin said.
Loki walked away from the window and stood next to the table. He grabbed a fruit and started playing with it.
"I went mad when I found out the truth; when you passed out I though I had killed you; that you would never wake up. I thought that I had done it again, as I had done it to Balder. Everything had gone so wrong and mother was the only one in the palace who trusted me to be a good king. That's what I wanted to do, be a good king, do what is right and prove you wrong. I wanted to prove you that no matter if I was a Frost Giant Asgard would always come first." Loki said surprising the old king.
Odin looked at him with one eye wide in realization.
"That's why you made the deal with Laufey? So you could kill him, saving me and prove to everybody that you were loyal to me?"
"Everybody wanted Jotunheim off the map, father, I thought I was doing what everybody wanted. If I destroyed Jotunheim there would be no doubts about my loyalty, no signs of my origin and even if someone was to discover my true nature they would have nothing on me. I would be free to rule Asgard in your side." Loki said regretting every thought he had ever made.
What had that plan brought him if not pain?
"I am sorry my son"
"You claim to love me, to know me better than everyone and be sorry for what I have done but you had no problem to disown me, to push me into oblivion as I hanged over the abyss. For all the things you have done I do not think I will be able to forgive you for that." Loki said revealing his greatest pain, the proof that his father had never loved him.
"I will never forgive my self for that, Loki. I believe you know how it is to be haunted by your nightmares, to wake up in the middle of the night trying to escape your thoughts." The mighty god said.
Loki nodded. Of course he knew. He had spent the past year trying to survive the screams of his victims and every nightmare that haunted him without even knowing why they had been haunting him in the first place.
"It had been a miscalculation." Odin said feeling Loki's eyes wiping him in the face as they met him with high speed and force. His green orbs narrowed in disbelief as Loki tried to connect that information with the guilty father he had been talking to a few seconds before.
"I know it sounds cold but it is the truth. I forced my self out of the Odinsleep in order to stop you. I got there just in time to grab your brother as he grabbed you to save you from the abyss at your feet. You reminded me of that boy I had saved from that biglesnipe all those years ago but then you talked. You had a very twisted version of the truth in your head. I had to right it. I never thought you would leave your brother's hand. I thought I knew you; I believed you would come up on the bridge and try to convince me I was wrong. Things would be tough from there and you knew it."
"I did not take the easy way out!" Loki interrupted him. Odin looked at him willing to let his son express the anger he knew he had been keeping all this time.
"Do you know what it feels to hang over your oblivion and realize that you are truly alone in the world? Do you know how it feels to not know who you are? To have no family? To fall? I kept falling into a complete nothingness, I was watching the stars go by until they were but shining balls, I heard the universe singing to me and all of my nightmares coming towards me and I had nowhere to go! I was no one! I was nothing! Do you know what it feels to be nothing? And then there was someone who was willing to let me be someone… and I was too weak to object." Loki said disappointed with himself. He let his body fall on his chair and looked outside the window. Should he tell the old man what had really happened in that moon? Was it really necessary?
He gave a small laugh troubling his father. He glanced at him and let his gaze return to the eternal city.
"Ironic isn't it how history repeats it self? I had been abandoned and left to die by one father and then I was abandoned and pushed to my death by another father; and every time someone saved me I became a bigger monster." He said.
Not when Natasha found me, not when Millie found me…
He shook those words from his head and returned to his plan.
"Monsters do not have guilds, Loki." Odin said.
"It doesn't matter. Thanos took advantage of my hatred and pain and compromised me. He showed me all those wars in Midgard, people dying and convinced me that what they truly needed was a King to relieve them from their free will. He relieved me from mine to prove his point and it had felt so good. I felt no pain or regrets for what I was doing because simply it was not my decision if I would do it. I just enjoyed the ride. I was foolish and weak. When I woke up it was already too late. There were so many things at stake to go back." Loki said.
"It is never too late…"
"Tell that to yourself." Loki stopped him before he could finish. The young prince took a deep breath and apologized.
"We have not much time. Tell me why did you help mother take me away from your punishment without telling Thor?" Loki asked Odin surprising him once more.
"I know her; she would use all of her weapons against you before she conducted any dark magic. Plus there is no magic to outstand your except perhaps mine." The young god said smirking.
"After we lost you the first time we were all devastated. Your mother was mourning, your brother was taunted by nightmares calling your name and spending days in your chambers. I had my own share of guilds to withstand. The news of your return brought contradicting feelings. Your mother and brother were certain they could bring you home and thus I used dark magic to allow Thor to come to you."
"What more than that?" Loki asked him smirking.
"The Tesseract was in stake as well, no need for motives to be analyzed again. Having the burden to punish you for your crimes with an angry Asgard on my back and Azard's words in my head I did what a fair judge would do." Odin said.
"Exposing me in front of all of Asgard?" Loki said bitter.
"Asgard would never accept you for what you were but for once that came pretty useful. I would never let them connect your face, the face of their prince with that of a murderer in the dungeons. I might as well let them think of that criminal as a Frost Giant and blame your atrocities to that." Odin explained.
"You made me a favour." Loki said in irony smirking.
Odin gave him a disapproving look and went on.
"Thor accepted your punishment eventually but your mother could not. She spent day after day trying to relieve you. One day she came to me really upset saying that if you remained in Asgard one great evil would take you and would torture you to death. Your mother never reveals her visions but I knew she would not lose another time. When Thor found out he yelled and fought with me to let you go. I love you Loki and I would never want anything bad to happen to you." Odin said trying to read his son's expression.
The young prince was deep in thought.
"We decided to keep it a secret because it was too risky for anyone to know. I never got to the dungeons. Your mother is strong enough to bide your powers and cast the redemption spell all on her own. She put a clone in your place and kept going with her routine so that no one would suspect what was going on. All I did was to set you free." Odin said.
Loki got up again and paced around the room.
"But things did not go as you had planed." Loki said.
"No, but it turned out to be for the best." Odin said.
"I will be the judge of that." Loki flipped pacing around. Suddenly he stopped and looked at his father.
"I think I need to sleep on your words. You should do the same. You need to trust my word when I say that I will confide my plan to you in the morning." The young prince said.
Odin got up and looked at his son.
"I trust you, my son; it is your plans that have always troubled me." Odin said.
"Well, you can sleep knowing that this plan will be the most troublesome of all." Loki said doing anything but putting the All Father at ease.
The golden god, eye his son and put his hand on his shoulder.
"Good night my son, we will speak in the morning." He said and walked towards the passage he had come.
"Good night, father." Loki said making the old man smile.