A/N: I'm baaaaack. Riley finally tells Sirius what she thinks of the whole situation. There is still more complaining in this chapter and it starts to get better by the next chapter. Please review!
Disclaimer: I ain't J.K. Rowling...yes I just used the word ain't.
Kisses on the Balcony
By ByeByeBirdie
Chapter 25: Of Detention, Love, & Commitment
Riley had done more than enough work that day to fulfill her wishes of not thinking about Sirius and was exhausted. She planned on going to back to her room and heading to bed, even if it was only ten o'clock on a Saturday night. But she could barely sleep the night before. She was hoping tonight would be different.
She was heading down the hallway towards the Fat Lady when she met the gaze of none other but Rachael LeBlanc. It was too late for her to turn around and not acknowledge Rachael considering they had already met eye contact. Riley instead froze on the spot and waited for Rachael to reach her.
"Why, hello there, Miss Gilmore," Rachael greeted, a smirk resting on her face.
"Hey, Rachael," Riley replied dryly. "If you don't mind letting me pass, I've got to be heading back to my room." She attempted to maneuver around Rachael, but Rachael stepped in the same direction as Riley. "Don't do this, LeBlanc," she snarled. "Don't mess with me. I am so not in the mood."
"Too humiliated to deal with the aftermath?" Rachael snickered, grinning wickedly.
"No, I'm just afraid that if you remain any longer you'll soon be walking without a head," Riley barked, glaring heatedly at Rachael.
Rachael guffawed. "As if I'm scared of you. You're too pathetic right now to back that statement up with proof."
Riley pulled out her wand immediately and shoved it in Rachael's face. "Are you sure you want to risk it?"
Rachael rolled her eyes and slapped Riley's wand away. She took a step to the side and let Riley pass. When Riley had her back to Rachael, Rachael spoke out again. "So I guess the whole damsel-in-distress plan did work. He chose me, Gilmore. Guess you were wrong."
Riley froze. She swallowed hard, gained composure, and turned around to glare at Riley. "Don't you wonder why in one moment he was pushing you away, yelling at you for making a move on him and in the next, he was storming into the common room to kiss you in front of everyone?"
Rachael frowned irritably.
"It was because I broke up with him. He just went crawling back to you to make a point to me."
"Oh yeah? Then why he's still with me two days later?" Rachael shot back.
To that, Riley didn't have a reply.
"Face it, Gilmore," Rachael said, emphasizing every word slowly, "I won." She smirked. "I got the guy!" She winked smugly at her before turning around on her heel to walk away.
"Hey, LeBlanc!" Riley cried out.
Rachael stopped at the end of the hallway and as much as she knew she shouldn't, she turned around out of curiosity.
"You can have him," she replied softly. "I wouldn't want someone's sloppy seconds anyhow." She gave Rachael one more look before muttering the password to the Fat Lady and heading into the common room, praying the tears wouldn't start falling until she got up to her room.
It didn't happen often where Riley felt like a fool. She had always made sure she could never be put in that position. But with every word Rachael spoke to her, she felt even more foolish and stupid for ever falling for Sirius' charm. Why hadn't she just learned her lesson the first time around?
Jillian slowly walked over to Riley the next morning in the common room. Riley was alone by the fire, flipping through Astronomy notes mechanically. "Hey, Riley."
Riley was surprised to see Jillian standing in front of her. "Hey, Jillian."
She sighed. "Listen, I know that…that we haven't really talked much without the rest of the group around, but I-I just wanted to say that just because Rachael is my roommate doesn't mean I'm on her side."
Riley's stomach lurched at the mention of Rachael's name. She smiled at the nice gesture, though. "Really?"
Jillian nodded. "Yeah," she responded with a shrug. "In fact, Rachael can be quite a bitch when it comes to the things she wants. She's not used to hearing no, that's for sure. I-I'm really sorry if she got in the way of your relationship with Sirius."
A knot was forming in Riley's stomach. She was glad for Jillian's gesture, but she really didn't want to talk about this. "Thanks, Jillian. That actually means a lot."
She smiled. "Anytime." She waved goodbye and headed up the stairs to her room.
It was a very short conversation, but it gave Riley back some faith in humankind.
She smiled. Remus was dating an awesome girl, that's for sure.
It was as if they were all walking to their death. All coming from different directions but feeling the same treacherous agony: Let's get this night over with.
James couldn't even describe the dread he was feeling. With every step he took, his legs felt heavier and heavier until he could barely walk without feeling as if he was sinking into the ground. He didn't want to face Riley for he was ashamed. He didn't want to face Sirius for Sirius hated him and had every reason to. He even contemplated skipping out but knew in the end, he couldn't do it. McGonagall would have his head. And so he kept on walking, no matter how difficult he knew that night would end up being.
Riley felt like she was walking towards her death. This was going to effect her most of all. There were two people she didn't know if she could stand facing. She had yet to run into James in the past two days and although she knew it couldn't last, she was hoping it would have lasted longer than this. The idea of being forced in a room with him and her cheating ex-boyfriend made her want to cry. She could barely look at Sirius without feeling a significant amount of pain. He had already hurt her enough, but McGonagall was torturing her by putting her in the same room with him. She thought she was angry. Turns out, her anger had always been grief that she was just masking. She realized how much she was suffering when the entire school body found it necessary to come up to her and ask about the hidden affair. She had cried herself to sleep the night before and her dreams consisted of their time together. She woke up with the tears stinging her cheeks and she clutched her pillow close to her, as if that would fill the void. So the idea of being in a room with someone who made her sob incessantly and someone who she couldn't look at without feeling the utter betrayal made her want to throw herself off the highest tower.
Sirius didn't know how to comprehend the upcoming detention. Ever since his encounter with James on Friday night, things had been less explosive between them and yet still terribly awkward. He had no idea what to even think when it came to James. He wanted to hate him. And a part of him did. But in the end, he still wanted his best friend. He wanted James to help him figure out where it all went wrong with Riley. Riley. Sirius sighed. He didn't know what to think of Riley. He wanted to be around her because he still very much had feelings for her and yet he was angry with her. Really angry with her. She broke up with him not because of Rachael but because she was scared. Which made him even angrier. Because he sure as hell was scared, too. But instead of even attempting to talk to him about it, she threw up her usual defensive wall and let her heart take a beating. And in the end, his heart took an even worse beating.
Rhett, thankfully, was already at the trophy room when the three of them arrived, only minutes after each other. Rhett could feel the tension in the air and chose not to say anything for fear of being castrated.
The caretaker, Apollyon Pringle, gave them their assignment and gestured towards the room. He left quickly after and the four reluctantly went to scrubbing down the trophies and awards. The only words spoken amongst each other were James' murmurs saying they should each stick to an area and leave when they are done.
An hour went by without another word and James and Sirius were thankful for it. They were the only ones, though. Riley was going crazy with the silence and so was Rhett, both in need of some chatter in order to make the work go faster. They all jumped when Riley finally spoke to Rhett beside her.
"How was your date with Idina on Friday night, Rhett?"
The three of them halted their work to stare at Riley intensely, who acted as if nothing was out of the ordinary.
"Uh…" he stuttered. "Well, actually, we didn't end up going out."
"Aw, why not?" Riley asked rather cheerfully, hoping to liven things up.
Rhett shrugged and quickly fell back into his comfort zone. "It just wasn't going to work out."
"I'm sorry," Riley replied sincerely. "Why not?"
Rhett hesitated. "Well, she wasn't-"
"Excuse me," Sirius abruptly interrupted, "but some of us are trying to work and it's rather hard when you two are chattering on."
Riley snorted. "You're scrubbing awards," she snapped, throwing a glare over shoulder from the other side of the room. "You don't need quiet."
"I like quiet," he grumbled.
"Funny, since you're always talking."
"I just want to work!"
"You've never wanted to work a day in your life and you start now?" she questioned with much hostility.
"It's better than hearing your bloody voice yap on," Sirius shot back, narrowing his eyes at her.
Riley swallowed hard and due to the lump in her throat, obeyed Sirius' wishes.
Another hour went by in total silence before Sirius spoke up. "Why the hell were you skipping class, Davies?"
"I thought you wanted quiet," Riley sneered.
"I believe I was speaking to Rhett."
Rhett's eyes darted back and forth between Riley and Sirius awkwardly.
"So? Why were you skipping class?" Sirius questioned again.
Rhett shared a glance with Riley, who shrugged. "I was hanging out with Riley," he admitted.
As soon as Riley's name was out of Rhett's mouth, Sirius stopped progress of scrubbing the "Best Science Award of 1898." His heart skipped a beat, wondering how he was supposed to take that. "I thought you were hiding from the public," he stated. It was obviously directed towards Riley.
"I was," Riley agreed, enjoying Sirius squirm. "But Rhett joined me for a little while."
Sirius tightened his grasp around his rag. "How nice of him," he said dryly.
"Don't use that tone," Riley ridiculed angrily. "You don't get to act that way. You chose Rachael, remember?"
"I didn't choose her," Sirius snapped. "You pushed me towards her!"
Riley threw down her rag and whirled around to glare at him. "Don't you dare accuse me of that," she snarled, pointing her finger at him. "You chose her the moment you made the decision to go to her on your birthday!"
"I went to her so I could tell her we needed to stop hanging out!"
"Yeah, well clearly there was some disconnect or the bitch wouldn't have kissed you."
"Oh Merlin, I so don't want to get into this again," he grumbled.
The mood in the room changed dramatically as Riley leaned up against the case of awards, an overwhelming feeling of dejection taking over her entire body. "How could you, Sirius?" she asked softly, surprising them all. The three boys looked up, wondering when the anger was suddenly replaced by agony. "I know you left that dungeon room feeling hurt and irritated and upset and angry. Believe me, I know exactly what you were feeling. But how could you? If our relationship really did mean something to you - anything to you - you wouldn't have immediately gone off to snog Rachael. It didn't even take you a half hour to get over it," she whispered. "How the hell is that supposed to make me feel?"
Sirius opened his mouth to protest but couldn't find the right words. He was shocked that Riley was bringing it up. He was sure that she would just pretend like nothing had happened. She was sure she would avoid the subject of their relationship altogether. Instead, she weas shoving it back in his face. And it was making him feel quite small.
"You did choose Rachael, Sirius," she muttered, closing her eyes. She swallowed hard and opened them again, staring directly into Sirius' eyes. "While I sat in that dungeon feeling the exact same emotions you did—hurt and irritated and upset and angry—and wondering if there was anything that could be done to fix it, you were off kissing Rachael. You were off betraying everything I ever felt towards you. Everything I said in that dungeon that night was clearly dead-on. You haven't changed, Sirius. You never will," she sighed.
He swallowed hard, turning his gaze away from her.
She sighed. "So I guess I have to thank you."
Sirius' head shot up immediately along with James' and Rhett's. "Heh?" Sirius said, confused.
"Yeah," she said, nodding incessantly, "I may have thought for a brief second that I was making a mistake, but thankfully, you proved me wrong. We're just back where we were two years ago, Sirius."
"Riley, I-"
"You chose to be the same guy you were two years ago, Sirius, which just goes to show that I made the biggest mistake of my life by giving you a second chance. So thank you for making me realize that the best thing I could have done on Thursday was walk away. Thank you for choosing Rachael and making my decision that much easier to handle," she said firmly, her eyes filled with desperate confidence. "Because you did choose Rachael, Sirius, no matter how many times you tell yourself you didn't. You did. In the sense that you, once again, didn't choose me."
The room got eerily quiet as Sirius digested everything that Riley had just said, not sure what to think about it. "I didn't think you wanted me to choose you," Sirius said coldly.
"I didn't. I don't," Riley clarified quickly. "Why the hell would I want to be with a chauvinistic Casanova who is the same guy he was when he was thirteen years old?"
"I have changed," Sirius argued, glaring at her. "It's you that hasn't. You're the one who is still that scared little thirteen-year-old girl too afraid to let a guy into her independent life. Ironically as it turns out, you're not so independent."
"Oh, will you quit with that?" Riley snapped. "I don't need you! I never needed you! You were convenient. That's all it ever was."
That hit Sirius' heart hard. That's all he was to her? Convenience?
"While we're on this subject matter, how about the two of you fill in some blanks?" James finally chimed in, glancing over at the two. "Because I still am not entirely sure how Rachael was involved in the break-up to begin with."
"You don't get to speak about our relationship," Riley scorned, glaring at him with much hatred.
Sirius nodded vigorously. "You think it's okay to talk about our relationship after blurting it out to the whole goddamned school? You don't get that privilege, James."
"I'm not talking about your relationship," James argued. "I'm talking about your break-up and exactly how Rachael fits into everything. I get that Sirius stupidly snogged her after the break-up but where does she come in before that?" He was mainly thinking aloud. He had a pretty good feeling that they weren't planning on telling him.
Riley rolled her eyes. Her vulnerability was once again replaced with a guarded wall. "You mean besides the fact that she's a manipulative, horny bitch?" Riley snorted.
"She didn't do anything!" Sirius snapped. "It was all you."
After everything she had just confessed to him, he still had the nerve to blame her. "Fuck you, Sirius!"
"You guys are being ridiculous!" James cried out.
"Oh, shut up, James! You have no right to even dare speak words at us!" Sirius snarled.
"I think you're the one that needs to shut up, Black!" Riley exclaimed, getting irritated with the sound of his voice.
"Uh, can I interrupt here and say something?" Rhett asked in a small voice.
"NO!" the three of them shouted back, not glancing towards him but continuing to glare at each other.
"Alright then."
James glanced at Riley's frustration and although he knew he should remain quiet, he chose to continue. "Why didn't you tell me you broke up with him?"
Riley's heart skipped a beat and her anger subsided into surprise. "What does that have anything to do with this?"
"You gave me, and I believe everyone else, the impression that Sirius broke it off with you. But that wasn't the case," James stated. "You ended it. And that's why you didn't want to tell me what happened. That's why you don't want to tell anyone what happened."
"I don't want to tell you what happened because you don't deserve anything from me!"
"You're being defensive. And when you get defensive, it's because you're hiding something," James pointed out with a shrug. "So c'mon. Tell us. What really happened?"
"I'm not telling you jack shit, James. Just shut the hell up."
"Why'd you break up with him?" James asked casually.
"Oh, bloody hell. Because he was with Rachael!" she shouted, giving him an incredulous look.
"No, that's not it. What was the real reason?"
"I'm not dignifying that with a response!" she said angrily, her face going red from embarrassment. She couldn't believe she was discussing this with James and Sirius was in the room. She couldn't believe she was discussing it at all. She should have kept her mouth shut.
"You were scared," James mused, staring at her intently, waiting for her reaction.
Riley scoffed. "What?"
"That's why you broke up with him. It didn't have anything to do with Sirius. It had to do with you. You were scared."
"What the hell are you talking about? Haven't we already established that Sirius chose Rachael and that's why the break-up occurred?" Riley snapped.
"No, I believe you admitted that he chose Rachael after he had already walked out of the dungeon, hence after the break-up."
"Fine, it happened after. But she still kissed the guy in the library."
"Oh, so you admit that she kissed me," Sirius muttered, rolling his eyes.
"Shut up, Black!" Riley snarled.
"Wow," James whispered, his mind spinning around in a whirlwind as he reminisced. "This all makes so much sense now."
"What does?" Riley asked, not really sure she wanted to hear what he had to say.
"He's the reason," James contemplated to himself in a hushed tone.
Riley quirked an eyebrow. "Huh?"
"He's the reason," James said in a firmer tone, shaking his head in disbelief.
Riley rolled her eyes. "Do you want to explain or just continue repeating your own words?"
"He's the reason that you're so afraid of…of love," James clarified with a shrug, like it was the simplest thing.
"Ex-cuse me?"
"Isn't it obvious?" James snorted.
"Evidently it's not," Sirius chimed in dryly.
"Stay out of this," James quickly responded.
"Well, clearly this is also about me."
"Yeah, but we're not discussing it with you."
"I am in the room, y'know!"
"Stay out of this," James repeated, turning back to gaze at Riley. "You're so afraid of love because of what happened the first time around with Sirius. That's why you've always been so afraid of relationships. It was all because of him."
Riley blanched, a chill running down her spine. "Don't say anymore."
James ignored her request. "You said before that you were right back where you started two years ago. And what happened two years ago? You put your trust in him, you let your guard down, and he turned around and completely humiliated you. Ever since then, you've been scared of relationships," he quickly continued. "You've run in the opposite direction when given the chance, too scared to fall in love. Or even be given the option of love."
"Stop," Riley said softly.
"You've never let yourself get in too deep again, afraid of ultimate rejection in the end," James persisted. Rhett and Sirius were now looking on, ignoring their trophies and awards, more interested in what James had to say. "You admitted it before, Riley: you always run at the first sign of trouble. Look back upon all your past relationships—they didn't last because you ran. And you know why? Because Sirius hurt you. He hurt you bad. Which is why it's ironic he's the one you chose to take it past a few weeks. You put your trust in him again, you let your guard down again, and he turned around and completely betrayed that trust."
"Stop, James," Riley emphasized, her voice trembling.
"You ran, Riley. You got scared and you ran. You can't blame Sirius for this one. It was all you."
"Stop," she whispered.
"I don't know how Rachael is involved and personally, I don't need to know. You were falling for Sirius and that scared the shit out of you. When was the last time you were dependent on a guy? When was the last time you let your guard down around a guy? When was the last time you opened your heart? Never. Until Sirius re-entered. Face it, you ruined this. Not him."
"STOP!" she screamed, slamming the trophy in her hand against the concrete floor, making them all jump to the loud clattering sound. "You don't get to speculate on my personal life anymore, James! And you certainly don't get to do it in the company of Sirius!"
"Actually, I'm kind-of interested in what he has-"
"Shut up, Black!" Riley snapped.
"Did you love him, Riles?" James asked calmly.
"You can shut up, too, James!"
"Did you love him?"
Riley didn't say anything. She felt as if the room were spinning in circles. She could feel Sirius staring at her, curious of the answer, curious if James' theory was right. She could feel James staring at her, wanting her to admit she ran, wanting to admit she loved him. She could feel Rhett staring at her, uncertain where this conversation came from and uncertain what to do or say.
She opened her eyes and stared back at the three of them, uncertain how to respond to their curiosities. "You do not get to sit there and attempt to judge me, James," she snarled. "You don't get to ask me the hard questions. You don't get to try to figure me out. You don't get to help in any shape or form. Because you, in the simplest terms I can put it, are a selfish prick," she snarled, glaring at him. "You really think you get to come in here and attempt to mediate after everything you've put us through? Hell no. You don't get to swoop in and try to resolve everything. You don't get to say anything to me, period."
James opened his mouth to say something, anything to defend himself but she wouldn't let him. "I'm not afraid of anything, James," she growled, glaring at him heatedly. "I broke up with him because he hurt me and betrayed me. He wasn't the right guy for me. Our relationship was just a huge waste of time."
Sirius was just about to protest but was rendered speechless at her last comment.
"But I'm not afraid of relationships," she admitted. "I'm not afraid of love. I'm not afraid of being with someone who actually respects me." And with that, she threw her rag down on the floor and impetuously kissed Rhett on the lips.
Sirius' heart froze. His whole body went numb watching her kiss another guy.
James' mouth dropped.
She pulled away from him and stood up. "I refuse to sit here and argue about my love life with the two people I would be perfectly content with never speaking to again," she growled. "I'm done with my trophies and awards. I'm leaving."
She sped out of the room without another glance towards the three guys.
Rhett quickly jumped up and ran after her.
Sirius' and James' mouths were still wide open in shock.
"Is…is she with Rhett?" Sirius asked in a hoarse voice.
James shot him a look. "How should I know? She doesn't speak to me anymore." He went back to cleaning awards, only left with a few to scrub.
Sirius let out a sigh and he, too, returned to scrubbing the trophies.
Riley was halfway down the hallway when she heard her name being called out.
She turned around and saw Rhett jogging over to her. He smiled and they continued walking. "So, that was fun," he said lightheartedly.
Riley couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sorry you had to be there during it."
"It sure was…um…well, interesting," he stated. "I certainly learned a lot from you three."
"Oh? Like what?"
"Like always go to class or you'll end up stuck in detention with you three at a most inopportune time."
Riley playfully hit him on the shoulder as they rounded the corner. "Hey, I'm sorry for…er, springing that…er…kiss on you," she said, blushing.
Rhett snorted and gave Riley a look. "Riley, a beautiful girl never has to apologize for snogging me," he quipped.
Riley burst into laughter. "Fair enough."
"We probably would have been better off not speaking at all during that, that's for sure," Rhett murmured.
"Yeah, I've certainly learned my lesson," Riley snickered.
"Rhett nodded in agreement. "Can I ask you something?"
Riley had a feeling she knew what was coming, but nodded anyway.
"Did you love Sirius?"
Riley halted in the middle of the hallway, Sirius' face flashing through her mind. This was the first time she didn't try to avoid this question since she'd been asked."I-I don't know. I think I wanted to. I-I was trying to I guess. Maybe I was starting to even. But at this point, I hope not," she murmured. "I'm eighteen. How am I supposed to know what love is?"
"You just know," Rhett replied softly.
"Have you ever been in love?"
"God, no. I've never even been given the opportunity," he admitted.
Riley slowly nodded. "I-I don't think I have, either."
Rhett glanced at her. "What about Sirius?"
Riley sighed and ran her fingers through her hair sullenly. "He's not the guy I thought he was," she murmured. "Well, one thing James said was certainly true: I trusted him and I let my guard down. I didn't love him," she said hastily, changing her mind from her previous answer. "I-I think I just loved the idea of him."
Rhett had a feeling Riley was just saying it to make her feel better, but he didn't press it. "Er…can I ask you something else?"
Riley nodded.
"What were you and James talking about when you said the same thing happened two years ago?"
Riley sighed. "Just that. I slept with Sirius and he ran off to have sex with some other girl, leaving me behind. That seems to be a common theme within our relationships."
"Ouch," he cringed.
"Yep," she murmured, a frown spreading across her jawline "Dammit, what if James was right with what he said?"
"Er…he said a lot of things."
Riley bit down on her lip. "What if I am scared of love? What…" she trailed off, afraid to ask the question out loud. She sighed. "What if I end up alone?"
"Then you'll buy a lot of cats."
Riley scowled, a teasing smile on her face, and she pushed him towards the wall humorously. "Well aren't you funny."
"I think I am," he teased, winking at her. "Look, it's just hard now. You just gotta busy yourself with work. It will get better."
"I already finished all five essays that are due within the next three weeks," she said succinctly.
Rhett hesitated. "Do you like Calico or Siamese cats?"
Riley laughed and pushed him again. "I don't see why your date on Friday night didn't work out," she joked. "You're a funny guy. Girls like a sense of humor in a guy."
"Yeah, well…it wasn't really her that broke it off," he admitted.
"Oh?" Riley glanced up at him in surprise. "You did?"
He nodded.
"Why?"
"Because," he said slowly, taking a deep breath in, "She wasn't…wasn't the person I wanted to be with." He stared at her attentively, letting his eyes linger on hers a second too long before tearing them away.
Riley's heart skipped a beat. She just stared at him as he attempted to avert his eyes elsewhere. "Oh," she said, a smile curling up on her face. The smile widened and she put her hand in Rhett's.
Rhett was taken aback and glanced down at their intertwined fingers.
Riley smiled and pushed him against the wall, bringing her lips to his mouth, touching them lightly against his. She deepened the kiss quickly, wrapping her arm around his neck, before pulling away slowly. She stared into his eyes, which were wide in shock.
"Uh…"
"That time, it wasn't for show," she whispered.
"What about Sir-"
"That's over. He's in the past," she interrupted firmly. "We never got our chance, Rhett. It was over before it started. This is our opportunity."
"Riley..."
"Trust me, Rhett," she pleaded. She wondered if she and Rhett would have been able to stay together if Sirius hadn't gotten in the way. "You have oddly been there for me more in the past couple of days than anyone else has. You...you really seem to get me."
"I don't want you to jump into anything too soon," he explained.
She shook her head. "I'm not," she argued, kissing the tips of his fingers.
She was making it very hard for him to turn her down. "So this isn't about getting revenge on him? This isn't about making him jealous?"
She hesitated slightly before shaking her head. "I wouldn't use you like that, Rhett. Believe me, I-I know what that feels like."
He nodded slowly, uncertain what to believe.
She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, staring at him directly in the eyes. "Sirius came between us the last time. You going to let that happen again?"
Rhett was a little wary, but she looked so beautiful and hopeful that he inevitably shook his head slowly and adoringly. He framed her face with his hands and let his lips dance across hers.
She ignored the voice in the back of her mind that told her she was being a hypocrite. She was blaming Sirius for being a jerk to dive into an immediate relationship with Rachael, and she was doing the same with Rhett.
Except there was one major difference. Riley really wanted to be in a relationship with Rhett.
At least, that's what she tried to convince herself of.
Riley walked hand-in-hand with him, smiling happily. A smile that wasn't fake. Happiness that didn't waver. Rhett made her feel good about herself and that was enough for her.
Riley tensed when she heard footsteps behind her. She knew who it was immediately. "Go away, Sirius."
"So you're allowed to reprimand me for going after Rachael when here you are doing the same thing with Rhett?"
Riley whirled around to glare at him. "Seriously, Sirius? You're going to stand there and play Mr. Innocent with me?" she snapped. "I wasn't the one who ran off to find another girl thirty minutes after we broke up."
He frowned. "But three days later is okay? You would have been fine if I had chosen to wait three days to date Rachael? That's supposed be more acceptable?"
"Rhett wasn't the one who tore us apart, Sirius," she reminded him.
"Neither was Rachael," he said softly. "You did that all on your own."
Riley gritted her teeth, turning back around to hastily walk away. "Whatever makes you sleep at night," she muttered irritably.
"Not denying it, hm?"
Riley frowned, pausing at the end of the hallway. Slowly, she turned around to face him as he slowly met up with her once again. "I don't want to have this same argument over and over again, Sirius," she murmured. "You think I was in the wrong, I think you were in the wrong. I guess-"
"No," Sirius quickly cut her off, shaking his head. "Sure, I think you were partly in the wrong. And I think you're even more in the wrong because you can't even see that. But I know that I am not completely blameless, Riley. You warned me. Numerous times. And I chose to ignore it. You were right. I shouldn't have been with Rachael that night because I should have listened to you from the beginning. So for that, I'm always going to be sorry."
Her heart began to race at the careful words Sirius chose to say. She opened her mouth a few times to say something. Anything. But she came up blank.
"Are you?" he eventually asked.
"Am I what?"
He shrugged. "Sorry that we broke up."
She blinked. Once. And then twice. A third time. He continued to stare at her with desperate eyes and it was making it impossible for her to think. "Look, none if it matters now anyway," she murmured with a shrug. "We've both moved on, right? Whatever it was that you and I had is in the past."
"It's been three days."
She frowned. "So?"
He didn't say anything, stepping past her and walking towards the Gryffindor tower. "You've really moved on?" he asked over his shoulder.
Riley slowly followed him, much to her chagrin. "Haven't you?"
He wandered up a stairwell as he pondered the question. He knew the answer to it was no but he couldn't tell her that. "We're the same people we used to be," he muttered. "Maybe you were right. Maybe we haven't changed."
"I never said I didn't change. Only you," she scoffed.
"You're with some rebound three days after we broke up. Sounds an awful lot like the old Riley."
"He's not some rebound," she snapped. "If you recall, I was with him back in December. He and I actually could have been something if you hadn't annoyingly intervened."
He smirked. "You didn't think it was annoying when you came crawling back to my door in December."
She slapped him across the face and he quickly recoiled. "I didn't crawl back to you, Sirius, and I don't appreciate you insinuating that I did," she snapped. "I had a momentary lack of judgment where I actually believed I could trust you again. Turns out, I couldn't have been more wrong."
She shot him one last glare before quickly storming off, leaving Sirius there slightly dumbfounded.
He sighed. "Well, that went well."
There was a knock on Lily's door late that night.
Before she could even ask who it was, the door opened.
"Remind me never to skip class again," James murmured, rubbing his temples as he climbed on to the bed beside his girlfriend, who was finishing up some reading.
Lily grimaced. "That bad?"
"Lots of yelling. Lots of confrontation. Lots of questions. But no answers."
Lily grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her as she threw her notes on to the ground beside her bed. "I'm sorry, baby."
He shrugged, placing his head into her lap with a sigh. "Don't be. I put myself here. I was the one who ruined everything," he muttered. "They both hate me."
Lily stroked his hair comfortingly. "They don't hate you. They're disappointed in you."
"That's even worse," he groaned, making a face.
She chuckled.
"I'm a terrible person."
"Oh, you are not."
"I am selfish."
"Not."
"Judgmental."
"Stop."
"Awful friend."
"Not reall—actually, that one I might give you."
James lifted his gaze to face her amused eyes. "I'd laugh, but alas, it is true," he muttered.
Lily smiled sympathetically. "James, you need to stop beating yourself up."
"Is that your way of saying you're tired of talking about this?"
Lily laughed. "I will always be here to listen to you vent. I just think that I'm not the one you should be venting to."
"Well, you're all I've got at the moment," James said with a curt shrug. "Because I'm pretty sure I would be hexed into a million pieces if I tried approaching Sirius or Riley at the present time. And I'd prefer not to be hexed if I can at all avoid it."
She chuckled lightheartedly. "It'll all work out in the end," Lily murmured, kissing him on the top of his head lightly. "Just give it some time."
James nodded. "Thank you for being so wonderful."
Lily laughed. "Well, that just comes naturally."
James glanced up towards her with an amused light laugh. He squeezed her hand and gestured for her to kiss him. She complied. "Did you know that Riley was seeing Rhett?"
Lily lifted her eyebrow, confused and curious. "Like seeing seeing Rhett?"
"Well, it could have been a make-out session to make Sirius jealous, but they were definitely getting into it."
"Hm. Interesting," Lily murmured. "Sirius can't like this."
"Why should it matter to him?" James snorted. "He did the same thing with Rachael."
Lily nodded hesitantly. "Yeah," she muttered. "I guess."
James sighed, resting his head against Lily's shoulder.
"Can I ask you something?"
He nodded, stifling a yawn.
"What do you want to do for your birthday?" she asked cautiously. It was the first time his birthday was mentioned even though it was coming up in four days. The fact that he wasn't speaking to his two best friends may have something to do with that.
He shrugged awkwardly. "Honestly? I have no idea. I just have a feeling it's going to be somewhat of a letdown," James murmured, trailing his thumb over the back of her hand soothingly.
Lily winked at him. "I'm sure we'll find a way to make it fun," she whispered suggestively.
"Ooh, just what I like to hear," James whispered back, kissing the back of her hand and running his lips up her arm. Lily leaned down and kissed him.
James smiled. "I don't know how you do it, but you make me forget all of that drama going on in my life."
"I think it's my distracting beauty," she teased.
He laughed. "Well, that's definitely a big part of it." He grinned and kissed her again.
Riley really enjoyed hanging out with Rhett. Granted, their Advanced Transfiguration project essentially got nowhere because most of their time was spent joking around and snogging. But who wanted to do work when you could snog anyway?
They were walking back after hanging out in the library the next night, where, again, they got no work done due to them chatting nonstop with the occasional snog fest. It didn't help that they were often interrupted by students' whispering and pointing towards them in surprise. No one expected Riley and Rhett to get together after what they had heard on Friday.
"Did you see the look on Daniella Skeeter's face the first time you leaned over and kissed me?" Riley giggled. "I thought she was going to have a heart attack!"
Rhett laughed and gripped Riley's hand. "Me, too. She started scribbling furiously on that stupid pad of her and I just wonder how long it's going to be before the whole school knows about us."
"Well, she left the library about an hour ago, so there's a good chance the whole school already knows."
Rhett nodded. "Oh well. We knew this was going to happen. People certainly like to talk about you," he teased.
"What can I say? I'm a popular girl," she laughed, winking playfully at him. "But you know what? I don't care what people think. I'm just glad I have you."
Rhett leaned down and kissed her. "And I'm glad we were given this second chance."
Riley smiled and nodded. "Me, too."
They turned the corner and ran smack into two bodies, all four of them stumbling to the ground.
"Oh sorry!" Riley muttered as she brushed herself off and stood up. She glanced up and her eyes narrowed out of habit. "No, actually I'm not sorry."
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Miss Riley Gilmore," Zach Hamilton smirked.
"Shove off, Hamilton," she snapped, helping Rhett off the ground. She glanced towards the girl slowly climbing off the floor and she gasped inwardly. "Oh. Kristina. Hi."
"Hey, Riley," she greeted uncomfortably, knowing the past history between Riley and Zach.
Rhett glanced at the look on Riley's face and knew something was off. "Er…hey, guys," he said to break the tension. "How are you?"
"We're good," Zach answered smugly, throwing his arm around Kristina's shoulders.
Riley glared at him. "Since when did you guys start dating?"
"Since a while ago," he replied with a casual shrug. "Didn't James or Lily tell you?"
Kristina cringed. "Okay, it's time to go."
Riley's mouth hung open. She was shocked that James or Lily never mentioned it to her.
"Yes, I agree," Rhett murmured, dragging Riley away from them before any more damage could be done.
"Later!" Zach cried out snidely before heading in the opposite direction with Kristina.
"Good Godric, I hate that jackass," Riley vented once they were out of earshot.
"Yes, that was obvious," Rhett said with a smirk. "Why do you hate him?"
"He and I used to date," Riley murmured with a sigh. "It didn't end well."
"I can see that. Why do you care if he's with Kristina?"
"I don't. I'm just surprised Lily and James didn't tell me. That's something I thought they would have told me."
"Maybe it slipped their minds with everything going on lately," Rhett suggested.
Riley nodded, still unconvinced. "Yeah…"
"Well, I'm heading this way," Rhett said when they hit the end of the hallway where they were to split in different directions. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
Riley nodded and tilted her head up, gesturing for him to kiss her. He smiled and followed her request, kissing her bottom lip lightly and then deepening the intensity, running his fingers through her hair soothingly.
They pulled apart and said their goodbyes.
Riley rushed towards Lily's private quarters. She muttered the password and let herself in. Lily was sitting on the couch in her small common room and looked up when the door opened, surprised to see Riley there. She clearly expected it to be James. "Hey, Ril-"
"Why the hell didn't you tell me Kristina and Zach were together?"
Lily was thrown back by Riley's tirade. "Er…why does it matter? He's been your ex for a long time now."
"Kristina can do so much better."
"So? That's her choice. And since when did you care about Kristina?"
"I always liked Kristina," she defended, taking a seat beside Lily on the couch.
Lily snorted. "No actually I remember you making fun of her behind her back."
"So not the point," Riley whimpered.
"No, that kinda is the point," Lily snickered, placing her quill down on her notebook. "Zach is a prat and she'll realize it sooner or later. I don't think it's our place to get involved in her love life. Especially since it's been over two months since she's been with James. She's not attached in any way to our friends anymore so why should we warn her?"
"I never said we should warn her," she muttered. "I just think we should...oh hell, I don't know. I just hate the guy!" She pounded her fist against the armrest of the couch with a groan.
"I know," Lily sympathized. "Riley, you're upset because on top of everything that's been going on, he's yet another ex you feel like you're having to deal with." She didn't bother adding that running into Zach was a reminder of how screwed up Riley's relationships have always been.
Riley opened her mouth to protest but realized she was right. Zach was the last thing she wanted to be dealing with on top of losing Sirius and losing James. "Oh, hell, you're right. My life is far too complicated right now."
"It'll get better," Lily promised, patting her on the leg. "Give it a few days."
"Try a few months," Riley murmured.
"Well," Lily said slowly. "You have Rhett, right?"
Riley smiled, glancing up at Lily. "Yeah," she said softly.
"And exactly how did you two get together?" she asked curiously.
Riley's smile wavered. "I don't know. It just happened."
Lily nodded, but there was hesitation in her eyes.
"What?"
Lily's eyebrow quirked. "I didn't say anything."
"But you wanted to."
Lily grinned sheepishly. "I just...do you really think it's wise to jump into a relationship so quickly after-"
"Sirius and I are over," Riley interrupted stubbornly. "So over. Rhett and I never had our chance to be together. But that chance has come up again. I don't want to let it slip through my fingers yet again."
Lily nodded slowly. She had a feeling that Riley was merely deflecting her frustration with Sirius on to feigned happiness with Rhett. She wasn't so sure it could end well but she wasn't about to tell Riley that. "So," Lily said slowly. "Right around the time you stopped dating Rhett, you started dating Sirius. Would I be pointing out the obvious if I said they perhaps were interrelated?"
"Point away," Riley said with a shrug. "The two were indeed connected."
Lily gazed at her in hopes of more information but Riley left it at that. "Seriously? You're not going to give me more detail?" she teased.
Riley shrugged again. "It's...it's all in the past," she muttered. "My focus is now. With Rhett."
"It's never all in the past, Riley," Lily said softly.
Rily blinked. "It has to be, Lily," she murmured desperately. "I-I just want to be happy."
Lily smiled. "Well, I guess that I can understand."
Riley opened her mouth to thank her but the door opened up to reveal James.
"That's my cue to leave," Riley muttered, shooting James a glare. She quickly jumped up from the couch and sped out of the room, shoving into him as she headed out the door.
"Oh, I didn't make her leave, did I?" James said sarcastically, watching her rush down the hallway.
"She found out about Zach and Kristina," Lily stated.
James shut the door and looked at Lily inquiringly. "And?"
"She was a little taken aback but nothing too extreme," she explained with a shrug. "She's just realized how complicated her life really is."
James sighed and plopped on to the couch beside his girlfriend. "Join the club. I'm just thankful I have you."
Lily shut her books and placed them on the coffee table in front of her. "And I am so thankful I'm not Sirius and Riley right now."
James smiled, placing his head in Lily's lap with a sigh. "Please promise me that we will never end up like them."
Lily shook her head defiantly, as she ran his fingers through his smooth hair. "Believe me, we won't. Because unlike them, you and I are able to do the whole committed relationship thing."
James gasped. "Wait, commitment?" he said dramatically. "No one said anything about commitment!"
Lily laughed and kissed his lips lightly. "I'm pretty sure by dumping Kristina and choosing me, we are officially in a committed relationship."
"So…this is my fault?"
Lily slapped him playfully. "This isn't a blame thing!"
James laughed and reached for her hand, kissing it slowly and traveling his lips up her arm. "Yeah, alright. I guess I can do commitment."
"Oh, gee, you sound so excited at that thought."
James laughed and turned over, placing his hand warmly on her thigh. "I know what can get me excited."
Lily lifted an eyebrow. "Oh, so that's all I am to you? A piece of meat?"
"Well, yeah. Did you expect anything else?"
"Nah. I guess I can get what I want from Sirius. I hear he's semi-single."
James gasped loudly, bringing his hand to his mouth in an overly dramatic way. "Ouch. Way to emasculate your boyfriend."
Lily laughed, grinning suggestively at him. "I think I can fix that." She winked playfully at him before getting up off the couch and motioning him towards his bedroom.
James' eyes lit up as he quickly jumped up off the couch, following his girlfriend quickly into his bed. "I am loving this committed relationship thing."
A/N: Not a whole lot to add. Just review pleeeease!