Once the introductions were made and pleasantries exchanged Naomi was fairly certain that Freya Giordano's exotic dark looks came from her Italian roots. She was also certain that the taller girl was way out of her league. She could imagine Freya and Emily as a cute power couple, planning their perfect wedding and their perfect adopted kids. Except Emily hadn't wanted any of that. She had chosen Naomi instead. As reassuring as that thought was there was still the niggling doubt in her head that asked her whether she was sure Emily wanted to be with her. Things would be different once Emily was back home.

Naomi was at least glad to see she wasn't the only one warily eyeing Freya. Effy silently sat on the sofa, watching the other girl in her usual mysterious Effy way. "What are you doing here?" Katie quizzed once she had checked neither of her parents were hovering around downstairs. "I thought we'd be meeting at the church?"
"Your mum phoned me up last week. She said she wanted me to go to the church with your family. We had a really good chat. She's been there for me this week." Her words were an obvious dig at Katie who had fled to Bristol and brushed off the other girl's requests for company.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." Katie's usual confidence seemed to have disappeared as she meekly apologised to her sister's fiancée. "I just had to get away." Freya shrugged it off and pulled her in for another hug.
"You're back now. That's all that matters."

The time eventually came for them to go to the service as a black limousine pulled up outside. Jenna ushered them all out of the door with the authority of a mother used to things running to schedule. Naomi felt out of place in the limo with the Fitch family. She was certain Effy felt it too, though she hid it well, her expression was unreadable as usual. Katie sat beside her, her arms resting on her lap. She looked strained as she sat rigid, as though she didn't want to accidentally touch Effy in case it gave away her secret.

The church they pulled up at was quite large and from the amount of cars parked outside it looked like it would be quite full. Naomi and Effy went in ahead as the Fitches greeted the friends and family gathered outside. Katie had instructed them to look out for a curly haired boy in the third row and to sit beside him. Naomi recognised the boy from when she had looked at Emily's Facebook page. JJ looked nothing like the smiling boy in the photo. His head was down, staring at his hands as he mumbled something to himself. He jumped slightly as Naomi took a seat beside him. "Those seats are reserved."
"There for us I think." Naomi managed what she hoped was a warm smile. "I'm Naomi and this is Effy. We're Katie's friends."
"Oh, oh right." He shuffled along to let the two girls sit down. "I'm Jeremiah Jones. JJ for short. I'm Emily's best friend. Or I was. Emily's dead." He hung his head again as he fidgeted with his hands. He was obviously as uncomfortable as Naomi felt. At least he had a right to be there. The blonde should never have agreed to go. She knew Katie had only insisted she come to make her feel guilty; and it was definitely working. There were easily a hundred people in the church and all of them were mourning the loss of Emily Fitch.

When the doors to the church opened again Jenna and Rob walked in accompanied by the vicar. James, Katie and Freya followed them in. Freya's arm was linked through Katie's as they slowly made their way to the front pew. The service kicked off as the vicar stood at the front of the church by a large framed photograph of Emily. It was a black and white shot from her graduation. He spoke briefly about Emily's life, graduating university top of her class, the marathons she had ran raising money for charity and how much she had touched the lives of everyone she knew. After that they sang a hymn and James stepped up to the front. His shirt was hanging out at the back and he was clenching a scrunched up piece of paper as he nervously stood at the front. He cleared his throat before unfolding the paper and reading the poem he had chosen. His voice was strained and cracked in places as he spoke, whether from grief or the perils of being a teenage boy Naomi couldn't be sure.

"You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on."

The teenager wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket as he finished reading. Rob stood up and ushered him back to his seat, patting him on his back for a job well done. The priest led them all in another hymn before Freya stood up at the front. "Many of you know me, for those who don't, I am…was…Emily's fiancée. When Jenna asked me to speak today, I didn't have a clue what I was going to say…I still don't really. We were going to get married next spring, and we were going to start a family…but somebody stole that away from us. Someone stole Emily from all of us. And though we can't lay her to rest today, we can celebrate her life; and hope that one day the monsters who took her will get what they deserve. Thank you."

Freya stepped down and took her seat beside Katie. She buried her head in her shoulder as the smaller girl wrapped her arms around her. Naomi felt a lump forming in her throat. She needed to get out of the church. She needed to get the hell out of London and back to Emily. Mercifully the service finished shortly afterwards and Naomi was able to follow Effy outside to have a smoke while Katie and her family finished talking to the guests.

"Fucking hell." The blonde sighed as she slumped against the wall at the back of the church. "I did this Eff. I caused all these people this fucking misery-"
"You saved Emily's life." Effy interrupted sternly. "You didn't have to do anything Naomi. You and Cook could have just walked away. You saved her life."
"I could have done more." Naomi grumbled. "I should have gone to the police. Emily should be here, with her family."
"And Freya?" Effy cocked her brow towards the moping blonde. "That's what this is about. You've seen the girlfriend and freaked yourself the fuck out. Seriously Naomi, I wouldn't worry." Before the other girl could ask what the hell Effy was talking about Katie rounded the corner.

She took Effy's cigarette from her mouth and took a long draw. "You don't smoke." Effy pointed out helpfully as the smaller girl started hacking and coughing.
"I fucking need it ok?" She grumbled as she took another draw and leant back against Effy. The taller girl said nothing more as she wrapped her arms around Katie's waist. "The wake is at Emily and Freya's. We go for a few hours and get the fuck out of there." Katie stubbed out the cigarette and tossed it before pulling away from Effy. "I can't wait till this is all over." For once Naomi agreed with the eldest twin.

They ended up going to Freya's in a taxi with James, after Katie promised her mother they would keep an eye on him. The wake was a smaller affair than the funeral, with only twenty or so people going back to the house Freya and Emily shared. The house was what Naomi had been expecting; a modest two bedroom with a neatly kept front garden and two cars on the drive. Katie didn't bother to knock as they got to the front door; instead she pulled out her keys and slipped one of them in to the lock. Once they were inside Katie was instantly playing the part of the good hostess, helping Freya to hand out drinks and socialising with the people who had come to pay their respects to her sister. Once again Effy and Naomi were cast off to one side, left to entertain themselves. Though watching James trying to sneak drinks was amusing. Katie kept catching him and slapping him around the ear. Naomi winked at him as she left her almost full glass on the floor behind her chair and went off in search of the bathroom.

"Thanks for today Katie. I don't think I could have got through it without you." Naomi paused at the top of the stairs as she heard Freya's voice coming from the down the hall. Something in her tone made the blonde stop in her tracks. "I've missed you."
"Sorry. I just had to get away this week." She heard Katie reply, her voice strained.
"I don't just mean this week. I've missed you Kay."
"Don't!" Katie's voice sounded closer, as though she'd walked away from the other girl and further up the hall. Naomi shrunk back, taking a step back down the stairs to keep out of sight. "Don't you dare! This is my fucking sister's funeral!"
"And all I can think about is how it could have been yours!" Freya argued back. Her wrist clamped around Katie's arm, stopping her from running away. "You were both there that night! It could have just as easily been you Katie. The woman I'm supposed to marry is dead…and all I've thought since Emily went missing is thank God it wasn't you!" There were tears streaming down her cheeks as Freya leant her forehead against the smaller girl's and her arms wrapped around her waist. "That probably makes me a horrible fucking person, but it's true. I couldn't lose you Kay, I just couldn't."

Naomi jumped as she heard the living room door open and the bottom stair creaking, she had no choice but to climb the last couple of stairs up to the landing where Katie and Freya were standing. The two girls jumped apart. Katie looked as white as a sheet after being caught kissing her supposedly dead twin's fiancée. Ignoring Freya's please she stormed off downstairs, shoving past Naomi on the way. Freya watched her go before turning her attention to Naomi. "You probably think I'm a bitch-" She tried to justify herself to the total stranger standing in her house.
"None of my business." She held her hands up in mock surrender to emphasise her point. Except it was her business. It looked like the seemingly perfect, family orientated, Freya had been cheating on Emily with her sister. The blonde left the other woman and rushed back downstairs to find Katie. She didn't have to look far. The smaller girl was waiting at the bottom of the stairs for her and dragged her outside in to the garden.

"You can't fucking tell Emily what you just saw!" Katie's tone was sharp and threatening, yet her eyes were wide with fear.
"And why shouldn't I?" Naomi snapped back, her arms folded across her chest as she stared smugly down at the smaller girl.
"The same reason I won't go running to the nearest police station to drop you in it…it would hurt Emily. And neither of us wants that." Naomi rolled her eyes at the other girl's feeble attempts to silence her.
"Pity you weren't thinking about Emily's feelings before you fucked her girlfriend-"
"She was mine first, okay!" Katie finally snapped, the pressure of keeping so many secrets finally overwhelming her. "Freya was mine first! Emily stole her from me!" With that little outburst Katie seemed to deflate. Her anger had completely left her, with guilt and shame quickly replacing it. She slumped down on to the garden wall and held her head in her hands. "I'll tell you everything okay? Just please, please don't tell Emily."
"I'm listening." Naomi took a seat beside her and waited for the explanation Katie had promised.

Katie let out a long heavy sigh before she started talking again. It was clear she was not used to talking out loud about what had happened between her and Freya, but once she started the words spilled freely from her mouth. A part of her was relieved at finally being able to tell her story. "We met in a club when I was on a date with this right dickhead; she got me away from him and bought me a drink. We danced, we drank, we talked, and it was a good night. Then she kissed me. I freaked out; Emily was supposed to be the gay one, not me. She called me the next day to apologise, asked if we could meet for a coffee. We started meeting up; going out for lunch, shopping, nights out, that kind of thing. We'd kissed a few more times. I just brushed it off. I was drunk, no big fucking deal right?" If Naomi hadn't already known the question was rhetorical she would have picked up on it from the pain written across the other girl's expression. It was evident that Freya had eventually come to mean a hell of a lot more to her than a few drunken kisses. The blonde didn't even know the full story and yet her heart was already aching for the other girl. She wasn't sure she could imagine coping with watching someone she loved being with somebody else day in day out, and having to be part of their lives.

"One night we stayed in for dinner, her parents were away so we had the place to ourselves…we got drunk and we fucked. After that it just kept happening. We never talked about going out, it just sort of happened. Emily spent her summer in Kenya, building a well or some shit, and I spent mine with Freya. She was going to uni at the end of September though…she asked me to go with her. Tell my parents, get a place, find a job…I couldn't do it. I couldn't let people find out I was in love with a girl. So I ran away and she went to uni-"
"Emily's uni." Naomi was able to put two and two together for herself. "And Emily doesn't know about any of this?" Katie shook her head. Freya had met Emily in a club and had thought it was Katie. Without waiting for any sort of acknowledgement she had kissed the youngest twin and Emily had instantly been smitten with the gorgeous stranger. She had tried to talk about her new girlfriend to her twin, but Katie had been too preoccupied with her own love life to concentrate on Emily's. That was until Emily returned home with Freya for the Christmas holidays. Katie had felt like curling up and dying where she stood when she had come face to face with Emily's girlfriend.

She'd pushed aside her self-pity though and gone for anger instead. The second she'd been able to get Freya on her own she'd started screaming at her, accusing her of trying to fuck with her head and using Emily to do it. The other girl had insisted she hadn't meant to get involved with Katie's twin, it had been an accident and she'd tried to stop things going further, but somehow she had fallen for Emily. Her words might have been more sincere if they hadn't been followed by the declaration that she would always love Katie more. The oldest twin's defences had crumbled then and in a moment of weakness she had given in to her desires. She had betrayed her sister in an unimaginable way. "The first time I saw her again was when they came home for Christmas. We fucked." Katie's expression had hardened again as she finally spat out the secret that had been weighing on her conscience for years. "It only happened once."

The sympathy Naomi had been feeling slipped away, once again replaced by red hot anger. Katie had been a victim in it all until she had chosen to sleep with Freya when she was seeing her twin. That had been a conscious choice. "I get it now." Naomi laughed bitterly as she shook her head. "That's why you hate the idea of Emily wanting me, because Freya chose Emily over you, and now Emily's throwing her away to be with me. It fucking kills you being second choice doesn't it?"
"I wasn't fucking second choice!" Katie spat, her own temper flaring up once again. "I told Freya it couldn't happen again! I couldn't do that to Emily, ok? I could have clicked my fucking fingers at any time and Freya would have left Ems for me!"
"Interesting."

Katie's face fell as Effy's even voice spoke up behind her. She turned to find the other girl standing by the front door. Her expression was neutral as usual, but there was something smouldering in her gaze. "I thought there was something with you two. I guess now I know."

Disclaimer: The poem spoken at the memorial service is 'She is Gone' by David Harkins.