It's funny how your heart can sometime freeze up on you, and for a moment you're sure it isn't beating. It doesn't really stop, because if it did, that would mean you had died, but it feels very much like it did. Something literally scares to death, for a few seconds at least.
In my initial shock I sat bolt upright on the bedroll. Then there was another shriek, that pierced into my ears. My eyes grinded shut at the intenseness of the sound and I bowed my head lower to my lap and covered my ears again. "Black Riders!" Sam shouted, getting up in a panic.
I could hardly hear him through the sound and hands pressed flat against my head. When the noise ceased for a short while, and my ears stopped ringing, I scrambled up to my knees and stuffed the bedroll into my bag, cramming it in without rolling it up. "Sam!" I called to capture the attention of the hobbit. "Put out the fire…now!"
Sam stamped out the embers with his feet, as I grabbed every little thing we had unpacked from the ground and stuffed it far, far down into my now nearly bursting bag. "Be brave…" I whispered to myself. "Mahal Fali, be brave." My heart had started beating again, now twice as fast as normal. Every bit of instinct I had was screaming to run and hide, and then my head was reminding myself with urgency that we could not afford to leave any of our supplies behind.
There was yet another screech and this caused me to jump up to my feet, nearly clutching at my chest. My gaze swept over the landscape, but now the mist was not my friend, and hid the enemy from me. Now I felt lost in it, and every shadow seemed like a rider in black. "Where are they?" I spun around. "Where are they coming from?"
Another screech, and the answer became clear. "Sam, they are in the sky!" I exclaimed.
"How?!" He demanded, slinging the other two bags we had with us onto his back.
"We will worry over that later." I said, in a rush. "Frodo?!" I called for my friend, but he gave no answer. "Frodo?!" I tried again, but with no effect. "Where is he? Where is Frodo?" I asked Sam.
Sam frowned as he responded. "He's gone off with that no good Gollum character."
Gollum, I could nearly groan at how well I thought he would be in this mess. "C'mon, we have to hurry and get them both." I pulled on Sam's shoulder. Gollum was shrieking in panic himself, and likely drawing the riders in our direction. If I were any closer I would have wrung his neck for such foolish behaviour. "Gods be willing that thing can keep himself quiet when we hide, or I'll toss him out to those Wraiths like a sacrificial lamb." I bit out through my teeth.
"Hide!" Gollum waved his arms wildly at us. "Hide, we must hide!"
Well, at least he was smart enough to think rationally in this situation…
Frodo was kneeling very close to the ground, clutching at his shoulder in pain.
"Sam!" I said, and the hobbit went to go and rescue his companion. I was quickly scanning the area for shelter of some kind, somewhere where any view from the air would not reveal us.
Be brave…be brave…
I tried to even my breathing. There was nothing but open little patches of land and marsh water, which I certainly did feel comfortable diving into to submerge our heads in effort to hide.
What were we to do? There were no trees to duck under.
Be brave…and breathe…and be brave…
My eyes finally landed upon a low lying bush, looking a bit scraggly, but dense enough to hide yourself from the sky. "There!" I pointed. "Over there, quickly now, quickly." I darted over Sam and Frodo, as Frodo was raised up to his feet, getting a bit more steady.
"Frodo?" He was still grasping his shoulder, and I could now see that his hand was directly over the spot where he had been stabbed by a the Wraith's blade when we were on our way to Rivendell. "Your shoulder…" I answered for him. "Do not worry it will pass." I did not know if it would but I had hopes. "Help me with him, Sam." We both took an arm and guided him over to the bush and the three of us dove under it, tucking ourselves and three bags under the branches securely. Gollum followed at our heels, curling himself close to the thick stem of the shrub.
"I thought they were dead." Sam whispered beside me.
"Dead? No you cannot kill them, no." Gollum corrected the hobbit. A Wraith screamed again, and Gollum reduced himself farther into the ground. "Wraiths!" He almost whimpered. "Wraith on wings!"
"Wings?" I said, quietly, and dared to lift my head just enough to look out over the sky. A black, winged serpent dove across the sky, some equally dark figure on it's back. "A dragon?" I breathed. "Sam, Frodo…they're sitting on the backs of dragons." I could not believe my eyes. I had thought all the serpents of the sky had been cast away or killed long ago, the last one, Smaug, being defeated long ago when my parents were young.
They are calling for It. They are calling for the precious." Gollum warned. Sam and I both looked to Frodo, who's hand was nervously coming closer to the chain around his neck. Sam grabbed hold of one hand and I the other.
"It's alright." Sam tried to comfort him, though his voice was shaky with fear of his own.
"Don't worry, Frodo." I swallowed hard, forcing my voice to be steady.
Be brave, Fali. You have two hobbits that need someone to be brave.
"They won't come near us." I promised, as I watched them turn away. "They can't see us, hidden under here. We've not left anything laying around for them to see." I managed a tiny smile. "Besides, we our clothes being as ruffled and dirtied as they are, I think we're being to match the color of the swamp anyway." I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "Look." I nodded to the sky and the little black dots in it that were becoming smaller. "They're leaving now. I told you they would not come near."
We all let out a collectively held breath. "Hurry, hobbits." Gollum cautiously got out of our hiding place. "The Black Gate is very close."
It was, only a half day's journey, which was passed in near silence as we resettled ourselves from the appearance of the Wraiths. The swamp ended, and let into a sharp inclined forest, that eventually thinned to bare rock, and then stopped to descend into lowland, bordered by a tall, black gate. I stared at it, as Gollum went on about how he had done as we asked.
Mordor.
We were so close to it now.
Be brave…be brave…I watched as an army of Men approached, marching in unison. I slunk farther behind the rocks.
"Fali?"
"Hmm?" I snapped out of my mind. "Yes, Frodo?"
"Are you alright?"
"Just prepared for what is to come." I said. "Don't worry about me, friend, I will be fine."
"Look!" Sam caught our attention. "The gate, it's opening!" He leaned forward. "I can see a way down."
I was about to argue that this way was not the most stealthy, when Sam suddenly dropped out of view. There was a surprised yell from him, and then I watched in horror and my friend rolled down the steep, rocky hill, to get stuck in all the shale.
"Sam!" Frodo took off after him without a single thought.
"Frodo, wait!" I tried to grab his sleeve but missed. I charged after the hobbit. Frodo was practically sliding down the hill himself as he managed to stop beside Sam. I skidded around, stirring up dust, and then caught myself behind a boulder. I prepared to make the rest of the journey to them, when I saw a pair of soldiers approaching, and had to quickly duck back behind the rock.
"We must help Master." Gollum followed me, ducking behind the rock as well.
"Shhh!" I hushed him. "We can't move…we can't be seen."
I turned my head around, and was confused to see the hobbits had vanished. "What?" I breathed. "Where are they?" The warriors must have been wondering such too, as they glanced around. I hid myself again from their eyes. What to do? What to do?
Thinking quickly, I picked up a large stone from the ground and tossed it out into the open. The same had worked with the Wraiths before. It set off a small slide of rocks and dust, seeming to have happened on its own. I crouched as low to the ground as I could. When it was safe enough I glanced over again, to see them walking back. Within the blink of an eye, a rock transformed into two hobbits.
I ran toward them, tripping nearly and colliding into them, embracing both of them tightly. "What do you two think you are doing?" I asked. "Have you both gone mad?"
"The gate is closing." Frodo remarked, and our attention snapped to the entrance to Mordor.
Be brave…
"We'll have to run." I noted, and we prepared to do so.
"Now!" Frodo gave the order and we all prepared to rush forward only to be wrenched back by our collars.
"No! No! No Master! They'd catch you! Don't take it to Him." Gollum held us back.
"Let go, you have already done your share." I replied, struggling free of his hold.
We ignored Gollum's argument and made to run again, only to have him hold us back more forcefully. "No! There is another way." Gollum said earnestly. "A more secret, and dark way."
"Why haven't you spoken of this before?!" Sam demanded.
"Aye!" I snapped. "Why did you hide this from us?"
"Because Master did not ask.' Gollum turned to Frodo.
"He's up to something…" Sam warned, eying Gollum suspiciously.
"Are you saying there is another way into Mordor?" Frodo asked Gollum seriously.
"Yes. There are stairs, and a path, and a tunnel." Gollum went on, looking quite pitiful.
Pity worked in his favor. Frodo looked at us.
"Mister Frodo, we can't!" Sam argued.
"He has been true to his word, and has led us this far." Frodo said. He looked at me. "Fali?"
I stared at the now-closed Black Gate. "There's no way to get safely through now." I muttered. "We have to take his word for it."
Sam looked at us in disbelief, to which I gave him an apologetic stare.
"Lead the way." Frodo said to Gollum.
/
The other way into Mordor came as partly a relief, and partly as a concern. Now we had a bit more time, time to rest, time to prepare ourselves for Mordor and the evil that lay waiting for us in there. Much as I wanted this quest be over as quickly as it could be, I knew none of us were mentally ready to go charging into the gates, like we had tried. That had been a moment of sheer bravado, for we thought we had no other way inside. Now we had time.
And yet time was our enemy too. That only meant more days sleeping out in the open, more days in which our supply of lembas bread would continue to diminish if we could not find good hunting, and more days in which Frodo would have to wear the Ring around his neck.
"And then up stairs…up, up, up…and through the tunnel we goes…" Gollum spoke to himself, creeping along the path, just a little bit ahead of me.
I sighed. More time before reaching Mordor also meant more days spent with Gollum.
"I can't take much more of his chattering…" Sam said to Frodo. "You don't suppose that if you asked him….seeing as he's so fond of you, Mister Frodo…that he might hush up for a bit?"
"I don't think he even realises he is speaking sometimes." Frodo said, apologetically. "You will grow used to the sound of him soon enough Sam. Besides, we have greater concerns than what Gollum mutters under his breath."
"I suppose you're right." He nodded. "Say, Miss Fali?" He called out to me.
"Yes, Samwise?"
"Do you think you'll be able to find something to hunt down in a place like this?" He asked, a hopeful note in his voice.
"It looks much more promising than the swamp did." I nodded. "Rest assured Sam, something will be found for you to use that seasoning you brought along." I quickly scanned the ground. Disturbed foliage, little bird prints in the dirt, a good amount of trees. There would be something to hunt down here, and help me hold up my word.
That evening I set to making those words a reality. I look up the two lengths of rope we had, my own, and Sam's elvish gift, and tied up snares in the middle of the thicket. "Please let them catch something." I said, wishfully. I wanted something other lembas for a change, the wafers were starting to taste bland after eating them for so many meals. I took up my position a fair distance from the snares and waited in another nearby thicket. I removed the elvish dagger I had taken along with me since Rivendell, and toyed with the smaller weapon in my hands, twisting the hilt in my grip and tossing it into the air to catch it safely again. A twisted up old tree with a large knot in it's trunk caught my attention and I took aim for the center of the knot, taking a ready stance and running the dagger through the air in a series of short jabs before throwing it in that direction. The knife flew and embedded itself a few inches below the knot.
Undeterred, I went to rescue the blade from the wood of the tree, return myself to the distance I was before, and try the exercise again. The second attempt it was too high to hit it's target. Then too low again, then it hit another tree altogether as my frustration got the best of me. I went to go and pull the dagger out of the tree for one more go at it, when I heard some twig snap from close by and I spun around.
I swallowed, took in a large breath to calm my nerves, and then pulled the dagger free, to hold in one hand as I removed my sword from my belt with the other. I approached the noise I had heard, ears straining to pick up anything else. Perhaps it had only been an animal, in which case, I should not go any further or I would scare it away from the traps I had set. I took on step back, when there was another light, almost inaudible snap, and I froze. Had that been my boot that caused the noise? It had not felt as though I stepped on anything.
I stayed still, and then heard the softest sound of a groundling. I grinned. Not quite roast chicken, but roast meat none the less. The little burrowing creature nosed it's way along the forest floor, climbing over tree roots, and not too far away from the snare. I hoped it smelt the lembas crumbs I had laid under it.
The groundling's nose twitched and it stood up on it's hind legs, looking about itself, as though it was suspecting a danger.
I saw the flash of blue eyes, just as the animal turned around and made to run away.
Gollum came bursting out of the bushes, snarling loudly, and looking just as frightening as he had been the night we found him. The groundling ran for it's life, as it was pursued by Gollum. He chased the poor thing twice around the tree where it's burrow must have been and then the thing darted away and was caught up in my snare, where it's fright was ended at last. I remained frozen where I stood throughout the whole ordeal. Gollum pounced upon the snare and the groundling, where upon he began to tear ravenously at the rope and the animal with his teeth, like a wild animal would.
It was here I snapped back to myself, mainly because that was my rope, and I could not have him chewing through it. "No!" I yelled at Gollum. "Stop that!"
He did not hear me, and if he had heard me he ignored me, quite blatantly. I charged forward, now wearing a stern expression. "Let go of that!" I snapped, forgetting that Gollum was acting more creature than human at the moment. He looked up at me, almost surprised. Then he snarled, baring his sparse fangs at me.
Not taking any of it, I pointed my sword at him. "I…said…to…let…go." I said, my tone slow and like steel.
We glared at each other, my gaze fiery, and his with icy blue eyes, where the pupils were like mere pin pricks in all the color. "Drop it." I demanded again. "That is not for you, that is for all of us." He did not budge, and I added "It's for Frodo too, your Master, remember?" Hopefully bringing up his pet name for Frodo would have some effect.
He dropped the groundling, now a bit more disheveled than it had been before. He looked up at me, wondering if I would still take it. I watched his face as he watched me. Oddly, despite the light not changing, his pupils dilated back their normal size. I ducked down and grabbed the animal, untying the rope from it's neck.
"Hopefully it's still fit to eat." I sighed, inspecting the ragged shoulder of the prey. Gollum had bitten into the creature's throat, but luckily the rest of it seemed intact and unspoiled by his rotten teeth.
"Rude it is, taking the food right from our mouth." Gollum turned mopey.
"It landed in my snare." I argued back. "Therefore it's mine. We need meat anyhow…and it won't do for you to eat it raw."
"Yes it would."
"No, it wouldn't."
"What does it know?" Gollum shrugged and turned away from me, like a child. "Nothing." He answered himself.
"Fine, grumble all you like." I said. "Go off and chase more of them down if you want, just keep away from the snares." I bent low to set up another trap with the freed rope. This time I did not venture off to another thicket, but strayed to edge of the one where I stood, and began my practise of dagger throwing again. Gollum lingered about for a moment, before heeding my advice and going off to other dens and hollows to seek out a meal of his own. I could hear him crawling through the undergrowth, in circles all around me. It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, as I tossed around the dagger more. I had been so much better at this as a child, when Kien and Tauris, my half-elf cousins were there to teach me.
It took a few more minutes and a few more throws before I started to become more accurate. Perhaps the bit of nervous adrenaline Gollum's presence put in me was helping. I lined up the knife and my target for yet another go at it, when I caught Gollum looking at me from the undergrowth a few feet away, his only give-away the brightness of his eyes. I startled at the sight of him and his gaze, feeling oddly like I had taken the place of the groundling now, and he was trying to hunt me down. It sent rather unpleasant chills down my back, and I understood why Sam hated the creature so much. Perhaps this is what it felt like to be around Gollum for him, and if that was the case, I could not blame him for his intense dislike of our guide.
"Oi!" I snapped back. "Get out of there." He crawled out, approaching slowly, like a lost dog approaches a stranger. "What are you trying to do? Frighten me?" I glared a little bit. "It won't work." I added, wondering if that was entirely a lie.
"Frighten it?" Gollum looked up at me. "No."
"Then what do you mean by sneaking around me in circles and watching me practise?"
"Is it frightened?"
"Answer my question."
"Is it scared?" Gollum took a step forward, getting too close for my liking. I pointed the dagger at him.
"I am not frightened of you." I said, believing myself a little more. Boromir would laugh at me for fearing something that was smaller than me and unarmed. "I know how to protect myself from things far worse than you." I advanced on him a little and he retreated back a few steps. This relaxed me, it was good to see that I held some power in this stand-off.
"So many knives…" Gollum muttered, in a criticizing tone.
"Now, go run off and hunt somewhere else like you were supposed to." I said. "Or both of us won't catch anything."
"Smeagol has already eaten." He shrugged, and left me, no longer interested in pushing me around.
"Who?" I asked, unfamiliar with the name.
"Smeagol."
"Yes, but who is that?"
"Gollum."
"What?"
"Smeagol is Smeagol, Gollum is Gollum and both are Smeagol and Gollum." He spoke in pure riddles.
"I don't understand." I sighed, giving up trying to make sense of him.
"What does it know?" Gollum shrugged again in farewell. "Nothing."