Thanks for all the support with this story! I have a tumblr if anyone wants to ask me stuff on there on anon about the story :)
I sit naked with my knife in my hand yet at the sight before me. Water and blood cover me and the sight before me paralyzes me.
The assailant has taken his last breaths. I watched the life go out of him. There was no saving him, not with all the wounds I inflicted. His blood seeps out all over the grey wet tile beneath him.
I can't move. I'm probably in shock. I've never killed before.
I don't know how long it's been before I hear footsteps and the shouting of my name. When I don't answer the stall is pulled open to this cruel sight.
Towels are wrapped around me. This was a violent act. They called for back up.
They're going to kick me out or kill me. Whatever the punishment is for this I won't survive it. I'm nauseous enough.
Lance sets me down and I only know it's him who removed me from the sight because he pulls my head to look at him and he starts examining me.
"Aries, there's signs of struggle all over her. Enlarged pupils, her breathing is a little rapid, I'd say she's in shock." He says.
"Well she surely stabbed him enough." She says smartly. I wonder if I've reached the point of no return.
I just keep hearing everything but I don't react.
"Max…" Ellen says in a warning tone.
"What on earth is this!?" He's shouting at the sight of the body.
"She did this?" It's him. He's here.
"Is she talking?" Max sounds less pissed.
"He attacked her." Aries says now, trying to get it through that this wasn't just a murder.
"What a sick bastard." A voice says that I don't recognize.
"Get through to her I don't care about your conflicts!" That's a bad idea Aries.
And he is coming forward on orders and practically pushing Lance out of the way when he catches a glimpse of me. I don't want him to see me like this, so weak and so vulnerable. I don't want any of them to see me like this but I can't bring myself out of it. I'm weak. He stands before me.
"Hey Laurs. I need you to tell me what happened?" He asks me softly but still in a leader voice as Max and Aries stand near.
I can't form the words and tears run down my cheeks. Fuck. He is kneeling down in front of me, he moves his hand as to touch me, he stops but then he's reaching towards me.
Then he's cupping my presumably bloody face, "She's shivering, get her more blankets." He orders without looking away from me. "Breath Lauren." That's what brings me back realizing that I haven't been breathing right.
"He attacked me." I say with a long overdue normal breath.
Eric looks to Max and Aries. I realize now that Lance is at my side rubbing circles on my back trying to keep me warm.
They all wait for me to continue. I realize that the words come out again, so I go for it. I need to be strong.
"He tried to kill me by choking me and…I had a knife." I say and Max and Eric look to Lance.
"She has bruising around her neck." There are too many blankets on me so he had to confirm it.
"Did he say why Lauren?" Max asks now as Eric still kneels in front of me.
Yeah, because I was Divergent, but I can't say that, it will only make their suspicions grow so I tell them no.
Aries and Tori help clean me up at my apartment as I ramble on about how un-Dauntless I was tonight. I stabbed James fifteen times, which according to them makes me very Dauntless because I defended myself. It could've been me dead tonight and not him.
They give me a minute to change and I mistakenly look at my naked body in the mirror of my bathroom. There are marks around my neck in the shape of hands, along with bruises covering my torso, back and arms. I will be administering some healing serum to clear this up tomorrow at the infirmary.
I walk out to my bedroom dressed when Tori sits on my bed as I hear Aries arguing with someone in my living area. I raise my eyebrow at Tori.
"Don't do it."
"What?"
Then I hear his voice; it's Eric wanting to check on me and I give Tori a look of panic.
"He's an idiot. If you want to see him okay, but neither Aries or I are leaving." She finishes her sentence as Eric practically barges through my bedroom door stopping when he sees my bruised form now. I have a tank top on and sweats. The tank top doesn't cover up much of the bruises. Tori is smart enough to walk out of the room as Aries yells not to shut the door and that Eric has 20 minutes and he has to leave.
Eric and I stand awkwardly before he closes the space between us and gently brings me into a hug. I wasn't expecting this so I don't know how to react first, but I eventually bring my arms around his waist. He presses me gently into him as my head is to the side fitting perfectly under his chin. One of his arms is holding me around my ribs while the other is softly placed in my hair to bring me close. We say nothing and stand like that for what seems like hours until he pulls away.
He's back in his stance with his arms tucked behind him. He stands all clad in his black Dauntless jacket, with the tattoos poking out on his neck. His face is stern and I can't tell what he's thinking. I don't know where the sudden need for him to check on my well being came from, but it's nice to see that human caring Eric still exists – well to me at least.
"We aren't punishing you. It was self-defense, you injuries confirm that and you are a respected member of this faction for us to not trust you. Therefore, this will be kept out of the news and his body has already been tossed away like the trash he was."
"He was your friend, Eric."
"I don't have friends Lauren. You should rest," his words are cold. He pauses awkwardly like he's about to do something but abruptly leaves with Aries and Tori coming back in my bedroom seconds later as I'm left standing there confused.
"Quit over thinking Nose and listen to him. Get to sleep."
The news of James' death spreads like wildfire throughout the faction. The details they give was that he attacked another member and that member didn't spare him his life. He was a misfit in this faction. Truly arrogant, and annoying at times, I don't think he'll be missed.
I sit at the table at lunch across from Four with Tori to my right. I tried my best to cover my bruises on my neck but it's nearly impossible and I haven't gotten to the infirmary yet. I know he's going to see them and figure it out.
He smiles at us and we smile back. It takes all of a minute for him to stop eating and stare at my neck.
"Lauren, what the fuck happened?" He says quietly enough since the initiates are near by.
"I'll stop by later and explain okay?" I try to reason with him.
"You did it. Didn't you?" I have to curb some of his curiosity so I nod yes. He takes that answer for now as I continue eating.
"Where's Ellen?" I ask and Lance and Mia just stare at me. "Seriously you two where is she?"
They exchange looks before Lance answers. "I didn't want to add this to your insane night, but she isn't doing well Lauren. She doesn't have much time left."
"I need to see her."
"We can't." Mia says now, and I look at her strangely. "She left us notes that we are to open when she passes. She doesn't want to be seen like this."
I don't have time to think as bloody Dauntless members come in from already fighting in the Pit this afternoon and I'm tending to them.
I'm going to be in charge of this place soon. That's what Max meant when he said my time to step up would come didn't he? Will they even let me now after I murdered someone?
My goal before I left tonight was to administer a small dose of healing serum to myself. It will help with the bruises and soreness that has taken over my body.
It helps some as I walk home for the night. My mind still is curious to how they got Eric to come see me when he's been a bastard to everyone since he broke off our relationship, if that's what you would call it.
Four stands outside of my apartment door and we say nothing as I let both of us in. He sits comfortably on my couch as I grab two glasses and bourbon out of my kitchen cabinets.
I sit on the table in front of him. It's better to tell him this head on as I pour him and I a glass.
"Why did you kill him?" He says quickly, unable to contain the question any longer.
I sigh and begin with the story. "I didn't tell them it was because he thought I was Divergent though. They would've killed me then" I give him a second to process as he runs his hands over his face.
"If Eric and James were so close…why did it seem that James was on to you more then Eric?"
I bite my bottom lip as I wonder the same thing. How was James so certain and Eric brushed off the matter? Who was James working for?
"James was working for someone…its not just Jeanine in this…" I say my thoughts out loud.
"Lauren. James was closer to Jeanine then Eric is. That's the only thing that would make sense. You slept with him…what could he have done when you were sleeping?"
It hits me. My glass slips out of my hand and crashes loudly to the floor and Four looks at me startled.
"She gave him the newest version…"
"Of what?" Four says, as he comes closer to me know, startled by my grave reaction.
"The handheld Divergent detector. He used it on me when I was asleep. It must've taken him this long to get it back to Jeannie to confirm that it worked. Once he found out he came after me as an order. Four – Jeanine knows that I'm Divergent."
I panic and look around my apartment aimlessly wondering who's going to kill me. What if they injected me with something already that will slowly kill me?
"I'm calling Aries. She can search his apartment Lauren. It might not have gotten back to Jeanine, calm down."
Within minutes Four and I are calmly walking down the hall and the staircase up to James' apartment, of course on the leader level, since they pitied him.
Aries has the cameras on this floor on loop so we can't be caught. Four types the code in that she gave him and we are in with no one seeing us.
I was here once in the dark and never really got to look at the place. It's strange to me now as it's so clean and precise. James was former Erudite too so books line the place. We ransack the place. They'll figure someone else did it before suspecting us. We come up empty until I see a stone in the wall that's off in his closet.
Behold behind it is the detector. I hand it to Four as we pull it apart to see that all the information is stored inside of it and not transmitted to Jeannie remotely. As soon as she gets word of his death, I bet she'll send people here for this.
Getting it from here to Aries is difficult, but that's the safest place to keep it.
"Aries quit playing with it!" Tori yells. Aries being Aries, aims it at her and presses the button.
"Divergent 78 percent." The robotic voice says and we all freeze.
"Jesus!" Aries says.
"It works." I say.
"Destroy it." Four says menacingly.
We agree that the best way to get rid of it is in the infirmary. There's a cremation chamber there and that seems like the smartest thing to do.
All our phones suddenly go off. It's a death announcement with the funeral in an hour.
Ellen is dead.
Many have gathered as I stand in the Pit with Mia and Lance as it's only fitting. This just doesn't hit us hard; it hits everyone since she took care of all of us when we were injured. She's the one that assured us we were brave and would fight another day.
Max surprisingly chose to lead the funeral instead of forcing one of the younger leaders to do it. Eric and Aries stand behind him as well as the other leaders. Her death truly did affect everyone.
He shouts down from the staircase above the Pit and something about how he keeps eyeing me makes me uneasy to the point where I start tapping my right foot softly on the stone underneath it.
"With tomorrow being final testing, I see no problem in reassigning this member. Ellen was the head of the infirmary, a leader. She needs someone just as daunting and intelligent to take her place. Lauren Dyer, you have been appointed as the head of the infirmary, because this is a low but respectable leadership position do you except?"
All eyes are on me and my time to stand up has come. There's no backing down.
"Yes sir, I accept."