There had been an accident. Now Tony is faced with the thoughest decision he ever had to make.
So this is a major character death drabble again. I don't even know what drove me to do this. I think I just like to see Tony and Bucky suffer. And you can suffer with them like I did.
I changed a part of that story last minute so if you find something funny or something that doesn't make sense please let me know.
And now enjoy!
Tony was chipper as he worked on his latest invention which demanded a lot of his attention and so he only briefly glanced over when Steve walked in. Bucky was not with him and so Tony quickly concentrated back on his work.
"Hey Cap. How did it go? Where's Bucky?"
"Tony" Steve said and Tony knew that tone. It meant something serious was about to happen and he sighed as he turned around, already ready to mock him with whatever this was.
When he got a good look at Steve's face he sobered up completely though. This face meant bad news.
"Where is Bucky?" Tony asked again because he usually came down to the workshop first when he returned from a mission. Tony as well as Bucky needed the reminder that the other was alright.
"Tony I have to" Steve started haltingly but Tony was having none of that.
"Just spit it out Cap. Don't drag this along" Tony said and already stabilized himself on the workbench behind him as if to brace himself for a hit that was to come. "Just tell me."
Steve took a deep breath and then said "There has been an accident."
Tony shook his head. "No. You don't say that. Ever. Not with this kind of face. You don't get to say that."
"Tony, please" Steve stepped closer and Tony raised his hand. If it was as bad as he thought he would need the distance.
"Is he still alive? Just tell me that. Is he still alive?"
"He is in medical" Steve answered.
Relieve washed through Tony and he was ready to hit Steve for scaring the shit outta him. "So what happened?"
"Tony you have to listen to me" Steve said in the most urgent voice he could muster. "It's not good. He is alive but that's it. He...the doctors say...it doesn't look good. He can't move."
So maybe it was time for Tony to lean onto the table again. "But that will change, right?"
Steve shook his head. "I didn't really understand what the doctor told us but something in his brain short circuited or something and now he can't do anything."
"You have to stop talking right now. I have to go" Tony told him and pushed past him not caring if Steve was following him or not.
He arrived in Shield medical not ten minutes later and when he stepped out of his suit a doctor was already waiting for him along with Fury and Coulson.
"Mr Stark, we would have called you immediately but Captain Rogers asked us to wait until he spoke to you."
"Why would you call me?" Tony asked, momentarily confused.
The doctor frowned and said "You are listed as his closest kin and are therefore his emergency contact."
Tony's eyebrows shot up. "I am what?"
The doctor opened his mouth to speak again but Tony stopped him. "No, you know what? I don't even care right now. Just tell me how he is."
"He was brought here because he couldn't move or breathe and after our work up we found out that he had a brainstem stroke."
Tony had done enough research to be able to connect the nerves to the arm correctly that he knew what that meant. He still shook his head.
The doctor seemed to think that he didn't understand the diagnose and elaborated. "We call it locked-in syndrome. Patients usually only have control over their eyes and that is the case here. He has been communicating through Morse code but that's about it. He is intubated because he can't breathe on his own and I am sorry but this won't heal."
"He has the serum. It will be fine. If you'll excuse me now I have to see him."
Tony moved past the doctor and avoided Fury and Coulson altogether and they were smart enough not to stop him. He took a deep breath before he entered the room and quickly closed the door behind him.
There was only one bed in here with a lot of monitors and Bucky was lying very still. Tony moved closer right beside him and when Bucky's eyes snapped to his he took his hand.
"It's alright. I'm here. It will be okay."
"Missed you" Bucky blinked with his eyes and Tony smiled. It was their usually greeting after being apart because of a mission.
"Missed you too" he answered and leaned down to kiss Bucky on the head since there was a tube sticking out of his mouth. "What happened?" Tony asked him and Tony could tell that Bucky wanted to shrug only to realize, again as it seemed, that he couldn't do it.
"Don't know. I fell" he signed and Tony stroke his head.
"Okay. We will figure this out and you will be back to your usually annoying self in no time."
Bucky indicated a nod with his eyes before he closed them. Through the monitors Tony could tell that he dozed off almost immediately and he guessed that Bucky had just stayed awake to see him.
Tony carefully let go of his hand and turned around to leave the room but he could hear Fury and Coulson talk on the other side of the door and he wasn't really ready to face them again so he went into the bathroom that was connected to this room.
He closed the door, not bothering to turn on the light, and then he let himself slide down to the ground. His breaths were coming hard and fast and he had to fight back tears.
He hadn't believed Steve, or the doctor for that matter, but seeing Bucky with his own eyes, lying in bed so helplessly, that was a total new horror. And he knew that this wasn't temporary, brainstem stroked never healed and he wasn't sure that Bucky had enough serum in his body to heal something like this.
Tony wouldn't be able to do anything for him except being strong and so he only allowed himself this break down in a dark room.
When he went back out there he needed to have himself under control. So he didn't try to stifle his breaths and sobs all that much and he kept telling himself that this would go away.
It had been four months and nothing had changed.
Bucky was still unable to move and they were nowhere near a cure. They didn't even know what caused it, though the doctors suspected that it had been due to the extensive damage Bucky's brain had suffered during the wipes.
Tony had been in medical every day and he had watched the light leave Bucky's eyes. He had made jokes in the beginning but that had long ceased. Now Bucky answered when they wouldn't leave him alone and that was it.
Sometimes he wouldn't even acknowledge that Tony was there. He had lost every will to fight and Tony could see it.
It still caught him off guard when Steve and the doctor waited for him when he came back to Bucky's room. "Mr. Stark, we have to talk."
"What?" Tony asked, already annoyed because he knew that this wouldn't lead to anything.
"This will be hard to hear, so maybe we should sit down" the doctor said and gestured at a few chairs.
Tony eyed Steve warily and realized that he looked positively sick. "What happened? Is he alright?"
"His medical condition did not change but he is not alright. Mr Stark, he asked us to turn off his life support."
Tony wavered and Steve put a hand to his shoulder to stabilize him. "No" Tony croaked out and vigorously shook his head. "Not happening. He can come back from this."
"Tony I don't think he wants that anymore. That was the first thing he said to me in over a week."
"Why are you telling me this? Why not just do it then if you think this is the right choice?" Tony bit out and slapped his hand away.
"Mr Stark, I told you, you are listed as his closest kin. That means we have to tell you. You have to at least hear it before we do it."
Everything around Tony went fuzzy for a few seconds and his ears buzzed before he got himself under control again. "Excuse me" he stiffly said and walked into the next empty room he could find.
He wanted to scream or cry or kill something but before he could do any of that Steve walked in behind him.
"Tony. We have to talk about this."
"Leave."
"Tony, please."
"I said leave" Tony screamed and hit Steve in the face.
He was fairly certain that Steve only turned his head so that Tony wouldn't break his hand but that only fuelled his anger. Even more so when Steve opened his mouth.
"He doesn't need your consent on this but I know that he wants it. He wants you to understand."
"You don't get to tell me anything. I am left with this and you need to shut the fuck up."
"Tony I know this is hard, believe me I know, but we have to" before Steve could finish his sentence Tony stormed out and waltzed into Bucky's room.
He slammed the door shut and stormed over to the bed to lean closely over Bucky who looked slightly scared up at him.
"You don't get to quit, do you hear me? And you certainly don't get to lay this decision on me. If you wanna do it then just go ahead. Please. No one is stopping you. But I will not support this decision. This is on you."
When Bucky's only reaction was a signed "Please" all the fight left Tony.
"You don't get to do this" he whispered and sat down on his bed.
"Please let me go" Bucky signed and Tony felt a tear run down his face.
"No. You can still fight this."
"I'm tired."
"You have to hold on."
"I don't want to live like this" Bucky blinked, furiously even though he couldn't move a muscle in his face, and Tony closed his eyes.
If he couldn't see what Bucky was telling him with his eyes then he wouldn't have to accept it. When Bucky's heart rate elaborated he quickly opened his eyes.
"Don't do this to me. I can't live like this" Bucky signed and Tony stood up.
"And you think I can live with supporting your suicide? I have to go now" he whispered and his voice cracked. "See you tomorrow."
With that he walked out of the room and right into Steve. "Don't make me do this" he pleaded and sank down to the floor. "You can accept his decision. You are his best friend. He just needs someone to understand. And I can't do that."
"You think I can? That in there is my brother" Steve said and Tony didn't need to look up to know that Steve was crying. "And he listed you. That means he wants you to understand this. Do you really think it would help if I told him I understood what he was doing? Do you?"
"I can't. I can't let them pull the plug on the machine that keeps him breathing."
"You think I can? But it's what he wants."
Now Tony looked up at him. "You think we should support him" he whispered horrified by that.
"I think that Bucky doesn't want to live like this. I think he's been through enough."
"If he didn't then maybe you shouldn't have waited for me because I am not dealing with this. He should have put up a patient's provision or something so that we wouldn't have to deal with this."
"You really believe he thought it would end like this? Tony! He is a soldier. He expected to die in battle. Not to vegetate in a smelly hospital bed."
Tony tried to suppress his tears and after a while he sought Steve's gaze.
"What would you do? Could you let him leave without showing him that you understand?"
Steve looked down at him before he avoided his gaze. "No. I couldn't. God help me, but I would pull the plug for him if that is what he needs."
Tony let out a stuttering breath and his tears flew freely now. "I can't. I can't end his life, Steve. If I go back in there and tell him that it's okay, I end his life. How am I supposed to do that? I was going to ask him to marry me and now I have to assist in his suicide?"
Steve crouched down in front of him and his face was wet with tears. "We can do it together. We can do this for him."
Tony thought about that, thought about all the other options they had, and he came up blank. "I don't want to" he finally managed.
"None of us do. But this is what Bucky wants. And that has to count for something."
New tears rolled down Tony's face when he nodded. "Okay" he silently said and Steve briefly closed his eyes as if he had been hit.
"Okay" he whispered back and got up. "I'll go and find the doctor."
When Steve was gone Tony started to cry freely. He had to do it now because he had to be strong in Bucky's room and so he let it all out.
He thought about his time with Bucky, what they had gone through and how they had managed all of it, how they overcame every obstacle, and it made him cry even harder.
He only stopped and tried to regain some sense of control when Steve knocked at the door to let him know that the doctor was there now.
Tony took some deep breaths to get himself back under control and then he stood up. He took one last deep breath as he opened the door.
He could do this. He could give Bucky what he wanted.