Author's note: Warning! Tissue alert! You might need a few. Hey, Jodie, how does the angst rate?
Open Up My Hands and Find That They're Empty
Eric jumped when his pager went off. Frowning, he looked down to see a 911 Officer Down Escaped Felon blinking across the screen. Before he could even stand, he saw Horatio take off like a shot. That's when he knew it was bad, very bad. Horatio rarely ran and never through the Lab. As he left Fingerprints, he saw a flash of blonde hair before the stairwell door snicked shut. Calleigh had been at a dead run, her lab coat still around her, the elevator not nearly fast enough.
Eric took the stairs two at a time and came out into the parking structure in time to see two Hummers scream out with lights flashing and sirens already blaring. Getting into his own department vehicle, he glanced down at his pager to get the location of the occurrence and felt his heart tighten. It was the transport van. Wade had escaped.
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Instead of taking the hated and still feared backroads and following Horatio, Calleigh took the Causeway, getting stuck in traffic. She cursed mildly as she veered dangerously around a slow moving vehicle that was apparently being driven by someone both blind and deaf because they were paying no attention to her lights or siren.
"Poor excuse for human DNA," she muttered and, even though she knew the other driver couldn't hear her, she yelled, "Get the hell out of the way, you moron!"
Her heart was hammering in her chest. It was bad enough that Wade was now on the loose, but there was reported that one officer had been killed and the other badly wounded and was en route to the hospital. One of those two had to be Jake and it was all she could do to beat back the anguish and fear and continue to function normally.
"Learn to drive, jackass!"
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Eric was digging out the metal detector from the rear of his Hummer when he heard another vehicle screech to a halt and a very panicked Calleigh shoot from the drivers' seat and hurry over to Horatio. They spoke quietly for a few moments before he saw her relax slightly, as if in relief. She calmly walked back to her Hummer, taking out her phone and dialing.
Eric tried to ignore the searing feeling of jealousy that coursed through him as he witnessed the display. It was obvious to him now why she ran out of the Lab at top speed and why she had been in a state of sheer panic when she arrived. She had known that Jake had been the transport officer and had known that he was either hurt of dead. That, more than anything told him that Calleigh still had feelings for Jake. He wasn't too sure what they were, but he knew that he didn't like them.
Taking the metal detector and closing the rear gate, he began to walk in the direction that Horatio had indicated Wade ran. He had just switched the detector on when Calleigh caught up to him.
"I spoke to the ER and Jake's gonna be alright," Calleigh said casually, entirely unaware of Eric surging jealousy.
Eric found that he couldn't keep it from his voice. "Oh, I'm sure he would love for you to go visit him in the hospital." Once he said it, he regretted even opening up his mouth.
Eric's tone caught Calleigh completely off guard and she found herself irritated at him and not just a little hurt. He knew that she and Jake had renewed their friendship, nothing more. And why on earth was he acting like a jealous lover?
She paused before she spoke because she didn't want to say the wrong thing and have what could be an argument escalate and spiral out of control. "Yeah, you know what? I came to see you at the hospital, too."
Eric looked up from the ground and into her eyes, seeing the hurt. What did she have to be hurt about? He didn't have some ex chasing after him. "Yeah, well that was different," he said bitterly. He wanted her to finally tell him how she felt or be receptive to him telling her how he felt because if they continued to play this game they were playing much longer it was going to end up with one or the other or both of them getting hurt.
"It is different because you and I work together," she said as if it honestly made any difference in her feelings for him, which it didn't because she couldn't deny that she loved him more than her life. She just couldn't seem to tell him that.
Eric wouldn't let it go. He was going to push just a little harder. "You work with Jake, too."
"He's in Homicide; you and I are in the Lab day and night," Calleigh said exasperatedly. She ached to tell him how she felt about him, but there never seemed to be a good time. They were at a crime scene, of all places. She softened her voice. "You know I trust you with my life. I don't even know how I feel about Jake yet."
The sincerity of her words washed over him, making the jealousy recede. Yeah, he did know how she felt about him. He knew, to her, trust was bigger than love because you could love someone without trusting them. You couldn't trust someone without loving them. Looking into her eyes, he could see that it was the truth and just for a second, maybe she didn't know it, but he saw love in her eyes.
Eric gave her a slight smile. "Yeah, well, maybe we should get back to work."
Calleigh gave him a slight smile in return and that love flashed once more before her entire demeanor changed to a professional one and they continued to search for evidence.
They parted their ways as he took his vehicle and she hers, not to meet up until after Wade's accomplice was found and Calleigh, with Alexx's expert help, discovered that while Lucas Wade killed the three young women in Boston and Shelly Seaver from that morning, he did not kill Jennifer Royce. Lindsey Wade, his sister did. Horatio had gone to arrest her for the murder but, instead, found her a victim in her own right. For some inexplicable reason, Lucas had taken her daughter, Holly.
Calleigh watched Eric for a long while before asking for an explanation of what he was doing. Satisfied that it was no more than his best, she returned to her photographing.
"I have a hard time feeling sorry for her since she killed Jennifer Royce; and I think she's probably covering for him," Calleigh said casually, snapping a photo of the broken door frame.
Eric just stared at her, not believing how callous she sounded just then. "He has her little girl, Calleigh."
Unfazed and completely able to compartmentalize it all away, she replied, "Yeah, but still; she's a murderer."
Eric felt himself become irritated with her. How could she be so cold and unfeeling? Holly was only a little kid and was probably scared out of her mind. "Family psychologies run deep. They make you do things you never thought you were capable of."
Hearing his tone of voice, Calleigh stopped taking pictures and thought back. She never thought Eric would cross the line into illegal territory and buy drugs, but he had. They weren't for him, but his sister, Marisol who used them to keep the nausea from her chemotherapy at bay. His love for his sister made him do a thing that he knew to be wrong and he was entirely willing to take the fall for it when he was caught. His dedication to those he loved knew no bounds. She softened her voice. "Yeah, you're right. Do you mind finishing up here? I'm going to go check on something."
He looked up at her. There it was again; love."Yeah, I'll collect the little girl's things."
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It had nearly driven him crazy, not being able to find anything to tell him where Lucas had taken Holly. Lucas Wade was a known serial killer. Granted, killing little girls was not his way, but who knew what he'd do? He was an escaped felon and could use his niece as a hostage.
He had almost kissed Natalia when she noticed the receiver for the child locater on Holly's shoe. He let Horatio know and then the next two new bits of information hit almost simultaneously. Wolfe had pulled Wade over a few years back and remembered where it had been and that Lindsey Wade had killed before. She had killed her little sister, Emma, and then blamed it on Lucas because of the extra Y chromosome. That was an accident. Jennifer Royce was not.
He and Horatio had torn out of the Lab at top speed, locating both Lucas and Holly just before he could get the boat away from the dock. The child was completely unharmed and not even frightened. She had no idea what both her mother and uncle were. Lucas was taken into custody and Eric had handed little Holly off to Child Services.
Now, however, after all the excitement, he found himself finishing logging in all the evidence from the case. A flash of gold caught his attention and he looked up just as Calleigh passed the evidence locker on her way to the elevator.
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Calleigh found herself immensely satisfied. Not one, but two killers behind bars and it wasn't even the end of her shift. She signed off on her report just as her cell rang.
"Duquesne," she said, leaning back in her chair, already choosing which firearm to test in the McWilliams case.
"Don't you sound all pleased with yourself," Jake's voice said.
Relief flooded through her at the sound of his voice; his healthy and hearty voice. Although she really didn't know exactly how she felt about Jake, she knew she still cared about him. She had been horribly frightened when they got the call about the transport van. It threw her back to the afternoon when she'd gotten the alert that Eric had been shot. The fear had been very similar, but not nearly as intense. She needed to figure out her feelings and fast before something happened and she'd regret it. "You don't sound too bad, yourself. When are they letting you out?"
"I'm already out. In fact, I'm on my way up to see you right now. I know how you are," Jake said smoothly, teasingly.
She couldn't help but smile as she replied just as teasingly, "Oh yeah? And just how am I?"
"You'll lose sleep until you know I'm fine," he said, unknowingly hitting a soft spot.
Calleigh rose, slipping off her lab coat and heading for the door. "I'll meet you by the elevator." She closed the connection and moved down the hall, passing the evidence locker just as the elevator doors opened and Jake stepped out, straightening his tie.
"See, I'm all in one piece," he said softly, forcing her to come within a hair's breath of him to hear his voice.
"You don't look too bad," she said equally as softly, unprepared for the onslaught of emotion that rammed through her. Yes, she definitely had feelings for him and she didn't realize them until that very moment. She knew she still cared about him and it wasn't until she saw him in front of her with the bandaged cut over his left eye did she truly realize that she could have lost him forever. "It sounded like you were really banged up."
"What, were you worried?" He gave her that lopsided grin that always used to melt her.
She looked down. "Of course I was worried. You could have been killed."
"Hey, I didn't get away without a scratch, you know," he said. He could smell her perfume and her nearness was intoxicating. He wanted her back so badly it had hurt. She was within touching distance and his entire body ached for just the touch of one small, slender finger. He pointed to another scrape on his chin. You could hardly see it and he knew that she'd just have to touch him to find it.
Calleigh squinted to where he pointed and gently cupped his jaw and then suddenly his hand was in her hair and his lips crashed down on hers, capturing them. The world went silent and she was helpless as her mind went to white noise and her body betrayed her with a passion that she'd forgotten she had. Her head burned where he cupped it and her lips craved more, dreaming of Eric. Eric. Suddenly her mind began to work again and the world came crashing back in.
What was she doing? She and Jake were in the middle of the Lab and someone could see them. Not only that, but this was not Eric, but Jake. Jake Berkeley whom she did...not...love. She pushed at his chest forcefully enough to get him away from her. She had to get out and clear her head. Things were rapidly going from bad to worse and she was beyond disturbed by how her body had just responded.
Without a word, she shoved past him and got on the elevator. Only when she looked back into the Lab before the doors closed did she notice that Eric was standing in the evidence locker. The shattered look on his face told her that he had seen everything. She knew that look because she had felt what he felt and the guilt that lanced through her was nearly as painful. She tried to convey that to him, but she knew she failed miserably. If anything, he looked even more hurt. She tried to give him a slight smile but it wouldn't come.
It was a miracle that she held it all in until she got to the beach. She didn't even get out of her car before the tears began coursing down her cheeks. She gripped the steering wheel with both hands as she rested her forehead on it.
What had she done? Seduced by her own concern for Jake's safety and well-being, she had been lead into...into what? It had been a single kiss. But it had not been that chaste, gentle kiss that she had placed on Eric's cheek those few weeks ago. This one was unexpected and full of passion and she was thoroughly ashamed of herself for allowing herself to find pleasure in it. Her feelings were in confusion. She was never good with them anyway and now it came back to bite her hard. If it had just been her, she would have dealt with it and moved on. But, no, nothing concerning her and Jake had ever been simple. With one, simple and unexpected kiss, she had shattered Eric's heart and probably destroyed his trust and their friendship. Because her body blindly responded to Jake's, she knew she'd lost the most precious thing in the world to her, Eric. And that was a pain that would kill her.
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Eric couldn't look away. It was like watching a train wreck. They kept getting closer and closer and then his mouth was on hers and she didn't push him away. She didn't slap him. She leaned into the kiss, seemingly deepening it. Eric felt not only his heart, but his world shatter into a million pieces and yet he couldn't look away.
He felt sick to his stomach as he watched her push away from Jake and almost run into the elevator. Then their eyes met and he knew Calleigh was lost to him. The pain and guilt she carried in them told him that she'd run away from him and hide. Part of him wanted to run after her, but a bigger part of him wanted to never lay eyes on her again.
He watched as Berkeley pushed the button and stood there, looking confused. Didn't he get it? Calleigh was being Calleigh and she'd run rather than deal with her emotions. Besides, didn't Berkeley know that Calleigh had just made her choice and he had won?
Heart torn and bleeding and his world completely destroyed, Eric turned resolutely back to his work, wanting to hide all the pain and anger in meticulous cataloging because he couldn't face the pain right then, not in the Lab with his colleagues there. Not while he was so raw that if anyone made comment on his mood he's have to be arrested for assault and battery.
Putting his head down and continuing with his work there was only one thing he was certain of. He'd lost the most precious thing in the world to him: Calleigh. And that was a pain that would kill him.