Chapter 25
"Halfway There"

Silent…That's what they were. I excused myself to my room so I could change into my own clothes, and still no one said anything, or if they did, I didn't hear them. I left them there, all of them silent, and went into my room. Pikachu came with me because he was making no attempt to leave me alone. There I did as I said I would, at last donning my hat. I turned to look at myself in the mirror. Finally, I could look in it and actually see myself again…Now if only there wasn't that tail behind me…I needed to do something about my pants. I couldn't always keep going around with them pinching my tail like that, it would probably give me back problems in the end.

I turned to Pikachu, who was sitting on my bed next to Gary's discarded clothes.

"What do you think?"

"…Pika…"
'I'm glad you're back.'

I made a face. "That's not what I was asking about. I meant, how do I look?"

"Pi pikachu."
'You sound like Team Rocket when you ask that.'

"Pikachu…" I groaned.

I gave up and looked back at the reflection again. I adjusted my hat a little. It was a little weird but good to have it snug on my head again.

"…What do you think everyone else is doing right now…?"

"Pika, pikapi…"
'Probably wondering about you…'

"…Yeah…" I sighed.

I walked over to him and picked up the cloak to peer at it again.

"Do you think they…um……I dunno…About me…what…"

"……Pikaa, pikapi…"
'…It'll take a while for them to get used to it…'

I nodded without looking up. "…What about you…?"

"…Pika, chyuu…"
'It's a Mew tail, isn't it?'

"…Yeah…"

Pikachu took a second to scratch his ear, then jumped on my shoulder.

"…Piii…Pikachu…"
'I don't understand how you didn't evolve all the way…'

I shrugged. "Stranger things have happened…"

Pikachu gave me a skeptical look and I blushed. "Well…Okay, this is pretty strange but…Well, maybe I just didn't wanna evolve, okay?"

"Piii?" Pikachu trilled in amusement, "Pikapi, pikachu pika."
'Really? Mews are legendary, but you didn't want to evolve just because you're just so stubborn…'

"That's not the reason! Besides, who are you to be saying that anyway?"

Pikachu just grinned. "Pika, pikachu. Pikapika pikachu…"
'Well still, you should've evolved all the way or not at all. I don't think there's a middle evolution…'

I breathed a sigh. "…No, there isn't…"

"Pika…?"
'Then…?'

I shook my head. "Don't worry about it…With any luck, this'll be as far as I get…"

"……Chu…"
'…If you say so…'

I looked down at the cloak in my arms again.

"You think I should keep wearing this…?"

"Pi?" Pikachu looked at it too, "Pika, pikachu."
'Huh?…It's up to you.'

"Gee thanks," I muttered.

I glanced back at the other clothes on the bed. At the least I would have to give those back to Gary…I gathered them all up in my arms.

"I guess it's time to face the music…" I thought out loud.

"Piii…"
'I hope it's pretty music…'

I half-laughed. "Yeah, me too…"

I opened the door and looked out cautiously. I didn't see anyone right away, but down in the living room, Gary and Misty were sitting on the couch, talking quietly. Mom was nowhere in sight, but I could hear her in the kitchen. That's right, it was almost dinnertime…I looked back at Gary and Misty. Umbreon was sitting on the floor in between them, but closer to Gary. Leaning on the far side of Misty was a little white speck. It took me a second to realize it was Togetic. Funny, I didn't see her before…

"Kaaa…" Pikachu whispered.
'Don't be so shy…'

"I wasn't!" I whispered back, "I'm just…taking my time…"

"Chuu…" Pikachu replied.
'Suuure…'

"I was!" I snapped back, still keeping my voice down, "Watch, I'm not scared…"

I eased my way across the hall to the top of the stairs. I paused there for a second to collect myself, then slowly made my way down, one step at a time. By the third to the last step, the voices on the couch had hushed to a whisper, and then nothing at all. They were all looking at me except Togetic. I could tell. I swallowed and kept my eyes down, trying to ignore the hammering in my chest, and walked closer to them. I deposited my bundle on the cushion next to Gary, then moved to sit in the chair he'd been sitting in before. No one said anything.

I fidgeted. I didn't have the cloak to play with anymore, so I just fidgeted all over. I didn't look at them, and they didn't say anything. I strained to think of something to say. The silence was going to drive me insane. I glanced at my tail. It was out in the open now. Exposed. They could see, stare at it, as much as they wanted to. The smarter part of me told me it was a good idea to let them so they'd get used to it, but the rest of me was screaming at the awkwardness of it all and how they weren't even talking to me or each other or anyone and just making me look, feel……wrong…

Seconds dragged on like hours, suns…Why wouldn't they say anything!?!

I coughed, shifted in my seat and continued to stare at the floor. Pikachu dropped from my shoulder to my lap and I scratched his head. Mom continued to work in the kitchen.

Sound broke through the haze of silence like a missile. I think we all broke from pressure of insanity at the same time.

"I know what you're all thinking…"
"Umbreon was telling us…"
"How did this happen…?"

I swallowed and shook my head. "I think I should start…"

Misty and Gary gave me the nod.

"Pika, kachu?" Pikachu asked, looking up at me.
'What about Mom?'

"…I guess I'll have to tell her later…or…well, couldn't Mimey cook for her…?"

"Yeah," Misty nodded, "I'll go get her…"

"Alright."

She got up and left. Togetic stayed. She was mostly asleep anyway.

I didn't watch her go, and I didn't look at Gary.

"Legendary Mew, huh…?" he said, like he was talking to himself.

That got my attention.

"…What are you talking about…?"

"…That's what Umbreon said," he responded without looking directly at me, "That…tail of yours…It's just like the tail of a Mew…"

I could feel red coming to my cheeks, though I couldn't figure out why.

"…How……How do you know that?"

He shrugged. "I'm just repeating what Umbreon here said. Supposedly, it's common knowledge among Pokémon…"

"Pi…" Pikachu nodded, and Umbreon did too.
'Yeah…'

I looked at Pikachu while I rubbed his head, but I wasn't really paying attention to that.

"Well…Umbreon's right," I said quietly, "Mew. I was almost a Mew…"

Gary shook his head roughly. "I still don't get how that's supposed to work…"

"…Well…it's not supposed to work…Well, I don't want it to at least," I answered as Mom and Misty entered the room. Mom touched my shoulder briefly as she passed, and Misty picked up Togetic to make room for them both on the couch. It was Misty who was in the middle then, with Togetic on her lap. They stayed quiet, probably because they could see that Gary and I were already talking.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Gary asked.

I kept my head down and closed my eyes. "Pokémon evolve, right?"

Everyone agreed with that statement, so I went on.

"Well…a long time ago, humans did too…Now it's not…um…Well it just doesn't happen anymore, I guess…" I trailed off and took another glance at my tail. "…Okay, well usually it doesn't…or…well maybe this is just once of those once in a lifetime things……I don't know……um……The bottom line is, it shouldn't have happened…but it did…and well in evolution, you can't go backwards…It just doesn't work that way…so…I guess I'm stuck like this……"

Gary and Misty spoke at once.

"What do you mean by 'it shouldn't have happened'?" Gary asked.

"What are you going to do now?" asked Misty.

I put a hand to my head. I was getting tired. Just tired. That dull pain up there hadn't really faded away yet, and worse I was starting to feel sick.

"Misty, I don't really know…Gary……I don't know how to explain that…but I guess the only way it could've been avoided was if………" I stopped talking. They didn't need to hear that.

The only way that could've been avoided was if I was dead…

"If…?" Gary asked.

"…Nothing…"

I know they didn't believe me, but I guess they didn't feel like pressing too far. I guess I couldn't blame them after last time…

"Ash…" Gary started. It didn't sound like a question…or maybe he just didn't get far enough to ask. I glanced at him. He was obviously hesitating. That almost worried me. Gary was never one to hesitate…

"Ash," he said again, "You……Tomorrow, today, whatever…You can't just sit here. That tournament's still going on up at Indigo. You've gotta step in to defend your title. Not to mention that everyone thinks that you're kinda um not alive…" He looked right at me, intense. "You can't hide forever. They're gonna find out sooner or later."

…Part of me wanted to say right back, 'And you're the one who's gonna make sure they do, aren't you?' but the other part of me knew exactly what he was talking about and knew better than to argue.

"…What do you think I should do about that…?" I asked quietly.

"Wha…Uhh…I…I dunno. You better think of someth-……Ah, geez……Well…What are you gonna do, wear that cloak the rest of your life? Or…are you gonna go right up and tell 'em?……I mean, I don't see why I'm even asking that. It should be obvious what you'd choose…" He glanced at me again, serious. "…Then again, here I thought you wouldn't've tried to keep it a secret from your closest friends and family…Shows how well I know you…"

I gripped the arm of the seat tightly. Every last bit of fidget, breathe and move stopped.

What is he talking about…? He…He thought I wouldn't hide it from…them? Why wouldn't I-…Or…what…what…I don't…understand…

…but why would I hide anything from Mom and Misty and Pikachu anyway…? Why…I trust them more than anyone in the world…Why wouldn't I…wouldn't I…tell them…?

What's he trying to say…? He doesn't know me well? But he knew me longer than……

…He's right. He's right. I would've told them. Of course. I've never had anything to hide. Never. Always trusting, always open…

…What happened…?

……I know……I know……

I was shaking. Pikachu tried to help me by rubbing against me, but I barely felt it.

It all leads back to…to the dreams…I thought I could finally forget about them……

I hugged Pikachu close to me, probably crushing him, but he didn't complain.

"Ca-can we t-talk about this…later?" I asked, "I…I don't feel…good…"

"Dinner should be ready soon…" Mom told us quietly, "Gary, you can stay if you want…"

"…Thanks, Mrs. Ketchum, but uh…um…I guess I really oughta head home…My parents should be back by now and they'd probably want me home since I'm back in Pallet and all…" He stood up. "Hey Ash, call me later, okay?"

"Huh…?"

"Like tonight or tomorrow whenever you wake up. I'm willing to bet that a month out of training hasn't been kind to you…I'll help you warm up. Just tell me when you'll be ready." He started for the front door with Umbreon right behind him, then paused. "And when I say when you're ready, I mean when you're ready, not never. Got it?"

"Uhhhh……O…kay…"

"Right. Smell ya later…"

And they left. After the door shut behind them, I let my eyes wander back to the couch and the spot where he'd been sitting…

What…He forgot his cloak!

I was ready to jump up and call out the door for him to come back, but common sense told me to stop.

That's yours now, Ash. You need it a lot more than he does, and he knows that…Don't worry, he'll probably ask for it back…sooner or later…

Mom stood up and walked to the kitchen. "Come on…"

I watched Misty stand up and follow her, holding Togetic. After they were both in there, I stood up, swallowed again, and went after them…

At dinner, I fought a battle between undeniable hunger and just plain unwillingness to put forth the effort it took to actually eat. I reached a sort of middleground, since I didn't want to ignore either side of the battle.

It was quiet at the table. I guess I'd already established that I didn't feel like talking anymore. They didn't seem to be holding it against me either. I guess…they could understand…at least a little…just enough…

"I'm glad you came home," Mom said. I glanced at her. "You have no idea how worried I was…not knowing where you were or if you were okay…" She smiled and hiccupped to hide a sob. "I'm just…so happy to have you back…No matter what, Ash, remember…you're my son, and I'll always love you."

I stared at her for a moment, replaying it in my head. Eventually, an invisible hand smacked me upside the head.

Were you really expecting anything else, genius?

"M-mom…Th-thank…you…I…I love you too."

"Same here," Misty added, then blushed, "I mean…Well, you know what I mean…"

I blushed too, feeling a smile creeping to my face without my permission. "Yeah…I know…"

"Pika!"
'Same here!'

I chuckled softly and scratched Pikachu's head. "Thanks you guys…Thanks…a lot…"

            *  *  *

After dinner, I went to bed…Bed…I didn't just decide to go to sleep right where I was, I had to go to the specific part of the house where I could actually sleep. My bed. My bed. I didn't have to share it with anyone, but I did. Pikachu slept with me. It was actually Pikachu that time. I wasn't just imagining things.

And then I slept…outside of the sanctuary…the untamed, outside world, where nothing was predictable and horrors could lurk around every corner. I'd come back to it for some reason…because…aside from the horrors…there were joys…like my friends…family…because I couldn't imagine living forever without them. That would be a horror.

A nightmare.

I don't know what kind of dream haunted me that night. It faded away past memory as soon as I woke up.

            *  *  *

It was hot. Hot like summer. We were inside though. It shouldn't have been so hot…

I groggily forced my eyes open, gradually focusing on a yellow form beside me.

"…Pikapi…?" he said quietly.
'…Ash…'

"…Hey, Pikachu…" I whispered.

I pushed myself up, or tried to. I could barely support myself.

"Pika! Pikapi…" Pikachu exclaimed.
'Be careful Ash…!'

"…Don't…worry about…me," I told him. My arms were shaking from just keeping me sitting up.

"Pikapi…"

I peered around the room. No one else was there. The door was closed, and the curtains were drawn, but light still shone through the window. It must've been pretty late in the morning…

"…What time is it?" I asked Pikachu as I started to crawl slowly to the ladder.

"Pikachu…" he shrugged.
'I don't know…'

"Is everyone else up…?"

"Chu."
'Yes.'

I stared down the ladder, still visibly shaking from supporting my own weight. The room blurred once.

"…Why's it so hot in here…?"

"……Pikaa…"
'…It's not…'

"Huh…? Yeah it is…"

I turned to put one foot on the ladder. I missed the first few times.

"Pika pi!"
'Be careful!'

"I know what I'm doing…"

As I got my other foot over the rail, I felt my knee buckle on the first one. I fell against the ladder and dropped, sliding jaggedly downwards. At last, my legs reached the bottom and stopped my slide just as another rung jabbed my chin upwards. A sharp pain shot in my head and quickly traveled all through my body. I didn't, couldn't move, just laid there with my eyes squeezed shut…I could taste blood in my mouth…

"Pikapi!!"
'Ash!!'

I waited for the pretty little stars to go away before I opened my eyes. Fuzzy wall…Up…Ow…Fuzzy Pikachu…

"Pi…ka?" he whispered.
'Are you okay…?'

I moaned in reply and tried to lift myself off the ladder. Some part of me was thankful that I didn't get one of my legs caught in between the rungs, but not much. I didn't get very far up, and when I opened my eyes, everything was so blurry…I crossed my arms on the closest rung and rested my head on them, closing my eyes.

"…Pikapi…?"
'…Ash…?'

I vaguely heard the door swing open and two sets of feet walking in.

"Ash!?" Mom cried out. She came quickly to me, and I felt her arm around my shoulder. "Are you okay…?"

I nodded, then cringed as that brought more pain.

"…Ash…"

I shifted a little and almost ended up tumbling off the side of the ladder, but she caught me. It was still so hot…

"…I think you should stay in bed, dear…"

I stared up at her foggily through half-open eyes. I could just make out Misty standing anxiously behind her.

"M-mom, I…I'm…okay…" I whispered, "Just a little…a little…"

"…Sick?" she supplied. Her free hand touched my forehead. She felt cold… "You're burning up. You should rest…"

"But…I…"

"You just fell down the ladder! You're in no condition to argue…Come on, I'll help you up…"

She started to do that, but I pulled away suddenly, rolling out of her hold and falling hard on the carpet. I struggled a few seconds for breath, then painfully opened one eye.

"Ash!" Mom exclaimed, "Just what do you think you're doing!?"

"I'm okay…" I whispered stubbornly, "I'm fine…"

"No, you're not…"

"Yes I am…" I waved my hand around until it found the ladder and used that to slowly pull myself up. Once I was far enough, I grabbed with both hands and shakily climbed up until I was almost standing, except I was leaning against the ladder to do that. I breathed with an open mouth, trying to keep myself up and get my strength back…

"Ash…just rest…" Misty said quietly.

"…I don't need to…"

"What are you talking about!? Of course you do! Can't you tell?"

I shook my head carefully. "I'm…fine…"

"Ash…"

"Look, just…gimme a little time…you'll see…"

"…Ash I don't think…"

"Look, I'm fine!" I yelled, then shut my eyes as my head whirled for a second.

"Ash!" Mom cried.

Misty huffed after a moment. "Fine, have it your way, but if you collapse on the way down, don't blame it on me."

"…Wasn't planning to…" I grinned weakly.