About twenty minutes and quite a few kisses later, we found ourselves in a now familiar pose; lying in each other's arms on the couch, raining gentle kisses on each other's lips.

Joey drew back a little and took one of my hands in hers. I watched her staring at our joined hands and the thoughtful look that came over her face. I raised our hands to my lips and kissed hers. "Will you tell me now?" I said softly, not needing to elaborate to her about what.

She nodded but took her time before speaking. "My life kind of fell apart after I left the Bay," she said. "I thought I was handling what had happened to me, with the rape and everything else but out there on the boat, with no land in sight, instead of loving it and feeling the serenity out there like I've done my whole life, this time, it just made me feel incredibly alone." Joey sighed as she gathered her thoughts again. "It didn't help that the other guys on board knew Robbo and while they never actually came out and said anything, I felt like the crew were always watching me and sitting in judgement of me, as if I was somehow the one who had wronged Robbo by making it all up."

I wanted to say something, but I sensed Joey needed a moment to be with her own thoughts.

"I couldn't sleep because the whole environment felt toxic and stifling to me and it started to affect my work, to the point that when we finally docked again, the captain strongly hinted that I should stick close to shore from now on. I think he understood what I'd been going through and so was quite nice about everything, he even called in a favour and set up the job for me at the Whitsundays, so I was grateful to him for that. It was a job in a boat shop, so it meant that I could still work with boats but I never had to leave the shore." Joey paused again and closed her eyes.

I could see this was hard for her, so I leant forward and gently brushed my lips against hers. "It's ok Joey, you don't have to go on if you don't want to."

She opened her eyes and my heart nearly broke at the pain and sadness I saw there. "Now that I've started, I need to do this."

I nodded and squeezed her hand in encouragement.

"Anyway, I started my new job and it was fine for a week or so but then everything just started to fall apart again. One day this guy came into the boat shop and got all agro at the boss. I was in the other room, in no danger at all but it was a small room, so like where I was when Robbo trapped me and it just brought everything back. After that episode, with everything that had happened to me, my confidence was shot, I was scared and mistrustful, I felt abandoned by everyone, I was starting to have nightmares every night and I didn't have anyone to turn to, so I turned to drinking instead and after about a month, I quit."

I held back tears, hating the lonely path Joey had ended up on.

"I packed up what little I had, which wasn't much at all, bought a bomb of a car and hit the road. I did some fruit picking and whatever odd jobs I could get to pay my way as I ran from my problems. Didn't seem to matter how far I ran though, the nightmares just followed, so I drank even more to try to forget. I lost all control, drank too much, avoided building any friendships while I went from one one-night stand to another as I just drifted from town to town. I was pretty much in full self-destruct mode until I hit rock bottom." My brow raised at that last bit, worried about what rock bottom was. "I got drunk one night and slammed my car into a tree."

"Jesus Joey," I muttered aloud.

"Spending the next 5 months in hospital was the wakeup call I needed, though it's not a method I'd recommend to anyone."

"I'm so sorry Joey. If I'd been stronger, you wouldn't have had to leave the Bay in the first place."

"I'm responsible for my own actions Kate. I chose to run from my problems, instead of facing them and I was well aware that I was self-destructing, that I needed help, but the truth was, I just didn't care about anything, except the next drink and screwing some random girl."

I couldn't imagine that my beautiful Joey had become such a person, had become someone like me.

"I hated myself the more I did it, so I drank even more. It was a vicious cycle I couldn't find a way out of until that night when I got up close and personal with a tree." She smiled wryly, "Not my finest moment, but lying in that hospital bed gave me plenty of time to think about where my life was heading and it also introduced me to my two best friends. Caz was my nurse, always had time for a chat and wasn't afraid to tell me when I was wallowing in self-pity and she introduced me to Kym when she came to pick Caz up from work one day. I guess Kym decided that someone as lonely as me, needed a friend and so every day from then on, she would arrive an hour before Caz was due to finish her shift, so that she could spend time with me."

"I would have come if you'd called me," I said softly.

"At the time, I couldn't even look at myself, so there was no way I'd have wanted you to see me at my worst. I wasn't in a good place Kate and I needed to find my way out of it."

"I'm glad you did find a way."

"It wasn't easy, but I started to heal both physically and mentally while I was in the hospital and then when I was ready to leave, Caz offered me the granny-flat at the back of their place and I kind of ended up becoming like a part of their family." She smiled wryly. "I regret the way we met but I can't ever regret meeting those two, they saved my life in more ways than one."

"I don't think I could ever thank them enough for being there for you." And now, more than ever, I understood their protectiveness toward their friend and their animosity toward the Bitch. They'd seen for themselves how Joey's life had spun out of control because of my infidelity and betrayal. I wonder if they could ever forgive me if they found out who I was.

"They really helped me," Joey continued on. "First with their friendship and a place to stay, then for introducing me to this wonderful counsellor. Talking to him, I realised that most of what went onboard the trawler was just my imagination. The crew weren't watching me or judging me, it was me who was doing the judging. I had let myself believe that I was to blame for getting myself into a situation I couldn't get out of with Robbo, then I let myself fall for a woman I never should have gone near. I knew you were straight, yet I reached out for you because I needed to feel loved."

"And I did love you then Joey, don't ever doubt that."

"I know, but I'd had a lot of time on the boat to reflect on our relationship and I realised you weren't ready, yet I pushed and kept pushing until you fell into the arms…"

I stopped her by pressing my finger to her mouth. "You didn't push me into Hugo's arms, it was my own cowardice that was responsible for what happened to our relationship and only Robbo is to blame for what he did to you."

"Yeah, but at the time, that's not the way I was seeing things out there on the boat," she told me. "My mind was playing tricks with me, twisting everything and I couldn't seem to shake the feeling of my own lack of self-worth or that I was somehow to blame; for leading Robbo on, for never being honest with Brett so he had every right to be upset with me and then throwing myself at a straight woman."

"I'm not so straight now," I murmured.

Joey chuckled before she grew serious again. "The mind can be cruel at times, but talking through it with the counsellor, I started to untwist things and see the truth and once I started to do that, I was able to begin to move forward with my life."

"Until I walked into your life and brought the past back again."

"The past is in the past now," Joey said, then she kissed me. "And you've since brought me a future I am so looking forward to sharing with you." At that moment, Joey could feel the baby moving against her own stomach as they lay so closely together. It made her feel even more of a part of the baby's life. "And especially with this little gymnast."

Chuckling, I snuggled up against Joey as we both enjoyed the feel of the baby's movement.

When he finally stilled, Joey began again. "I wanted to tell you all of this so much sooner, especially after you opened up to me, but it's not something I talk about much, which is why Caz and Kym never go into details about how we actually met unless I say something first. It was a period of my life that was filled with many moments that won't make my list of proudest achievements and it was like I was another person during that time, a person I didn't particularly like and it has taken time to put it all behind me."

"I can relate to that, but that person is a part of you Joey and I think that the stronger woman you are today is because of her. You showed strength to walk away from me rather than risk being hurt again, which is probably what would have happened if you'd given me a second chance back then and after everything you went through, you showed the strength to get past it all and to move forward and you've now given me even more hope that I can do that as well. "

"You are already well down the path to that Kate and I guess another part of not wanting to tell you, was because I didn't want you to think that I in any way blamed you for what happened to me."

I coughed a little guiltily because I think I will always hold myself responsible for contributing to the path she ended up on. If we'd stayed just friends instead of becoming lovers, then she never would have had to leave the Bay and may even have sought out help much earlier and at least she would have had me, Aden, Leah and others by her side to help her.

I was dragged from my thoughts by soft lips on mine. "I know that look, you're finding a way to blame yourself, but Kate, everything I did, was my actions and mine alone and I take full responsibility for them and I don't want to hear, 'But if I hadn't done this' or 'if only I'd done that' from you because we've both agreed that it's all in the past now and we're both moving forward, together."

We stared at each other in silence for a moment. "God I love you," I blurted out suddenly, pressing my lips firmly to hers. It felt like the floodgates had opened as our lips hungrily sought each others, our tongues duelled and our fingers worked on buttons.

Next chapter, the girls reacquaint themselves with each other.