No Help!!
"Ryoko-San, I'm totally exhausted!" Kagome stated. It wasn't so much exhaustion from stress she had been discussing her sex life for hours and still hadn't gotten to the really deep part. Not that she wanted to do that anyway.
"Kagome-Chan, that's fine. I understand." The woman replied. Kagome glanced at her from the lounge chair and saw the older woman sitting in the leather wing chair beside her while scribbling on her notepad. "We've actually covered a lot today. We made a lot of progress." She stated.
"Did we?" Kagome asked feeling otherwise.
"Did we what?" Ryoko questioned.
"Make a lot of progress?" Kagome mumbled.
"But of course. The mere fact that you were able to discuss your problems is a significant breakthrough dear." She stated. Kagome sighed deeply. She couldn't help but feel like the woman was bullshitting her. "Like I said, we managed to cover a lot of ground.
Kagome sat up and rubbed her eyes. They were sore from shedding so many tears. Most of the time she was talking, she kept her eyes shut tightly so she couldn't see the woman's face. She didn't want to see the look of disgust. Once Kagome, opened her eyes however, she was surprised to see Ryoko-San not looking at her with disgust. However, Kagome knew she was hiding it below the surface.
"She didn't want me to pick up on her loathing me. How could anyone not hate a despicable, cheating, lying, manipulative skank like me?"
"Yes, we did cover a lot of ground, but…" She trailed off slowly. Ryoko raised her eyebrow.
"But what, Kagome-Chan?"
"Do you think you can help me? Honestly? How do I stop this madness when it had taken control of me?"
"Well, the first thing I should ask is, how do you feel about Naraku and Kouga? Are you in love with either one of them?" She asked and Kagome sat to think about it. She then shook her head.
"I can't be in love with Naraku or Kouga because the one I'm in love with is Inuyasha." She replied. Ryoko cleared her throat and crossed her legs.
"So you don't feel it's possible to love more than one man at the same time?"
"I mean…I care about them both…Naraku more so than Kouga but it's not love. They give me things I need. I'll admit that I've become accustomed to being with both of them. I never intended to be with Kouga more than a couple of times but at this point. I'm with both of them every week. This shit has got to stop! That's the bottom line." Kagome stated firmly.
"I see…" Ryoko responded. Kagome moaned. She hated the I see, response.
"Ryoko-San, can you just answer my previous question? Do you feel as though you can help me get out of this mess?" Kagome asked almost desperately. Ryoko sat at the edge of her chair, moving closer to Kagome.
"Ok, I will be perfectly honest with you. Sexual addiction isn't exactly my area of expertise." She stated and Kagome looked down. "However, there are certain things that apply to all addictions." She then hesitated which made Kagome looked at her.
"Such as?" She asked. Ryoko cleared her throat and fixed her glasses.
"Well, are you aware that both alcohol and drug abuse rehabilitation programs work on a multi-step matrix?"
"Excuse me?" Kagome asked while squinting her eyes. She then began realizing that all hope for recovery was fading fast. "Are you telling me I need to stop on a gradual basis?"
"Something of that nature, but listen first!" She raised her voice a bit which caught Kagome's attention. She knew Kagome was hot-headed and getting angrier as the moment passed. "Just, like any addiction, it's extremely hard to go cold turkey on-"
"Hold on! Are you telling me I should keep fucking these other men and lying to my husband?!
"Kagome, please relax and hear me out." She stated while standing up. She walked over to her desk to get a cigarette.
"Calm down!" Kagome got up and grabbed her coat. "I can't freakin' believe this bullshit! I finally get the nerve to tell someone about all the fucked up, backass, conniving shit I've been doing! I finally spill my heart out about everything and not to mention pay your ass to let me do it and this is what I get for my trouble?! You telling me to keep doing it? What do you suggest? To maybe cut back to two sexual trysts a week instead of four?! Let Naraku get a piece of me on Monday and Kouga on Wednesdays, and everybody's fucking happy right?!!"
Ryoko's hand began trembling while she attempted to light a cigarette. She was definitely nervous. She set off Kagome's temper which she didn't want to do at all. She cleared her throat to regain herself.
"No, not at all Kagome! I am going to help you! Just hear me out!" Kagome took a couple of breathes and sat down. She was so nervous and fed up with herself that was she basically a walking time bomb. Ryoko retook her seat as she smoked her cigarette. "I have a friend who specializes in sexual addiction. He has a practice in Okinawa and I think he might be able to help you."
"He? Oh, no, no, no this shit just got thicker and thicker. I can't discuss this with a man. Men are the cause of all my problems!" She moaned while cradling her head in her hands.
"I understand that but-"
"The main reason I came to you is because you're a woman and I thought at the very least, you would be able to relate to my situation a little better. But a man can't even begin to relate to the confusion going on in my head."
"I understand what you're saying but-"
"Besides, what am I supposed to do? Tell Inuyasha I'm going Okinawa on a business trip while I go check into some clinic for nymphomaniacs? That shit is out of the damn question."
"Are you a nymphomaniac?" She asked Kagome. Kagome took a deep breath and got up as she headed to the door.
"What the hell do you think?!" She snapped as she walked out the room. Ryoko chased after her.
"Kagome, come back in the office so we can talk more. Off the clock. We need to settle this. I don't want you leaving here so distraught, I really want to help you. Why can't you believe me?" She pleaded. Kagome collected herself for a moment and cleared her throat.
"Ryoko-San-"
"Ryoko." She corrected.
"Ryoko, I really do appreciate you listening to me and fitting me into your busy schedule. I'm truly sorry for snapping at you just now but all the pressure and stress I've been under lately is destroying me." She replied calmly as she pressed the elevator button.
"I can see that it's destroying you." She stated. "That's why you have to let me help." Kagome stared at her and slowly shook her head.
"No, you can't help me. No one can. I got myself into this and I have to get myself out."
"No! That's where you're wrong?!" She shouted and Kagome looked at her. She noticed the woman before her was sweating. Kagome felt bad that she was actually sweating over her. "If you could get yourself out then you would've a long time ago. In fact, you never would have put yourself in this situation in the first place if you had an option."
Kagome looked down, she did have a point but Kagome felt she couldn't do anything for her.
"The bottom line is this. After all the shit I've gone through with Naraku, I'm still sleeping with him. After all the shit I've gone through with Kouga and his bitch vandalizing my car, I'm still sleeping with him. There's nothing that's gonna make me stop, short of Inuyasha finding out and literally killing me. That's the truly pathetic part of all this."
The elevator door opened and Kagome stepped in. She then pressed for the lobby. Ryoko placed her hand inside to stop it from closing.
"So what are you going to do now Kagome? Just continue down your own path of destruction?"
Kagome threw her hands up in the air and then leaned against the elevator wall.
"Gee! I don't know what I'm going to do now!!" She fought to hold back tears. "I love my husband to death, but maybe instead of heading to my happy home, I'll go let one of my lovers have their way with me. Who knows?!" She made sure Ryoko heard the sarcasm in her voice. "Actually, I do know what I'm going to do after I leave here." She continued. "I'm going to my best friend's house and make sure she's alright. I haven't seen Sango since I cursed out her boyfriend. So who knows maybe she got herself in another situation and needs me and if she's alright then I'll ask her if I can cry on her shoulder for a change." She stated. Ryoko smiled softly even though it was a weak and forced. She slowly nodded her head.
"Sounds good Kagome, but listen…" She then rubbed Kagome's shoulder. "If you ever want to talk again, I'll be right here. You can call me anytime, day or night. I can't make you continue therapy with me. I just want you to know I'm always willing. Always."
"Arigatou Gozaimasu." Kagome smiled and bowed at bended waist as Ryoko did the same thing. The elevator door closed halfway before Ryoko stuck her foot in the way making the door open.
"Oh yeah Kagome, we never got a chance to talk about your third affair. Are you sure you don't want to stay for another hour to talk about it?"
Kagome smirked softly to herself, she was wondering how sick Ryoko would think she was if she revealed that. Kagome slowly shook her head.
"Trust me, Doc. That's the last thing I need to talk about right now. In fact, I think I'm better off keeping that skeleton in my closet." She replied as Ryoko slowly moved her foot. The last thing that Kagome saw as the elevator doors slammed was a the confused expression on Ryoko's face.