Chapter Twenty Five

I couldn't tell how much time had passed when I next opened my eyes. How long had I even been asleep? Hours? Days? The passage of time meant nothing in here.
It was almost entirely black around me, and I was completely alone. My head felt like it was full of cotton balls, and my whole body was shaky and weak. Somehow, I was laying on the ground, my body delicately placed with my hands clasped on my stomach, like I had been sleeping…or like I was in a morgue. I sat up slowly, and tried to remember what had happened. Flashes came, of pain, of Mai's bright silver ball of energy, of those eyes…

"LET'S PLAY A GAME," a voice boomed, though I couldn't tell if it was inside my own head or not.

I stood up, my legs barely supporting my weight. I didn't have the mental or physical energy to protect myself, so instead I just stood up as tall as I could and began yelling.

"WHERE DID YOU TAKE HER YOU BASTARD?!" I expected my voice to echo, but it sounded more like I was screaming in a well-padded room. It was unnerving, like I was trapped.

I took a few staggering steps forward, squinting out at the darkness, trying to see something, anything. "COME OUT, COWARD! COME OUT AND SHOW YOURSELF!" The sound of my own voice forced me to wince, the dizzy pounding in my head getting worse. I closed my eyes and pressed my hands against my temples, as if that might stop the throbbing.

Sharp footsteps clicked behind me, like high heels on a marble floor. "You always were weak, weren't you."

I spun on my heel, and nearly launched myself at the woman once I realized it was Mai. "Oh thank god," I said, raising my arms to embrace her. "I thought you were—"

She cut me off, stepping out of reach before I could even touch her. There was a dark bitterness in her eyes, something cold that I hadn't seen before. "You're pathetic."

I lowered my arms. "What are you talking about? What's wrong?" My brain felt foggy, and I couldn't make sense of her words.

She folded her arms. "I'm talking about how you couldn't even hold up a decent shield in here for more than, what, 20 minutes? We almost died because of you." Her upper lip curled into a disgusted sneer. "Thought I don't know what I expected. I wouldn't have this problem if Naru or Gene were here to help. Instead I got stuck with you."

A cold fury began to boil in my stomach, mixing with my disbelief. "What the fuck, Mai? I did my best, just like you did!"

"No, I was doing something productive, attacking at the heart of the spirit, causing damage. You nearly passed out after two seconds."

My thoughts were muddled as I tried to puzzle through what was even happening. "But...You came to me, remember? If you wanted someone else, why did you go to them?"

Mai rolled her eyes. "Because your mind was the only one weak enough for me to break into. I can't believe I ever thought you could help me."

I was at a loss for words. I wanted to say this was all ridiculous, but a tiny, nagging voice in my head kept asking: but what if it's true? Dumbstruck, I stared at Mai, my hands balled into weak, useless fists. She's right...How did I ever think I was strong enough to protect her?

"Wait…" I said, watching her eyes carefully. "Why are you saying this now? Why not voice your concerns earlier?" Why kiss me if this is how you really felt?

She shrugged, something flashing in her eyes, something I couldn't identify. "I didn't know how useless you were yet." Her voice was cold now too, disinterested and disgusted in a way I'd never heard before.

"You're…you're not Mai," I said, slowly realizing the problem. She was too cold, too hateful. An icy chill ran up my spine. If this isn't the real Mai, then… I took a cautious step backward, my hands suddenly clammy.

Not-Mai almost seemed to smile. "What makes you say that?" Her face assumed a vacant expression that was somehow all the more disturbing than her anger.

I took another step back. "Because the real Mai would never say things like this, not to one of her friends." In my head, I tried to focus my energy, tried to get ready to throw up a wall should it decide to attack, but I was still too weak. It felt like trying to walk after riding a bike for 20 miles.

Not-Mai let out a laugh. "Maybe not out loud."

I ground my teeth, trying to block out my own anxiety, trying to block out the voice in my head that said this new version of Mai was telling the truth. I shoved all my doubts deep down in my brain. "You're not Mai," I said again, hoping I sounded more confident than I really felt. "I don't care what you say. I refuse to let you toy with my emotions using some cheap trick."

Not-Mai's smile faded slightly, and she (It) tilted her head to the side, as if measuring me up.

"Very well, she said, her voice stretching, deepening. "We'll play the old-fashioned way." She smiled, but it was too wide, with too many bright white teeth. The smile grew wider and wider, the eyes above it yellowing and bulging out. The copy of Mai's face finally split in half, the teeth coming apart like the teeth of a zipper, and the familiar, massive yellow eyes burst out, the pupils wide and wild.

The pain began before I even had the change to think about attempting a shield.

Everyone in the room stared bleakly at the machines. This had happened so many times now that no one was even shocked by it. They all grimly watched as their friends' heart rates spiked, and then they all turned their eyes to Naru. For the first time in anyone's memory (except Lin's, of course), they saw him look truly afraid.
He stared at Mai's heart rate monitor, his mouth slightly open, his jaw slack. His arms hung limply at his sides, and his shoulders were slumped forward. He looked so young, like the teenager he had never actually allowed himself to be. He gave no orders, made no sound. Just stood and stared helplessly as his friends' bodies lost control.

Masako, alone of everyone, was not watching Naru. Her eyes were still carefully trained on the shadow near the ceiling, the one with the face only she could see. She, too, heard the beeps, but didn't react.

"I may faint when I become possessed," she said. "I don't want to take my eyes off the spirit to lay down, so I would appreciate it if someone could hold on to my arm for a moment." Masako sounded untouched by the tension in the rest of the room, but if you looked closely you could see that she was perched on her toes, every muscle tight with worry. No one did look closely, though.

"Now isn't the time for your little show, Masako," Ayako said. "For God's sakes, Mai and Monk are in serious danger here!"

Masako let out a long breath, half sigh and half preparation for what she was about to do. "I know Mai and Takigawa are in danger. You all have the power to potentially help them. I don't. My Sight has been useless, or near useless. The least I can do is protect Amanda from further harm. I don't know what's causing it, but that spirit is drawn to Amanda, and it won't rest until it gets back to her."

The rest of the SPR crew nodded, understanding her motivation even if they couldn't understand her urgency. Ayako opened her mouth to say more, but changed her mind and closed it again. Denise and Monica looked back and forth between Masako, Naru, and the frantic heart monitors. Their eyes were wide and unblinking.

"Be careful, Masako," Naru said, his voice hoarse and hollow.

Masako glanced at him, her concentration dropped. "You…you've never…"

The spirit lunged. Before the dark fog could get to Amanda, Masako leapt in front of it. It flooded her eyes, nose and mouth, rushing at her so thickly that it obscured her face for a second. Masako coughed once, and when she opened her eyes they were completely fogged over. She stood swaying for a moment, her breath coming out in little uncertain huffs. Her eyelids fluttered as her legs gave way beneath her.

"Masako!" Naru shouted, springing forward. He caught her just before she hit the ground, and he lay her down gently, like she was made of fragile glass.

Amanda watched with wide, terrified eyes. "Did I…" she spoke quietly, barely above a whisper. "Did I do this?"

Monica's eyes were trained on Mai, the beeping of the machines grating on her nerves. "I don't know, Amanda," she said, her eyes red. "I guess we'll find out."

All I could feel or think of was the pain. It was all I could taste, smell, see, or hear. The weight of it squeezed my throat, cutting off my breathing as rivers of knives snaked through my veins. I realize now that He had been holding back on me before, never showing me what He was truly capable of. Here, in our final stand, He was giving it His all. The pain felt enormous and eternal. I began to pray for death.

A flash of white-hot light washed over me and my surroundings, and suddenly the pain ended. I felt weightless, my head spinning with vertigo as I sat up. Am I…Is this what it feels like to die?

I cracked my neck and knuckles, marveling at the sensation. My legs were unsteady as I stood up, my muscles jittery. My eyes slowly adjusted to the sudden change in light, though my vision remained hazy with the after-image left over from the bright flash of light.

Mai stood in front of me, arm still extended in front of her, breathing heavily. Her eyes were narrowed, her teeth partially bared, her nostrils flared.

I froze. My gut told me this was the real Mai (My Mai, I thought, selfishly), but I couldn't be sure anymore. She looked so angry, almost feral. I'd never seen her like this.

"Mai…"I started, though I had no idea what else to say. Any question I asked her, He would know the answer to. She had no secrets from him. But my instincts were telling me that this was her, and though it could have been suicidal, I decided to trust that feeling. "Did He hurt you? Are you alright? We should get somewhere safe, before he—"

"You lied to me," she said, her voice low and full of fire. She grabbed the wrist of her right hand, bracing the outstretched arm, her splayed fingers trembling. "You LIED."

I raised my hands to chest level, palms out. "Wh-what are you talking about? I never—"

"Shut UP," she said. Her eyes grew red as furious tears welled up in them. Her voice felt like a punch in the stomach. "This whole time…you told me you loved me, you held me, god, you kissed me…and it was all a damned lie!"

"No! Mai, please, I'm telling you the truth! I've always told you the truth. I swear, I do love you! When we get out of here, I'll show you, but first we have to—"

"STOP IT." Her throat sounded raw, her words raspy. "You're not Houshou. You've never been Houshou. This was all some sick game to you, wasn't it? Do you always play with your food before you eat it? Does messing with me give you some kind of fucked up pleasure?"

Suddenly I felt nauseous. She thought I was that…that thing. She thought my feelings for her were some horrible trick. I clenched my teeth, my own eyes getting damp, my heart pounding. "Mai," I said, my voice shaking, "look at me. Look me in the eye. I am Houshou. I promise you, I am the man you thought I was. Please, you have to believe me." I spoke slowly, trying to sound as sincere as possible while trying not to let my voice break.

For a moment, Mai faltered, her eyebrows raised, her arm relaxing ever so slightly.

But then the moment was gone. She blinked, shook her head lightly, and strengthened her stance, spreading her feet and bending her knees to ground herself more. Her eyes hardened, narrowed further, and from a distance her irises looked coal-black and deadly. "You're so full of shit," she said, disgusted.

"Mai, please! Listen to me!" I begged.

"Why won't you just fucking kill me, you bastard? Just fucking end it," she spat. She sounded so bitter, so exhausted, so resigned to her fate.

I ground my teeth. "What can I say to convince you?" The desperation in my voice sounded pathetic, but I didn't care. "Anything. I'll do anything, I don't care. Please, you have to trust me, I'm not—"

"You waited too long, asshole. I can't kill you, but god help me, I will hurt you."

I was engulfed in white-hot light before I could even draw a breath. I hadn't even seen her hand starting to glow. The focal point of her shot struck me right in the chest, punching through my rib cage and into my heart. I felt it lodge there, expanding rapidly outward, arrow-sharp pieces of energy-shrapnel exploding through my body. There was so much pain, my body didn't know how to feel it all. My brain and heart and body began to shut down, the neurons flickering off in huge sections like lights on a massive sinking ship.

As my eyes fluttered shut, I saw a shadow rushing toward me. I wanted it to be Mai, but I knew it wasn't. Everything faded away from me, and somewhere in the dimming halls of my mind, I again wondered if this is what it felt like to die.

A/N: I AM THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE. I legitimately feel bad for ending the chapter there, like, that's awful. HOWEVER, since this cliffhanger is so bad, I'm going to try and post chapter 26 tomorrow! It probably won't be until the end of the day, though, because I work tomorrow night, BUT, I promise that you won't have to wait a week for the next chapter, because I'm not THAT big of a jerk (usually...).

As always, thank you SO MUCH for the reviews, you guys are the best. Let me know what you think!

Also, just a clarification for ilovemori9: The dark spirit thing that came out of Amanda (and is now possessing Masako) is Monica's grandfather, but is not the thing that is currently possessing Mai. Sometime in the near(ish) future, the story will explain what's going on a little bit more, but first we have to deal with the thing that's got hold of Mai right now. Sorry that wasn't clear! Hopefully everything will make sense in a few chapters!