A/N: First of all, thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews for chapter 24. I've decided with this story, I'm just going to write until I can write no longer. And if that means FOW makes it to 50 chapters, then so be it :D Here is chapter 25...enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Chapter 25

Addison's POV

Her head nestled against my chest, I watch Laurie as she sleeps. With my arms wrapped around her I run my fingers through her hair. It's the middle of the night – her fifth night in the hospital since she woke up – and it's been over a day now since she gained her memory back. As I lay here I can't help but flashback to when Laurie was a little girl, seeking comfort from Derek and me after a nightmare, or when she was an infant, and would fall asleep in my arms when I sat in the rocking chair. Except now, no matter how much comfort I give to her, this isn't just some nightmare. This is real life, her life, and no matter how hard I try, I can't erase this from her memory.

I run the back of my hand over her cheek as she stirs. Closing my eyes, I breathe in the scent of her hair as I remember everything that's happened within the past few days. I feel a wave of nausea pass through as I think about my daughter being…raped…and all of the horror and pain she must have had to go through, and then internalize. As an OB/GYN I've had patients who have been victims of rape, and I've seen what it can do to them, how much it can damage them. And this time it kills me more than anything else that I can't do anything to fix it; all I can do is sit back and wait for Laurie to be ready to move forward, and who knows how long that will take.

If I could take all of that horror and pain from Laurie and give it to myself I would; seeing her this way, hearing her talk about her attack, and witnessing her panic attack last night, I would give anything to take that kind of pain away from her. My beautiful girl. My little baby. Just the thought of someone hurting her, touching her, makes me want to kill, and I swear if I ever find out who her attacker really is, I will kill him.

Rinny's killer had killed himself right after he hit my girls, driving drunk. Thus, all of the anger I had felt toward the monster that killed my baby I had to direct at other things and other people, because the guy was no longer alive. But this time, the monster is still alive. Still out there. So, I have to do everything in my power to protect the only child I have left. It's just like I told her a few hours ago – I will never let anyone hurt her again.

Before her panic attack, Laurie had told Derek and me to go home for the evening, because she didn't want us to have to sleep in a "stuffy hospital" again. My daughter, always thinking about other people even when she's the one in pain. I had obliged and left with Derek. Despite what Derek said in the on call room about moving forward, however, because Laurie's been a patient in the hospital, I have not yet gone "home" with him, wherever his "home" here is. In fact, I don't think I've even really left this building since Laurie got here, except to get clothes from my hotel room.

Derek and I left last night with the full intention that I would spend the night with him, my "first" night with him. While we still have a long way to go with our marriage and gaining back one another's trust, we need each other right now.

That was until I forgot my sweater, draped over a chair in Laurie's room. I walked back in to grab it only to find my daughter in tears, unable to catch her breath. She doesn't look at me, which is good because I can only imagine my face as I looked at her and felt my heart rip in half. I lay down next to her, cradling her in my arms, in the hopes that I could calm her down. Instead, as she lay there sobbing, my barrier broke and I was crying alongside her. Although my daughter is the most important person in the world to me, crying in front of her is something I've always tried to avoid. I want to be strong for Laurie, yet when it's she who is hurt, it's so easy for me to break.

And now here we are.

Laurie mumbles in her sleep, and I'm afraid she's having a nightmare.

"Shh…I'm right here, honey," I whisper to her over and over, just in case she can hear me. It's not until she settles again that I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding. I kiss the top of her head and hold her tighter.

"Just sleep now, Laurie."

Only a few moments later, I feel myself start to relax and sink into my own fitful slumber.

The next few days passed by in a blur. I told Richard that because of Laurie's condition, I didn't want to be called in for consults or cases. I'll admit that ever since Derek and I…happened…that one time in the on call room, I've been considering taking Richard's offer to stay:

"He's going to want me to move here, Richard, I can tell. To pick up everything and move."

"Don't just stay for him, Addison. Stay for me, stay for yourself, stay for your daughter. I think…I think we both know she's going to need help. She's going to need both of her parents."

"Richard, I…"

"And as a doctor, in Seattle you can be front page news, with your reputation. And the money I'll put in to promoting you, Seattle Grace will become one of the foremost neonatal hospitals west of Manhattan."

Is he being serious?

"You're serious?"

"I'm ready to put my money where my mouth is."

All things considered, it's an amazing offer. But am I being realistic here? I have a daughter to think about. I know Richard was right – she's going to need both Derek and me – but could she handle picking up and moving her life out here too?

Those are the thoughts running through my head as I sit in Laurie's room, evening settling in. I try not to watch her the entire time, to give her some space, but even when I'm not looking at her I can feel her exhaustion and nervousness, and it breaks my heart.

From the corner I hear her take a deep breath and move around slightly.

"What is it, honey?" Derek asks from his chair next to me. Laurie jumps, and I feel a lump bubbling at the bottom of my throat again. I just wish I could do something, anything, to make this better for her. To fix her.

"N-nothing. I'm fine." She closes her eyes, and before I know it I'm moving to sit on the edge of her bed, taking her hand and rubbing soft circles with my thumb. "Fine;" I know that word all too well, especially the dishonesty behind it.

I hear a knock at the door.

"Laurie?" A kind voice says my daughter's name, and without even having to turn around, I know it's Charlie, the boy who saved my daughter's life. Laurie's eyes brighten slightly.

"Hey, Charlie," she smiles lazily. I turn around to look at him. Now walking, Charlie had been discharged a few days ago. For a while he had refused to leave Laurie, but once a few of his teammates came to see him and help him get back to school, and I had told him we would take care of her and keep him updated, he had agreed to leave.

"Laur, I um, I have someone here who would like to see you, if that's okay." His expression is similar to mine – one that reflects watching someone you love be in pain, and not being able to do anything about it. That's just it though – someone you love. Charlie loves my daughter.

If things were normal right now, I'm sure Laurie and I would have had plenty of conversation about this. Someone is in love with my daughter, someone not just looking to use her, and I think...I think I might be okay with it.

I move from the bed to stand beside Laurie, running a hand over the top of her head as she's leaned against her pillow.

Only a moment later, Charlie is walking into her room, followed by someone I think Laurie and I both recognize.

"Well hello there, sweet girl," Irene Miller smiles, looking at Laurie.

"Irene," she smiles back, as I try to hide the surprised expression from my face. My patient from five years ago in New York is currently in my daughter's hospital room in Seattle, and hugging her tightly. Before I say anything, I walk over to Derek and let the scene play out.

"Oh, honey, I'm so glad to see you. I just couldn't believe it when Charlie called me two days ago about the accident. I couldn't believe out of all the people, it was you he'd been with all this time," she sits on the edge of the bed.

Laurie sniffs and wipes a tear from her cheek.

"I'm really glad to see you too," she says. "And I…I couldn't believe it either, but once I…once I found out who Charlie was, I knew I would be safe if I came here with him. He, he saved me." She looks over at Charlie, standing behind his grandmother.

"Once he told us about the accident, his father – my son – decided to come out here straight away. But when I found out it was you he was with, I had to come with him. To see the both of you."

"Well, I appreciate it," Laurie says. "It's been kind of boring around here so far, until my memory…" she stops.

"Shh…I don't need to hear about that right now honey, you just rest, and talk when you need to talk. But between you and me, I think that sister of yours would be mighty proud of you right now."

My heart jumps in my chest; Laurie told Irene about Rinny. I can probably count on one hand the number of people she's trusted enough to talk about her sister with, and that includes her best friends. I clear my throat before this conversation can go any further, and everyone looks at me.

"Why, Dr. Shepherd, I had no idea you were here!" Irene beams at me.

"Irene, these are my parents," Laurie looks at Derek and me. "I think you've met my mother…"

"Yes, yes we've met," I tell her as Derek shakes Irene's hand.

"Well I guess it's only fitting that the doctor who saved my life should have a daughter as lovely as this," Irene hugs me and I smile. Eventually that smile turns into a grimace as I remember how outgoing and talkative this woman is.

"So you were one of Addison's patients then?" Derek asks, sitting down.

"Five years ago, uterine cancer," Irene tells him before I can even open my mouth to speak. "Your wife is an amazing lady, Dr. Shepherd."

Derek looks at me.

"I know," he responds quietly and takes my hand. I feel a tingle go through my fingers at his touch.

"So um, Irene what, what are you doing here?" I ask, even though I already know the answer.

"Well when I heard Charlie was hurt I of course wanted to come and see if he was alright, but then once I heard he was with the little girl I sat next to on the train to Chicago, I knew I had to come. I had to be sure both of them were safe…I had no idea she was yours. My son is here too, but he's still down in the lobby; didn't know if this little one would be up for too many visitors," she turns toward Laurie.

I then hear my daughter say quietly to Charlie that she'd like to meet his father.

"Honey, are you sure you want more people up here?" Derek walks over to her. "You need your rest."

"Dad, I've been resting for days," she sighs. "I don't, I don't think I'm okay just yet, but I…I want people in here. I want you and Mom and…and people I can trust around me right now. It's okay," she takes his hand.

Derek kisses her forehead.

"Okay."

Charlie leaves to go get his father as Irene and I both sit back down. Immediately she asks me if I remember the granddaughter she had told me about during one of her appointments with me. I sigh, and say yes, bracing myself for the long story that lies ahead. Irene's a sweet old lady, I'll give her that, but the woman loves to talk, and used to constantly make me wish I still had more than one child. It was because of her that I became caught between wanting another baby, and being too afraid of replacing the one I lost.

Moments later, Charlie reappears with a middle aged man with dark, wavy hair.

"Laurie, this is my dad, David Miller."

"So this is the famous Laurie my son won't stop talking about?" He shakes her hand. "You must really be something, then." I notice Laurie blush.

"I'm just sorry you had to meet me like this, Mr. Miller," Laurie says.

"Please, call me David," he responds, turning to Derek.

"You must be Laurie's father?"

"I'm Dr. Derek Shepherd," Derek says, putting the emphasis on doctor. I snicker.

"David Miller," he shakes Derek's hand with a firm grip.

"Well David, you've raised a good boy," Derek lets go of his hand, referring to Charlie.

"Thank you," David nods. "I'll admit my wife and I were skeptical at first about letting him drive out here from Chicago for school, but now," he glances at Laurie. "Now I'm sure glad he did."

"Addison and I are too," Derek runs a hand over Laurie's hair. David turns to me.

"It's nice to meet you," I shake his hand, right before Derek's pager goes off.

"It's Dr. Karev, 911…dammit," he mutters. "I have to take this. You'll be okay, honey?" He looks at Laurie.

"Yeah, you can take it Daddy. But tell Alex to come say hi to me again soon," she says quietly.

"Okay. I'll be back as soon as I can, sweetheart," he kisses her forehead then leaves the room.

"Mom, when do you think I'm gonna be able to leave here?"

I look up from my seat next to Irene when I hear Laurie say my name.

"I actually might be able to give you an answer to that," comes a voice from the doorway. It's Izzie.

"Hi, Izzie," Laurie says quietly.

"Well I think that's our cue," Irene pipes up from next to me. "David, why don't you and I take Charlie back to school, and we'll come see Laurie again soon."

"Yeah, we'll leave you alone with one of your hundreds of doctors," Charlie smirks.

"Hey, there are only two of us now," Izzie sets down Laurie's chart which I have to restrain myself from looking at.

"Whatever man, that's still two too many."

"This coming from a guy who wants to be a doctor when grows up," Laurie turns her head to look at Charlie. A doctor? Now this I didn't know. Impressive.

"Hey, that doesn't mean I have to go hanging around with a whole dozen of them just yet," he laughs. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Laurie. Feel better soon."

"Okay, thanks so much for coming to see me, and it was nice meeting you," she says to David.

"You get some rest honey, I'll be back to see you soon," Irene smiles as the three of them leave the room.

"They seem like a nice bunch," Izzie observes after they leave.

"Yeah, well you know Charlie, but that was his dad and grandmother. Mom and I know his grandmother from…well from New York."

"So, already meeting the parents, hmm?" Izzie winks at Laurie, who blushes again, and I chuckle.

"No she certainly is not 'meeting the parents,' Dr. Stevens," I cut in.

"Mom!"

"I'm sorry, honey, but you're officially no longer allowed to meet any parents again until you're 40…and I'm dead." I don't want her to know I'm okay with her and Charlie just yet...let her think I'm the overprotective mother for a little longer.

"Okay for one, when I'm 40 you'll only be 63; nowhere near death. And two, no way."

Our banter is almost making me feel like she's back to normal again, well…relatively speaking.

Izzie laughs. "Any headaches today, Laurie?"

"Not until right now…" she mutters and I shoot her a look. "It kind of hurt this morning, but it gets better as the day goes on. When um, when can I be discharged?" She asks as Izzie listens to her heartbeat underneath her gown.

"Well Dr. Peterson would like to do one more head CT before you leave just to confirm that there's still no bleed, but because you did have brain surgery, we would like to keep you for another week or so."

Laurie groans.

"Laurie," I give her another look.

"Sorry, Izzie. I just…I just wanna go home, and not be a patient anymore," she sighs, and I feel a clench in my chest. I still have to tell her about possibly moving to Seattle.

"I know," Izzie responds. "As much as we love having you around here, I totally understand. But you're almost there. Dr. Wyatt will want to talk with you some more too, but we can cross that bridge later."

"Oh yeah…that," Laurie mutters.

"You just talk when you're ready, honey," I sit next to her on the bed and she nods.

"Alright well your vitals are good, minimal headaches…I think you're set for the night miss Laurie," Izzie smiles and writes in the chart.

"Thanks," Laurie smiles. "Now please tell me you get to go home now? I know you've been here for at least 15 hours."

"Laurie, you don't tell the interns they get to go home…that's not how it works," I chuckle.

"It's alright Dr. Shepherd," Izzie walks toward the doorway. "But to be totally honest with my patient, yes I am. And I have a date tonight," she smirks.

"I expect to hear all about it!" Laurie calls out.

"Hey now, I don't kiss and tell. Okay, maybe I do, but I'm drawing a line here."

"Fine," Laurie pouts. "Night, Izzie."

"You, young lady, are totally breaching the doctor/patient attachment thing I told you about," I say to Laurie, still sitting on her bed.

"Yeah…but I miss my friends, so I take what I can get I guess."

"Hey, speaking of friends, honey there's something I need to talk to you about," I run a hand through her hair, playing with the ends.

"Okay, what is it?"

"Well, your dad will want to talk to you too, but…"

"Mom, just tell me already."

"Okay, well Dr. Webber, the Chief of Surgery here, he um, he offered me a job."

"A job? As in like, you work here full time?"

"Yes, that kind of job. Needless to say he offered a lot – a full staff, my own floor, the works. But…that means we wouldn't be living in New York anymore."

"Wait, but what does that mean for you and Dad?"

"Your Dad and I…we talked a few days ago and we've decided we're going to give our marriage another shot."

For the second time today, I see another genuine smile on Laurie's face, and I smile.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," I smile.

"It's not just because I'm here in the hospital though, right? I mean, I don't want to make this about me when it's not, but I don't…Mom I don't want to see you get hurt again."

I place a hand on her cheek, rubbing it with my thumb.

"No, baby. We want to make this work, for you of course, but…well we love each other. We've made our share of mistakes, but we want to work through it."

"Wow Mom, I…I'm really happy to hear you say that," she smiles.

"But…that brings back the question. Dad doesn't want to go back to New York because of, well because of certain people there."

"Uncle Mark," she finishes.

"Yeah," I sigh.

"So he wants us to move here?"

"Yes."

"But what about our friends, my friends, my soccer team, your practice?"

"I would close the practice and work full time in the hospital here. And I know, moving here would mean leaving your friends…"

Laurie sighs.

"I'm not going to lie, my best friends have been there for me for a lot of things, and leaving them will be hard, but there are always phones. And I can always find another soccer team. Mom, my family is with you and Dad, and where you go, I go."

"Well first of all honey, that's because you're 16 and I'm your mother, so you go where I say you go," I joke.

"That's such an abuse of the Mom card…" Laurie mutters. "I'm gonna sick Dad on you."

"Seriously though, Laurie, you'd be okay with this? Moving out here? Starting over?"

She sighs. "Yeah, I think it could be good for us. And besides, I've never lived on the west coast before. This could call for some new life experiences…like getting addicted to coffee or something."

I laugh. "Boy am I glad to have you back," I lean over so I'm lying next to her.

"Mom," she says after a moment.

"What is it, honey?"

"I…I'm not going to lie, I'm still nervous. I still don't want anyone to touch me…but I think with Irene coming today, and with you and Dad and everyone here being so nice and supportive, I think, I mean I want, I want to get better. I want to move past this and live my life again, you know?"

"I know," I say quietly, rubbing her arm.

"I'm just saying, I'm willing to do the work. I want to do the work."

I turn my head to her. "That's so great to hear, honey."

"But I need you to put this behind you too, and Daddy."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I see the way you've been looking at me recently, and when I've been having my…my panic attacks, and I hate it. I hate how much pain this is causing you guys, when you have your own stuff to work out, and I just…"

I cut her off. "Lauren Maureen, you are the most important thing in the world to your dad and me, and so what if we have our own issues to work out? When it comes to you, we will always be a team, no matter what happens to our marriage. So you telling me or Dad not to hurt when you hurt is like telling a fish to breathe air – it's not going to happen. You understand me?"

"Yes, I understand. I don't like it, but I understand."

"Good," I kiss her temple.

"But Mom, one more thing."

I look at her.

"I think…I think you should go, for the night I mean. You've been sleeping here so much, and I know the last time I told you to leave for the night I had my…episode, but I think this time I'm okay. This could be a good first step, and you and Dad need to be alone."

I swallow.

"But…"

"No buts. I'm ready, I can do this, and you need to do this. Have Dad page you or something when he's done with his patient, and go home together."

"Laurie, are you sure?" I look her in the eye.

"Yes, I'm sure," she kisses my forehead, and before she can pull back I wrap my arms around her.

"Okay then," I mumble into her shoulder. "I love you, baby," I whisper.

"I love you too, Mommy," she squeezes me tighter. "Now go find Dad and get some actual sleep," she nudges me to get off the bed.

"Alright, alright, I'm going."

"Oh, could you send Daddy up here though, before you leave? I just wanna say goodnight to him."

"Of course I will, sweetheart. Love you," I blow her a kiss before leaving the room.

"Night, Mom."

The drive out to Derek's trailer – that's right, trailer – three hours after I said goodnight to Laurie feels long and almost like we will never get there. I'll admit I am still hesitant about spending the night this far away from her; after a week of not knowing where she was, and after what happened to her, a part of me never wants to spend another night away from her again. But I know eventually she wouldn't appreciate me being that overprotective. No, I know she's safe, and we all need to move forward a little bit.

"Derek, how much longer is it?" I ask.

"Addison you do realize that we haven't even been on the road for that long?"

"Yeah, that's because we've been on a ferry, crossing the ocean!"

"Okay for one thing it wasn't the ocean, it was the sound, and for another, I bet once we actually get there, you'll like it a lot more than you think," Derek glances at me as we stop at the only red light on Bainbridge Island.

"Honestly, I still don't understand why you came all the way out here just to live in a trailer," I retort.

"It's not 'just a trailer,'" Derek responds. "I also happen to own 40 acres of land surrounding it, which at first I had no idea what to do with, but now I'm thinking about building on."

I'm quiet at this. Although we're on track to reconciling, Derek and I haven't exactly discussed the whole New York situation as much as I'd like, and I still worry about Laurie.

It's getting late in the evening and the sun is getting lower in the sky. It's nearing 9 PM but since it's late June, it's still light out. As we keep driving, I look out the window at all of the tall trees and green grass. Derek wasn't entirely wrong – this land is beautiful, but is it for me? For Laurie?

"Well I'll give you this much – it is pretty out here," I tell him.

"And lucky for you we are just about here," Derek says as he pulls his Jeep up to what literally looks like an enlarged tin can in a meadow.

"Seriously?" I raise an eyebrow at him. Not that I think living in a trailer out here is beneath me, but still, transitioning from the brownstone on the Upper West Side to this might take a little while.

"Oh come on," Derek says, getting out of the car and opening the back to take out my suitcase. "I think Laurie's gonna love it. She can take her soccer ball and kick it around in her own backyard, because she'll actually have a yard."

"Derek," I sigh as we walk up to the trailer. "We…we still need to talk about this a little more."

"About what?"

"This," I wave my arms for emphasis. "You living here, us having a home in New York. Laurie's home is in New York; I know she said she'd be okay with it, but do you really think she's just gonna want to pack everything and move, especially after…after what happened?" My voice gets quiet. "I guess I'm just afraid that she's saying she's okay with it now, but then once we actually do relocate here, she's gonna hate it, or hate me for making her stay here."

Derek unlocks the front door and takes my suitcase inside, me following. Immediately I look around, taking in my surroundings. I gasp involuntarily, which doesn't go unnoticed by him, when I see Laurie's bags in a corner and before he can answer my questions.

"The police officer who ran the accident report gave those to me a few days ago," he says quietly. "Before Laurie got her memory back I went down to the police station to claim them. I just figured she would want them when she gets discharged."

I swallow, imagining Laurie travelling across the country with those two bags in tow. There's a sleeping bag attached to the larger one – her camping backpack – and my mind immediately flashes to her sleeping alongside the road and I have to keep from having a panic attack of my own.

"And um," I start, composing myself. "Just how are all three of us going to fit in here?"

"The couch folds out into a bed. Look, Addison, we both made mistakes. Both of us, and I realize that now," he sets down my suitcase and sits on the edge of the bed. I move to sit next to him. "I was…indifferent to you and Laurie this past year, and I was absent. I let the offer for Chief of Surgery get in the way of my family and I should never have done that. And you had a one-night stand with my best friend."

I look down at my hands as he says this, guilt weighing heavy in the pit of my stomach.

"I'm not excusing what you did," he continues. "But I realize…I realize now that-"

"All I ever wanted was you, Derek," I interrupt. "Not Mark, not anyone else. You. But you weren't there."

"Which is why I think we need a fresh start, all of us," Derek finishes. "I…I know I said we should give our marriage another try, but I'm not ready to go back to New York. I don't want to go back there and have to see his face every day." I know he means Mark.

"I know you said that already, and I have been thinking about it. But our daughter…"

"Will need time to heal," Derek sighs, and I feel a wave of emotion pass through me. I don't like thinking about her in pain for a long period of time.

"And I think the best place for her to do that would be here." He looks at me.

"And…and you and Meredith?" I say quietly, meeting his gaze.

"Meredith and I…it was complicated, but I ended it. Because when it comes down to it, no matter what happened between us, Meredith isn't my family. She isn't the woman I married and had children with. She isn't you, Addison, and I think it took you and Laurie coming here for me to realize that. I can't just put my entire past behind me and start over. If I start over, I start over with my family – with you and Laurie. Laurie doesn't know about Meredith either, and we agreed that's for the best. Meredith knows what it's like to be an only child with separated parents…she didn't want that for Laurie."

By the time Derek is finished talking, I can feel the tears prickle in my eyes, but I don't let them show. I'm also surprised at what Meredith said. I clear my throat.

"You know, when you left there was a part of me that never thought I would see you again. We had grown apart so much and I…I don't even know if I could explain why. And what I did, you're right – there's no excusing it. But just the thought of never seeing you again, of throwing away all of that history…and then adding Laurie on top of that, Derek I am so sorry. I hope you know that."

He takes my hand in his and rubs circles on top of it with this thumb.

"I do know that. But we're going to move forward."

A couple of hours later, the both of us are ready to turn in for the night. It's quiet outside, aside from the sound of crickets and the trees blowing in the wind. I feel almost as though we are back at the cabin we used to stay at during the summer in upstate New York, until the year Rinny died. It didn't seem right to go back after that, and none of us wanted to.

Derek took me around parts of the land before it got too dark. There's a creek on one end – where he goes fishing – and on another is a hill with the most beautiful view I think I've ever seen. And he was right – I can definitely picture our daughter out here with her soccer ball. As we walked back to the trailer, Derek told me that hill was where he intended to build; a house with big windows and lots of open space. It got me to thinking more and more that we could make this work, even more so with Richard's offer for me to sign a contract with Seattle Grace. We'd be giving up a lot, but we could be gaining so much more.

Now, I step out of the very small bathroom in my long-sleeved flannel pajamas – Laurie's favorite to snuggle up to, and my favorite to wear for that very reason. Derek is sitting up in bed with a book, just like old times. I take in a deep breath. I know I shouldn't be nervous to sleep in the same bed as my husband; we've been sleeping together, in more ways than one, for 18 years. It's just that now, it's not old times. It's the first time since Mark and Meredith. We've put each other through so much over these past few months, and throughout our marriage, it's almost as though we're two puzzle pieces finally connecting again after so much time apart.

He looks up at me.

"Just because we're in the woods doesn't mean you have to break out the flannel, Addie," he jokes. Even though they're my favorite, I still only wear them during really cold winters or when Laurie is feeling particularly cuddly.

"I know," I give a small smile, sitting on the edge of the bed and facing him. "I just needed something a little more comforting to sleep in."

We sit there for a moment in silence, neither of us really knowing what to say next.

"I um," I start, breaking the silence. "I think I'm gonna call the hospital one more time before we go to sleep, just to check on Laurie." I reach for my phone on the shelf above the bed.

"Addison," Derek grabs my wrist lightly before I can pick it up. Sitting on my knees on the bed, I look at him. "You called the hospital an hour ago, and she was sleeping. Karev is on call tonight, and he agreed to check on her every hour; Laurie will be okay. They'll call if something serious happens."

I sigh.

"Come here," Derek undoes the sheets on my side – yes, my side – of the bed and I slide in. I'm sitting close enough that our shoulders are touching, but I don't move any closer than that.

"I know…I know I shouldn't be so paranoid, but when I didn't know where she was for that week I was so scared…all the time…and she got hurt from the accident and from…" I swallow. "Look I'm sorry if this makes me act like I'm the mother of a five year old instead of a sixteen year old, but no matter how old she gets she's always gonna be my baby…and I can't help but feel nervous, being away from her right now, even if she told me to go home." The tears are prickling again. "I love her so much, Derek," I choke. "And I'm afraid that after everything that's happened over the past year, she…she doesn't know that."

Derek takes hold of my hand.

"She knows you love her Addie," he whispers, and I look into his eyes. "You've stayed by her side the entire time she's been in the hospital, no matter if any of her doctors told you to leave. You've been there for her for her entire life. You've been an amazing mother, despite your own being so cold and withholding…no offense," he smiles sheepishly. "You're her best friend, Addison, and she loves you too."

I exhale, using the back of my other hand to wipe a couple of tears from my cheek. Still looking at Derek, I smile at him.

"And I…I love you, Derek. I'll always love you."

He moves his hand to my cheek and I lean into it.

"I love you too, Addie."

After sliding further down into the sheets, Derek turns off the light and we both lie facing one another. I intentionally tangle my feet with his as we slowly lean forward and he presses his lips to mine. He pulls back after a minute though, just looking at me. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about us having sex tonight – if it would happen, and when. That last time, in the on call room…I had felt more connected to my husband than I had in a long time, but now, now I think we need to move at a slower pace, because we still have so far to go.

Derek pushes my hair behind my ear and runs his thumb over my cheek.

"You need to sleep," he whispers, kissing my forehead.

"I think we both do," I wrap an arm around him.

I kiss him one more time, allowing him to slowly slip his tongue into my mouth as I gently rub his back through the cotton of his white t-shirt.

"Goodnight, Addison," he says after we break apart.

"Goodnight, honey," I say quietly, snuggling into his chest.

I smile against him when I realize he's just allowed me to call him "honey" again, and for the first time in what feels like forever, we fall asleep in each other's arms.

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