CPOV

Elena just wouldn't give up. Shortly after she exited my office she called me, demanding I go to a new club downtown. Said she overheard Ana's best friend and her student, Katherine Kavanagh conversing about her birthday and the grand opening of the club, Insomnia, early today. She easily put the two and two together.

I was reluctant of course. It all felt off. Nonetheless, with my desire to see Ana seizing my rationale, I ignored the red flags and went. No questions asked.

It was only seconds after I arrived that I saw the fault in my judgment and had me internally fuming and dialing Elena's number.

She had answered on the first ring.

"What the fuck did you do?" My tone ejected threateningly.

The line was silent for a long moment. When she finally spoke, her voice was unapologetically jovial. "So you've seen my surprise."

I glanced over at the woman I vaguely remembered being introduced to by Elena. Our gazes met. Direct. It burned and ate holes in me.

"You mentioned nothing about this."

"Oh, calm down." She says nonchalantly. "Besides… you never asked."

"Because I never thought you'd go so low as to do this!"

The nerve. Her voice said it all. No concern. Docile temperament. She's fucking me over. Us over. And for what?

Silence hanged.

"I know what you're thinking…" Oh, this should be good. "You think I'm a fool. You think that I've fucked both of us over because I couldn't keep my nose out of places where it doesn't belong." Yes and yes. "And now you're wondering why. Why the risk?" Ding ding ding! "So tell me, Christian. Why did I do it?"

Each word chips at me, pushing out my anger. "Hmm let me think…. Because you lost your fucking mind? I pray to god that's the answer because that's the only fucking reason why that woman is here, standing just feet away from me!" I'm yelling. Very uncharacteristic of me.

"You're angry…" Her speedy recognition of my temper throws me, but just as quickly I put myself back in check. Emotions, especially anger, put me in a vulnerable position. One where she can taunt me, needle me, break me. And in a wave of clarity, I quickly formulate what her endgame of tonight may be.

The assessment weakens me, and I have to find my footing – reel back in my composed bearings before she gets her way – stripping them from me.

I begin to pace. Squeezing my hands into fists to slow my overworked mind. I then rake a hand through my hair – a reflex I use to rein in my rage. In seconds, I'm noticeably calmer. "Of course I'm angry. I'm just… frustrated and I don't take being blindsided very well. There are rules, you know."

"No rules were broken, Christian. I simply saw an opportunity and took it. Besides, I did it for you."

I tense from her words. It just wasn't plausible. Her own motives would always outweigh mine. This was for her. Whether it is to see if Ana breaks under pressure or me, I can't quite determine yet, but god knows she's been trying to reel me back in for years.

More composed now, it's my turn to pick at her – attempting to solve her true aim. "This is one big risk. We could lose everything."

"We won't." Her voice sharpened. "Look, Christian. I'm not just anyone. I don't put out fictional bullshit for people to glaze over on their way to work every morning. My work… it's quintessential. I make a difference. Real change on issues and topics that are brushed aside or forgotten. We risk now so that others don't have to down the line. And possibly save lives for people...people like Mia." My sister's name leaving her lips feels like a serrated knife cutting into my flesh. "So what if I improvised a little. You'll thank me one day after all of this is over."

The rage stirs back inside me, bringing my hands into white-knuckled fists. The force is so strong I wondered if I'd crush the phone in my bare hand.

"I can't do this."

"You can't or you won't?" Her disappointment oozes through the line.

I shifted. "Is there a difference."

"You know there is."

This was absurd. Elena was quickly becoming the bane of my existence. She was enjoying this too much. It was then that I realized it didn't matter what I said. She'd find a way to make my life a living hell if I don't at least try to play along with her scheme tonight.

I take a deep breath, and let it out slowly – a sign of my defeat. She won this time, but I'll be damned if she blindsides me again.

"I've got to go," Someone in my peripheral catches my attention. I curse when I see it's Rowan stalking towards me.

"Play nice." Were Elena's last words before disconnecting.

I don't know why I expected to get more out our conversation. Elena was as good at manipulation as I am. She had successfully planted her seed of persuasion; setting her game and authority over me back into its place.

And just like that, like a snap of a finger, Elena got what she had wanted twice over. She struck gold. My out of the blue affection towards Rowan spurred Ana to spiral – the exact reaction Elena desired. Luckily I was able to reel her back in. Unfortunately, I was unable to save myself. Another piece of tonight's endgame that she secretly had wanted.

I thought the urge was gone. I thought I didn't need that type of control anymore. I thought with time the urge would die out. I convinced myself a hundred times that it wouldn't happen – that I was strong enough. But just as many times, I convince myself maybe I wasn't. Maybe I was prolonging the enviable.

And sure enough, I was.

I can sense my former self slipping its way back. Tonight was just a glimpse of what I am capable of. And I'm afraid.

Afraid for her.

Afraid of myself.