"Can you believe it Dei, in just a couple weeks you'll be in your third trimester, then only a few more months and then little Ebizou or Shiore'll be around, and our lives will change forever…" Sasori said, rubbing the pregnant bomber's belly while the blond sat in his lap.
"Yeah, then he'll get older, we'll teach him different jutsu, then when he's eighteen and we invite him over for Christmas he'll say he can't because he's spending it with his girlfriend's parents. He's only known the skank two weeks danna! Two weeks and we raised him for eighteen fuckin' years!! She'll leave him just as soon as she figures out he has two dads and break my boy's heart!! I'll kill the bitch!!" Deidara yelled, as Sasori had to start restraining him.
"Let's just worry about getting him out of you first, and since when did you want a boy?"
"Since I decided I don't like the name you gave him, I wanna name him something else."
"Really, what's so wrong with Ebizou?"
"It just sounds so…old, let's name him something else."
"Fine, what'd you have in mind?"
"Ok, how about…Tsuba?"
"Tsuba…that sounds alright, but I'm gonna have a hard time explaining it to Ebizou."
"Forget Ebizou, it's our kid."
"I know, I know." Sasori said, stroking Deidara's hair as the blond started to fall asleep. "I love you Dei."
"Love you danna…" Deidara mumbled, curling up and falling asleep.
#
"Ahh fuckin' shit!!" Hidan yelled before retching into the toilet again.
"It's alright, this'll be gone before you know it." Kakuzu said rubbing the immortal's back.
"I want it gone fuckin' now!..."
"You'll just have to wait. Now in a few months you can get a sonogram, you want one?"
"Was die Hölle," Hidan said, turning around to signal he was finished. "Couldn't hurt."
"Alright, you want some mouthwash or something?"
"Yeah, I hate this acidy taste, dammit."
Kakuzu smiled and mussed up Hidan's hair, grabbing a bottle of Listerine and handing it to the younger man.
"I'll go get you something to eat, anything specific?"
"How about a sandwich with…bacon and whipped cream." Hidan said, filling the bottle's cap with mouthwash before he began swishing it.
"Eww, alright." Kakuzu said, helping his lover up before leaving for the kitchen.
The stitched old man exited his and Hidan's room, walking down the hallway into the kitchen. Itachi, Kisame, and Tobi were all sitting there already, the shark and the weasel lost in conversation.
"But it was Zetsu, in Konan! And it was all weird and, eww!" The weasel said, not impressing his blue lover.
"So? I'm a blue sharkman, what d'you think someone would do walking in on us? Besides, it was weeks ago."
"How come Zetsu-san never did stuff like that with me?" Tobi asked.
"Because he doesn't like you like he likes Konan."
Kakuzu continued in, reaching in the fridge and pulling out a can of whipped cream and a pack of bacon.
The others looked at him with disgust, as he put a frying pan on the stove and grabbed the loaf of bread.
"What are you doing?" Itachi asked, as Kakuzu ripped open the pack of bacon and tossed it in the pan.
"Making Hidan a sandwich, you'd have cravings like this too if you were pregnant." Kakuzu replied, irritating the Uchiha.
"Kisame, I really want a baby!"
"What do you want me to do, Sasori and Deidara won't let us in their room and every time we sneak in we're caught."
The Uchiha grumbled and pouted, señor Hoshigaki pulling him closer to him and patting his back.
"You two are weird." Kakuzu said, taking the freshly fried bacon and putting it on a slice of bread before spraying the whipped cream on.
"Kakuzu said, making a whipped cream and bacon sandwich for his pregnant boyfriend." Kisame replied, Itachi and Tobi giggling.
"Yeah, make sure to tell me when you get a baby, Itachi." Kakuzu said, walking out with Hidan's sandwich.
He walked back to his and Hidan's room to find the other immortal laying on his back, appearing asleep.
"Dumbass…" Kakuzu mumbled, walking to his lover and joining him in bed. "Make me get you a sandwich then fall asleep."
Hidan unconsciously cuddled up to his seme, nuzzling into his neck. Kakuzu smirked and held the sandwich to the uke, who sniffed it a little before taking a bite.
"Sure you're asleep, but how could you eat this?" Kakuzu asked, sniffing the sandwich himself before taking a small bite.
Kakuzu suddenly found his third love in the world, and it was a very odd sandwich.
"Holy shit this is good…" He whispered to himself, taking another bite from the sandwich.
He looked down to see his albino biting on his arm, obviously looking for his sandwich. Then came the choice:
Sex or sandwich.
He could always make another sandwich, but he wanted the sandwich now! On the other hand, If he ate the sandwich Hidan would get mad and he couldn't have sex for a while, what to do…
"Here you go." He said, putting the sandwich back in Hidan's face and watching him eat.
#
"Zetsu, why'd you ever leave Kusa?" Konan asked while the two laid in bed cuddling.
"It's a long story, but in a nutshell the daimyo's daughter went missing, and we got blamed." Zetsu replied, intriguing his blue haired lover.
"Did you eat her?"
"No, no, we just happened to walk into his office after eating and he freaked out."
"Zetsu, would you eat me?"
"Not if our lives depended on it."
Konan giggled, before suddenly clutching her stomach in pain. She rolled out of Zetsu's arms and ran to the bathroom, the sound of vomiting following. Zetsu ran after her, holding her hair back as she gagged into the toilet.
"What happened, are you alright?"
"I don't know, I just, just felt really sick all of a sudden…"
"Well finish up in here then get to bed, you should be resting."