Sorry for any errors, I'm only human. Besides my computer's having an actual meltdown. -.- Enjoy!
MERCEDES' POV
She saw it coming before it even happened.
The moment Sam froze at the sound of Alex's voice, she knew what would happen. There was so unnervingly familiar that took over him which easily reminded her of the way he'd looked when he'd been standing before Derrick at the wedding reception.
So she knew what was coming-she knew that he'd had every intention of hurting Alex. And truthfully it gave her a bad feeling instantly. She knew this part of Sam existed, but she'd never seen him become completely overcome by it. She never thought she would either. And when it happened, she hadn't known what to do.
He looked almost like he was fit to kill-his body was tense, his fists clenched, his eyes were dark with anger, and his face was hard. He walked stiffly, as if there was someone or something else controlling him. And he never looked at her. Despite his past, it all seemed out of character for him to her and she wished she could understand it.
To someone who didn't really know know him, someone who didn't love him, he might have looked terrifying. But to Mercedes, he simply looked hurt.
She was disappointed in the way he had handled it and how he had approached Alex. But she saw his pain. She could see his anger, too, but more than anything; pain. She could clearly see that he was suffering in more ways than one and she hated it. But nonetheless, it wasn't an excuse for what he'd said to Alex. It was obvious that the words had wounded everyone in the room but the sheer pain that fell upon Alex's face had hurt even more to see. She felt so incredibly bad for him, she knew the power of guilt and how badly it could cripple a person. So she couldn't in good conscious let him leave without saying something.
No one seemed to have noticed when she quietly left the room in the middle of the family dispute. She walked quickly down the hallway, her eyes darting around the building in search of him as she moved. She spotted him sitting on a chair just before the elevator, his face buried in his hands. It occurred to her then that she hadn't actually met him and she wasn't exactly sure how to approach him. But she wouldn't walk away, she couldn't. Especially now that she was looking at him, quite obviously upset. So she took a deep breath as she moved towards him, stopping just a couple feet away from him.
"Alex?" she called. His head shot up quickly and he turned to look at her, his eyes squinting as if adjusting to the light and his cheeks wet. "I'm Mercedes," she introduced with a gentle smile. He sniffed as he sat up, drying his cheeks with his hands.
"You're Sam's girlfriend," he noted in a slightly trembling voice. She nodded and he smiled weakly as he nodded, too. "Sarah was thinking of inviting you to her graduation," he told her. She inhaled as she looked down at her hands.
"Yeah, I-I heard." she replied, a sudden ache in her stomach. "And she still could," she said optimistically, because frankly it was starting to bother her how everyone seemed to be speaking as if Sarah were already dead. Alex smirked as he looked at her.
"Yeah," he breathed. "I guess you're right," he shrugged, wiping his tearing eyes again. It pained her to see him trying to contain himself. She could only imagine what he must have been feeling.
"Look, Alex, I just wanted to apologize for what happened in there-," she began.
"I know," he said. "But you don't have to apologize for him-,"
"Oh trust me, I'm not apologizing for him," she told him. "What he said was-" she shook her head, with no words coming to her quickly enough. "I didn't come out here to talk about him, everything that he needs to say to you, he will say." she told him. "Sam's a really good guy." she said, chuckling to herself only a moment later. "So much for not talking about him," she muttered and Alex chuckled weakly next to her before falling silent again. "I know we don't know each other," Mercedes began again. "but I heard what happened and I just wanted to make sure that you know that none of this is your fault," she told him. Alex chewed his bottom lip as he nodded, a tear falling down his cheek. He was silent for a moment before his face fell into his hands again and then he was crying quietly. Mercedes eyes watered as she looked at him and then she cautiously rested her hand on his back, and to her surprise, he didn't tense. He cried for a moment longer before sighing and sitting up again, and Mercedes' hand retreated to her lap.
"It's been tearing me apart," he admitted and Mercedes' heart ached at his words. "I didn't know what to do," he said, shaking his head as he wiped his eyes once more. "I was just taking her home. We went to a movie and got some food and I was just-just driving her home and she-," he paused exhaling loudly and Mercedes watched as his legs began to shake as if he couldn't sit still. "I didn't know what to do," he cried quietly as he stood abruptly, his hands wiping his eyes again as he walked towards the wall in front of him. Shaking her head, Mercedes stood and followed him.
"How could you know?" she asked him rhetorically. He didn't respond, only leaned his forehead and his folded overlapping arms against the wall as he continued to weep quietly while she stood to the side of him. It was a painful thing to watch-him blaming himself for something that he clearly had no control over.
"Hey," she said as he began to calm down again. "Hey, this isn't your fault, okay? None of this is your fault." she told him. He stood still for a moment before he nodded and stood up straight again. He sighed as his hands traveled up his face and then through his short cropped brown hair before allowing his arms to fall limply to his side. Smiling weakly as he looked down at the shorter girl, he nodded again.
"Thank you," he said. "Thanks for coming after me." he continued gratefully, chuckling softly afterwards. "We're practically strangers," he noted. And she smiled.
"Trust me, I've been in weirder situations with a stranger," she replied, remembering the week she'd spent living with Sam after having only met him a couple of days before. Alex raised his eyebrows in curiosity as he listened and smiled. "And anyway, I was just telling you the truth. No need to thank me," Mercedes said and his lips tightened as he nodded again. A very short silence fell between them before he exhaled and fidgeted with the sleeves of the blue flannel shirt he was wearing.
"I think I should go home and get some sleep-haven't actually been in my bed in the last couple days." he said. "This is sort of becoming a family thing anyway so," he shrugged and Mercedes frowned as she listened but it was clear there was no stopping him. "See you later, alright?" he said as he pressed the button for the elevator and the doors slid open shortly after.
"Okay," she replied, watching as he stepped in and she waved as the doors began to close again.
As she walked back towards the room, she wasn't sure that she'd gotten through to Alex at all and that tugged at her a bit. But she took comfort in knowing that she'd at least done what she could.
She was slowly approaching the room door, wondering what happened after she'd left when suddenly Sam came out of it, his eyes wide and his skin pale. And that was when she stopped in her place. He didn't see her at first so she didn't move, only stood watching him as he buried his face in his hands for a moment before dropping his arms to his side again, and shaking them a bit as if to release some anxiety. She didn't know exactly what she felt upon seeing him for the first time since what happened a little while earlier, but she did notice that he looked different-sick almost.
She felt a chill run through her when he finally did look at her and she watched as his eyes seemed to instantly return to normal size, his entire being suddenly relaxed, and the blood rushed back into his cheeks. She didn't quite understand it nor did she have time to form attemp to because he was moving towards her, his hands stuffed in his jean pockets as his his eyes burned into hers.
"I thought you left," he said quietly once he'd closed the distance between them, looking down at his feet for a moment before returning his gaze to her. Mercedes understood then why his everything had suddenly been restored to normal when he saw her-he was relieved.
"Where would I go?" she asked. "I'm in Tennessee, Sam." she said through a slight smile. Despite her disappointment in him, she wouldn't leave him that way, but she understood why he would think she would. His father had always left when things got tough, and he had even partially become that person. It only made sense that he would think she would leave him, too. The thought of it put made her heart feel heavy and she had to admit it softened her a bit.
Sam chuckled quietly as his head fell for a moment before looking at her again. He sighed as a silence surrounded them.
"Where's Alex?" he asked her, after a little while, looking above her head and down the hall.
"He did leave," she told him and he swore under his breath before looking back down at her. Mercedes bit her lip curiously as she looked at him, the question heavy on her mind. "What happened in there, Sam?" she asked and his eyes met hers, something in them that she couldn't identify.
"I just lost it," he said. "I just-I don't even fucking know. I just-," he shrugged, giving up the chase for the right words. It was quiet between them then, and she guessed he was expecting her to move on from it. But she genuinely wanted to understand. He sighed as he looked at her. "I feel like shit about it," he said and something like irritation quickly warmed her skin.
"I'm sure Alex feels a lot worse," she snapped back. Sam's eyebrows furrowed for a moment before relaxing again and he sighed, scratching the bottom of his chin before speaking again.
"I know it was bad," he admitted. "I was being a complete jackass. I came out here to apologize to him-and to find you-but now he's gone," he groaned. "I wouldn't know what to say either." he said. "What am I supposed to say?" he asked almost to himself, his jaw tensing and his brows in a hard line. "I fucked up," he whispered to himself. And she could almost see him mentally tearing himself apart, limb from limb. She couldn't stand to see him beating himself up as he often did.
"Sam, don't." she said, looking up at him as he looked straight past the top of her head, his face still hard. "None of us are above messing up, we all say things we shouldn't sometimes, we're human beings." she told him. "What happened was bad but don't use your energy beating yourself up over it, just fix it." she continued, with him still not looking at her. Reaching up, she placed her hand on his cheek and brought his gaze down to hers, feeling his face soften beneath her touch. "Sam," she called and he was frowning as he looked down at her. "Sam, you don't get to do this. You don't get to shut down after you've hurt someone. Okay? You just have to make it right. You have to think about what Alex is feeling." she told him. Sam nodded as he listened to her.
"I still have no idea what I'm even gonna say. I barely know the guy," he said, clearly exhausted with the thought of it as her hand fell from his cheek.
"He knows you, Sam." she replied. "If she talks about you as much as you talk about her, he knows you," she told him and he smiled softly down at her. "You'll know what to say when it's time." she promised him.
With that, Sam nodded before pulling her into him and wrapping her in a hug.
"Thank you for staying-for even talking to me after all that," he said into the embrace, his hands falling on either of her cheeks while he kissed her softly on the forehead once he'd released her and she grinned at his touch.
"Well, I dunno if you've noticed but, I'm kind of ridiculously in love with you," she replied and he laughed as she repeated his own words from the past. She smiled, stepping on her tip toes to return the kiss to his forehead. "I'm not gonna leave you, Sam." she told him, taking her hand in his as they walked towards the room again.
When they entered the room, the doctor was inside talking to his parents. Mercedes and Sam listened in as he told them just how much progress Sarah had made just by moving her feet. Just as he prepared to leave, Sam stopped him.
"I just have a question," he told the doctor and Dr. Edwards nodded as he took off his glasses. Sam quickly introduced himself before continuing with his inquiry. "I'm just wondering how this happened exactly," Sam said. "I mean, how is it possible that she's like," he paused gesturing to his sister unconscious in the bed, "that. And Alex doesn't even have a bruise or a scar or anything," he said and the doctor nodded as he listened. "How is that possible?" Sam asked.
"Well, Alex actually did have a mild concussion on the night that they came in but nothing gravely serious. The fact is, as I explained to your parents earlier this morning, her unconsciousness is resulting mostly from the multiple severe seizures she endured that night. Her brain likely was not able to recover in between the seizures, thus causing her to fall unconscious. To be truthful, I'm betting that no matter where she had been that night, we would have all ended up here just the same," he said and Sam nodded. She wondered how it must have made him feel to find out that neither the accident nor Alex's driving had been the cause of this in any way.
The couple and Sam's parents sat for hours more in the room, sometimes it got quiet, and sometimes they talked idly about trivial things to pass the time-though there was clearly a dark cloud hanging over each and every one of them. Midway through the day, Sam and Mercedes went to the hospital cafe and ate together. He was mostly quiet and she could tell his mind was understandably elsewhere. Whenever he did speak, he was telling her about various childhood memories between he and Sarah that made them both laugh but she could see the flash of sadness in his eyes after each story. In the middle of one of them, he'd paused and shook his head, sitting back in his chair as his eyes began to tear and Mercedes had reached across the table, taking his hand in hers and holding it for comfort. It was all she could give him at that point.
Later as they all sat in the room again, Mercedes sat on the long cushioned chair with her head resting on Sam's shoulder while his mother sat next to him, her elbow on the arm of the chair and her head propped up on her fist. Mercedes could see her eyes opening and closing slowly. She was clearly fighting sleep and Mercedes wasn't the only one to notice.
"Why don't you go home and get some sleep?" Mr. Evans suggested from the individual sofa chair next to them.
"I'm okay," Sylvia replied, sitting up and rubbing eyes.
"Honey, you need to go home, okay? You haven't been to sleep in days," he told her.
"Samu-,"
"Just for one night," he interrupted her objection and Mercedes could only smile as she noticed yet another trait Sam shared with his father. "Just go home for one night, please." he pleaded as he moved to stand in front of her, taking her hand and standing her on her feet. "You'll know as soon as I do if something changes, alright?" he told her and she sighed.
"I don't think I can be in that house alone, Samuel." she replied quietly and she could feel Sam stiffen next to her.
"We'll go with you," Sam said. Mercedes lifted her head from his shoulder to look at him. And in his face she found that he had no desire to leave whatsoever. She knew he was only suggesting it so that she wouldn't be alone and uncomfortable with his mom. But she wouldn't inconvenience him that way, not with everything they were going through.
"Sam, you don't have to. I'll go, you can stay here." she told him quietly. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at her, as if to ask if she was sure. "Stay," she urged him, placing her hand on top of his that rested on his leg and squeezing. He nodded as he turned his hand over to intertwine it with hers before replying,
"Okay,"
Mercedes insisted that she could drive as long as she had a GPS and since the hospital wasn't very far from their home, Mrs. Evans had allowed it. On the ride home, she'd been quiet, presumably sleeping, Mercedes couldn't take her eyes off of the road and the GPS long enough to find out. But the silence between them was comfortable, so she really had no need to.
The Evan's home was exactly how Mercedes had imagined it. The house in itself looked southern, painted an off white with dark green exterior window shutters and brown roofing. The inside was quaint and sophisticated, yet comfortable and home-y. Upon entering, Mercedes was immediately transported to all the memories Sam had revealed to her and she could clearly see where each of them had happened-from the time he'd attempted to carry her down the stairs when they were young and he'd fallen flat on his behind on only the second step down, while keeping her securely in his arms but she'd still never trusted him to carry her for years, to the time she'd been waiting behind the wall around the foyer that led to the living room and scared him so badly that he'd actually peed on himself. She quite liked imagining young Sam and Sarah and the dynamic they had. But it also made it even more painful to remember the situation at hand.
"Did you wanna sleep in the guest room or Sam's?" Sylvia asked her as they stood in the middle of the hallway upstairs, suddenly interrupting her thoughts. In her distracted thinking, Mercedes hadn't even realized that the woman had led her up the stairs. She thought for a short moment about what it might be like to sleep in his old teenage bedroom. She figured at least she would have his old pillows to snuggle since she couldn't have him that night.
"Sam's room is fine," she told her. Sylvia nodded, leading her down the hallway a little further, until they were at a door, right across from another one that had SARAH in yellow block letters placed diagonally on it. Mercedes frowned instantly, wondering what it might look like behind those doors, wondering what memories Sarah had made inside that room, and deeply hoping that she'd be able to make more.
Sylvia opened Sam's door for Mercedes and allowed her to walk in.
"Make yourself at home, alright? Food, shower-it's all yours. Just don't touch my AC." she told her as Mercedes dropped her bag on the floor in front of the bed and smiled, her eyes darting around the room, finding pictures of him and Sarah, drawings and paintings of his own, and posters of bands and musicians that she didn't recognize all over the blue walls.
"Thank you," Mercedes replied as she nodded and Sylvia smiled. She squeezed Mercedes' forearm softly before heading for the door.
"Goodnight, honey," she said.
"Goodnight, Mrs. Evans." Mercedes replied.
She was entirely too tired and drained to shower. So instead, she washed off and changed into her pink pajama shorts and white t-shirt, cleaned her face in Sam's bathroom, brushed her teeth and headed for bed, too exhausted to even attempt to wrap her hair.
In his bed, she quickly found his scent and it made her smile profusely because she knew for sure then that there was no cologne or deodorant that could create that smell-it was just Sam.
She fell asleep with her body wrapped tightly around one of his pillows. It was easy for her to sleep peacefully when his scent was surrounding her. But nothing could replace the feeling that came over her when she was actually in his arms-it was a feeling she hadn't expected to experience that night.
Until she was woken late in the middle of the night by him, pulling her back into him and wrapping his arms around her. Though she was confused, she couldn't help but smile, sighing peacefully at his warmth.
"I had to know if this bed felt any better with you in it," he said suddenly and sleepily into her skin.
"Does it?" she asked, admittedly shocked by his presence and his ability to focus on anything besides his sister.
"It does," he replied and she could feel his smile on her neck. She turned to face him then, her hand resting immediately on his bristled cheek and his still on her side.
"Anything new?" she wondered and she saw his head shake in the dark.
"Still just moving her feet and legs a lot. Doctor says that's better than nothin'," he shrugged. Smiling softly at his stronger southern drawl, Mercedes caressed his cheek gently and he sighed as he moved to rest his hand on top of hers. "You think she's gonna be alright?" he asked her and the question truly took her by surprise. If she was being honest, she did think she would be okay. But she didn't know if it was a good idea to say so, because what if she was wrong? She decided to be as ambiguous yet equally comforting as she could be.
"I think everything's gonna be okay," she replied, just before she leaned in and kissed him softly and shortly on the lips. Sleep came quickly to both of them moments later, with Mercedes' body wrapped comfortably around his instead of his pillow.
In the morning, she woke alone with a note on the pillow next to her that read,
Meeting my dad for a quick breakfast then going back to the hospital. I love you.
She wiped her eyes and smiled drowsily as she read it. On the clock on the nightstand next to the bed, she found that it was only 9:30. She got out of bed and headed for the shower that she realized once she was inside of she really needed. The water worked miracles on her tense muscles and she stepped out feeling refreshed. After she made up his bed again, she headed out of his room and down the stairs.
Mrs. Evans was nowhere in sight and Mercedes guessed she was still asleep. With that, she took it upon herself to make breakfast for the two of them. Before she began, she started a pot of coffee and afterwards in the large silver refrigerator she found turkey bacon, eggs and fruit. She got to know the kitchen as she cooked as she quickly whipped up a couple of small cheese omelets and a few bacon strips for each of them-figuring Sylvia wouldn't have much of an appetite. After placing the food and the fruit on two separate plates for both of them, she began pouring two mugs of coffee. Just as she finished pouring them, she heard the sound of bare footsteps rounding the corner to the kitchen.
"Wow," Sylvia said, her eyes wide as she looked at the two plates on the counter. Mercedes' stomach flipped as the possibility of Mrs. Evans being offended or uncomfortable by her actions suddenly invaded her mind.
"I hope you don't mind I cooked breakfast," she said nervously as she put the coffee pot down. Sylvia smiled sweetly at her.
"Oh, I would never mind that, darlin'." she replied and Mercedes chuckled softly, her breathing normalizing again.
"How do you like your coffee?" Mercedes asked and Sylvia shook her head as she entered the kitchen.
"At least let me make the coffee," she said. Mercedes smiled as she backed away from the two mugs. "How do you like your coffee?" Sylvia asked.
"Just milk and sugar," Mercedes replied and Mrs. Evans nodded.
After the coffee was prepared and the food was on the table, the two women sat down across from each other. Mercedes asked trivial questions about the decorations around the house to fill the silence between them at they ate. But it wasn't long before she ran out of things to ask and the silence stretched again. Sylvia's voice cut it short abruptly though when she began to speak.
"I want you to know I really do appreciate you being here." she said and Mercedes nodded. "In spite of what happened yesterday with him and Alex, with you here, Sam's handling this a helluva lot better than I thought he would." Mrs. Evans admitted. Mercedes smiled, cursing her warming cheeks.
"I thinks it's beautiful how much he cares about her," she replied.
"She cares about him just as much," Sylvia said, her eyes suddenly glued to the table, clearly deep in thought. She broke the quiet between them once more when she abruptly began to chuckle, though her eyes were beginning to water. "I remember when she was eleven years old and he was 12," she began, picking up the cloth napkin next to her plate and wiping the falling tear from her eye. "She and I were at one of his baseball games and he was up to bat. We're clappin' and cheerin' him on and trying to distract the pitcher. Then the balls in the air and, well in retrospect that ball probably was going a little too fast for little league. But then, the pitcher looked a little too big for little league." she said through a chuckle. "So the balls going towards Sam and he looks ready. But he swings just a second or two too late and the ball hits him hard right on the top of his shoulder." she told her and Mercedes cringed as she listened. "So Sam goes fallin' to the ground, cryin' and yellin' and the coach is runnin' out to the field and I get up and I go out there, too. Of course, Sarah couldn't run out there with us." she went on and Mercedes nodded. "So at the hospital while he's getting his x-ray done, she's sittin' next to me in the room and out of nowhere I hear her snifflin'. I ask her what's wrong and she starts tellin' me how she wanted to help him, too. She wanted to go out on the field and help calm him down and such. But she couldn't. And she was afraid he would hate her for it." Sylvia said as she smiled, her eyes tearing again. "Of course he didn't." she added as she wiped the tears once more. "It turned out his shoulder was dislocated. After the doctor set it back, he had to wear a sling, do some exercises with it and take a couple different prescriptions everyday." she explained. "And Sarah stayed on his tail," she laughed. "For weeks, we'd hear her askin' him about three times a day, 'did you take your medicine, Sammy?' 'you do your stretches Sammy?'. It was the sweetest thing," she said as she smirked to herself. When she finally looked up at Mercedes again, her eyes stretched. Mercedes hadn't even realized her own cheeks were soaked with tears. She'd found herself crying a lot more often than she normally would those past couple of days and she wasn't exactly sure how to feel about it. She picked up her cloth napkin and wiped her face quickly, not fund of the idea of Mrs. Evans worrying about her.
"I'm fine," she said quickly, sniffing as she dried her eyes. "That's just," she shook her head, her eyes filling again. "It's really sweet," she finished as she smiled.
"They've always bee-," Sylvia's next words were cut off by the sound of her cell phone ringing on the counter in the kitchen. Mercedes watched as she jumped from her seat and sprinted for it.
"Hello?" she heard her voice distantly say and then a bone chilling shriek that she found completely impossible to decipher followed. And in that moment, her heart felt like it could beat right out of her chest.
Hang in there! ^.^