Flight

Chapter 25-Blurred

Disclaimer: I do not own Thor, Loki, or the Avengers. They belong to Marvel/Disney.

Author's Note: I now have a poll up on my profile here. Just wanting to get an opinion of whether or not I should keep this story non- Thor/Loki on this site. Please vote!

Warning: Slight M/M this chapter.

Isond closed her wings, diving inside the chamber connecting her own to Loki's. She landed, and Loki slid down her shoulder, unfastening the scepter.

Your father waits for you, Isond said. He wants you to bring the scepter to his study.

"And how do you know this?" Loki asked.

He called to me when we came through the Bifrost, Isond said. He asked nicely. Odin has a strong voice. He only calls me when it's very important. Maybe now you'll be rid of that thing for good.

"I hope so," Loki said. Isond snaked her head down, and Loki touched his forehead to hers.

Can it be destroyed? Isond asked.

"I don't know," Loki said. "I'll be back later. Do you need to hunt?"
Tomorrow. I think I'll go sun myself in Frigga's garden. Helblindi is there with her, along with Ivik and Fandral. I'll be happy to see them, Isond said.

"Then go," Loki said, sending the dragon off with a slap on the shoulder.

Wasting no time, Loki transported himself to his father's study, surprising the older man. Heimdall was with him.

"You could have walked," Odin said.

"I'd rather get this over with," Loki said, setting the scepter down on the Allfather's desk.

"Let me see it," Odin said,

Loki glared at his father, but did as he was told, unfreezing the ice and pulling back the furs wrapping the scepter. Odin passed his hand over the stone in the tip, but he didn't touch it.

"Loki, how long were you in contact with it?" Odin asked.

"Every day for months," Loki said. "I never was far from it."

"Did it speak to you?" Odin said.

"All the time," Loki said. "I tried not to listen."

"Does it speak to you now?" Odin said.

"I can hear it, Father," Loki said.

"As can I," Odin said. "Heimdall?"

"Destroy it," Heimdall said. "I hear the voices within."

Loki felt sick to his stomach.

"It's not so simple," Odin said. "It's a shard of the Soul Gem. Why would the one who seeks the stones let go of a piece?"

"Thanos was willing to sacrifice it for his grand scheme," Loki said. "But I imagine he would like it back eventually."

"The humans had this in their hands?"

"Only for the few days I was in their custody," Loki said.

"They did no experiments? Tried to replicate it?"

"Not this one," Loki said.

"I know of their efforts with the Tesseract," Odin said.

"Can this shard be destroyed?" Loki asked, hopeful.

"The gems cannot be destroyed," Odin said. "I'll have it taken to the vault for now, until we can decide what to do with it."
"Bury it," Heimdall said. "My king, it must not remain here in Asgard. Send it away from Asgard. Back to Midgard, or Vanaheim."

"I'll not endanger another realm with something we should hold here," Odin replied.

"You'll endanger our home and your son by keeping such a thing here?" Heimdall said.

Loki shot the watcher a grateful look, and Heimdall nodded back.

"Vanaheim would be a good place to send it," Heimdall said. "Freya owes this realm a favor, and I think this is as good a time as any to call in that favor."

"Fine," Odin said. "Send someone for Tyr, and return to your post, Heimdall."

"Yes, my king," Heimdall said, picking up his helmet, and taking his leave.

"Do you think that's wise?" Loki asked.

"For now," Odin said. "We can move this artifact back to Jotunheim, or Alfheim. Even hide it in Muspelheim if we must, or send it back to Midgard."
"You would trust mortal hands with it?" Loki said.

"If they know what's good for them, they would safeguard it," Odin said.

"They were experimenting with the Tesseract, and look how well that went," Loki said.

"That is why Midgard is still under our protection," Odin said. "Loki, enough. Go see your mother and Helblindi. They've missed you."

"And you, Father?"
Odin gave his son a quick embrace. "Of course I missed you," he said. "I expect a full report of your activities in Jotunheim tomorrow morning. Now go."

He gave Loki a gentle shove toward the door, and Loki looked back over his shoulder, giving his father a tired smile.

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Fandral, Ivik and Helblindi were away from Frigga's chambers by the time Loki finally arrived. His mother set upon him, hugging him, then made a fuss over him.

"You're all right?" Frigga said, taking him by the shoulders, turning him too and fro, checking him over.

"Besides the fact I need a decent meal and I'm exhausted, I'm well, Mother," Loki said.

"Isond is well, I know," Frigga said. "She dropped off to sleep not long after she settled in the garden."

"She fought well," Loki said. "So did Thor and Kjalvor."

"I'm proud of all of you," Frigga said. "You and Thor are getting along? Talk everything out yet?"

"We're fine, Mother," Loki said, rolling his eyes. "And we've talked a little. How's Helblindi?"

"Helping Fandral feed Ivik right now," Frigga said. "Helblindi was in a fight while you were away?"

"What?" Loki asked.

"He's fine," Frigga said.

"What happened?"

"Volstagg took his boys to the training grounds to watch, and Helblindi and Gudrun tagged along," she said. "A couple of the older boys taunted them, and ended up in a fight with Blindi, Gudrun and Thrakad. Volstagg was furious, and your father, the less said the better."

"I hope those boys have been punished?" Loki said. "Is Helbindi all right?"

"He earned himself a black eye and split lip," Frigga said. "I think it's time he started learning how to defend himself properly. I'll begin his training, if you'll allow me."

"I could do it," Loki said.

"When do you have time?" Frigga asked.

"Fine," Loki said.

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Loki didn't hear the door open, nor the stifled giggle and patter of small feet as they neared his bed. He did rouse when he felt Helblindi's weight coming to rest on his middle when the boy landed on him.

"I missed you," Helblindi said, throwing his arms around Loki's neck.

"I missed you, too," Loki said, hugging him back.

"How are Byleistr and Annar and Suttung? Aima and Venni?" Helblindi asked.

"They're all well," Loki answered.

"Did they ask about me?"

"Yes," Loki said.

"Can we go visit soon?"

"When I can arrange it," Loki said. "It's still not safe."

"You're back, so it has to be safe now," Helblindi said. "Did the Einherjar really fight with the other Jotnar? They didn't fight each other?"

"They fought side by side," Loki said.

Helblindi's eyes lit up. "Just like Odin said they would," he said.

"My father was very sure of that, was he?"

"Yes," Helblindi said. "Thor said you caused an avalanche, and he made friends with Byleistr."

"Both did happen," Loki said. "And Suttung terrified Thor for a moment, I think."

"Suttung does that to everyone," Helblindi said. "He's not scary."

"Not scary to you, but to an Aesir. . ."

"We're not monsters," Helblindi said. "Laufey was a monster, like in Frigga's stories. He's gone now, so we don't have anything to be scared of anymore."

Loki sighed, hugging the boy a little tighter.

"I hear you've been helping Fandral with Ivik," Loki said.

"I have," Helblind said. "I want a dragon someday."

"Maybe you'll have one," Loki said.

"I wish I could have one now," Helblindi said. "My name-day is coming soon."

"In a couple of months," Loki said.

"That is soon," Helblindi said.

"So?"

"I don't want you to forget," Helblindi said. "It will be my first one here."

"I won't forget," Loki said. "Mine isn't long after yours. So what would you like for your name-day?"

"I want a ghost bear," Helblindi said. "Suttung said he would get me a cub when I'm old enough."

"We'll have to talk about that, Blindi," Loki said. "How about a pony instead?"

"A horse? A little one?"
"Yes," Loki said. "Thor and I had ponies when we were boys. Have you met Sleipnir yet?"

"No," Helblindi said, yawning. "Can we see him tomorrow?"

"Yes," Loki said.

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The next day, Loki took Helblindi to meet Sleipnir, as promised. The boy was timid with the horse at first, but after a few slices of one of Idunn's apples, Helblindi and the stallion were fast friends.

After, Loki took his little brother back to his chambers, where he lounged with the Allfather'swolves, looking at the pictures in one of his books. Loki gave him a smile, going back to his own work.

Knowing you're happy makes me happy as well, Isond said.

"Helblindi makes it very hard not to feel happiness," Loki said.

I know what else would make you happy, Isond said. Even Kjalvor knows, and can see it.

"And what is that, Isond?" Loki asked.

Tell him.

"I've tried," Loki said.

Then come up with a way he will truly understand. Or I will, Isond said.

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The weeks flew by, and Loki and Isond were sent across the realms along with Thor and Kjalvor, but they were never together long. Loki and Fandral and their dragons went to Alfheim for more training, and Loki went to the city of Cathrad, hoping to find more about the Infinity Gems, but it was a fruitless quest.

He was finally feeling up to talking with Thor, but there was never time to talk. A meal here, small talk there. Coming and going, putting down rebellion and trying to help where they could. Nidavellir was still a mess, Jotunheim was having problems again, and matters in Vanaheim were coming to a head.

Harvest was beginning, and Asgard marked it with a feast. And to celebrate the fact the Bifrost was repaired, and the burgeoning unity among the realms. Jotunheim, Vanaheim, Alfheim and Nidavellir sent envoys. Loki was fine with all the realms except the contingent of dwarves.

Brokkr. Of course he was in Asgard, the dwarf who sewed his lips shut. Loki could not set foot in Nidavellir again, but obviously Brokkr could enter Asgard without fear of any harm. Loki was going to speak to his father about it, but not now.

Loki was trying to leave the great hall, and the dwarf was dogging him, and Loki would be damned if he let him get the best of him again. Fandral was by his side, trying to help get him away, but luck was not on their side.

The dwarf stepped in front of them blocking their path.

"I hear you have a dragon now, Lie-smith," Brokkr said. "Did you steal it, too? Or bend it to your will with your magic? Magnificent beasts. I bet they're a difficult hunt, but worth it in the end. I wonder how much a suit of dragonscale armor would fetch. Gold, too. Such a beautiful color."

"Harm a scale on any dragon, and I guarantee it won't be me you'll deal with, filth," Loki said. "You'll face the Ljolsafar."

"Bah. They'd never know," Brokkr said. "And you, pretty one, I hear you have a dragon yourself. Would you consider selling it?"

Fandral could feel his bile and ire rising, but he didn't raise a hand. Instead, he heard the hiss of metal as Loki withdrew his dagger, and sliced open the dwarf's cheek, leaving a deep gash.

"That was a warning," Loki said.

What is the matter? What has upset you so? Isond asked.

Loki ignored her.

"Loki," Fandral warned.

"I'm a guest," Brokkr said. "Your father will hear about this."

Loki moved to slash at the dwarf again, but Fandral grabbed his friend's arm.

"Loki, come. Now," Fandral said, his grip on Loki's arm tightening. "What would your father say?"

That seemed to snap Loki out of his rage, and he let Fandral drag him along. The other man lead him through the kitchen, grabbing a wineskin, pulling Loki along beside him.

"What in the Hel was that back there?" Fandral asked. "He is a guest. I use the term loosely, of course."

"Father is negotiating a trade agreement with them," Loki said. "We need ore and weapons, they need someone to finish kicking out the marauders. Of course the cowards can't do it themselves."

"That's not what I meant," Fandral said, handing Loki the wineskin.

"One day I will kill that bastard for what he did to me," Loki said.

"I know, but losing your temper in front of people like that will set tongues to wagging," Fandral said. "Loki, you've been doing so well. . ."

"It was bound to happen," Loki said.

"I guess," Fandral said. "Where's Isond hiding?"

"Her wallow," Loki said. "I think Mother's garden would be a good place for me to hide."

"Then go, and stay out of trouble," Fandral said. "Will you be all right? I need to check on Ivik."

"As long as Brokkr doesn't come here, I will be," Loki said. "You know Isond is only a thought away, and I can transport myself to her as well."

"I wouldn't be transporting myself anywhere if I were you," Fandral said. "If you need anything, have Isond send for me."

"Fandral, I'll be fine," Loki said, giving his friend a jaunty salute and heading off on his own.

Once he made it to the garden, he sat down on a bench, sighing in relief. Too many people, when the only company Loki wanted was his own. His mother's garden was a solace. No one allowed but her family and a few trusted friends. Loki finished the wine, and laid down on the bench he was using, closing his eyes, enjoying the silence. But it didn't last long, as he heard the familiar sound of Mjolnir coursing through the air, and he would know the sound of Thor's footsteps anywhere.

Loki opened one eye, staring up at his brother.

"You're back," Loki said.

"Just got here," Thor said. "I wasn't expecting such a huge gathering."

"Finish the fight in Nidavellir?" Loki asked.

"Not quite," Thor said. "Just home a few days. Mother had Heimdall call me back. I knew I'd find you here."

"Did you ask Isond?"

"I guessed," Thor said. "Why did you leave the gathering?"

"Too many people," Loki said. So, Thor didn't know about his discussion with Brokkr. "I just wanted to get away. You didn't talk to Fandral?"

"No," Thor said. "Should I?"

Loki stood, walking over to the railing, overlooking another courtyard.

"You should," Loki said, swaying, leaning against the railing to hold himself up.

"How much have you had to drink?" Thor asked.

"Not enough," Loki said.

"I know you've been to Alfheim and Jotunheim again," Thor said. "Hogun said it's getting bad in Vanaheim," Thor said. "We'll probably be sent there next."

"Jotunheim's been a treat," Loki said. "Mopping up."

"When are you taking the casket back?"

"When all this blows over," Loki said.

"I'll come with you, if you let me," Thor said.

"You'd make good on the promise you made Suttung about weregild," Loki said.

"I know," Thor said. "Loki, get some sleep. We can talk more in the morning. That is, if you're not nursing a hangover."

"Stop talking," Loki said, thinking. His brother was the rash one, the one who acted first, dealing with the consequences later. Maybe it was the mead, or Loki was tired of waiting, but he leaned in close, kissing Thor on the lips. It was slow and sloppy at first on Loki's part, but then he felt Thor's hand on his neck, his familiar sign of affection. Kissing him back, pulling him closer. . .and Loki broke away.

"I'm sorry," Loki said, wiping at his mouth, stumbling away, leaving a confused Thor in his wake.

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Isond waited for Loki. She knew he was coming, thought about transporting herself to him, but instead, she sent him her love and comforting thoughts as he stumbled his way into his chambers. He dragged his furs off his bed, making his way to her, making a nest encircled by the dragon's front legs. Loki pulled the covers up over his head, and Isond crooned until he dropped off to sleep.

And in the morning, when Loki woke, it was to light shining in his eyes, Isond licking his face.

"My head hurts," he said.

I know.

"Isond, I'm such a fool," Loki said.

He liked it. You wanted it. Why is it wrong?

"Where would you like me to start?" Loki asked.

You need to eat.

"No food. I'm not hungry."

He kissed Thor. Thor kissed him back.

I'll call Frigga. Or Fandral. Take your pick, the dragon threatened.

"Fine. Food. When I can stand the thought of appearing in public again," Loki said.

Sif was by earlier, wanting to know if you were all right because of what happened with the dwarf, Isond said. I told her to come back later. That creature was dragged to the Bifrost this morning by the Einherjar, and told not to come back.

"Does Thor know?" Loki asked.

Kjalvor hasn't said anything other than the fact that Thor would like to speak with you, Isond said. And Thor is upset.

"Not surprising," Loki muttered.

Your mother comes, Isond said.

"Wonderful," Loki said, rolling over, facing Isond's bulk, and pulling his covers over his head once again. Maybe she would leave him alone if she thought he was asleep. He heard the door open, and footsteps.

"You have a bed, you know," Frigga said, leaning over, kissing him on the top of his head.

"It's big and empty," Loki said.

"Only because you're not in it," Frigga replied. "Would you like anything to eat?"

"No," Loki said, feeling something small land on his middle.

"Take the demon with you," Loki said.

"My sweet, noble Herja is not a demon," she said, picking up the cat.

"She knocks everything off my desk and shelves," Loki said.

"Dear, she's a cat. It's what they do," Frigga said.

"And she's your spy," Loki said.

Frigga smiled down at her son. "Herja is a cat, nothing more," she said.

"And Geri and Frekki and Huginn and Muninn are just dumb animals," Loki said.

"I'll send some food along," Frigga said. "Don't spend all day in bed."

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Thor paced back and forth in front of Kjalvor, the dragon watching him, lashing his tail in his own annoyance.

Loki kissed him. A proper kiss. What was going through his mind when he did it? Thor was confused. Their mother was Vanir, as was Heimdall. They had more liberal views on certain romantic entanglements than the races of the other realms. Didn't matter that he and Loki weren't blood—they were still brothers. But Loki was always saying he loved him more than he should.

Thor knew he meant a great deal to Loki. Maybe Loki was entertaining possibilities because he could. Thinking about it did not mean one had to accept the idea. They were adults, and would likely laugh it off soon. Or Loki was serious.

Implications Thor did not want to consider at the moment. He loved Jane.

Loki upset the delicate balance between them with one impulsive act. Possibly some mischief, but Loki wasn't that petty.

Why are you confused? Kjalvor asked, breaking Thor's internal silence.

"I'm conflicted, Kjalvor," Thor answered.

Why? Whenever you're faced with change, you're so stubborn. Why do you have to make everything so hard for yourself? Kjalvor said.

"What do you mean?" Thor said.

Loki is here. He's always been with you. Jane is not here. She is in Midgard, where we're forbidden to go, Kjalvor said, hoping Thor would understand what he was saying. He was not going to spell it out for him. Sometimes his partner needed to figure out things on his own. He would give him nudge, though.

"Loki is my brother," Thor said.

So? Does that change anything? Kjalvor said.

"It changes everything," Thor said.

Why can't you see what is right in front of you? Kjalvor asked, voice tinged with frustration.

"I see my brother is confused, and needs to deal with what ails him," Thor said.

You're a coward, Kjalvor said. Loki is hurt, and dealing with many things, but he is not confused about what he feels toward you.

"We are not continuing this any further," Thor said. "What do you know of Loki's feelings?"

More than you, Kjalvor snapped. You don't listen, and you don't see. How can you be so deaf and blind? Is there any wonder Loki has been so angry with you in the past? You always think you're right, and everyone lets you by. No one denies you anything, yet you deny what is in front of you. I'll give you a little time to figure it out for yourself.

"Kjalvor, if I'm so wrong, why won't you just explain whatever it is you want me to know?" Thor said.

Because you will not hear me, he said.

"I hear you now," Thor said, annoyed.

Only because you're becoming angry. I will not talk to you when you're like this.

"Kjalvor, you're being a child," Thor said.

And you're not? Talk to Loki, but not when you're in this mood. Talk to your mother. Maybe Frigga can make you see reason as you can't see what's obvious.

Thor put his hand under the dragon's chin.

"Are you always so unhappy with me? Do you regret choosing me?"

No and no, Kjalvor said. You are mine, and I am yours. I waited for you, no one else. I do not understand how you can put the thought of someone who is so far away, who you haven't seen in so long ahead of me, and Loki, and everyone else that is important to you.

"You're jealous?"

No. I don't understand.

"I love Jane," Thor said.

You love Loki. What difference is there? Kjalvor asked.

"Loki is my brother," Thor said. "Jane is. . .everything I never knew I wanted."

Kjalvor snorted.

"What?"

How can you say that when you don't know what you truly want?

"I know what I want. I want Jane," Thor answered.

Kjalvor butted him in the chest, knocking him down. The dragon turned away, circling his wallow several times like a cat before lying down, closing his eyes.

"Kjalvor, what is wrong with you?" Thor asked.

The dragon didn't answer.

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