A/N: I just wanted to mention that Mother's song, in this story, was inspired by a song called, (surprise, surprise) "Okaasan no Uta" written by Mamoru Hosoda. I did take a few lyrics from that song and place them in the story and, in my mind, I do imagine the sound of the song in this story the same to the song I just mentioned here. So, if the lyrics sound familiar, this is why~
Chapter Twenty-five
"Mother loved you."
Before Temari even finished that last word, Gaara had swung himself in a flash out of Sakura's hold. Rage filled his gaze, teeth flashed, and he sneered while making an attempt at leaping towards his sister.
"Shut up with your lies!" he screamed.
Sakura caught him in an instant and, surprisingly, he didn't fight against her or attempt to wriggle free. He stilled at her own touch, but he continued to glare at his sister.
Temari took a step back, and even Kankuro bravely put himself next to her instead of behind Sakura. Still, despite their fear, the siblings do not run, and eventually Temari returned Gaara's cold gaze with serene eyes. She looked at the boy not with hate, but with apology. Something that did not go unnoticed by Gaara.
"Don't look at me like that," he hissed at her. "I don't need you to feel sorry for me."
Sakura pulled Gaara closer then, wrapping arms once more around him before she brought her mouth close to his to whisper.
"Don't" she breathed into him first. "Don't let anger get the better of you. You have more control of yourself than that."
Gaara didn't turn to face the rosette, but did lift his head some in her direction before he replied.,
"She is making me angry. She is lying. She is doing it all on purpose to hurt me!"
His obfuscate words grew louder the more quickly he spoke, and Sakura could sense his anger rising.
"Don't," she whispered softly to him.
He had tugged against her, but at the feel of her tightening hold he stopped his movements once more. In the dark reaches of his mind, he still held on to the promise he had made Sakura earlier. He had told her he wouldn't hurt anyone again. Yet, at the same time, he wasn't sure whether Temari deserved that sort of mercy. Another part of his mind was whispering to him, reminding him that the girl was lying only to mock and embarrass him. Sakura then told him something that wiped away that blinding rage and dark aura in his mind.
"Temari has no reason to lie to you."
Gaara's eyes had widened then. Temari, he could believe, was out to hurt him and would hold nothing back lying to him. It wouldn't even surprise him if Kankuro, in time, would do the same. People were out there to hurt him, and they would do so in the cruelest of ways possible. He had learned that from his uncle first. Uncle hated him, Father hated him, Temari hated him, Kankuro hated him, and Mother did too. There was no way Temari could be telling him the truth.
Yet, Sakura was someone he felt he could trust now. Despite his doubts in the beginning, despite the monster in his mind reminding him how people could turn in the blink of an eye, she continued to stick by his side and call him friend. He trusted his friend, and turned to look at her with quivering eyes.
"...What?" he asked her, still unbelieving.
If what Sakura claimed was true, then was she too saying that his Mother…? He couldn't even wrap his mind at the idea. Yet, staring up at the rosette, she kept his gaze held in with solid eyes. She wouldn't show him in any doubt, but Sakura couldn't lie to herself that what Temari claimed was a little bewildering. From all Sakura had learned while staying here, well, she didn't blame Gaara for calling Temari a liar. Still, Sakura knew Temari to some level, especially her older self, and she didn't believe the young blonde made these claims just to ruse Gaara. Perhaps it was just all a misunderstanding, something Sakura could clear up.
Then again maybe, just maybe, Temari spoke the truth; that's what Sakura wanted to believe anyway. She sent Gaara a reassuring smile before dropping her head against his. There eyes did not break.
"Let's listen to what Temari has to say," Sakura spoke to Gaara. "She isn't here to upset you. She is your big sister after all."
Gaara pursed his lips then, eyes breaking to look below him. He took a moment to himself.
"Sister?" he whispered into the air.
Sakura nodded her head against him.
"That's right," she answered him. "Sister."
He was quiet again after that.
"Let's listen to her, alright?" Sakura asked him again.
Teal eyes went back to jade. Gaara stared into her eyes for a moment before nodding once against her.
"Alright," he breathed.
She smiled at him then. There had been some hesitance in his voice, but Sakura was glad to see him put up a brave front. She promised herself to be mindful of his feelings while listening to Temari before bringing her head up from him. She put the redheaded boy back onto the floor, but he chose to sit and linger by Sakura's side. He turned along with her to face his sister, and tried to keep his face from morphing when he saw fear flash across Temari's eyes once again. She was uncertain of her brother still, but her attention was stolen by Sakura then.
"Temari," she called for the girl.
Yet, she paused as Temari looked at her. It was a little unnerving on Sakura's part learning such a thing that she wasn't sure how to appropriately ask the girl to explain herself.
"How do you know that?" was what Sakura eventually settled on.
Even though it was only her speaking, she could feel Gaara scoot closer to her body. Maybe he doubted his control at the moment, and Sakura was sure his heart was beginning to race like hers was. He wasn't sure what to expect or what he wanted to hear. Hope, doubt, confusion, he wasn't sure what feeling to settle on.
Sakura, too, held on to a hope that Temari's claim was true, but also braced herself for a letdown. They watched together as the girl looked back down at the paper in her hand, and Sakura's eyes widened then.
'There was more to the song!' she remembered.
Before Sakura could even ask, Temari offered the paper to her. She had a soft smile on her young face, and as she stepped forward, she met eyes with Gaara.
"Mother wrote about you too," she told him.
Gaara said nothing, despite his racing heart and swimming mind, he kept his apathetic facade. Nothing good had ever come his way, certainly that didn't change now. He wouldn't show those around him he had let their words rise his hopes up.
As she reached for the paper, Sakura's first thought was, how? How had Karura written about Gaara when her life ended as his began? With slightly shaking fingers, Sakura took back the paper. Her eyes fell to the next lines of the song she hadn't read, but didn't focus on any of the words yet. Instead, she looked back down at the boy next to her. His eyes and head were already up and looking at her. The quiet, moody child, clutched his hands hard against his knees, and he did well to hide his trembling.
She offered him a smile.
"Whatever we read, whatever your mother wrote, I just want you to know how I feel about you."
Gaara's eyes flashed for a moment, but he kept his stoic gaze as he asked,
"Which is?"
Sakura smirked then, remembering how cautious he was trying to interpret the meaning of her words. This moment was no different.
"How proud I will always be of you, Gaara," Sakura whispered.
Lambent eyes stared back at her then, and eventually, a small smile found him as well. She could even see his cheeks turn a shade of pink. Before, he could shy away, Sakura spoke again.
"Do you want to read what your mother wrote?" she asked. "Would you prefer that I read it first?"
Gaara paused for a moment, he took her question into deep consideration. As anxious as he now was, he tried to analyze what was the best decision to go about this. He decided to rely a little on Sakura's strength then, for he wasn't blind enough to not realize the outcome could possibly break his mind.
"Will you read it me… please?" he asked in a fading voice.
She nodded, sending him one last reassuring smile before glancing back at the paper.
"To my unseen child, may we meet soon," Sakura whispered the words written on the paper and smiled as her questions were beginning to be answered.
The rosette turned back to Gaara, not surprised his eyes had widened to just that sentence.
"She was writing to you while you were still inside of her," Sakura grinned. "Now it makes sense! Your mother wanted to meet you."
"Mama use to let me touch her belly. She told us we would be getting a sibling soon," Temari spoke and turned to her brother. "Do you remember, Kankuro?"
Kankuro hummed slightly in thought.
"I think so," he mumbled.
Despite their words, Gaara's attention was still focused on the paper.
"That's all it says?" he asked with a little disappointment in his voice.
Sakura shook her head, glancing back a the few sentences.
"To my unseen child," she repeated, "may we meet soon. Will you look like like your father, or like me? I wonder these things as I stroke my swollen belly."
Sakura continued to read for some time. Karura mentioned how she would always watch over her new child once they came; that they could always turn to her for guidance in this new world, and that she would protect her child, and love them, no matter what. She would forever love all three of them.
The last few lines was Karura telling them to run through the sand, to count the clouds in the sky, and to play together in the rain. To be free and happy as any other child. She wrote how this big world is just for them, and that she would be the one to make sure they see every last bit of it. She went on to write that once they grew and decided to leave that she would see them off with a smile, a tear in her eye, and heart full of love. Even if she couldn't see them, or if they couldn't see her, her love for them would never disappear. Even if she would be lonely once they go, she wanted them to take those steps. It continued to mention for them to be kind to others before ending the song with-
"Please, live your lives strong, proud, kind, and full of love."
Sakura stared at the paper silently long even after she finished it. Her mind began blooming with so many thoughts and questions then. Were these words true, she wondered. They had to be, Temari and Kankuro remembered her so fondly, and the sincerity of the song just seemed so real. The message is as clear as day in this song. Karura's love for Gaara began before he was even born. Then again, did this mother's love for Gaara shatter the moment he was born, or was it that someone had…
Sakura looked up at Temari whose eyes and frown were set on her as well. She remembered the little girl's question then.
"Do you think Father lies?"
'Had he?' Sakura wondered. 'Did he, and others, morph Gaara's mind into thinking that not even the woman who had carried him wanted him?'
She couldn't linger on that thought for long. A whimper next to her caught her attention, and she looked down at the redheaded boy and watched him bite his lips and pick his head high in a desperate attempt to hold back his tears. If he couldn't fight it, today would be the second time he cried; already more times than Sakura had ever seen Gaara do. No doubt he tried to keep his careless facade around his siblings. No doubt he did not want to spill tears over something he could ultimately later learn was a lie.
Yet, hearing his mother's song has given him such raw, deep emotion, that the second Sakura settled a comforting hand on top of his shoulder, he cried out loudly as hot tears poured down his face. He hung his head low, despite all eyes on him, and wailed loudly. Sakura was silent, coaxing him gently and rubbing his shoulder. Within time, she could hear sniffles in front of her, and she smiled as she watched both Kankuro and Temari vigorously wiping away what seldom tears came from them.
"I'm sorry, Gaara," Temari tried to whisper through her shaking voice. "I'm sorry about everything. I didn't realize… I didn't know… They told us that she… But Mother… She did love you."
Her broken words were an attempt at comfort, but the boy's wails only grew louder from her apology. Sakura grew worried for the redhead when minutes ticked by and his crying did not tire or falter. She knew this revelation would be painfully heartwarming for Gaara, but she also guessed he was confused and conflicted to this given situation. He was probably at a loss at the moment.
Who told the truth, and who had lied. Who cared for his sake, and who had forsaken him. Who could he trust to protect him, and who would stab a dagger in his back. No doubt this was the principal thought Gaara had to live with now. Perhaps it had been easier for him to rule out the world as his enemy. To stand on guard against everyone was much more simple than deciphering who talked to him without any ill intent.
Surprisingly, through his wincing eyes and gritting teeth, he looked towards Temari for reassurance. Maybe it was because she knew of Karura the longest of the three, or maybe it was because she brought this information to him, whatever reason, he did his best to ask her with his trembling voice,
"Did Mother really love me?"
He pursed his quivering lips, trying hard to hold back tears that still threatened to fall. A part of him expected her to remain quiet, or maybe even admit this was all some horrible lie. The one man who had cared for him for the majority of his life had just revealed to him how much he despised Gaara, as well as how Karura did not care for him or his birth. The thought so fresh in his mind, he did not expect a stranger like Temari to ever tell him anything other than what his uncle had revealed. What he did not expect was her next act.
Even Sakura was caught off-guard as the blonde marched her way quickly in front of Gaara. The redhead didn't even have time to look up at her before she ungraciously dropped to her knees in front of Gaara. There, she reached for Gaara and pulled him into a tight embrace. Tears stained her eyes as well as she held onto Gaara.
"Let's live our lives just like Mother wanted," Temari whispered to Gaara. "Together!"
Where the girl feared being in Gaara's presence not too long ago, she now embraced her brother in much heartfelt. Even Gaara had tensed to her hold with trembling wide eyes. She had ceased his tears while his mind tried to wrap around what her action meant. Throughout the years of his life, Temari would become the third person to hold him so fondly and without apprehension. She did this on her own accord. For Gaara, he soon began to realize her good intentions, and remembered that being held like this was a loving act. It wasn't fair that he could count on just one hand how many people held him so lovingly like this.
For the first time, he recognized her as a sister.
Gaara's hands wrapped gently around her, burying his returning tears into her shoulder.
At the moment, Kankuro too made his way over. He was silent as he sat behind Gaara before his arms embraced the redhead too. He said nothing as him and Temari held onto Gaara, sandwiching him in between them. Sakura meanwhile watched on silently, she too felt tears stinging to escape at the sight.
Broken apart by their father, these siblings were able to find each other through their mother.
'A mother's love can be an amazing thing,' Sakura told herself.
Sakura glanced once again at the three children, letting one tear fall at another thought.
'Siblings too,' she admitted.
And while the rosette had no blood siblings to call her own, her thoughts did fall on Naruto at that moment. If there was ever someone she would call brother, it would be Naruto. To the thought of the blonde now, and with the hugging children in front of her cradling Gaara as he cried, Sakura realized she would probably begin bawling herself if she didn't break away to recollect herself. So, she stood, glad to see the three paid her no mind as she slowly made her way out of the room. She gently closed the door behind her before leaning against the wood.
She sighed before drawing in some deep breaths in. Eventually, her hot tears dried up, and a small smile found her as she leaned her head up against the door. Her smile grew when she realized it was Naruto still on her mind.
'Naruto,' she thought to herself. 'I guess I do have some power to change hearts like you can.'
Her smile grew as she thought about the children behind the door. She wondered if they ever held onto one another for support like they were now. Surely she had help put a little change in them that would help Gaara much sooner, than later, find his kind heart. Sakura lowered her smile towards the ground. No matter how many close calls of death she had, the one that suddenly stuck to her mind was the one where Gaara had pinned her with his sand against the tree. If not for Naruto, than she wouldn't be here now, helping that very same bad guy realize his potential early on.
"Thank you," she whispered to her old friend. "For everything."
Somehow, wherever she was now, she hoped her feelings would find a way to him. She hoped somehow that Naruto could feel her appreciation.
'Once I get back home, perhaps I should treat him to ramen… Just this once,' she thought to herself with a small giggle.
Sakura's eyes widened when she suddenly heard a faint closing of a door. With the children still inside Gaara's room, the rosette wondered who it was that came into the quiet home. Perhaps Baki had had finally come for the older siblings, and Sakura was quick making her way down the stairs to speak with the young man. Yet, she wasn't sure what should come first. An apology perhaps, that she hadn't been able to stop Gaara or save Annaisha. Condolences maybe, even though neither had told Sakura about their relationship. Questions, for she still wondered if Annaisha had decided to attack on her own accord. Sakura hadn't forgotten the slipping words from the brunette's dying breath.
"He said…"
'Who was this he?' Sakura wondered. 'Had an attack on Gaara been planned?'
The little boy certainly had more enemies than friends. That revelation, if she found it true, wouldn't shock her, yet she would do her best to put an end to it. The boy didn't need anything more traumatizing in his life. The Ichibi's constant dark presence, and Gaara's solitude, were far too much already. Sakura had these thoughts and hurried down the stairs, yet she stopped frozen and surprised to find the current Kazekage instead. He peered into the kitchen, searching, before he took notice of Sakura's presence.
Rasa was silent staring at Sakura, face stoic. Sakura meanwhile began to fume to the sight of him, and Temari's question rang again in her mind.
"Do you think Father lies?"
While in her thoughts it's Rasa's assured words that he can tire Gaara out from lashing out the day before that come to mind, a lie; it is an even bigger fabricated story the man has spewed for many years that has her drawing towards him dangerously.
"You," she seethed before racing towards him faster.
There is a burning in her heart and mind that made her approach him threateningly, and Rasa sneered as soon as he recognized her motive.
'Yes, Temari,' somewhere deep Sakura manages to think. 'He does.'
Rasa was able to dodge Sakura's bone-crushing fist as she screamed at him.
"You lied to him!"
Every punch she aimed at him is filled with an intent to smash this cruel man's face in, yet her rouse seems not to affect him. He is passive dodging every aim of her's without fighting back, and it irks the rosette all the more.
"Cease at once," he told her time to time.
She didn't listen.
"You lied to me!" Sakura continued to scream at him. "You're just a rotten liar!"
She didn't notice the hot tears in her eyes. She was too blind to see that emotions have gotten the better of her, and she became sloppy after each attempt at striking the man. Yet, she does not stop, she refused to. She wanted to cause the man twice as much pain as he had caused his son. Though, deep down, she knew a blow to the face would be barely considered a fraction of the hurt Gaara has endured for so long from Rasa.
"Sakura," Rasa continued. "Stop. We need to discuss what has happened last night."
Gaara and Annaisha's clash doesn't even come to her mind despite Rasa's words. It was still focused sorely on the little piece of paper that revealed so much to her.
Mother's song.
"Bastard!" Sakura cried instead, aiming still. "You lied to your children! Lied to everyone about him!"
These words caused Rasa's passive grimace to let up, and he opened his eyes wide. He knew nothing of what she spoke, yet a ringing guilt suddenly weighed his heart heavy. It should be impossible for her to know his secrets, yet Sakura is someone who came to him spewing knowledge about Gaara. He still thought it unfeasible for her to know all of Gaara, but her declaration then mmade him falter for a moment, and that is all Sakura needed to land a hit against his face.
"You lied to Gaara!" she cried as her fist collided with his jaw.
She hadn't poured even an ounce of her strength into the hit, but her rawness alone sent Rasa back some and he skidded across the marble floor before crashing into the wall that stops his collision. Sakura rounded on him, watched as he spat the blood in his mouth and massaged his jaw some before menacing eyes looked back up at her. Sakura admits then that Kankuro's appearance to his father is uncanny, and that she can even see some physical traits in Temari's face that she shares with Rasa. Yet, It is only now does Sakura see something Gaara and Rasa share as father and son; The emotions they try to hide behind their eyes.
Once upon a time, Sakura would tell you Gaara hid his feelings well behind glazed eyes and a passive frown. She had been looked by Gaara the same way Rasa looked at her. Not until she spent time with the small, hurting boy did she learn to look deeper into his staring glance, and inside his sea of teal did the young woman finally see so much pain and happiness the boy could feel. Only now does Sakura finally learn that, through time with Gaara and learning about him, can she now understand what Rasa hides behind his brown-eyed gaze.
Through his rage, she can see a hint of guilt. It made Sakura wonder if it had always been there and that she had just been blind to notice it before, but his look is enough to bring her fist down from striking him more. Though she matches with his challenging eyes, and still speaks with venom in her voice.
"She loved Gaara."
Rasa's eyes go round, and even a small inward breath is heard coming from him. He doesn't need to be told any more from her, or anyone else, to know Sakura speaks about Karura's true feelings towards Gaara. To that realization, the strong man under Sakura, the one this village calls leader, lowers his eyes and head down in what appears to be shame and guilt. It is a silent admittance on his part, and one that makes Sakura fists tremble once again.
If there was any doubt in the paper before, there is absolutely none now.
"Why?" Sakura whispered with a hiss.
The word why seems to be the most common word Sakura says to the older man; and her questions that come seem to revolve all around the redheaded boy. Why does this father continue to hurt Gaara so, never allow him any peace, as he strives for the basic of emotional needs and guidance a child looks for? Out of anyone there, Rasa was suppose to be the father for his children.
"Why did you keep this from him?"
Rasa looked back up at Sakura, frown heavy still as his eyes took in the small tears Sakura had in her eyes. He was quiet to her question until Sakura asks another.
"Why do you continue to hurt your son?"
Sakura watched through blurry vision as Rasa opened his mouth. For her, as she read his lips, she thought she had just seen him confess to her that he does this because Gaara took away the woman he loved. What she actually heard is completely different.
"To understand his worth in this village," Rasa explained quietly. "To understand his emotional, and psychological control in even the worst situations. For my village."
And what could be worst than telling a lonely child that the woman who brought him into such a hateful world held no attachment towards him? That the only time Karura had left with Gaara was placing a name for a demon to curse the village. It was beyond cruel in Sakura's eyes.
"I needed to know that Gaara would be capable controlling the Ichibi," Rasa continued before he shifted in his spot. "I needed to know my village would be safe from my own son."
There was a long pause after his words. Sakura said nothing staring down still at the fallen man, and Rasa had pursed his lips in deep thought before looking back up at Sakura.
"Now I know," his voice waned.
Sakura gritted her teeth and clenched her fists again after Rasa's saying. For Sakura, who knew the outcome Gaara could have if shown the right path, was angered to watch Gaara's very own father doubt his son.
"People change. People learn through their mistakes," Sakura said. "I'm teaching him that now. If anything though, Gaara should be learning this from you, his father."
Rasa's head fell then again.
"I just can't understand you. As a parent, how is it you cannot understand that Gaara's control and emotions stem from what you teach him? Did it not occur to you that you could teach him yourself how to control and overcome emotions?"
Sakura sighed, trying to tell her body to relax as the need to fight was still instilled in her.
"Your lies and neglect created the monster your village now fears."
After her words she waited for Rasa to speak up. She even expected the man to perhaps counter her with his own words like he had always done before. Instead, he was still and quiet, and Sakura shook her head at him.
"I didn't know her, but your wife sounds like she was a very loving person."
Angry eyes whipped fast towards Sakura then, a small warning, she supposed, from Rasa silently telling her to choose wisely how she spoke of his late wife. Yet, he did not deny this claim Sakura made.
"Now that Gaara knows about her love, I hope in a way it counters all the hate he has received from you," Sakura added sternly.
To add to the many surprises today, Sakura offered her hand to help the man up. He did not take her gesture, and only stared up at Sakura with a hard frown and gaze.
"People change," Sakura spoke with her offer to help him up still there. "Gaara can, and will, change as he grows and learns."
Sakura blinked a few times towards Rasa, lost in thought. She tried to think of a moment that the Gaara of her time had made a mention of his father and their relationship ever bettering, but found she knew too little of the Kazekage and his past. Naruto knew most, and it pained Sakura to realize she had cared too little of the redhead before to ever ask questions or dig deeper into Gaara's past. Now that she took care of the same man, now a little boy, she wanted nothing more than do whatever she could to bring Gaara peace. This ordeal was certainly changing her perspective on Gaara.
"It's not to late..." Sakura murmured then.
Rasa's eyes narrowed some, but he was still quiet and let the rosette finish her words.
"You can change too. You can be the father Gaara has been needing all his life," Sakura said in almost a whisper.
Rasa's eyes let up some, but he still didn't take Sakura's hand.
"Your wife loved Gaara. I want to believe her husband can love Gaara the way a father should."
Sakura still gets nothing from the man.
"For your wife, for your village, and for Gaara. Do it for them."
Sakura stills herself as Rasa begins moving himself to those words. She wanted to that if he would just place his hand into her's that it would mean an agreement from him that he would try better with Gaara. Yet, instead of earning his hand or anything more, they are interrupted by a small cry.