Kyle Katarn: The Rise & Fall
Book 1: Rise of a Hero
Part 3
Chapter 24: The Moment It Happened
A/N: Hello, my readers, reviewers and friends. Today marks an apex in this story, an event that took a long time in coming. And now that's it here, I must confess to feeling both happy and sad at the same time. Since 2004-2005, when I posted the first chapter of Part 1 of this story, my life changed significantly for the better as I discovered both a talent and a love of writing in myself. These feelings were reinforced with each new chapter and the many, many reviews I received.
But of particular significance to me recently was learning that people all over the world have been reading this, from Canada, Australia, the UK and others. It's nearly overwhelming to me seeing this. I offer my heartfelt thanks to each and every person out there who's taking the time to read my story,
Today marks an end of sorts, for this is the final chapter of Part 1 of Kyle Katarn: The Rise and Fall. The reviews I've received mirror my own feelings, sadness this is ending, but anticipating the new story. I can tell you all right now that Part 2 is already in progress. As of today, I've written more than enough for the first chapter, nearly 50 pages. So take heart, this story is NOT over. So what that in mind, let's get to the shout outs!
Manus Dei: Yeah, maybe Doctor Berth should consider charging him rent! Yeah, I'm glad to have them healthy too. Hope you like this chapter and what's coming!
Darth Demon 2: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Hope this one is to your liking too.
Phygmalion: A delight to hear from you again. Yeah, it sure took me a while to get here. Aw c'mon, don't get depressed, Part 2 is coming soon! I'm glad you liked the use of the reviewers in the story, I had been worried people wouldn't like it.
Mach Farcon: Say it a thousand times if you wish! I'm just glad you're enjoying the chapters so much!
Tinuviel Undomiel: I was wondering if you two would pick up on that one! As I said earlier, the whole nanotech thing came from an episode of Star Trek:TNG. It just seemed to work for that scene. Awesome! It's fun featuring you two as I have to try and imagine what you two are really like vs. your characters and somehow make the two fit. Yes, I am sad and happy too. But don't worry, Part 2 is coming soon. Besides, I haven't forgotten how you two used to threaten me back during the days of Kyle and Blaze.
The Wineglass: You noticed the beard scene too, eh? Cool, I was hoping people would pick up on it. Yeah, they're safe which is great, but only one more chapter which kinda stinks. But Part 2 is coming soon. It's been both my pleasure and honor to write this story and even more so to know you've enjoyed it. Granted, it is a labor, but I think of it like this, the man who does what he loves for a living never works a day in his life. That's how this story is for me.
Nerwen Aldarion: You both saw it! Cool! Yeah, I figured the beard had to come in somewhere, somehow particularly since the game designers didn't explain it. I feel the same way you do about this chap. I hope you like Part 2.
A/N: And with that, we've come to the beginning of the end, everyone. I hope Chapter 24 provides a fitting "end" to Part 1.
Outside Mon Mothma's Briefing Room
A few minutes later
Kyle touched the call button.
"Yes?" Mon Mothma's voice said from the speaker.
"It's Kyle."
There was a brief pause.
"Please come in."
The doors to the briefing opened and he stepped inside.
"WELCOME BACK!"
The cacophony of voices hit Kyle just as his eyes registered the group of people in the room.
It was his mission team.
Mon Mothma stood in front of the assembled group.
"I thought your team might be interested in hearing your debriefing as well, Kyle."
Silence reigned for a moment.
"Well c'mon Kyle!" called Bjrn Fallqvist, "say something!"
"Um… I'm back?"
A shout of joy went up from the assembled crowd.
Mon Mothma managed to calm the group so she could speak.
"We will have a proper celebration once Jan gets out of Sickbay. But for now, your team wishes to welcome you home."
Another shout went up and the group moved towards him, nearly en masse.
Commander Thonas was the first to take his hand.
"Welcome back, Kyle."
"Thank you, sir."
Aldarion and Undomiel each took one of his hands.
"We knew you'd make it back safely," they said together.
"Only because of the intelligence work you two did," Kyle said, "thanks."
"You're welcome," they said.
"How was my shield?" asked Brolly.
"Took quite a pounding," Kyle admitted, "but it saved me more than once. I can't thank you enough for it."
The weapons chief looked a bit embarrassed, but pleased as well.
Kyle turned to Mach Farcon and Atarn Daman.
"And the recharging module you two made worked perfectly."
Both men smiled.
"I knew it would," said Mach Farcon."
"You hoped it would," said Atarn Daman
"Well it did," said Mach Farcon.
"True," said Atarn Daman, "it did. Nice work."
"You did good, Kyle," said Dav Flamerock, "congratulations."
"Thanks!"
"So how'd it go with the smugglers?" asked Manus Dei.
"Believe it or not," Kyle replied, "I think I made friends with a Trandoshan!"
"You're kidding me," said Manus Dei.
Kyle shook his head.
"I'll tell you later. It's almost unbelievable."
"Kyle," said Catiene Tails, "Luntic and I want to tell you two things."
"Yeah?"
"First off," Luntic said, raising a finger.
"We still hate your ship!" they said together.
Kyle burst out laughing.
"And welcome back," said Catiene.
"Yeah, welcome back," added Luntic.
"Thank you ladies," said Kyle.
"Welcome back, sir," said Fensta.
"Thank you," Kyle said, "and thanks for your hard work with the fuel station and all."
"So it went well then?" asked Fensta.
"I'm here, aren't I?" said Kyle.
Wexter was the last to come up, holding out his hand.
The two men clasped arms warmly.
"Good to see you on your feet, Kyle."
"Thanks, Wexter. Have you heard about Jan yet?"
"No," the older man said, a concerned expression on his face, "how is she?"
"Doc Berth says she's gonna be fine. She was resting when I left."
"I'll have to go by and see her," Wexter said.
Just then, Mon Mothma cleared her throat, loudly.
The conversation and hubbub around Kyle gradually faded, every eye in the room turning to her.
"All right then. I know you all are happy to have Kyle and Jan back safely. However, there is a time for celebration and a time for work."
She turned to Kyle.
"Commander Katarn, if you will please begin the debriefing."
"As you wish, Mon Mothma," Kyle said, stepping to the table and taking a seat.
The room briefly filled with the sound of chairs being moved as the others took seats as well.
Mon Mothma activated the recorder.
"Now, you departed from the New Hope and…?"
Kyle opened his mouth and began speaking.
Rebel Command Ship New Hope
Mon Mothma's Briefing Room
Four hours later
"… and once Wexter and I exchanged code phrases, we made the jump back here and landed in the hangar bay."
Kyle took another sip of juri juice. He felt as if he had been talking forever. Aside from a quick break to each lunch, there had been few breaks in his narrative, except when Mon Mothma asked him to clarify a particular point.
Kyle's team members' expressions ranged from nonplussed to excited as he went over the mission details.
Even Mon Mothma felt amazed at all that Kyle had endured.
"All in all," Kyle said, "I can say one definite thing about this mission."
"And that is?" Mon Mothma asked.
"You were right. It was crazy."
A chorus of laughter filled the room.
Mon Mothma shut down the recorder.
"Yes it was, Kyle. But the fact remains that you succeeded and have returned safely. Now, there is other matter of business before I dismiss you."
Mon Mothma reached to the slim box on the desk.
"Please rise," she said to Kyle.
He did so, wondering what was going on.
Mon Mothma, along with the mission team, rose to their collective feet.
"Kyle Katarn," she intoned, picking the box up and holding it out towards him, "in recognition of your performance on a supremely difficult mission, rescuing a colleague and ending the Dark Trooper menace, I award you the Star of Alderaan, the Rebellion's second highest commendation.
She pressed a switch and the box opened. Inside the case attached to a red and green sat a five pointed star of burnished silver. A single white stone sat in the center of the star.
Kyle stared at it, not knowing what to say.
"Congratulations, Kyle," Mon Mothma said.
Applause filled the room as Kyle's team congratulated him.
"Wait," he said.
The applause died away.
"I don't deserve this."
Silence filled the room, every eye staring at Kyle as it he had just spontaneously grown horns.
Looking around, he saw the expressions.
"Seriously," he said, "I don't deserve this, Mon Mothma. If not for the support and hard work of my team, this mission would have never succeeded. This award belongs to them too.
Relief swept the room.
"Well spoken, Kyle," said Commander Thonas.
A chorus of similar statements filled the room.
But standing opposite them, Mon Mothma did not join in. She had seen something, something in Kyle's face. It was only there for a moment, but it had definitely been there.
Something is bothering Kyle. When I handed him the medal, he looked almost stricken.
Just then, the comm chime sounded.
Mon Mothma pressed the receive control.
"This is Mon Mothma."
"Doctor Berth here. I hope I'm not interrupting, but I have some news."
"What is it, Doctor?"
"Jan just woke up."
Kyle's eyes went wide at hearing this.
"How is she, Doc?"
"She's fine, Kyle. In fact, she's asking for you."
Kyle looked to Mon Mothma, still wide eyed, the unasked question hanging in the air.
"Go ahead," she said, smiling at him, "I'll be along presently."
So preoccupied was Kyle that he nearly ignored his team members as he turned to go.
"People," he said, "I…"
"We understand, Kyle," Wexter said, "go on."
With a huge smile directed at all of them, Kyle nearly ran to the door.
Sickbay
Three minutes later
Skidding to a stop in front of the Sickbay, Kyle took a minute to get his breathing under control, having run all the way from the briefing room.
I need to be in control when I see her. Assuming she'll see me at all.
"It's your fault!" echoed inside his mind.
"I know," he muttered.
It took another minute for his breathing to return to normal.
The doors parted as he moved towards them and into the room.
Doctor Berth saw him first.
"There you are," he said, looking at Kyle.
"Yeah," Kyle said, then noticed Berth's smirk, "What?"
"You can't fool me. You ran the whole way here."
Kyle nodded.
Berth smiled at him.
"Well, in this case I understand. You can go in. She's waiting for you.
Kyle opened the only curtained bed in the room. Lifting the drape aside, he called into the space.
"Anyone home?"
"Get your butt in here, Katarn," Jan said harshly, "now."
It was just as he'd feared. .
"Coming," he said, pushing through the drape.
Jan was sitting up in bed, wearing a voluminous white shirt. She was still swathed in bandages, one partially covering her left eye. The other one locked onto Kyle as he moved into the room.
"I've been waiting, Katarn," she said, her face set.
"Sorry," he said, wanting to look away, but unable to.
"Sorry?" she echoed, "you're sorry? I wake up here alone, you gone to who knows where with your friends and…"
Jan's lip suddenly twitched, the corner of her mouth tugging upwards, and before Kyle full realized it, she was laughing.
He stood there, too surprised to react.
What's going on? I thought she was mad. She's got plenty of reason for it.
"I'm sorry, Kyle," Jan said, wiping away tears as she chuckled, "but when I saw your face like that, I just couldn't resist."
Realizing that Kyle was still looking concerned, Jan decided to tone down the humor.
"Hey, Kyle," she said, looking concernedly at him, "it's okay. I was just kidding. I didn't mean to upset you."
The change in his expression was nearly instantaneous.
"Upset me?" he said sarcastically, lifting an eyebrow at her, "oh please, Ors. I…"
I can't do this. Look at her! I did this! I did this to her! It's my fault!
"Kyle?"
Feelings his emotions rising, Kyle turned away.
"I'm sorry, Jan. I… I… need to…"
Kyle found himself suddenly turning away and running out of Sickbay, ignoring Dr. Berth's as he called out.
He ran, not completely sure where he was going. He just knew he needed to get away, away from Jan. Just looking at her brought it all back.
"It's your fault!"
I know!
Kyle knew his quarters were no good. People would be expecting him to go there. His mind raced, trying to think of a place.
Then it came to him.
That'll work. No one will think of looking there.
He turned a corner, heading for the hangar bay.
Sickbay
Ten minutes later
"… he seemed to get suddenly upset," Jan said, talking to Mon Mothma and Dr. Berth, "the next thing I knew, he went running out of here.
"Did he say anything?" asked Mon Mothma.
"Not really. I teased him a bit about waking up here alone. He looked like it bothered him and I apologized. For a second, it seemed like he was gonna say something and then… he bolted."
Mon Mothma and Dr. Berth shared a look.
"What?" Jan asked, "What is it? What's going on?"
Silence reigned.
"Please," Jan entreated, "someone, tell me something."
Mon Mothma nodded and Dr. Berth spoke.
"I think something happened to Kyle post-mission, Jan."
He went on to describe how Kyle had been the previous night and then again this morning.
Mon Mothma chimed in with how Kyle had acted when she had awarded him the medal.
"For a moment, he looked very upset. It was as if he felt ashamed accepting it."
Jan thought for a moment, and then nodded her head.
"I know what's wrong with him."
"What is it, Jan?" Dr. Berth asked.
"Did Kyle tell you what happened on the Arc Hammer, Mon Mothma?"
The elder woman nodded.
"He said that General Mohc was using you as a shield and that he was able to wound the General badly enough to release you."
Jan shook her head.
"Then he didn't tell you everything."
"What do you mean?" Mon Mothma asked.
"I was in and out of consciousness during the battle between them. But there was that Mohc used me to try and get Kyle to surrender. Kyle said no. The General tried again and I remember telling Kyle to do what he had to or something like that. That's when the General tried to make a piñata out of me."
Both Dr. Berth and Mon Mothma shuddered at the thought of what Jan had endured.
"It must have been horrible," Berth said.
"Oh it was," Jan confirmed, "but that's not my point. Mon Mothma, you know what happened between me and Kyle on Ergo when he killed Frenden Moxgond."
"Yes."
"Well, think about it. In each instance, whether by accident or intentional action by someone else, I got hurt because of something Kyle did or didn't do."
Mon Mothma was the first to say it.
"He blames himself."
"Exactly," Jan said.
"Wait a minute," Dr. Berth interjected, "you mean to tell me Kyle is blaming himself for you getting hurt and what happened today and last night…"
"Was Kyle punishing himself," Jan concluded.
"That's crazy," Berth said, "blaming himself for you getting hurt is ridiculous. He rescued you."
Jan nodded.
"I know, Doctor. But that's what Kyle does. He doesn't mind getting hurt himself during a mission. But if someone else is, he takes it personally."
"What should we do, Jan?" Mon Mothma asked.
"Well, he's probably off somewhere hiding right now, telling himself it's all his fault or something stupid like that."
"We've got to find him," Berth said.
"Indeed, Doctor," Mon Mothma said, "I agree. But this is not a small ship. He could be anywhere."
A light came into Jan's eyes
"I know where he is."
"You do?" Berth said, "Where?"
"The one place he doesn't think anyone will think to look," Jan replied, "the Crow's cockpit."
"Jan," Mon Mothma said gravely, "tell me. Will he try anything, like trying to leave the ship?"
The younger woman shrugged.
"He might. I'd guess Kyle's pretty wound up now. He might just think he needs to get away."
"We should lock down the hangar then," Mon Mothma said.
Jan shook her head.
"That'd just spook him. And he might do something even more stupid."
"Then what do we do?"
Jan turned to the doctor.
"Dr. Berth, is there some way you can get me down there?"
"To the hangar?" he asked incredulously," you're not serious, Jan. You just got out of surgery. You need to rest."
"Look," she said firmly, "this thing involves me directly and I know Kyle. I can talk to him."
"You're no psychologist," Berth scoffed,
"No," she returned with equal ardor, "but I am his friend. He'll listen to me."
"How do you know this, Jan?" Mon Mothma asked.
"Because he trusts me."
No one said anything for a moment.
"Are you certain you can do this?" Mon Mothma inquired.
"I wouldn't ask to go down there if I didn't think I could," Jan replied.
"Doctor Berth," the older woman said, "Can Jan use one of the repulsor chairs?"
Berth stared at Mon Mothma for a long moment, seeing if she was serious about this.
"I suppose so. But I'm going on record as opposing this."
"So noted," Mon Mothma said.
Retrieving some clothes, the older woman helped Jan dress while Berth retrieved the chair. It was an oversize affair with plump cushions designed to cradle the body.
Together, Mon Mothma and Dr. Berth helped Jan out of bed and into the chair.
After experimenting with the controls, Jan addressed them.
"Okay, I'm ready."
"Are you certain about going alone, Jan?" Mon Mothma asked.
"Yes. If Kyle sees security coming, he'll probably bolt again."
"All right," the Rebel leader replied, "but I am going to have Puan on alert to close the hangar bay doors if Kyle tries to launch.
Jan nodded.
"Be careful," the doctor said.
"I've already been through hell and back, doctor," Jan said, "this'll be a walk in the park."
And with that, she sent the repulsor chair towards the Sickbay doors. They parted and she passed through them.
"Thank you for allowing this, Doctor," Mon Mothma said after the doors had closed.
"I just hope nothing bad happens to either of them," he said.
"Agreed," Mon Mothma replied.
Rebel Command Ship New Hope
Hangar Bay
Twenty minutes later
Kyle sat in the darkness of the Moldy Crow's cockpit, holding himself as he shivered.
This is getting bad, he thought, I… I may have to leave here.
Kyle realized that doing so presented its own set of problems. But his mind kept drifting to Jan, seeing her in Sickbay, on Ergo, on the Arc Hammer
"It's your fault!"
"Leave me alone," he said to no one.
At the moment, over the sounds of the hangar bay he had become accustomed to, he heard a new one.
It sounded like a repulsor, but not a big one.
However, it was getting closer.
Hunching down, Kyle pulled himself further into the cockpit so as to avoid being detected by anyone.
The repulsor sound got closer, stopped.
What's going on?
A voice called up from below.
"Kyle?"
Caught by surprise, Kyle found himself answering.
"Jan? What are you doing here? You're supposed to be resting."
"I came looking for you."
"Well you found me," he answered sarcastically, "Good for you. Now go away."
"I'm not leaving, Kyle."
Feeling sudden annoyance, Kyle let it enter his voice.
"Leave me alone, Jan. I don't want to see you."
"Don't speak that way to me, Kyle," she answered with equal emotion.
Blast! What am I doing! She just got out of surgery. Why in the universe am I being mean to her?
"Look," he said, a bit more calmly, "I'm sorry, Jan. But I'm serious too. I don't want to see you right now."
"Then you can listen, Katarn. I know what's going on, what you're doing to yourself right now."
"What do you mean?"
"You can fool the others, Kyle, but not me. You're blaming yourself because I got hurt."
Kyle felt as if an arrow had struck at the center of his feelings.
She knows! But how! I didn't say anything…Or did I?
"You're wrong," he said quickly.
"No, I'm not," she replied, "I saw your face, Kyle. And Mon Mothma told me how you reacted when she gave that medal."
He said nothing.
"Kyle, sitting in that cockpit blaming yourself and tying your guts up into knots doesn't change anything. I got hurt, so what?"
"Because of me!" he shouted.
"On Ergo, maybe," she admitted, "but I saw your face then too, Kyle. You were so upset that I could feel it. I know it wasn't on purpose."
"But on the Arc Hammer…"
"That was General Mohc's doing, Kyle, not yours."
"I made it happen!"
"Kyle, if you hadn't come, I'd be dead now, or worse. You rescued me and now I'm back here on the New Hope, safe."
"But…"
"Kyle?"
"What?"
"Get down here and talk to me."
The thought of that filled Kyle with horror. He imagined Jan's face, glaring at him with anger.
"I… don't know… if I can, Jan."
"Kyle?"
"What?"
"Lean over and look at me."
"I…"
"Now, Katarn," she said firmly.
I'll just look, he thought. I'll just look and if she's angry, I can pull my head right back in.
Moving slowly, Kyle pushed himself out of the cockpit and leaned his head out of the cockpit.
He looked down.
Jan looked up at him.
She was smiling. Even with the bandages covering parts of her face, he could see it.
She's smiling. She's… not mad?
He looked again.
She was still smiling at him.
"Kyle," she said, "come down here and talk to me."
Still feeling a bit afraid, Kyle hesitated.
"Kyle, this chair is very comfortable. Please don't make me get out of it to come get you."
Despite the storm of feelings inside him, Kyle chuckled.
"Like you could," he muttered.
"Don't push me, Katarn," she answered.
Realizing there was no way he would win this battle, Kyle decided to capitulate, at least for the time being. He levered himself out of the cockpit, stepped down and onto the deck.
Jan sat in the repulsor-equipped chair, looking up at him.
"C'mon," she said, "let's go somewhere and talk."
"Jan, I…"
Kyle felt warmth touch his left hand.
Looking down, he saw Jan's right hand encircling his.
"It's okay, Kyle," she said sincerely, "no one is mad at you."
"They aren't?"
"Nope," Jan said confidently, "confused and maybe a little scared. But not mad."
"You sure?"
"Have I ever lied to you?" she quipped.
"No," he said, and then with a trace of sarcasm added, "well there was that one time, and another after that…"
"Katarn?"
"Yes, Jan?"
"Shut up."
"Yes, Jan."
Feeling a bit less concerned now, Kyle followed the repulsor chair containing Jan out of the hangar bay.
Watching from his station, Puan Gell saw this and contacted Mon Mothma, letting her know the situation appeared to have been resolved.
As they stepped into the corridor, Kyle asked a question.
"Where are we going?"
"Your quarters," she said.
"Why Miss Ors," he said with a bit more sarcasm, "how daring."
She fought the urge to swat at him. Just reaching for Kyle's hand had hurt.
Maybe Dr. Berth was right about me pushing things too fast, too soon.
"Well, I'm certainly not letting you into mine, Katarn. I have a reputation to uphold. Besides, I've already seen your place."
"True," Kyle added.
Reaching the room, Kyle opened the door, then stepped aside as Jan floated in.
Letting the door slide close behind him, Kyle started to move to the room's small kitchen.
"You want some tea, Jan? I…"
"Sit down, Katarn," she said, "tea later, talk now."
Feeling a renewed rush of fear, Kyle moved to his bed and sat upon it. Jan moved until she was as close as she could be without running him over.
A scene crossed Kyle's mind.
"This kinda feels like déjà vu," he said.
"What do you mean?" Jan asked.
"Don't you remember? We were together in here like this once before."
Jan look confused, and then the memory came back to her.
"Then you should remember that I'm not going to leave until we hash this out," Jan said firmly.
Kyle opened his mouth to speak, closed it, not sure exactly what to say.
"All right," Jan said, settling herself in the repulsor-equipped chair, "first off, explain to me once again why it is you're responsible for me getting hurt."
Kyle hesitated, not sure he could say precisely what he was feeling.
But as he looked into Jan's resolute expression, he began speaking.
And so it began. Kyle talked, Jan asked questions. More than once, Kyle gave into the emotions swirling inside him.
"It's okay, Kyle," Jan kept saying, "it's okay. Let it out."
Reliving the experiences aboard the Arc Hammer through Kyle's eyes, Jan was overcome at times herself. Pain she hadn't realized she had buried came pouring out.
Kyle did his best to support her, at one point reaching out and laying his hand atop hers. Jan turned her hand over and their fingers interlinked. Strength and sympathy were shared; words of forgiveness and acceptance were exchanged.
Nearly two hours passed.
The two of them stared at each for a long moment.
Then, without preamble, Jan yawned mightily.
Unable to help himself, Kyle laughed.
She glared at him, but with no real force.
"It isn't funny, Katarn."
"Tell to that someone who didn't see your face just now, Jan. Not to mention your uvula."
She raised an arm.
"If I wasn't in this chair…"
Kyle shield himself, still chuckling.
"Jan?"
"What, Katarn?"
He looked directly into her eyes.
"Thank you."
It was only two words, spoken by trillions of other beings. But for the two of them, the words carried with them much more than simple gratitude.
"You're welcome, Kyle," she said sincerely, "We're friends aren't we?"
"Yes," he said, standing and moving to stand behind her chair, "yes we are."
Jan felt sudden warmth as Kyle's hand touched hers.
She let her fingers link with his again.
"We're friends," he repeated, "and maybe, just maybe, something more?"
Jan felt her face grow suddenly warm.
Did he just say what I think he said?
Standing behind her, Kyle's face was equally red.
He wasn't sure if had been the right thing to say those words. He wondered if he might be pushing their relationship beyond proper bounds.
But, he thought, examining himself and his motives, it's how I honestly feel.
There was a long pause, neither of them speaking.
Kyle felt Jan squeeze his hand.
"Maybe, Katarn," she said quietly, "maybe."
Feeling a mixture of embarrassment and elation, Kyle stepped around to the side of the chair and looked down.
Jan was looking up at him.
A second later, both looked away, feeling very embarrassed.
There was another pause.
"I'm tired," Jan said, "can you take me back to Sickbay?"
"Sure," Kyle answered quickly.
Moving back behind the chair, Kyle gently pulled the chair backwards then turned it around.
He noticed Jan's face was looking down, her hair obscuring her face.
Opening the door, he pushed the chair through, then turned again, heading for Sickbay.
Neither of them spoke the whole way there. Each was too wrapped up in what the other had said.
Sickbay
Ten minutes later
Doctor Berth was waiting for them, coming forward as they entered the room.
"Are you all right, Jan?" he asked, his expression concerned.
"Yes," she said confidently, then yawned, "but I am tired."
"No surprise there," Berth said, glaring a Kyle for a moment, "you weren't in the best condition to leave here in the first place. If Mon Mothma hadn't insisted…"
"Doctor…" she began.
"Look Doc, I…" Kyle began.
"No," the doctor said firmly, "not another word from either of you. I've had enough of both of you for one day."
Taking the repulsor chair from Kyle, Berth guided it to Jan's bed, helping her out of it and into bed.
"Doctor," she tried again.
"I mean it, Jan," he said firmly, practically glaring at her, "not another word. You need your rest."
Realizing that pushing any harder wasn't going to help, Jan complied.
When the doctor was done reattaching her IV and making sure the readings on the monitor looked okay, he emerged from the curtained area to see Kyle standing there, apparently waiting for him.
"Good night, Kyle," he said, not looking at the other man.
"Doc, please," Kyle said, "I want to…"
"One more word and I'm calling Security to have you escorted out of here, Kyle."
Kyle said nothing, but he didn't leave either.
"You know," said Berth, "I can understand what you felt, Kyle. I go through it every time I lose a patient, when the damage of this war claims the life of another friend. But what you caused to happen here today was unconscionable."
"I…"
"Shut up," Berth said, "You run out of here, acting like a child crying for his mommy. And then, one of my patients, barely out of surgery and still recovering, decides she has to go after you so you won't do something stupid."
Kyle said nothing.
"You should know better than anyone else that people get hurt in war. It's inevitable and it's sad. But you are no more responsible for it than I am."
"I know that," Kyle said quietly, "… now."
He turned to go, feeling ashamed.
"Kyle," the doctor called.
Pausing, Kyle turned back around.
Berth ran a hand across his head.
His expression was a bit softer.
"I know you didn't do this meaning to hurt anyone else. This blasted war is destroying lives all over the galaxy. Don't let it destroy yours, okay?"
Kyle accepted the olive branch.
"I'll try."
"Good," Berth said, voice a bit more friendly, "and tomorrow, let's have breakfast. We can talk more then. You should rest too, after what you put yourself through."
"I'll do that, Doc," Kyle said, smiling a bit, "Sorry about today and thanks too. See you in the morning."
With that, Kyle turned and left Sickbay, feeling alternately shamed over his behavior, but grateful that Berth was still his friend.
On his way to his quarters, Kyle made one more stop.
Guessing that Mon Mothma might still be there, he stopped by her briefing room.
She was indeed there, and before she could say a word, Kyle apologized.
To his surprise, Mon Mothma didn't give him a second chewing out Instead, she simply accepted the apology.
"Something happened before you came here," she observed.
"Yeah," Kyle admitted, "Doctor Berth and I talked."
"Oh?"
"Well, more like he yelled and I listened."
"I see," Mon Mothma said, "I hope you took his words to heart."
"Yes, Mon Mothma," he said gravely, "I did."
"Very well then, Kyle," she said, "but before you go, there is one matter we need to take care of."
Confused, he looked at her.
"And that is?"
She pulled out the slim box containing his medal, placing it on the table.
Kyle stared at it for a long moment. He considered what the medal meant, the reason it was being given to him.
He shook his head.
"Kyle…" she began.
"Mon Mothma," he said, interrupting, "what I said earlier about this medal, I really don't deserve it."
"Then what would you have me do, Kyle," she asked, feeling incredulous at his response.
He thought about it for a moment.
"If I could," he said, "I'd give everyone on my team part of the medal as well as Jan. They deserve it more than I do."
Mon Mothma stared at him for a moment, considering the words Kyle had said.
Then it came to her.
"All right, Kyle," she said, "what if each of the records of your team and Jan's note the award of the Star of Alderaan? How do you feel about that?"
Kyle smiled.
"I like it, Mon Mothma."
"Very well then, I will attend to it personally."
"Thank you," Kyle said, sincerely.
She nodded at him.
"You're dismissed. Get some rest."
"I will."
Rebel Command Ship New Hope
Six Days Later
The hangar bay was filled with the noise of people celebrating. With Jan discharged from Sickbay and pronounced fit for duty a day earlier, Mon Mothma had declared a ship-wide celebration for today.
Kyle's hands and back nearly ached from all the handshakes and backslaps he had accepted.
His whole team came up to him at different intervals throughout the day, each of them expressing gratitude to him for the award they had received.
Jan too, was a center of activity, people crowing over how well she looked and congratulating her on her recovery.
And then there were the stories.
Both Kyle and Jan heard various versions of what had happened aboard the Arc Hammer, each seemingly more fanciful than the previous one.
You'd think I took on the whole ship and crew by myself, Kyle thought.
Oh please! Jan thought, the way people are talking, you'd think I had superpowers or something.
The only one who didn't seem bothered by it was Wexter, whom they both saw at different times, encircled by a cloud of seeming admirers, explaining how it wasn't easy being a hero, but he did what he could.
I almost feel like telling them about Wexter forgetting my weapons when we went on the first Ergo mission, Kyle thought.
A number of people also asked Kyle about his beard, which was growing in with each passing day.
"You look like a professor or something," said Bjrn Fallqvist.
"I think he looks intelligent," said Nerwen Aldarion.
"Mmm hmm, "added Tinuviel Undomiel, "very much the intellectual."
"Well thanks," Kyle replied.
"Doesn't it itch?" asked Mach Farcon.
"I'll bet food gets stuck in it," added Atarn Daman.
"You guys want to check?" Kyle asked.
The two men looked at each other, and then shook her heads.
"You sure you don't want the shield again, Kyle?" chided Brolly, "it might just save you here tonight."
"I'll consider it, Chief," Kyle said, laughing.
"I don't know," said Dav Flamerock, "it kinda makes you look older."
"Well considering I was once called Cadet Babyface, looking older doesn't sound so bad."
The two men laughed.
"Thank you so much for the award, Kyle," said Catiene Tails.
"It was the last thing either of us expected," said Luntic Pandora.
"You all deserved it," Kyle replied.
"Even me?" asked Fensta.
"Especially you!" Kyle exclaimed, "The way I navigate sometimes, I might have ended up at Kessel!"
"Or Corellia!" added Manus Dei.
"Maybe!" Kyle returned.
Just then, Caston Droum appeared.
"Welcome back, my friend,"
The two men hugged, Caston thumping Kyle on the back.
"Don't make me worry like that again," Caston said when the two had parted.
"Sorry," Kyle said.
Caston waved the apology away.
"The main thing is you and Jan are both back safe."
He pressed a drink into Kyle's left hand, held his own up.
"Now let us drink. To friends!"
"To friends!' Kyle and the others around him shouted.
The party continued throughout the day, only breaking up when supervisors and section chiefs were forced to call their personnel back to duty.
Kyle looked around for Jan, but she wasn't there,
Huh. Wonder where she went. Oh well, I'll find her eventually.
Kyle returned to his quarters and was about to lay down for a bit of rest when he noticed the message light flashing on his comm station.
Stepping over, he pressed the proper sequence of buttons and the message displayed.
Kyle read it once, then a second time.
"No way," he said aloud, "she cannot be serious."
Just then, the door chime sounded.
When the door slid aside, he found a crewer he didn't know holding a large bag.
"Yes?"
"Compliments of Mon Mothma, sir," the crewperson said, handing the bag to Kyle.
"Thanks," Kyle said, "I think."
"Mon Mothma asked me to remind you to be in the reception hall at 1830 sharp, sir."
Realizing he was trapped, Kyle knew his adversary would have cut off any chance of escape.
He decided to surrender.
"All right," he said to the crewer, "tell her I'll be there."
"Yes, sir," the crewperson said, stepping away.
As the door closed behind him, Kyle took the bag to his bed and lay it down.
He noticed the zipper running across the middle and pulled it down.
"Aw, no! No way! I'm gonna get you for this, Mon Mothma!"
Rebel Command Ship New Hope
Reception Hall
1830 Hours
I feel like a fool, Kyle thought, looking down at himself.
The garment bag had contained a full dress uniform, which he now wore.
The white jacket he wore was V-shaped and flared over the black pants he wore. The shirt underneath the jacket was also black. Two stripes, colored medium red, ran down the lapels of the jacket.
But what Kyle found most embarrassing was the commander's rank pin he wore on one lapel.
The room had about twenty or so of the senior officers and staff of the New Hope in it. Low, pleasant music could just be heard above the hum of conversations.
Of all the things to forget to ask Mon Mothma to do, why couldn't she just have rescinded the rank when I got back?
"Good evening, Kyle," a familiar voice said,
He turned and saw General Madine standing there, wearing his own dress uniform.
Automatically, Kyle saluted.
Madine waved his hand.
"None of that here, Kyle. We're both a long way from the Empire."
Realizing what he was doing, Kyle pulled his hand down quickly, letting it hang at his side.
"Sorry, General. Old habit."
Madine nodded.
"So, how does it feel to be a hero?"
Kyle shook his head.
"I'm no hero, General. In fact, I feel ridiculous with this thing on. I've never been officer material."
Kyle indicated the rank pin he wore.
Madine shrugged.
"You might think so. But I beg to differ. I saw your mission report. You took charge of a team of people from nearly every department here and focused them on a single goal. And you succeeded."
Kyle considered his former teacher's words.
"I don't know, sir. Maybe you're right. But it just doesn't feel that way."
"Remember this, Kyle. Some men are born great, others achieve greatness and still others have it thrust upon them."
"I don't think I understand, General."
"Few men are born great, Kyle. And those who have greatness thrust upon them are often unable to handle it. But men like you, who achieve greatness, can stay humble enough to manage it. You showed excellence at the Academy, but never arrogance. You've done great things here, but you never made it about you."
"I never wanted anything like this," Kyle said, gesturing at the other people, the men resplendent in dress uniforms, the women in likewise splendid dresses, "I just… wanted to make my father proud."
"Then hold on to that," Madine said, nodding, "it'll keep you grounded. But for now, enjoy yourself. Things like this don't happen every day."
Just then, the object of Kyle's ire, tapped a spoon against the glass she was holding.
"If I may have everyone's attention please, "Mon Mothma called.
Conversations ended and each person turned to look at the Rebel Leader who stood at one side of the room.
"We are gathered here tonight to recognize two of fellow soldiers. One you know well. The other joined us recently and has proven himself invaluable to this ship and crew. Most of you know now about the mission against the Arc Hammer. Led by General Rom Mohc, this ship carried a weapon of such destructive power, that it may have changed the course of the war. It was called the Dark Trooper."
She paused to let that sink in.
"But because of the heroic efforts of these two individuals, the Arc Hammer, General Mohc and his Dark Troopers have been destroyed. Tonight, we celebrate their victory. Kyle Katarn and Jan Ors, please come forward."
Applause began to fill the room and Kyle saw Madine join in.
"Get up there, Kyle," the General prompted.
Feeling embarrassed and a bit silly, Kyle nevertheless walked forward to where Mon Mothma was and at her direction, took a place to the left side.
It was then he saw Jan.
She was a green dress that varied in shades of the color, dark near the top, growing lighter as you went down. Part of the neckline flared out, covering her collarbone and the tops of her shoulders. The middle of the bodice scooped down modestly.
Jan's bare arms lay at her sides and only a bit of leg showed below the skirt and above the lime green shoes she wore. Her brown hair was piled atop her head, held in place with a set of silver clips and combs, exposing her slender neck.
Kyle felt his jaw fall open as his eyes took her in.
But Jan seemed none too happy as her eyes met his.
It took only a moment for Kyle to read her expression.
Keep your mouth shut, Katarn.
Kyle closed his mouth, but couldn't keep the smile from his face.
She's beautiful.
Jan moved until she stood to Mon Mothma's right, barely a hands breadth away from him.
Having Kyle and Jan both turn to face the assemblage, Mon Mothma spoke again.
"These two have endured a great deal to be here today. One of their first missions was to steal the plans to the Death Star that were later transmitted to Princess Leia. If not for their willingness to go on the mission as well as bravery and tenacity in completing it, I doubt any of us would be here today."
I didn't exactly have a choice at the time, thought Kyle.
"Kyle and Jan were the first to alert us of the Dark Trooper menace, having encountered one during a mission. Because of them, we were alerted to this new threat and were able to take action. And if not for Kyle willing to infiltrate the Arc Hammer, rescue the captured Jan Ors and deal a fatal blow to the Dark Trooper project, we would all be in grave danger.
Jeez, Jan thought, way to make me sound like the damsel in distress.
"And so," Mon Mothma concluded, "it is with pleasure that I present the Rebellion newest heroes, Kyle Katarn and Jan Ors!"
Both Jan and Kyle felt their faces warm as the group applauded them.
"And now," Mon Mothma said when the applause had died down, "let the celebration continue."
Both Kyle and Jan graciously accepted the congratulations offered to them.
Sometime later, finally able to escape the crowd of well wishers, they both sat down at a table on the other side of the room.
"Whew," Kyle said, pulling the shirt's stiff collar, "I never thought that was going to end."
"You're telling me," Jan echoed, "you'd think we'd captured the Emperor."
Kyle nodded, agreeing.
"You want something to drink?" he asked.
"Sure," she replied, "I'm feeling very dry."
Kyle stood up, spotting the refreshment area.
"Hey Jan?"
She looked up at him.
"What?"
"You really look beautiful."
Before she could reply, Kyle had stepped away.
You sneaky little…" she thought, watching him go, I'm gonna get you when you come back here.
Still, as she watched Kyle getting drinks for both of them and some food, she felt herself wavering a little.
When Kyle returned to the table and set two plates and glasses down for them, she spoke.
"Kyle?"
"Yes, Jan?"
"You look nice too."
She saw the stunned look appear on Kyle's face and couldn't help but laugh.
"Hey!" he complained, "no fair!"
"Sorry," she said, smiling at him, "but seriously Kyle, I mean it. You look nice in that uniform."
"I feel like a clown," he said, "besides look at you, Jan. I've never seen you like this before. You're… really pretty."
"Well, if you feel like a clown," she said, "then I feel like part of circus act in this thing."
"Mon Mothma?" he asked.
"How'd you know?"
"Me too," he replied.
Jan shook her head.
"She's pretty clever."
"And she has the authority to get away with it," Kyle added.
Jan laughed at that.
"You're right."
The two fell silent, not looking at each other.
It was then Jan noticed some of the group had begun to dance.
"Look," she said to Kyle.
He followed her pointing finger.
"Hey," he said, "those two. Isn't that Mon Mothma and General Madine?"
Jan looked.
"You're right, it is."
The two of them watched the couple for a bit.
Jan looked at Kyle.
He really does look handsome, she thought.
She thought of the words exchanged in his quarters and decided to go for it.
"Kyle?"
He turned to look at her.
"Yes?"
"Would you dance with me?"
The blood seemed to drain away from Kyle's face in an instant.
"Wh… Wh… Wha… What… What… did… you say?"
She smiled at him.
"I want to dance with you."
He looked strickened.
"I don't know, Jan."
"You don't want to?"
"It's not that," Kyle admitted, his face flushing with embarrassment, "I… I don't… I don't know how."
Jan's smile broadened.
Her gamble was paying off.
"It's okay," she said, rising to her feet, "I can show you."
Kyle looked very nervous.
"Jan, I… I don't want to embarrass you. If I mess up or something…"
Moving to stand next to him, Jan put a hand on his shoulder and leaned down, bringing her face close to his.
"Kyle?"
"Yes?"
"Trust me."
Staring up into her face, Kyle still felt nervous, but decided he could at least try.
He stood up.
"Okay, let's go."
"Here," she said, gesturing, "take my hand."
Following her instructions, Kyle slipped his hand under hers and together, the two of them walked to where the others were dancing.
"Now," Jan said, "put your right hand here and your left here."
She took Kyle's right hand in her left and placed his left hand on her side, just above her waist, the fabric of the dress crinkling slightly. She placed her right hand on his shoulder.
Kyle looked down at her and Jan could see he was feeling self-conscious.
"Relax," she said, "just move with me. It's easy."
"Oh-okay," he said, swallowing with a gulping sound.
Slowly, Jan moved and Kyle followed. They moved back and forth, then side to side.
"That's it," she said, smiling up at him, "you're doing fine."
They continued, Kyle getting more and more comfortable with each step.
Soon, his look of nervousness was replaced with a smile.
"This is kinda fun," he said.
"See what happens when you listen to me?" she said.
Seated a short distance away, Mon Mothma and General Madine gazed at the dancing couple.
"They look pretty good together," Madine observed.
"Indeed," Mon Mothma said.
He waited a short bit.
"Ten credits says he kisses her right here," Madine challenged.
"I do not like betting games, General," Mon Mothma said, then with a wink added, "Especially when the outcome is so clear. Fifteen credits that Kyle waits until after the party."
The General smiled at her.
"You're on."
Rebel Command Ship New Hope
The corridor outside Jan Ors' quarters
Four hours later
"I am tired," Kyle said, stifling a yawn.
"So am I," Jan echoed, "I don't think I've danced that much in a while."
"Was it too much?" Kyle asked concernedly.
"I enjoyed every moment of it," Jan said smiling at him.
They stopped at the door to her quarters.
"Ugh, I can't wait to get inside and get this dress off," she said, looking down at herself.
"Me too," Kyle said, "the neck on this thing has no give at all."
"Well then," Jan said, a bit awkwardly, "I guess we should say good night then."
"I guess we should," Kyle echoed, also feeling awkward.
Silence descended.
Neither of them moved.
"Did you notice the way Mon Mothma and General Madine were looking at us?" Kyle asked.
"Yes, I did," Jan said, frowning, "what was that all about?"
"Wish I knew," Kyle said, shrugging.
Silence descended again.
"I'd better get inside," Jan said.
"Yeah," Kyle replied.
He turned to go.
Jan decided.
"Kyle, wait a second."
He stopped, faced her again.
"Something wrong?" he asked.
"No," she answered, "I just…"
No regrets, Jan, she told herself.
She reached out a hand, touched Kyle's face.
"I don't know if I like this beard, Katarn."
"Really?" he said, "I kinda do."
Jan ran her hand along the side of his face, feeling the hairs touch her skin.
"Kyle, I…"
"Jan?"
"What?"
"Shut up."
Kyle bent down, closing his eyes.
Jan closed hers as well, keeping her hand where it was as Kyle's lips touched hers.
Both felt as in an electrical shock had gone off in their bodies.
Jan slid her other arm up and around Kyle's neck.
He responded by reaching out and wrapping his arms around her.
Jan let Kyle pull her close.
I didn't know it would feel like this, they both thought.
It seemed nearly an eternity before Jan gently broke the kiss.
"That was nice, Katarn."
"I liked it too," he said, gazing at her.
She slid her arm off him and Kyle released her.
They stood there for a long moment, looking at each other.
"Still friends?" he asked, not sure why he had said that.
She nodded.
"And just maybe something more."
They smiled at each other.
Kyle turned to go.
"Good night, Jan."
"Good night, Kyle."
He walked off and Jan entered her quarters.
Both of them had the same thought.
I think I might love her.
I think I might love him.
The End… For Now
Be watching for one last part, coming very, very soon!!