Chapter 25

Spencer paced through the waiting room, scanning the magazines on the table top. Pictures of chubby baby faces smiled up from every cover and he picked one up at random, reading through the articles cover to cover within a minute. He chose another as he began to pace again. Scarlett noticed him read through it quickly then pick up yet another.

"Spencer," she called his name softly, bringing his attention to her. She saw him skirt around one rambunctious toddler that was running his toy cars around the floor of the office as he moved over to her side.

"What?" he asked, looking down to where she sat. She tugged his hand lightly, drawing him to the seat beside her.

"Sit," she grinned, leaning closer to him. "You're making people nervous pacing like that and tossing magazines…"

He ran his ran through his hair, blowing out a tense breath. "Those are almost all ads… and I'm nervous," he admitted.

"About what?" she asked. "We know everything is okay…" she reminded him. "Dr. Davidson sent all the bloodwork and the ultrasounds ahead- the tests came back fine… This is just a preliminary visit, sweetheart, so the doctor can start a file. No worries…"

"I know," he shrugged, keeping his hand in hers, holding it tightly. "They'll probably repeat the urine test, take a weight and blood pressure, for their own records. Maybe use the Doppler to hear the heartbeat…" he ran a list in his head of everything he'd read about the initial appointment. "They may suggest an amniocentesis for genetic abnormalities…" Scarlett picked up on his nervous shrug.

"I won't go for that…" she told him, seeing his eyes widen at her. She dropped her voice slightly, not wanting any of the other patients to overhear her comments.

"An amnio increases a chance of a miscarriage. I won't do it," she shook her head at him. "Not so the doctors can see something where they can only offer an abortion as a solution. I won't do it Spencer. I won't judge someone else for their choices, but I won't have an abortion. If the baby has any birth defects, then I will handle it, do whatever I can to raise it to have the fullest life it can have…" she told him.

Spencer reached over and took her hand. "Scarlett, do me a favor…" he asked, twisting her rings against her fingers.

"What?"

"Stop saying 'I'…" he said, looking into her eyes only momentarily but she read the hurt in his gaze.

"You keep saying 'I'll' handle it or 'I' will deal with things as they come… but it's we- for everything, but especially with the baby… It's 'we' will handle it. I'm not going anywhere…" he frowned, still toying with her rings nervously instead of meeting her eyes.

"Oh…" Crap… she nudged him so he'd look back up and meet her eyes.

"I didn't realize I was doing that to you, boy… making you feel left out of the decisions… I'm sorry…" she lifted his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles lightly. Spencer blushed, looking around to make sure no one had noticed.

He shook his head quickly. "Don't apologize," he told her. "Just- try thinking differently. I understand it's not something you are used to but you aren't alone anymore…"

"Right, okay…" she huffed out a nervous breath. "Do you disagree with anything I said?" she asked, wondering if he had any objections, what she would do about it…

"No, not really," he lowered his voice to just above a whisper. "Unless the doctor needs the tests for something that can be corrected," he told her.

"If something like that happens, we will deal with it, together, then…" he said, keeping his eyes on hers.

"Mrs. Reid?" a nurse came through the door, calling out into the waiting room.

Scarlett stood up, taking Spencer's hand. "Together, then," she smiled up at him, walking with him into the back offices.

"Hello," the nurse shook both of their hands, introducing herself. "I'm Tina, the OB nurse on staff here. I'll probably be the face you see the most of during your early visits," she smiled at them. "We'll get some information before the doctor comes in to talk to you…"

The woman sat down at the computer in the corner and started making notes as she rattled off questions for Scarlett about how she was feeling, her job, her health, etcetera- all while she took Scarlett's height, weight, blood pressure and temperature.

Spencer noticed that Scarlett started becoming more and more agitated with the questions and he caught her hand as she bit nervously on her thumb. He cocked his brow at her looking from her finger to her mouth, asking what was bothering her so badly. He thought the questions to be quite typical to mundane, even…

"And how about any genetic disorders that run in your family?" the nurse continued, not noticing the exchange behind her back. "Any history of pre-eclampsia, diabetes or complications in pregnancy? Any family history of heart disease or cancer, spinal bifida or any other birth defects?"

Scarlett's eyes rounded and she met Spencer's gaze. That… she mouthed the word to him, letting him realize it had just occurred to her that she didn't have any answers about her family's medical history… her face reddened in a blush.

Oh… Reid squeezed her hand, keeping his eyes on hers. It's okay, he mouthed back and looked over at the nurse when she turned to them at their silence.

"Uh, my wife lost her biological mother in a car accident when she was just six," Spencer said softly, asking the nurse to be understanding. "She doesn't have that information… but we can probably get it…" he looked back at Scarlett. "Penny can pull any medical records on file…" he reminded her gently.

"I guess I should have thought of having her look before," Scarlett shrugged nervously, now worrying about what may be hidden in her bloodline.

"And your biological father?" the woman asked carefully.

Scarlett's eyes went dark. "When he died he had pancreatic cancer- he was an alcoholic…" and an abuser, a pedophile, a psychopath… her mind whispered to her.

Spencer saw the change in her eyes. "Scarlett…" he rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. Stay with me… his look begged hers. He saw her swallow deeply against the bile rising in her throat as she shook her head weakly.

The nurse noticed and stepped up to Scarlett. "These are only routine questions, sweetie. Odds are that none of it will even matter. If you find a medical history on your mother that could possibly carry over to your pregnancy, you let us know, okay?" she closed out her computer screen and turned to leave the room.

"The doctor will be in to see you shortly," she told them, trading a look with Reid to let him know she understood that something was upsetting Scarlett. The nurse closed the door, giving them some privacy.

Spencer dropped to one knee in front of Scarlett, immediately looking up into her eyes.

"Katy," he nudged her gently, seeing a faraway look in her gaze. "Scarlett… talk to me…"

"I can't," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I can't do this… Why did I think I could do this?" she asked in a trembling tone.

"Do what Katy?" he saw her eyes look towards the door. "No… Scarlett. You don't want to do that. Not here, not now…" he warned her, seeing she was considering running.

"Pull it back in, darling. Come on," Reid moved closer, pressing his cheek against hers and whispering in her ear.

"You are the strongest woman I know, Katy Scarlett. You are stronger than the demons that chase you. Fight them back now, put a leash on them…"

Scarlett breathed in Spencer's scent, listening to his voice and letting it fill her head. He could feel her breathing in deeply, reining back in her own mind.

"Spencer," she stuttered out his name on a sigh, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Jesus… I'm so scared…" she shook slightly in his arms.

"I know baby…" he rocked her gently, kissing her temple. "It's okay. I've got you…"

"But… what if…" she sniffled as he interrupted her.

"No 'what ifs' Katy," he said, taking out his handkerchief. "We aren't doing the 'what if' game with my genetic line or yours- remember?" he asked her, wiping away the tears on her cheeks.

"Now I am worrying though Spence. I can't help it. I didn't even consider my father's genetics… You know what he was! If any of that passes through me…" she felt her breath hitch on a strangled sob…

"Katy," Spencer took her shoulders firmly in his hands and gave her a little shake. "Listen to me…" he watched her eyes, making sure she was staying with him and not lost in her memories.

"Think of Norie, darling," he reminded her gently. "You love your sister, our daughter, very much- don't you?" he asked her.

Scarlett sucked in shallow breath and only nodded.

"And she's a closer blood tie to your father than our baby will be… right?"

She nodded again, watching his eyes and seeing the truth of what he was telling her.

"R-Right," she stammered out unevenly. "She's the only good thing to come from him…"

Spencer shook his head. "That's not true, Scarlett. You came from him too, and you are good. Genetics be damned, Katy- we become who we are not only because of bloodlines, but through the product of our environments and who raises us. You are who you are because of Frannie more than because of your father's DNA… and Norie's life was shaped by her mother, and now you and me and Frannie… And our baby will be the best that he or she can be, because that's how we will raise them. Your father won't touch what we've made together…" he told her, kissing her forehead.

Scarlett wrapped her fingers around his wrists, holding them as he gently stroked her cheeks with his thumbs.

"Ah, God… when you tell me things like that Spencer, I can't help but believe," she sighed, kissing his lips lightly. "Thank you…" she breathed out.

"For what?" he asked, kissing her again, needing the contact.

"Mmm. For letting me borrow your strength when I can't find mine," she closed her eyes, leaning her forehead to his.

"Anytime, my beautiful crazy girl…" he kissed the tip of her nose lightly. "I love you…"

"As I love you," Scarlett repeated, rubbing her nose against his. She heard the soft knock on the door announcing the doctor's arrival and pulled back a little, her fingers locked into Spencer's. She felt him press three fingers into her palm, keeping his hand in hers.