Natasha was still laying in the hospital bed, and Clint still couldn't get over how ridiculously happy he felt when he looked down, and was able to see her open, beautiful eyes staring back at him.

The last day and a half….. They hadn't been easy. A dizzying array of doctors, and scientists, and geniuses and nurses had been filtering in and out of the room almost non stop. Running tests, asking questions, giving good news and bad news, always reminding Clint that nothing was certain yet. Most all of them explained they could only guess if Natasha was going to make a full recovery, or stay stuck in this strange stage she was in for the rest of her life.

Because although Natasha had made a huge leap forward by waking up, coming out from the other side of the coma lucid and mostly relatively alert, it seemed she was stuck now. On a kind of plato- Not moving forward, or noticeably improving, but thankfully not slipping back into her unresponsive vegetive state.

Clint knew probably sooner than later, he would worry about things like the fact that she was having trouble speaking. That she stumbled over words, and had forgotten key memories from her life. But honestly right now, he was just so happy she was awake, and alive, that he couldn't bring himself to worry about what the future might hold. Not yet. For now he was just grateful she was at his side.

Not that he didn't have moments of worry, of fear.

Like this morning, when Bruce had come to visit. He had wanted to see Natasha, of course, but had also asked Clint if he could come give her a check up. He had done more than his fair share of research on the brain in the past, and had suggested that he might be able to offer insight on Natasha's condition, or discuss possible treatment plans with the many doctors taking care of her.

So Banner had come in, his medical bag in hand, eager to help and relieved to hear Natasha was awake. She had been tired, but awake when he came in. And when Bruce came and stood next to her bed, smiling excitedly, relief clear on his face- Natasha had stared back at him. Her eyes empty of recognition, face clear of emotion. She stared at Bruce the same way she stared at every other Doctor who had come to examine her. For a second Clint told herself that she was just tired, or maybe it would take a minute for the face and memory to fit together. Then it hit him.

Natasha didn't know who Bruce was. She wasn't even trying to think of who he was- She straight up didn't know him.

Still, at first Clint had hoped that she was just tired. Or messing with them, playing some kind of cruel twisted sick joke. Maybe she just needed to wake up a bit more, then she would realize who Bruce was.

But she didn't react to him. Didn't try and say his name, didn't give him a second glance before her eyes gravitated back to Clint, didn't look at him any differently than she had looked at anyone else who had come to examine her.

The entire incident had made Clint feel sick to his stomach.

Banner had handled it surprisingly well, taken it in stride. Obviously it had shaken him, to have Natasha not even consider that she might know who he was, but he hadn't let her know that. He had asked Natasha if she recognized him, thought she might know him, and when he saw that his questions were upsetting her, Bruce had stopped asking them and done a few exams, talking kindly and brightly the whole time abut little nothing things.

When he was done, Bruce had asked Clint if he could come out in the hall for a couple of minutes. Natasha had held tighter to Clint's hand when he stood up to leave, her eyes glued to his face, and the archer had smiled and squeezed her hand before letting go. "Nat, it's ok. I'll be back in just a minute. I promise."

He could feel her eyes following him as he walked out of the room.

Once he got into the hallway, Clint's face had collapsed and he had leaned his head against the wall, not sure what else to do. Banner had stood awkwardly next to him, fidgeting with his hands, and the bag he was holding, not quite sure what to say.

"Has….. Has that, happened with anyone else? I mean- Who else, has she seen? Am I the only one she didn't recognize?"

Clint didn't look up when he answered. "Rogers came to see her, but she was sleeping. He's coming around later tonight. Um, there's also- There was this Doctor, that came to check on her? Crazy guy, he's super abrupt and somehow always gets stuck looking after me and Nat when we get hurt and need fixing up that we can't do ourselves. Stitches, sutures, serious stuff. I didn't think about it then, didn't think it was a big deal, but she didn't recognize him. Didn't even react when she saw him. Is that bad? Maybe she was just tired, or didn't care if she recognized him or not?"

Fear was gnawing at Clint's insides. Where there more warning signs, red flags he had failed to notice? What else was wrong with his partner?

Bruce shrugged slowly, Clint thought he looked like a turtle trying to recede back into his shell. "Well, she's only been awake for a little bit. Her brain has been through a lot, I wouldn't worry about it yet…. Let me run some tests back in the lab, calculate a few things, and talk to her other doctors. I'll let you know if there's anything else you should be worried about. And start thinking of ways I can help. In the meantime keep an eye on her like you've been doing, contact me if anything else like this happens. You know. If she can't think of the right word for something, or does't recognize a face she should know, or can't remember an even you think should be stuck in her memory. I don't think you should be testing her yet, setting her up to answer questions she's just not ready for. Like I said, her brains been through a lot. It's possible this was just a fluke, and in a couple days her brain will be reoriented, and she'll be fine. She will be fine. You shouldn't worry about this Clint."

Banner tried to smile at Clint because the archer was looking at him like he was his last hope, patted his shoulder awkwardly, and then went back to the lab to calculate and formulate and plan how to get Natasha back to her old self.

Bruce had come to see Natasha hours ago, but Clint hadn't stopped thinking about his visit since he left. Natasha was sleeping now, and Clint was holding tight to her hand, and playing with the tangles of her hair, wondering if maybe he should try and brush some of the knots out of it.

He was also looking at her closed eyes, wondering what was hiding behind them, brewing in her brain. Was she going to be ok? Did she really not remember who Bruce was? Would she remember him again, hopefully soon? What else couldn't she remember? What would she never remember again? She'd hardly been able to move her right hand at all since she woke up, what else was she not going to be able to do?

It didn't matter. Clint didn't care if Natasha was bed bound for the rest of her life, or if she forgot his name tomorrow. He loved her, he would always be there for her. He was just scared of how Natasha Romanoff, The Black Widow could handle going from being a woman who could do almost everything, to doing, knowing, nothing. Having to start from the beginning. Again. How many times can a single person make over their entire life, from scratch?

No, Clint didn't want to think like that now. She was awake, talking just a little bit more every hour. She would be ok. She would remember everything, regain control over her entire body.

And if she wasn't fine? He would take care of her. And if she had to start over from the beginning with nothing? Well, it wouldn't be the first time she had to do that. And besides, she wouldn't have nothing this time. She would have him.

Steve was standing nervously in the hallway, waiting for Clint, or a Doctor, or someone to tell him he could come in to finally see Natasha. Suddenly the door opened, and Clint came out. He looked happier than he had been when Natasha was still unresponsive, but no longer looked quite as joyful as he had been in the immediate time after his partner woke up.

Steve smiled nervously, "How is she?" Clint shrugged, shifted nervously from one foot to the other, he had been sitting still all day, he was used to being more active than this. "Um- Well, she's- Still awake. And talking a bit more, and she can, you know, squeeze my hand and stuff."

Steve's smile grew, but he hesitated before he spoke. "Um, so- isn't that good? Shouldn't you be happy about that?" Clint paused for a long moment before sighing.

"Steve….. Banner came by earlier. He wanted to visit, and check out Nat, see if he could do something to help. And- she didn't recognize him, didn't remember him, he could have been any of the other doctors who came to check on her. The doctors say there is a chance that her brain- just hasn't rebooted yet, maybe she'll wake up tomorrow and remember everything. But they don't know the extent of the damage, they ran a lot of stupid tests today, and are probably going to run more tomorrow. I've been trying to talk to her about the mission, what went down in there. And when I asked her if she remembered if you made it out ok, she said she couldn't remember. Steve, I know you want to go in and see her, but- there's a chance that she won't remember you."

Steve processed this information, his face a mask that Clint couldn't see behind. He had no idea what the captain was thinking. Then Steve reached out and patted Clint's shoulder awkwardly and quickly. "I'm sorry Clint. I mean- At least she's awake, right? That's all that matters. She's alive, and here, and everything is going to be ok."

That wasn't exactly something Steve was 100% sure about, but it just felt like the right thing to say- and it seemed to comfort the archer. Clint half smiled. "You're right- You ready to see her?" Steve nodded, and Clint opened the door to let him in.

Steve was terrified. He had been through this before- Going to see someone he cared about, not being sure if that person would remember him. Of course Peggy came to mind. Every time he went to see her, he wasn't sure if she would be lucid, know who he was and be able to hold a conversation, or if she would be totally out of it and have no recollection of Steve.

So at least it wasn't like he wasn't used to situations like this. He was still scared though. Because this time, if Natasha didn't recognize him, it was going to be at least partially his own fault.

Her eyes were closed when they got to her bedside, and at first Steve was worried she was asleep, but Clint somehow knew that she wasn't. He reached out and lightly squeezed her hand. "Hey, Nat, someone's here to see you." Her eyes opened slowly, and at first just focused on Clint, she was looking at him, and her eyes were filled with trust, maybe even love. What would be in her eyes when she looked at Steve? Indifference? Non recognition? Confusion? Fear? Hate?

Eventually she tore her gaze away from Clint, and when her eyes landed on Steve, she didn't do anything at all for a few excruciating seconds. But then, she smiled.

"Captain Rogers. You're alive." Steve was flooded with relief, there was a burning sensation at the back of his eyes for just a second, and he had to sit down in the chair next to Clint. He laughed a little bit, and tried to smile and look like he hadn't thought he would never speak to her again. "Yeah, I'm alive Natasha. We're both alive."

Her gaze was locked on his face, and when she spoke it was slowly, like she was fumbling for the right words, couldn't quite figure out what to say. "I'm sorry, about your friend." For a minute Steve was confused, then scared that she was really messed up and had no idea what she was talking about. Then she spoke again. "I'm sorry he's gone-Bucky. The Winter Soldier. I- I'm sorry, that, you had to be the one- to shoot him. That's not right."

Steve didn't bother to tell her that in the end Bucky had killed himself, had set off the explosion that had almost killed her. That wasn't the point, and might just confuse her more. Clint shot Steve a curious look, he hadn't heard all of the details of their mission. He had been too worried about Nat to really care. Steve would explain the whole awful mess to him later, it didn't matter now.

"It's fine Natasha. I had to, I mean, he was hurting people. The Bucky I know died years ago. I didn't shoot him, I shot the Winter Soldier." Steve had been trying to convince himself of this in the last week when he wasn't worrying about Nat, or rescuing Clint. It wasn't working, and he knew later would come guilt and grief and "what ifs" and "should have's." But honestly he had been so scared for Natasha, so guilty about her, he had hardly had time to think about Bucky. Hadn't had time to mourn the loss of another friend. That would come later.

Natasha looked like she knew Steve didn't really believe what he was saying, but she let it go. Maybe she wanted to believe him, maybe she was just tired. She squeezed on Clint's hand in hers, and closed her eyes. For a second Steve was worried she was falling asleep, but he had things he had to say.

"Natasha?" Her eyes didn't open, but she raised one of her eyebrows and made a sound in her throat, to indicate she was listening. Steve's eyes darted to Clint, wondering if he should say this in front of him or not but whatever, it didn't matter.

"I'm sorry if I let you down in the mission. I don't know what I could have done differently, what I should have done differently, but I feel I should have prevented all- THIS from happening. I'm sorry that you're in this hospital bed, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. And thank you for waking up from that damn coma, because if you hadn't-" Steve stopped talking, feeling emotional, not sure if he was supposed to reveal how much danger Natasha had been in. Maybe they didn't want to upset her, and no one had told her they didn't think she would wake up.

Natasha's eyes were open now, and it looked like she was trying to sit up but Clint sat up in his chair and gently pushed her back down to relax on the bed. "Nat. You heard the Doctors, you need to stay still." She looked seriously annoyed, shot Clint a disgusted look but lay back down willingly enough.

She was staring at Steve, and there wasn't anything unfamiliar, or confused, tired or hazy in her eyes now, like there had been before. Her eyes looked stubborn, and determined, like she had to do something and was going to do it. When she spoke, she sounded just like the Natasha that Steve had learned to work with in the last couple months.

"Steve. Nothing, and I mean nothing that happened on that mission was your fault. Do you understand that? Not Bucky dying, not me getting hurt, not the explosion, non of it was your fault." Steve started to protest, and Natasha's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Steve. Trust me. If it was your fault, I would tell you. I don't lie to people I trust. None of this happened because of you. Ok? Do you believe me?" It looked like she was about to try and sit up again, but Clint was gently urging her to lay still.

And Steve didn't believe her. Not really. But he soaked up her words, and tucked them away, hoping that someday he would pull them out again when he wasn't so full of guilt. And maybe then he could trull appreciate them, and hopefully, some day, believe them. And maybe then this guilt over the mistakes of this last mission would go away.

Now, though he really didn't mean it, Steve smiled and said "Yeah, I believe you Natasha." And she stared at him, for a long unblinking moment. Then she sighed, and relaxed back into her pillow. "You're a terrible liar Rogers."

Steve couldn't help but laugh at this, and shot back at her, "Well maybe I'm not in the right business then." Natasha smiled, and Clint looked a bit confused, but he was smiling because Natasha was, and that alone was enough to make him happy.

They talked a bit more, not about anything all that important. And then Natasha was having trouble keeping her eyes open, and Steve took that as his cue to leave. He was halfway to the door when she called his name. "Steve?" He paused, and looked back at her. He swore she was smirking at him. "Didn't I tell you to ask Hill out a while ago?" Steve thought back to a mission when they first became partners, when they were on a boring stake out mission. Natasha had been throwing names of girls at him, adamant she would find him a date. And- yeah- She had suggested he ask Hill out. Steve nodded sheepishly, not able to help the smile on his face. "Um, yeah I think you did."

Natasha was definitely smirking as she looked at Clint. "You owe me twenty bucks, I told you I'd set him up with a girl before the end of the year."

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