Rina to the Rescue!

"A dog went into the kitchen and stole a slice of bread," sung Alexander as he played with the cups he had collected, swirling them around in circles making trails in the dirt. He had been trapped all day and even worse, now his only partner in conversation had disappeared to use the bathroom...only thing worse then that was the fact that when he returned chances are someone like Boris would be talking about using the bathroom. He shivered at the thought.

Alexander sighed as he looked around him at the bland room. The table had been cleared of Boris' rather exorbitant meal. The only thing that even hinted on his disgusting meal was the awful aroma of mixed meats that still lingered in the air. It was another thing that made Alexander dread his extended stay here. Sadly his tunnel out of here was taking a long time. Digging a tunnel through solid rock with a spoon sounded a lot easier in his mind...but it turns out that it is really, really hard.

"Alexander!" shouted a woman's voice. It filled the small room quickly. Alexander leapt up from his seat. Either Rina had arrived and decided to save him or Boris was really, really, really creepy. Alexander's only hope right now would be to pray and pray that it was Rina.

"Alexander?" called the voice out once more. Alexander perked up, jumping to his feet. He yelled loudly, trying to attract her attention. Rina ran into the room, Hayate was in her arms right now. "Alexander?" she ran up to the bars and met with Alexnader face-to-face. "Are you okay?" she asked as she grasped the iron bars in her hand.

"Oh, thank god it is you," shouted Alexander. The images of Boris talking in a high-pitched voice still ringing in his head...sadly as he was currently looking at Rina, he was putting Boris into Rina's clothes subconsciously. Alexander crumpled to the ground, his stomach churning uncontrollably due to the imagery. "Please...help me..."

"Right!" shouted Rina as she looked about the room. There wasn't a single key hook in the room. "Uh...Alexander, do you know where they kept the key?" Alexander shook his head in the cave. Rina moaned, "shit...any ideas?"

"No worries!" shouted Alexander as he produced a spoon from his coat pocket, "just grab a spoon from the table and we can dig into the cave wall and free me that way!" Alexander pointed over to the table briefly before returning his attention to the wall and began digging into the wall once more with his spoon. He had renewed vigor as he dug into the rocky wall with his small metal piece of silverware. With just one person it would've taken forever to dig into the wall, before with two...maybe three if Hayate got better...wait, what happened to Hayate? "What happened to Hayate?"

Rina looked down into her arms, "um...Boris hit him..." said Rina as she reexamined Hayate's status, if Alexander noticed it must be something severe...she shook her head free of her thoughts, "anyways, your plan is terrible! I mean digging a hole in the wall of a cave? That's something that doesn't even work in books! I mean can't you just break down the bars with your iron fists!"

"Break down the bars?" said Alexander in disbelief, "do you know how hard these things are? Besides, I have no idea how much support these things give the cave...I bust them wide open, I may cause a cave-in! And I have no time to dig myself out of a cave-in!" Alexander began rapidly flinging dirt behind him, trying to clear the wall.

"But you have enough time to dig a hole in the wall?" shouted Rina, "that's just ridiculous!" she stomped her foot on the ground, "I mean come on! There is no way you could do that! We need to think of a new plan! A smart plan! Are you sure that you never saw the key? Not even when they locked you up? Or when they unlocked you to let you go out and use the bathroom?"

"Not when they locked me up," said Alexander as he stopped digging and threw the spoon on the ground. He turned around and faced Rina, "and they haven't let me out to use the bathroom, yet, thanks for reminding me! Boris is too chicken to let me out and Edward hasn't been back yet! He probably already waged an attack on the Marine Base!"

"What?" asked Rina, "attack the Marine Base?" She looked back behind her...she never heard of a mountain bandit attacking the Marine Base. There were plenty of pirates stupid enough to attack a Marine Base, she had heard of a group of pirates that recently attacked one...the one they had just established at Reverse Mountain...those pirates actually managed to destroy it. The official report only recorded a total of six pirates breaking in...then there was prison break-out where multiple pirates fled. Not a single one of the original pirates that broke in were caught...good news is several Revolutionaries were caught. Luckily, there is now a Shichibukai chasing after those pirates to bring them to justice...

Alexander snapped her back into the current situation as he continued, "yeah, the Mountain Bandits for some reason believes that their boss can consume two Devil Fruits. So they are breaking into the Marine Base in order to obtain a Devil Fruit the Marine Captain is supposedly stashing there." Rina nodded as she took it all in.

"Anyways, we should p-probably just focus on breaking you out of t-there for now," said Rina as she looked back around her. She was growing more and more nervous as time continued...Boris was tough for her to beat and he wasn't even the boss of this group of bandits...she now saw why they were confident enough to attack a Marine Base, "so you n-never saw them lock you in?" she reiterated, "maybe...maybe you can kick the door in or s-something..."

"Okay, cool!" shouted Alexander as he strode over to the door of the cage. He had read somewhere that if you wanted to kick a door in you aimed right above the locking mechanism...whether or not that was true was a different story. Alexander lifted his leg up and prepared to launch a kick. He slammed his leg into the door. The door shook in its space. "Crap...that didn't work..." Alexander sighed. "Why don't you try?"

"Yeah, sure," said Rina. She highly doubted that if her captain, who was literally made of iron, couldn't bash a door in that she definitely couldn't. She walked over to the door, she brought her leg up and prepared to kick, but noticed something. "Hey, Alexander, have you tried opening the door, yet?" She looked at the lock on the door, it looked...loose.

"Yeah," replied Alexander as he slumped down in a corner of the room, "and no matter how hard I pushed it wouldn't open. I mean, no matter how hard...besides you just saw me kick it...if it wasn't locked it would've opened then, wouldn't it?" Alexander sighed as he continued to play with his three remaining cups in the dirt.

"Okay, so you pushed it and kicked it...what about pulling it?" asked Rina as she poked the door gently with her index finger and watched it swing open with ease. Alexander sat in his corner of the cage for a few more seconds staring at her with a dumbfounded expression. He didn't understand it at all...Rina brought her palm into her own face... "why didn't you try pulling on it?"

"That never works!" shouted Alexander, "generally if you can't open a door with brute force, you should just give up." Alexander stood up. Something in the back of his head had been nagging him through out this entire time...something that Specter had said was ringing in his head.

"Oh, but digging a hole in the wall with a spoon does!" shouted Rina as her voice rose at Alexander. She just couldn't believe the depths to Alexander's stupidity. She was wondering at this point if even Alexander believed that half of the things that he did would work. At this point she was seriously starting to worry in his sanity and intelligence.

Finally, Specter's words popped back into Alexander's mind. As Alexander thought about it, it started to make sense why she was mad at him. He hadn't called Rina by anything other then her name and he certainly hadn't tried to kiss her...of course, no matter how Alexander thought about it it seemed like a bad idea, but he didn't know much about girls and he trusted Specter (as he had yet to give him a reason why not to). "I am so glad that you are my wife, Rina!" said Alexander as he hugged her.

"Oh, yeah, me...wait? What did you say?" shouted Rina as she pushed Alexander off of her. "What did you just call me?" She looked at him bewildered. She regretted it almost the minute she did so. Alexander had puckered his lips and was moving in for the kiss. "HAYATE!"

(-at the Marine Base-)

Marcus crept through the Marine Base as stealthily as his clunky work boots would allow him. He wanted to avoid as much trouble as possible. The bomb would fundamentally divide the Marine Forces in half...Edward would probably slaughter another quarter of them, all that left was for him to waltz in steal the Devil Fruit from Edward, plug a bullet into his ugly mug and he'd be a new all-powerful pirate bent on conquering the Grand Line. Only thing he needed now was something bigger and better, a new weapon and the like.

A loud noise exploded in front of him, the shock wave from the blow forced him backwards. He was thrown forcefully to the ground. He grunted in pain as he turned himself over and stood back up. He produced his gun and looked around him, trying to ascertain who attacked him. He looked up and saw Specter holding his crossbow-like weapon, aiming it at him. Specter smiled, "would you look at what the rat dragged in? I know its supposed to be cat...but I don't think any cat would be able to stand that hideous face of yours."

"YOU!" shouted Marcus as he fired a bullet at Specter, he heard the bullet as it clanged off of the walls, changing directions with each ricochet. Finally the bullet embedded itself directly in front of Specter's shoe. "I remember that same lame-ass face and even that comment from our last raid! You are that freakin' insane man that blew us up!" Marcus brought himself up to a stand as he repositioned his gun aiming for Specter's head. "If it wasn't for you our last raid would've succeeded and we'd still have all 50 of our men! But no! Now we are down to just me and my three idiot brothers!"

"I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure I didn't cause your men to abandon you," commented Specter, "I'd say that's because you didn't have any women on your crew. Men can only stay on a crew for so long before they want a woman around. I mean, hack if it wasn't for the women I see on the job I probably would've quit years ago."

"Nice to know you have such an amazing sense of duty," mocked Marcus as he began to walk around, trying to put more distance in between him and the crazy man in front of him. He had no interest in fighting with him, especially considering the fact that a fight with Specter would only slow him down and he had to meet up with Edward before he ate the fruit. Edward said he wouldn't eat it until he was with him, Boris, and Kane...but Marcus was planning on double-crossing him, who would say that Edward wasn't thinking the same?

"Gonna bail?" said Specter with a smirk, "I mean I wouldn't blame you at all. I am pretty fear-inspiring, not to mention the fact that you are a chicken! Bawk Bawk bawk!" shouted Specter as he placed his thumbs into his armpits and began to impersonate a chicken, trying to tempt Marcus into staying and fighting.

Marcus was boiling mad. As the fight continued he couldn't help but remember the fight with him. Specter hadn't changed at all. He was just as annoying all those years ago. The images of their fight kept running through his mind as he recalled what had happened. Remembering that night all those years ago and watching Specter doing the chicken dance only made him want to kill him all the more.

Alexander has learned a very important lesson today. Never kiss a girl without her consent first...I think almost all of us has learned that lesson the hard way...calling a girl your wife is also a bad move. Yup, that's why I write these stories, not to make people laugh or engage them, but to teach them valuable life lessons. Of course, Alexander isn't the only one in a tough spot. Specter is facing off against an insane gunslinger and Akane has been kidnapped! Not to mention that with every passing second Edward draws closer to the Devil Fruit!

Also for those of you who do as a matter of fact read my Saga of the Infinity Pirates, you will notice I referred to it when Rina was talking about the pirates that attacked the Marine Base (yes, that was Mikoto and the gang). Also, the song Alexander is singing at the beginning of this chapter is the same song Mikoto sung in Chapter 2.