The In-Between Times: Chapter 25
by Helena Fallon
Monday morning
Spencer Reid decided that at that moment he actually felt contented as he sat in the aisle seat of the plane heading back towards Washington on the early morning flight from Las Vegas. Dr. and Mrs Bishop had both insisted on driving them to the airport and they left with promises of returning in the future when work permitted. Spencer knew that they had genuinely liked Jo and he had felt a satisfaction from deep within that it was important to him that this couple had approved of his partner. It was just good to feel accepted with his girlfriend in their home and the Bishops were thrilled that he had brought her on his short stay. The simple fact was that the genius was suddenly enjoying showing how normal he was by having a stable girlfriend to share his life. Normality was not always attainable in his life especially with his work that involved the extremes of crimes. He turned his thoughts away from thinking about work and remembered how they had entertained the Bishops' with Dowland on Saturday evening. Dr. Bishop had filmed some of it to show Peter who loved to hear him play. For Spencer the Bishop family had given him a taste of a normal family life while studying at the university and he was ever grateful for their generosity. The experience had remained a model of what a family should be like because Spencer's own had been very unusual.
Jo snuggled a little closer as she dozed; they both had to go straight to work when they got to Washington. Jo could get the metro to the Washington office and Spencer had left his car at the airport so he had the extra drive to Quantico. He wasn't sure how heavy the traffic would be but the effort to go to Vegas for the weekend had been priceless for the unspoken pleasure there had been for all concerned…
Diana Reid had been in a good mood and very alert. It was wonderful that his mother recognised him and was thrilled at the thought of Spencer playing his lute for her and that he had bought a friend to sing. Diana was charm itself and very coherent. Jo was gentle and careful not to give away the true nature of their relationship and responded to Diana's intellectual conversation concerning the poetry of Dante. The other residents enjoyed the little concert they gave in the day room and the staff seemed to appear out of the woodwork aswell. The whole visit was a success, in fact the best that Spencer could remember. It was good to see his Mom actually happy for a change and Jo even got Dr. Smetner to take a few photos of the visit without causing Diana any alarm. When they made there way to the entrance afterwards, several of the staff came up and thanked them personally because they felt that it had been enjoyed by all those in the day room and they hoped they would come again with the lute. Diana Reid's personal Doctor was delighted with Diana's response to the visit and said that it had been a pleasure to meet Jo and thought that she handled herself well and hoped she would come again. Jo had smiled warmly at Dr. Hendley and said that she knew things were difficult with Diana but she was Spencer's partner and she didn't want to ignore the situation that was part of Spencer's life.
Spencer stared out at the beautiful sunrise and hoped that it would continue to be a wonderful day. He treasured the woman who was beside him and was amazed that the thought of visiting his schizophrenic mother had not frightened her, but it was far more than that, she had actually suggested the idea of the lute. He had never thought of doing that before and he was grateful for her insight and sensitivity to the situation. The success of the weekend had made Spencer feel far more confident about mentioning his relationship with Jo more openly around Quantico. Suddenly the passengers were warned of being 5 minutes away from landing and Spencer gently shook Jo awake.
"Come on sleepy, soon be landing…" he whispered to her.
"Mmm…I was enjoying the doze, but at least I got all that costing for the Old Armoury project finished on Friday before I left…I wonder what Uncle Jeff thought of it," she said yawning a little and started a sympathetic response in Reid.
Quantico, a little later
Dr. Reid was helping with routine annual psych evaluations for part of the week and this time was based at Quantico. The team was careful not to give him people who worked in his division, that fell under Erin Strauss, but he enjoyed this work and he relaxed into the routine. As he walked the corridors of the Mental Health Services department he felt at home, unlike the agents who normally reluctantly came here once a year if they were lucky. He had been assigned Room 16 on level 3 and he enjoyed the prospect of having this as his personal working space for the next three days.
"Morning Arthur," Max said to his senior psych, who had just emerged from the elevator.
"Arthur beamed, "Morning, I've just seen Spencer Reid…He had a good visit to see his mother at the weekend."
Max nodded and smiled; he was very pleased with how Reid's training was progressing and how steady he seemed despite the unexpected problems of his return.
"Did he take Jo?"
"Yes," Arthur said with a smile, "He took his lute and they gave a little concert for his Mom apparently…it was a very happy visit all round."
"Good," replied Max quietly and walked with Arthur to his room just generally chatting about how the department seemed to be running smoothly at the moment.
Max continued on to his own room, further down the corridor, and could see that Don was already waiting for him and had helped himself to coffee.
"Sorry, Don," he said closing the door, "I was talking to Arnie and we went over last weeks group training together."
Don raised his eyebrows expectantly.
"Reid was very good, how's Gideon?" Max replied to the unasked question, as he went to get himself some coffee before going to his desk.
"He went home on Friday night and said that he was hoping to see his son for a couple of days and then wanted to come back to help with the profiling requests from Wednesday."
"How do you feel about that?" probed Max.
"He'll probably be all right but we have got to keep an eye on him from now on. He feels he let down Reid and wants to see him to apologise…"
"Does Gideon accept Reid taking over the group dynamics monitoring as part of his professional training?" Max asked respecting Don's judgement in this matter.
"Yes, I think watching Reid's statement has made him see Reid as far more mature than they had been giving him credit for."
Max nodded, "It's ironic but Reid, despite the Hankel case, is a lot steadier than he was because he is now far more aware of his capabilities and knowing he survived that ordeal has made him stop coasting."
"This relationship with Jo is very serious isn't it?" Don probed.
"Yes, but he told me that he'd known her brother for some time so I think he felt comfortable when he did finally meet her. But then she had also experienced post-trauma so there was a lot to help the relationship gel together very quickly. It's a good family and Spencer isn't going to waste time dithering with self doubt…Facing your own death is wonderful at clearing away all the excuses…I don't think he's going to throw away this second opportunity at life."
"He's come back different and things didn't go how we imagined…What about the rest of the team?" Don asked hoping that he would get the opportunity to speak to Spencer himself that week.
"Don…They have had a reality check and the fallout from Gideon's actions is still being felt. Garcia and Morgan are still suspended but Prentiss is back, if Gideon returns too this week then it will begin to settle down again. But I want Reid to have his time here with the evaluations because it will be a reminder to them all that he has a foot in both camps…just like Gideon." Max quietly but firmly stated.
"He's too young to take over from Gideon at the moment," Don replied.
"Of course he is, but his training had been neglected and see how he has flourished once we started in a systematic way to prepare him to be a senior psych." countered Max.
"It puts a lot of strain on relationships…he may decide to leave the BAU?" Don warned.
"Then that is his choice, but I think he has profiled Jo and believes that she can cope with the work. They are a very close family but I think Spencer Reid will create his own family unit sooner than people think. He and Jo had both felt they would not survive so now they have each other I think it will be the next step because of the experiences they have had." Max confidently stated.
"You going to take a bet on that?" asked Don with twinkling blue eyes.
"Oh, I told him at the Clinic he was to bring someone to one of my Christmas evenings…It will Jo and Christmas is a very romantic season…I think an engagement is on the cards."
Don shook his head, "Who would have thought you were such a romantic Max," Don said laughing, "Just wait until I tell Arthur this one!"
"So what do you think?" Max challenged his colleague.
"Next Spring, about a year after Hankel, but just an engagement."
There was a knock on the door and Arthur appeared and both men burst into laughter.
"Can I join in the joke?" Arthur asked as he handed a file to Max, "That's the report on O'Neal."
"Thanks…We are predicting the future of Reid's relationship," Max said, "I think he will get engaged at Christmas and Don thinks next Spring…Don was going to ask for your expert opinion."
"Ah!" Arthur's round face lit up, "In my expert opinion, based on my hours of talking to the said agent…" Don and Max looked at each other…
"And we didn't?" Max interjected.
"Well, I've known him the longest," Arthur justified, "As I was saying, in my expert opinion…I think he will be married before the year is out!" he ended with a flourish.
"Fifty dollars in from each of us, the nearest claims it for his charity," stated Max.
"Done!" said Arthur and Don together.
"Married?" said Don to Arthur, "I thought Max was the romantic…"
"Now we Jews…we know about match making and there is that certain air about a man who has met the partner he wants…" replied Arthur confidently.
Max shook his head, "And I thought it was the women that we had to be careful of…" he muttered with laughter in his voice.
The BAU, Wednesday, 6 p.m.
Emily was about to go home after spending 5 hours solid on profiling requests, she felt very tired but at least this week was at the home base. The BAU staff had been more welcoming than she had expected on the Monday. Barry had led the way with his cheerful, "Good morning" and her butterflies melted away. J.J. had also smiled as she passed through and no one had specifically alluded to the reasons for her previous absence. Hotchner had seemed busy himself with various meetings to attend outside the department but he did say he was glad to see her back because the requests were piling up. It seemed strange that Garcia was not in her lair but another computer tech, called Ben, was there and he seemed as quiet as a mouse compared with the exuberant, larger than life woman. Emily had settled down to work through the pile Barry had assigned to her, but she did ask him when Reid was coming back and was told that he was helping with psych evaluations and he'd probably return on Thursday.
Half way through this morning, Gideon had arrived and spent some time talking in Hotchner's office and then with Barry. He looked rested and more relaxed than she had seen him since before the Hankel case. He had chatted to her over a lunch time coffee but neither mentioned the circumstances for the stand down of the team. She had found herself telling him unexpectedly about riding with George and his youngest child, Sophie. Emily thought how charming Gideon seemed to be, not at all like the moody individual that she had seen in New Orleans and then suddenly he had said…
"I'm sorry, Emily, I really owe you an apology because I was not handling Reid's return properly…I totally misread how he expected me to support him."
Emily had found herself captured by the older man's deep eyes that shone with a sincerity that she knew was genuine and her heart opened to the man before her. Gideon had such a reputation that people tended to think that he was invincible but he was all too human and Emily had witnessed that with the aftermath of the Hankel case.
"I think we were all struggling to adjust to the Reid who returned," she admitted softly, "I think we wanted him to come back and be the same geeky genius but we didn't want to think about what the ordeal had really done to him."
"No…none of us wanted to face that. Reid is still the genius who is innately good but he has grown up and knows himself a lot more now. I think it will take us sometime to truly appreciate how much he has changed but I do think it's for the better," he confided and gave he a smile that was sad and haunting. Then suddenly Gideon had enigmatically turned away from her and returned to his office to tackle his own pile of requests…
She picked up her purse and checked her coat pocket for her keys. Emily was about to head for the door when she heard her name being softly spoken behind her and turned round to face the voice…
"Sorry, Emily…Are you off home?" the gentle voice said and she found herself looking into the enormous soft brown eyes of Spencer Reid. He looked as if he was homeward bound too with his grey wool jacket over the maroon vest and a petrol blue shirt, he looked very smart even if his hair was too long by FBI standards. These were clothes he rarely wore for the BAU and they made him look like an academic, even the tie was expensive in a maroon silk with a tiny navy motif. She now realised that his clothes had definitely changed since he'd been back. They had been so busy with adjusting to his physical appearance since his return that his actual style of dress had been pushed into the background. However, the shirts were different, he was wearing more darkly coloured shirts that really suited his colouring and more professional image.
She felt momentarily flustered by his sudden appearance and her wandering thoughts about his dress. Emily was also acutely embarrassed about staking out his apartment and how it had all lead to bigger consequences.
"Are you all right?" he asked softly, aware that she seemed startled and not her usual confident self.
Emily pulled herself together, "I'm sorry …I just wasn't expecting you to be here, I mean you've been with the psych department and …"
He smiled and there was the gentleness that she remembered from before Hankel, "I've been helping with some basic psych evaluations but I'm back at my desk here tomorrow. I had hoped that I would see you before then to give you an apology," he said simply and Emily was a little confused.
"I think I'm the one who owes you an apology over what we did that night and…" she interjected.
But Spencer was smiling sadly and shook his head, "You acted out of kindness and concern and you were doing so on the Houston case aswell when I was extremely rude to you. I was very quick tempered partly with the post traumatic stress and I had driven nearly a hundred miles on 4 hours sleep and not helped by my host giving me three very generous brandies before bedtime…"
"Three very generous brandies?" she repeated incredulously because she thought it rare for Spencer to be seen drinking alcohol.
"Yes, Alan is my partner's father and she…Jo was away in Europe and her parents were feeding me that Sunday and Alan had me in his study talking…over his brandy!"
Emily smiled warmly at his admission and felt she had just been allowed a glimpse of the off duty Reid. "You were coping with coming back to the work without your girlfriend?" she asked as the realisation of what he had just said hit her.
"Jo had gone to a friend's wedding and had arranged to visit other friends and distant family as part of her holiday. It was all arranged before she met me so I didn't want to stop her from going…I thought I could cope but back in the field… at first it was not that easy. It got better but I still have flash backs and nightmares without warning even after all these months," he explained and thought how easy it had been to talk about Jo.
Emily nodded and was grateful for his honesty with her. It showed a level of openness that had not been there when he first returned.
"Anyway, I wanted to see you because I should have apologised before and then there was the New Orleans case. Well none of my return went as it should have done but its over now and we all have to pick up the pieces and try to come together again as a team. I did want to say to you that I do trust you out in the field and I apologise for being such a pain in the butt."
"You were not being supported properly, we all noticed and were at fault for not following procedure… Hotch told me that you deliberately brought things to a head to get help for Gideon," Emily quietly said.
Reid nodded, "It's been a difficult time for all of us but I think we all understand ourselves a lot better now. Gideon's back on an even keel again and I'm on the mend and Jo's not planning any long trips without me!" and his eyes twinkled at the mention of his partner's name.
Emily felt genuinely pleased for this man, "I'm so glad that you have some one, are we going to meet her at the Christmas get together?"
"Oh yeah…she passed the security procedure so she's official now and I don't fancy trying to explain her absence to the psych department or Hotch…."
Emily laughed and felt a deep tension within her dissipate, and Spencer Reid gave her one of his wonderful smiles that the team had missed for so long.
"Spence!" J.J.'s voice carried from the stairs, they turned and saw the beaming blond bounce down the steps to join them…
"They've finally let you out of the psych department then," she said, her eyes sparking with her happiness at seeing him.
"I think he's just been hiding down there to avoid all these requests we've been valiantly fighting our way through," Emily stated in a teasing voice.
"I'm back tomorrow, ladies…I've been working hard in the psych department too you know…" he replied in his defence.
Emily and J.J. looked at each other sceptically…
"Of course you have," the blond said.
"Is Gideon about?" he suddenly asked.
"He's in with Hotch…" Jareau answered and wondered how the two men would get on now. The rumours had been rife that Gideon had been forced to take some time out because the stress had been building up. Then the whole team had been stood down following the disciplinary hearings, but the good side had been this brief respite of regular hours.
"Right…I can't really wait but I'll leave a note on his desk," he said, already moving up the steps.
A few minutes later he re-appeared from Gideon's office and headed for the door.
"Goodnight ladies…" he called cheerfully as his long legs covered the distance quickly to the elevators.
"She's called Jo?" asked Jareau.
"Yeah, apparently he was with her parents when he got the call for Houston and had to drive a hundred miles with a hangover…that's why he was late … I'll tell you what he said on the way to the car park…"
An hour later Gideon went back to his room and found a neatly written note on his desk… 'Jo has choir this evening so if you want to come round (coffee/tea/home-made cookies) you are welcome, Spencer.'
He held the note in his hand and smiled at the invitation and the warmth of understanding that was unsaid. Don was right, Spencer Reid was a gentle and forgiving man, even towards his old mentor.
Two hours later Gideon was entering Reid's apartment, he had never been here before but he felt the warm welcome as soon as Reid opened the door with his beaming smile.
"Come on in, I'm glad you decided to come…Let me take your jacket…"
Gideon's eyes began to roam over the vestibule out of habit, even off duty he couldn't stop profiling when he went to a new place. Reid noticed but he didn't feel threatened by the act.
"Would you like some tea or coffee…I do drink a lot more tea these days when I'm home," he confessed, as he hung the jacket in the closet.
"Tea would be nice, do you have any Earl Grey?"
"No problem its one of my favourites…I'll get the water boiling," and turned into the kitchen. Gideon followed him and was immediately taken by the two large etchings on the bright yellow wall.
"This was the first room I painted…the art work is local and from the Torpedo Factory Art Centre…It was part of the project Arthur gave me to personalise my home…"
Gideon turned and smiled, "I bet your excuse had been, 'I never have the time…'"
"Yeah…" agreed Spencer as he reached for the spotted tea pot, "You can go and look around the apartment if you like while I make the tea and then we can be more comfortable in the living room…"
Gideon slipped out aware of the trust that was inherent in the freedom he had just been given. Don had told him about the project and how impressed Arthur had been with the transformation and Don had said he had some interesting artwork on the walls. He noticed how the stark clinical white of the bathroom had been tamed by the use of primary colours, on the blind and with the towels, while the plants added a more natural touch. In the large bedroom he appreciated the painting of St Marks by JEM and the Escher print over the bed. The blues of the room gave it a calm and warm feel; the plain oak floor complimented the various blues and the deep chestnut colour of the leather chair by the window. Gideon was not surprised to find bookcases but there were the little touches of a woman. He smiled at the Paddington Bear that was standing in a corner by one of the closet doors and the cushions arranged on the bed were of various designs and materials, but they all complimented the whole relaxing feel of the room.
He returned to the vestibule and noticed more bookcases and tucked away there was a pencil drawing mounted in an A4 frame but the actual drawing was much smaller in size. It was another JEM but, as he peered closely, he realised that it was not just 'Man with Lute' as the artist had written under the drawing but a fine study of Spencer playing the instrument.
Gideon walked into the last room and was met by the walnut dining table and a large modern vase full of tiger lilies; the vibrant orange flowers with their dark spots dominated the dark table and welcomed all who entered the room. He was then transfixed by the large canvas over the sideboard and realised it was another JEM. It was very dramatic and full of movement and then his eyes caught the large terrarium standing on the floor by the first window. Turning to look at the whole long room he was amazed at the size; it was the length of the apartment with three windows which Reid had used to define three distinct uses of the space.
The middle window had a desk with a computer and there were two more oak bookcases like he had seen in the bedroom and vestibule. Along the opposite long wall was extensive shelving holding even more books. On the opposite wall to the JEM painting, there were more books and music. There was a television but it was not a dominating wall mounted feature, like in so many homes these days, but it was on its own stand by the last window. Gideon mentally filed away all he was seeing into another deeper layer necessary for understanding the youngest agent. There was a table with a Go board and Gideon noticed that a game was being played but he did not know how to assess the state of play. Gideon's game for strategy was chess but he acknowledged that Go was an expression of another way of thinking and was just as difficult.
The drapes were drawn revealing their modern leaf design but the colours all blended beautifully and were consistent with the colours that Reid liked in his clothes, especially the greens and browns. The choice of walnut for its rich colour and wonderful natural grain patterns were so indicative of Reid; the furniture was all of a simple but solid design. The rich chestnut colour of the leather couch and recliner at the far end of the room further reflected the warmth of the man who had chosen it. This man did not look at a style magazine and chose the image of masculine modernity as supposedly represented by black leather and the cold touch of glass, steel and chrome. Spencer Reid had deliberately chosen the colours of natures living garden in the warm greens and different colours and textures of wood and natural patterns of their grains to add interest to this room. This was a warm and relaxing room just as the bedroom had been decorated to be calming. All the furniture and furnishings had been chosen with care, even the glass tabletop in the kitchen was given warmth by its sunburst design against a sunshine yellow wall. It was obvious to Gideon that Reid had put his heart and soul into his choices and he hoped that Spencer was proud of the overall effect because it was welcoming and reflected the diversity and sensitivity of the owner.
Spencer suddenly appeared with a black tray holding the tea things and a plate of cookies. He went and placed it on the walnut coffee table and turned back to where Gideon was still standing near the dining table at the other end of the room.
"That picture is called 'Northern Lights' and I'll admit it was expensive but I knew it would look just right on that wall. Greg and Phil came and mounted for me…Greg is an art dealer at the Torpedo Factory," he explained as he poured the tea into the green teacups. The distinctive smell of smoky rafters began to diffuse from the tea and Gideon felt himself relaxing into this living space. This was the home of a sensitive and intelligent man who was finally feeling at ease with himself.
"It's a very fine painting as is the one in the bedroom. I understand that JEMs are rising in value, even Erroll was boasting of the one in his room," Gideon remarked as he was genuinely interested in the art he had seen.
"Yes, I've seen Erroll's… it's an early one from the artist's time in New York, JEM studied art there."
"You obviously know the artist…it's a very intimate little portrait of you with the lute," Gideon said, as he came to join the younger man, and decided to sit on the recliner that also gave him a more extensive view of the room.
"Ah, you noticed…JEM is a very private person," he said carefully, he had not told Erroll who JEM was and he was sure that Gideon would work it out for himself.
"It's a beautiful apartment, Spencer and very spacious…"
Spencer smiled at the compliment and hoped that inviting Gideon here to his inner sanctum would reveal, more than words, how he had changed since the Hankel case.
"Help yourself to cookies…Jo's a very good cook. Yes, I was impressed with the space and I bought it originally because of all the books and music I have. One couple in the block have altered this room to make a separate bedroom for their baby son but its so spacious that the apartment is still big enough for them. Jo's apartment would fit into this room but she still has most of her things back at her parents' home."
"Did you enjoy carrying out Arthur's project?" Gideon asked as he began to sip the aromatic tea.
Spencer's face lit up and he grinned in a familiar youthful way, which made Gideon's heart melt at how young he could still look at times. Life had never been easy for the genius but he sensed contentment in this living space.
"I was manic Gideon! Truly manic!" he said shaking his head and laughing at the memory, "Arthur had taken me shopping for a trip out of the Clinic. I was supposed to be buying clothes but then I saw a sale…I 'm quite good at searching out a bargain but Arthur hadn't realised that I'd been forced to cope with shopping at an early age because my Mom couldn't do it." Spencer proceeded to tell his old mentor about the shopping trip. Very quickly Gideon was chuckling at his exploits…
"But then Arthur had to bring my purchases back here, it took him several trips back and forth to empty his trunk. He just piled up the packages and cans of paint in the vestibule…."
"Oh god…" Gideon laughed, "You've probably put him off suggesting such a project ever again!"
"Well it was all his fault, he even brought me his wife's old interior decorating magazines…"
The two men laughed together at the images the younger one had evoked…
"But then once home, I just was driven to complete the task. I decorated the kitchen wall before going out to shop on the next morning. In the afternoon, I went shopping for the kitchen table and chairs and the blinds for the kitchen and bathroom. Then the next day it was the bedroom and then this one…" said Spencer as he watched Gideon's face become serious…"Like I said, I was manic!"
"But all those books…" Gideon said, his arm indicating the expanse of shelving and the bookcases.
"Yes, I had to remove them and put them back! I had to cover the white walls so I had colour in every room except the vestibule, which doesn't have any natural light so I kept that white, but then I bought extra bookcases and covered the wall space anyway."
"It's a wonder you didn't collapse with exhaustion…" Gideon said with genuine concern.
"The foolishness of youth…But the only reason I'd never tackled this place before was because I hate to start a task and then have to keep leaving it…well you know what its like with the job. But it was worse…because once I'd painted, I then wanted to get rid of my odd bits of furniture and buy some new stuff…Arthur said I couldn't order on-line…you know to make me get out. However, I did go on-line to find what I wanted and to track down the nearest supplier…Again a rather manic period ensued but 'Goodwill' was happy to have what I didn't need and I got the bonsai tree, it's a ficus, and the terrarium at the local 'Goodwill'."
"And the mice?" added Gideon with laughter in his eyes.
Spencer grinned, "The farmer's market along with the cat."
Gideon nodded his head with understanding; the seriousness of his intellect was tempered with this gentle sense of fun. It felt good to have this contact again even if he had to make adjustments to the changes he was now seeing. Gideon was very aware of the trust that Reid had extended to him; this was the nearest anyone in the Bureau was going to get to the real Spencer Reid.
"Thanks for coming Gideon," Spencer said softly, the serious tone made the older man sit up alert, "I wanted you to see my home and all it reveals about me…I trust you with that. I hope you understand that I was trying to help you by making that statement and there is a beneficial side to my group dynamics training," Spencer stated simply and Gideon saw that his enormous sensitive eyes pleaded for the older psych's understanding.
Gideon realised that this young man was reaching across the invisible chasm that had opened between them. The older man felt guilty because as the team's senior psych he had failed this man and he owed Spencer Reid the apology.
"Spencer I'm the one who should be apologising, you were right to make that statement. This work can break you but you just don't necessarily see it coming…" Gideon admitted to his protégé.
"You still have so much to give the team, Gideon…it's why they want me to do the report on the group dynamics as my on going training…It's to take away some of the pressure from you."
"You're very capable of doing that and it's one less piece of admin for me to do. I'm beginning to feel my age," Gideon admitted ruefully, "Retirement is not far away and to be honest I will be ready for more regular hours and the chance to follow up other interests. But I still do owe you an apology; I didn't handle your return properly for the whole group. I thought because they had witnessed a lot of what Hankel did that they would not need a second pep talk like I did for J.J.'s return. I got it all wrong, I thought you wouldn't want me asking you the same questions that you had been asked for months…I'm sorry Spencer," confessed Gideon but he thought the words sounded totally inadequate.
Spencer nodded and the still sunken eyes bore into Gideon's, unafraid to show the emotion that they contained with this man. Gideon was amazed by the trust that he was extending to him despite the past few weeks. The older man marvelled at the wisdom that this young man had and his capacity for forgiveness.
"None of it was helped by the fact that the BAU had been working flat out and for most of that time was understaffed," replied Spencer with understanding, "And none of you knew that Jo was not in the country when I actually returned to the BAU. I think I would have probably slept better if she had been here…if I have a nightmare I seem to settle very quickly if Jo's with me. I felt far happier and steadier once she had come back and she decided to move in here…It's frightening how dependent I've become on Jo being the person I come home to." Spencer said confessing his emotional dependency upon the person who had become central to his world.
"Jo's your anchor, we all need someone or things can get on top of you. Having an anchor in our work is a good thing, it acts as our point of normality…It has been getting me down recently but I think I'm seeing things a little clearer again…I've been in contact with some old friends and I went to see my son."
Spencer looked up at the mention of his son, and Gideon smiled, "It was good to see Stephen again and we spent a happy few days and have agreed to try and keep in more regular contact but with our job…."
Spencer nodded his understanding but he was pleased that the father and son seemed to be both making the effort. Spencer missed his Dad but Alan had slipped effortlessly into that guiding role and together with Margaret, Spencer felt very much part of Jo's family even when Jo was not there. Gideon had been moving more into the background as his support even before the Hankel case but now his whole life had taken a seismic shift since he had been gathered into the Petersen family.
"Is that your father?" Gideon suddenly asked looking towards a photograph in an elegant plain silver frame, it had been taken a month before his death and was very treasured by his son. Jo had bought the expensive frame for it and persuaded him to put it on show on the bookcase. Gideon thought that the son had his father's sensitive eyes.
"Yes, one of his colleagues sent it me and we managed to get a recent one of Mom too where she's actually smiling," Spencer indicated an identical silver framed photograph on the other bookcase, "It was a good day last Saturday and she didn't feel threatened by the camera. Jo sang for her but she doesn't realise that we're living together…" explained Spencer, and Gideon was once more reminded of the difficult background this genius had endured but his gentle nature seemed to shine through his adversity.
"Can I play for you?" Spencer suddenly asked breaking the visual spell of the photographs.
"I'd like that…" and Gideon watched the long limbed man go to the black case by the last window and open up the lid. He reverently took out the lute and Gideon watched the transformation before his eyes as the usually restless slender fingers stilled and began to at first tune the strings. Then the open face of the musician was revealed in all his sensitivity, and Jason Gideon was seeing an inner man he'd never observed before and he felt again humbled by the trust that was being extended to him that evening.
"I've been transcribing some Bach," Spencer began, " Did you know that Bach loved the lute but scholars don't think he could play. He designed a gut strung harpsichord called the lautenwerk to imitate the lute's sound and that it's supposed to have fooled the lutenists of Bach's time. But then what he composed at the lautenwerk couldn't be played on the 13 course instruments of the time. My father originally taught me to play the violin but after he left my Mom smashed my instrument and I was only allowed to play the lute." Gideon mentally flinched at this new information about the man's early life, " Anyway, I've transcribed the violin sonata in G minor…it makes a change to playing Dowland."
Gideon sat captured by the introductory lecture but then suddenly he saw the musician become totally engrossed in the complex music, as the instrument and player became one to fill the room with beauty. Gideon was immediately reminded of the pencil drawing in the vestibule. JEM had captured the oneness of the player and his instrument perfectly and the older man knew that this piece was specially chosen for him because Spencer knew of his love of J.S.Bach's instrumental music. The notes flowed effortlessly; Gideon's eyes became bewitched by the delicacy of the long bony fingers that coaxed the strings to sing. The senior profiler felt the music wrap around him, healing the distance that had formed in a way that no words could have managed. Music had the wonderful power to reach the soul and help to share the goodness that both men held at the core of their beings.
The magic continued as after playing the four movements, Spencer retuned the lute and then began to play the prelude of the Partita in E major that he had transposed to F major for the lute… All six movements were played with a flowing sensitivity…and Jason let the music weave its healing spell. When the music came to an end, they just sat silently contemplating the memory of the intricate musical patterns that Spencer had been playing. Then Spencer looked up, turning towards the Go table and his face broke into the biggest smile that Gideon had seen but it was not for him. Gideon turned to face the recipient of the smile. She was a young woman with short dark loose curled hair framing a broad open face with the darkest of eyes that made it impossible to see where the iris and pupil met. Her smile was open and unaffected, the burgundy red of her silk blouse complimented her natural colouring and the panelled expensive black silk skirt, which fell to her mid calf, accentuated the curves of her hips. She was standing in flat soft black leather pumps that had enabled her to enter the room soundlessly, but she had the wisdom and sensitivity to not break the spell that the musician had woven.
"Jo this is Jason Gideon…" Spencer said softly.
She smiled with warm eyes and was suddenly before the older man. He noticed how she seemed to walk quickly but with hardly a sound even the rustle of her pure silk skirt was muted.
"I'm so pleased you came, Spencer told me he had left you a note," she said offering her hand in friendship. Jason Gideon felt that this woman was not afraid of his reputation or his work as she confidently shook his hand and met his eyes.
"You thought I would be gone before you returned?" he asked with a mischievous twinkle in his own dark eyes.
"Yes, I didn't know if you would want to meet me," she confessed and sat down on the couch, the opposite end to Spencer but nearer to the older man.
"Why did you think that?" asked Gideon a little puzzled by her.
"Well…you people seem to like to keep your private lives and work separate and I only know peoples' names at the moment so it's a pleasure to meet Spencer's mentor."
"But you are going to come to the Christmas event at the Bureau…it's the only time we bring our partners to show them off, trying to make other arrangements can be difficult with our unpredictable work schedules!"
"Ah…yes, I'm getting use to those but then my brother is a doctor so I've been the sympathetic ear for my sister in law for years now, and we are use to him leaving family Sunday lunches because of the calls. Craig, my brother, had been trying to get us to meet for a couple of years. We like to think that Spencer's sick leave provided us with an unexpected and uninterrupted time to get to know each other!"
Gideon chuckled, "Something good to come out of the mending process…"
"Exactly! We saw each other every day after we finally met…My Uncle Jeff was very suspicious of my two hour lunches…."
"Two hours?"
"Well, we didn't want to hurry things, I always went into work an hour early to make up for the change in my routine but the office was suspicious…Can't keep anything secret when you work for family…."
It was nearly two hours later when Gideon had left the happy couple, after coffee and more music, which this time included mostly Dowland, and Jo had sung a couple of songs. Jason Gideon drove towards Maryland feeling a mixture of happiness and, if he was being honest, envy. He was delighted that Spencer Reid had met such a charming, educated and equally sensitive partner. He thought that they had a steadiness and understanding as a couple that had the makings of an enduring partnership. Reid had not had the happiest of lives but Gideon had felt the happiness in their home as soon as he crossed the threshold.
Gideon also envied the couple their happiness and warm home because he no longer had that in his own life. He had friends and an active social life when the work permitted leisure time but he missed having a woman he could trust to go home to and share his leisure time with. Anne had shared some of those times before the Garner case but having a man's head delivered in a box to your haven was not conducive to a stable relationship. Anne had broken off their friendship soon after because she was traumatised by the incident and she felt that she could not cope with the realities of his job. It was ironic that cases very rarely actually entered your personal space when off duty, but Garner had totally unsettled Gideon by his ability to invade his very private retreat from the horrors of his work. Gideon had other women friends he could take out and entertain; he was of an age when there were quite a lot of divorcees and widows circulating in his leisure world. He turned into Arthur Street and entered the underground carpark for his apartment block. As Gideon took the elevator a part of his mind wondered how Morgan would cope with the Reid he had glimpsed tonight. Spencer Reid was a man who was now far more stable than the team's Casanova and if his partnership with Jo endured then Reid would cope with the pressures of being a senior psych.
Gideon turned the key and the door swung open; there was no warm greeting, no light glowing ready for his arrival, no cooking smells to make him feel guilty that he had not made it home in time for the evening meal…The job was a bitch…
End of Chapter 25